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Anyone else have to resort to traveling alone?

Anyone else have to resort to traveling alone?

Dec 9th, 2002, 07:03 PM
  #1  
Solo
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Anyone else have to resort to traveling alone?

My wife is a small town girl in a rural area and does not like to travel to Europe. I am close to being obsessed with travel and so I travel alone once or twice a year. Any ideas about how to handle this? (She has gone on two trips to Europe before and is too stressed to really enjoy it.) She understands my needs to travel, but would rather I just stay at home and be happy.
 
Dec 9th, 2002, 07:59 PM
  #2  
Greta Garbo
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In the words of Greta Garbo, I want to be alone. I prefer to travel solo so can not sympathize with your situation. Everyone should pursue their passion. Tell your wife I will see you in two weeks and send her post cards while in Europe. Enjoy your travels.
 
Dec 9th, 2002, 08:20 PM
  #3  
getanewwife
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As above, get a new wife or just plan on going alone. There is nothing worse than a bad travel comnpanion, no matter how much you love him/her.
 
Dec 9th, 2002, 08:27 PM
  #4  
xxx
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Half-empty, true. And sorry. But look at the half-full part; at least she understands your need to travel. Imagine if you had a wife who was happy at home but also didn't want you to travel.
 
Dec 9th, 2002, 08:42 PM
  #5  
Lisa
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You're better off going alone than dragging along someone who will be miserable. If you really don't enjoy solo travel, perhaps you have a friend or a relative who would be interested in traveling with you. I have a friend who's in a similar situation to yours in that her husband does not like to travel. She met a lady at work, a divorced mom, who has become her great traveling companion, since they share the same interests. You might also consider a small group trip as another alternative.
 
Dec 9th, 2002, 09:48 PM
  #6  
xxx
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It sounds like John is fine travelling alone but not happy with his wife's reaction. Are we supposed to vote on whether or not he should divorce her? Good grief.
 
Dec 9th, 2002, 10:31 PM
  #7  
Dr. Malfi
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Do you want validation for leaving your wife? It sounds like you two have different interests and goals in life, so compromise as best you can. Don't give up what you love, everyone has their own life to live whether you are in a marriage or not. Life is not a dress rehearsal.
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 02:58 AM
  #8  
Rex
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Traveling with a small group may be the alternative you are seeking.

Check out

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/differentgrouptravelagenda

and

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/travelcheap2000

I am a member of the first group, but it is early in its formative stage, and has not active plans on the drawing board for a trip anytime soon.

The second group is actively seeking interested participants for a trip to Sicily in April or May 2003. They intend to use a tour company.

I am not a member of that group.

Best wishes,

Rex
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 03:52 AM
  #9  
Jim Rosenberg
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Solo, it's just one of those things. But many people who travel alone don't consider it "resorting" to traveling that way. The advantages include cost and not having the need to compromise very much, if at all. If your wife understands your need to travel, then there's no more that can really be asked of her.
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 04:12 AM
  #10  
david west
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I prefer to travel alone. That way I can do exactly what I want when I want.

I also find that if one is a gregarious sort of chap one soon meets other folk to talk and interact with which is nice for the company.
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 04:19 AM
  #11  
Sue
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Solo, would your wife be happier staying in a European 'homebase' somewhere while you went further afield? For example, she could stay in a small, low-stress place like Salzburg while you went off on short jaunts to Vienna, Munich, etc., returning to Salzburg in between jaunts. (I'm sure we could find an English speaking gasthaus owner who would be happy to have a quiet guest stay with her for a week or two, and could make your wife feel more 'at home.')In this way the two of you compromise a little - she needn't feel you're ever too far away, for too long, and while she would not be at home, she would be more 'at home' than if she were on the road, exposed to a level of stimulation that she personally finds stressful.

I grant, you would have to manage costs carefully, but it could be done for not an exorbitant sum. What do you think?

