There currently is a thread entitled, "Poll : Married women traveling solo," and I'm interested in hearing about cases in which the shoe is on the other foot, so to speak.

My husband and I each have taken solo trips to visit far away family members and friends who have been ill. Once we have been at our respective destinations, we have undertaken some sight seeing activities, but that never has been the primary motivation for the solo trip.

My husband also has had opportunities to add a couple of days of sight seeing at destinations that he has visited for business purposes. I have encouraged him to do that whenever possible. Recently he went on a business trip to a place that was new to him. It was a place that was of cultural and historical interest to both of us, and I asked him if he couldn't add a couple of leisure days to his time there. Sadly, he said he couldn't. He had to fly there, spend his days in business meetings, and then fly straight home again, as there were pressing commitments back here at the office. I thought that was so unfortunate.

But, perhaps because we are more or less equally interested in travel, history, art, architecture, etc., it has not occurred to either of us to go off on a major solo trip for leisure purposes.

In theory I would not be averse to either of us doing that if one of us developed an interest in a place that did not appeal to the other. That has not happened yet, but I suppose it could happen in the future.

For me timing comes into the picture. I think I would have resented it if my husband had gone off on a solo vacation when I was deeply immersed in caring for babies and toddlers. Now that our children are young adults and my husband's and my parenting responsibilities are much lighter than they once were, my husband's going off on a vacation would not have the same implication, from my point of view, that it would have had twenty years ago.

Anyway, I would be interested to hear the experiences, insights and views of Fodorites who are or have been husbands.

Travel alone?
Tried it once for 6 weeks, didn't like it at all.

My girlfriend of many years is almost the perfect traveling companion. Why would I go without her?

Life is no fun without her. When she is gone, I miss her. I recall once when gimpy knees prevented her from taking a hike over some spectauclar scenery. After considerable urging, I went alone, enjoyed what I saw, but at the end of the day I was glad to be with her again.

With her along, life is fun, travel is not so arduous, we have a good time together, and our trips are successful.

My only complaint is that she lets me do too much of the planning. I told her this last time, "You plan London."
Well, she did. And except for one place, we went where I would have gone had I acted independently. Perhaps we have been together too long! We know what the other wants. And she is not one to read city maps too well.

But I will say this much, without her I flounder. With her, I enjoy where I go, and because of her, I can handle unexpected developments.

So I don't want to go without her. Not even to Calgary! Or Paris.

I know I have had some fun over calling her my girlfriend, which she is, was and has been. Once in the senior bowling league, I told my teammates, who know me well because they arre also neighbors, that "Next Thursday my girfriend and I are sneaking off to Paris." Someone not on my team wanted to know, "Does your wife know about this?" "Paris: and "sneak" raised all kinds of wild ideas. I could not help but reply, "Yes, she does." Next question, "Well what does she think of your going to Paris." I had to tell the truth, "She thinks it is a good idea. She has wanted to go there for years. We are really looking forward to it." And I strung it along from there.

PS Judy, you know where the hike is that she missed. The Whaleback.
Truly one of the great ones. It is more fun than the Iceline! But the Iceline is the trail for adventure, like sleet storms!

My husband and I frequently travel separately, for both work and pleasure. I love India, he is not interested. He loves hiking, I don't. I've done a lot of business travel all over the place, he does research in Missouri.

But we also vacation together (and with our daughter, though now she's old enough not to want to be with us).


best regards,
Deirdré Straughan

http://www.straughan.com

As I responded on the other thread: most married men do not like to travel alone. Period. I travel for business and sometimes stay an extra day to see the sights. But that is about my limit.

I am sorry to say it about myself and my gender but: Men need nurturing, just as babies do.

How many formerly attached men do you know who are happy to be living solo --None, I warrant.

How many formerly attached women do you know who are contented and fulfilled, even though they might prefer to be with someone -- Lots!

(My flak jacket is now in place so fire away, readers.)

tedgale, no need for a flak jacket, but I do take mild issue with your assertion that ALL married men don't like traveling alone. No one person can speak for ALL men. I might agree with MANY and perhaps MOST, if pushed hard.

Done at the right time and for a reasonable duration, traveling alone can be positve for the individual and the relationship as a whole.

It is not for everybody, but can be very satisfying for the right few.

I've added 2-5 days of personal travel on to business travel of similar (or shorter) duration. Liked it quite a bit, but it was during a time in my life when I was building my "travel confidence" skills. I'm 51 now, and there are scarcely any places I want to go THAT bad that I wouldn't wait until a time that best suited my wife (my work situation is more flexible than hers).

On a partly related/partly unrelated note, the "first Fodorites' trip (Italy, September 2001) was one on which I went without her (but not solo - - there were a total of seven of us. And if she didn't really want to go, and the situation was right to plan and lead another one, I would still do that without her, if it suited her.

We still have some hopes of a trip in May (might be "Fodorites", might not be as we might have enough friends/family interested to "fill up" such a trip). I could see that going either way (i.e., solo with Fodorites, or as a couple with Fodorites, or as a couple with friends and family).

Best wishes,

Rex

I often add a day or two of personal time to business trips in interesting locations. I also have taken solo trips for a week or so when my spouse was not interested in going or could not get away from work.

Life is short. In today's busy world, waiting for agreement on locations or timing often means you miss out on opportunities. I also think you don't have to be joined at the hip on all travel matters in order to have a great relationship.

Life is short and unpredictable. Travel solo if you wish, it's best for folks who don't wish to travel with their spouses. That final trip will be the big solo anyway.

I, a married male for 40 years, enjoy travel on my own from time to time. We also like and look forward to our travels together. Generally when traveling solo it is in the off season and I stay in much cheaper places and eat and spent more time i pubs meeting local people. After about 10 days I look forward to returning home and being with my wife. After all, by that time I have run out of clean clothers and I always bring something home for my spouse.

<b>Travelwhirls</b>:

<i>That final trip will be the big solo anyway.</i>

So true!

<b>Roger</b>:

<i>spent more time i pubs meeting local people</i>

I think there are some situations that one can experience differently if one is alone compared with the experience one has with a companion.

For example, when we were staying in an apartment in Budapest in September 2004, we noticed men playing cards and chess at tables in a nearby park. They were older men, and I imagine they were retired, as they were socializing at times at which many people would have been working.

I found these scenes of men spending time with each other rather charming. If I had been a man, I think I might have been able to join one of these groups for a while, sit with them, watch their game, and try to converse with them a little, inspite of the language barrier that we almost certainly would have encountered.

As it was, since I was a woman, it did not occur to me to do that, because I knew my attempting it would break the spell.

Married men traveling solo: what a pitiful sight!

Married men traveling solo: what a wonderful sight!

Brookwood..you describe our relationship exactly! When we go away, we sometimes do different things..but it would be no fun without him there. As you get older I also feel you do things for each other.

Brookwood,you're a doll.

I sometimes travel solo, when I have an opportunity to see things the rest of the family isn't interested in. We also travel together frequently. We share many, but not all, of our interests, and have found the occasional solo trip to be worthwhile.