 
Dec 10th, 2002, 04:19 AM
  #12  
single
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I guess I shouldnt be giving marriage advice since i have never been married. But i do have a way with manipulating people for their own good. (yes, im one of "those"). I can imagine the culture shock someone from a small town would feel going to a new and fairly unusual country. i know its always a change of pace to go somewhere new even for a weathered traveller.
If you dont mind, my suggestion is as follows:
get some nice travel magazines, say NatGeo Traveller or Conde Nast. Leave them out for your wife to look at, them bring them up in casual conversation. This is the important part - get a feel for what she might be interested in, preferably something not too far from home, a new city on the other side of the country or maybe even canada or mexico, something like that. Then begin your planning - you'll need an excuse, any anniversary, birthday, holiday will do. You must be very deliberate and detail conscious because you definitely dont want something to go wrong! that would just burn her forever. Plan things she would enjoy - like a nice candlelit dinner in a posh restaurant vice maybe bungee jumping. Keep her needs and wants in mind at all times. This is the weening period. Then, once all the details are taken care of, every minute planned (you must take control and preferably have as many things pre-staged as possible so nothing will go wrong. If you look like you know what you are doing, she will feel more comfortable following you and trusting your judgement). Then, "Surprise" her with your plan of attack. If you have to, compromise on something. Tell her you will go to that boring play she has been dying to go to or that you will cook for her for a week. something that lets her know she is not the only one giving in. hopefully everything goes as planned and she will have a good experience. i believe travelling well is an acquired talent, one which comes not without a few mishaps and more than one horror story. But the bottom line is that most of us in the know are willing to take those risks, because in the end it is always worth it. Prove that to her and she will follow you to the end of the world.
Trust me, I'm a Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps and it is my job to make people do things they would rather not do - every day of my life. Making them follow you willingly shuld always be a priority.
If not, tie em up with 550 cord and throw them in the back of the truck. They'll go.
Semper and Godspeed!
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 04:23 AM
  #13  
k
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Hi Solo,

I agree that traveling alone is not "resorting"! I like traveling by myself. I can do what I want on my own schedule, and not worry about anyone else. Even when I go to England with my boyfriend next month, we have already agreed that I am going to tour around myself quite a bit, because he has been there before and doesn't want to do all the "touristy stuff".

I understand your issue though. I think you should just continue to travel alone. Just make sure you talk to you wife about it, so she understands this is something you have to do to be happy. Relationships are about compromise - and I firmly believe that each person in a couple has to have some interests or hobbies to do on their own. I'm sure she does some things that don't involve you, right? This keeps relationships healthy.

Another thought, also, along with Sue's thoughts. What doesn't she like about Europe? Big cities? Foreign languages? Flying? Depending on the answer to this, maybe you can try to tailor a vacation that would address that issue. For example, if she doesn't like big cities, take her to the south of France or the Cotswolds or Tuscany, and rent a cottage in a small town. If she hates to fly, how about touring around the US or Canada or even Mexico by car or train? You get the idea. You can relieve your travel itch without stressing her out or leaving her home.

But again, I like to travel by myself, and I see nothing wrong with you doing so if she doesn't want to.

Good luck!
Karen
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 09:52 AM
  #14  
topping
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for Solo
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 10:03 AM
  #15  
Solotoo
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Hi Solo,
Dump her and marry me. I will go anywhere in the world and love every minute of it.
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 12:07 PM
  #16  
jim
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ttt for solo
 
Dec 10th, 2002, 01:16 PM
  #17  
travellady
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Why not travel somewhere other than Europe, you just said she doesn't like Europe. What about Latin America? Caribbean? South Pacific? Asia? Ask her what her dream trip would be.
 
Dec 11th, 2002, 09:25 AM
  #18  
raisa
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ttt for me
 
Dec 13th, 2002, 11:56 AM
  #19  
top
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up up up
 
Dec 13th, 2002, 12:28 PM
  #20  
xxx
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Go with Rex. That should cure you!
 

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