I was just reading through these posts and it seems like many of you remark that the solo trips are "your" trips.

Do you consider yourselves loners in other aspects of your lives? Or just when you travel?

I love traveling and will travel solo if it works out that way but I would rather compromise a little in my plans in order to have a friend with me.

Just wondering about your thoughts on this.

Interesting question.

I wouldn't say I'm a "loner", but I am definitely "independent". I love to be around people, but I don't really like having other people control what I do (which is why I do the planning).

There are many things that I do that I prefer to have a companion along such as eating out at a nice restaurant, going to the lake or river, etc.

There are also many things that I prefer to do alone such as going to the movies, shopping and traveling.

I think for me, it's the difference between wanting the interaction (such as playing at the lake) more than "accomplishing" (such as shopping or watching a movie). I don't have to do it alone, but I find I am more satisfied with the results when I do it alone.

Nope, I wouldn't call myself a "loner". To me that implies avoiding interaction with other people. That's not true, I have many close friends.

Basically for me the main determining factor is that I am single, not married, no kids. So that is my life, every day, not just for traveling.

The rest depends on the particular friend in question & how compatible our travel styles are. I'm happily willing to compromise about specific daily activities on a trip, for example, but can't stand to travel with someone who is a worry-wart or nervous nelly about every little thing along the way.

I'm not a loner. I have a very people intensive job (HR VP) and enjoy spending time with family and friends. I love traveling with my daughters but also like my solo trips. Sometimes I connect with people for part of my trip. I used to travel with a friend. When I tried my first solo trip it was incredibly free-ing. I don't refuse to travel with anyone else. I just don't wait for someone else to want to go with me.

I prefer solo travel and I'm certainly not a loner. I have a very visible management position and interact almost excessively on a daily basis. I love to travel with my family and consider family travel before solo travel when structuring my vacation days.
However, I'm not a conversational kind of guy. It's just not one of my strengths. It's a necessity. So I deeply appreciate those solo opportunities that allow me to escape the demands that are...maybe a social burden?
Solo travel allows me to escape from that.

Such interesting answers, thank you, you have made me think. I looked up loner on wikipedia:

"Loner is a label for a person who shuns human interaction for a variety of reasons. These reasons can range from a lack of certain social skills (such as people with Asperger's Syndrome), misanthropy, excessive rejection from others, to a simple desire to be with oneself. A common psychological term used to describe the personality of loners is introversion. Some individuals refuse to interact with others because of perceived superiority. They wish to only relate to individuals they consider worthy of their time and attention. Therefore, a loner will have very few intimate relationships. Many feel anxious in their presence because they perceive the loner's disdain towards them. It is also common for people to believe them to be arrogant and egotistical.

Related to the above is the socializing aspect of a loner: focusing on certain traits, some loners socialize greater with people in whom they can confide.

Unfortunately it takes time for this bond to occur and when someone unknown to a loner enters the social group, the loner will automatically shell up. Seeming shy or insecure, most loners can only socialize with people they see constantly. This is in part due to the fact that many loners are overly self-conscious and believe people are constantly sizing up their attributes.

While expressing a desire to be alone most of the time, loners do not necessarily shun human interaction completely. An example would be the person who shuns any social interaction with work colleagues beyond what is necessary for fulfilling his or her job description (mainly for practical reasons and to avoid further complicating one’s professional relationships) but who is actually fun and extroverted during parties or social gatherings with people outside work.

The term loner is usually used with a negative connotation in the belief that humans are social creatures and those that do not participate are different, though in some cases there is a certain romanticism in the idea of the Loner, or "Lone Wolf" (see The Lone Ranger) since he or she is seen as special and unique. The loner may take great pride in his or her behavior."

Holy Smokes Sea! Should we create a new forum for The Psychology of Travel?!
That's a lot of words to categorize someone that happens to prefer to not have another monopolize his or her precious travel time!

SeaUrchin - from the responses given, I don't see any of the posters as "loners" as defined.

Rather, I think that the majority travel alone because then they can actually travel.

To me, my traveling preferences would be:

1. traveling with the perfect companion
2. traveling with a really compatible companion
3. traveling alone
4. traveling with a less than ideal companion
5. traveling with an incompatible person

There are some solo travelers (it sounds like you're in this category) whose preference would be:

1. traveling with the perfect companion
2. traveling with a really compatible companion
3. traveling with a less than ideal companion
4. traveling alone
5. traveling with an incompatible person

It's that 3 and 4 that get switched. Some people would even put "traveling alone" after "traveling with an incompatible person", but you won't find them on this board.

No, my list would be like yours. I have spent enough time with incompatible people and would never knowingly travel with someone like that again. I have found that someone who used to be compatible may change over the years and then you are not on the same wave length any more.

I thought of this thread when someone said I was a loner when I told them I was going to the beach by myself tomorrow. I hadn't thought that it was a strange thing to do but when the lady I talked more I found out that it would never even occur to her to drive 20 miles to a beach by herself for the day.

I don't think I am a loner but I think I lean that way.

Cheers!

Now that I have finished my hot choco I think my list is like yours but I would delete #'s 4 and 5 and I think you would too!

Life is too short!

I would only do #4 or #5 if they superglued me to the person - otherwise I'd be running the other way!

I still think of it more as being "independent" than being a "loner".

Independent:
1 : not dependent: as a (1) : not subject to control by others : SELF-GOVERNING (2) : not affiliated with a larger controlling unit <an independent bookstore> b (1) : not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent <an independent conclusion> (2) : not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct (3) : not bound by or committed to a political party c (1) : not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood) <independent of her parents>

That's a good list, toed. Except I'd strike #1 because the "perfect companion" doesn't exist in the real world. And at the bottom I'd add "traveling with a companion randomly assigned by a tour or cruise operator." While it's possible that the "roommate roulette wheel" will produce a very compatible companion, the very real risk of playing that game (along with the need to play it as an alternative to paying a punitive "supplement&quot makes it the least desirable option.

Whether I'm a "loner" is another matter. I'm definitely not comfortable in large crowds (especially crowds of families and couples when I'm traveling solo), and I'm not one of those people who enjoys mingling at a party where I know nobody. But I enjoy spending time with friends, and certainly prefer traveling with a friend than alone. But I reluctantly travel alone most of the time because of the difficulty of coordinating schedules, interest, and availability with my friends. How do you label that?

I think we are the kind of people who think of something we'd like to do, and then go do it. If someone (who we choose to be with) wants to join us (on our terms) great. If not, there's no problem just going alone.

Do you go to a movie alone? A play? A concert? A restaurant? To London? If those are things I want to do, I'll just go. I may call my duaghter, my sister, a friend... if they don't want to go it's not going to keep me from going.

I guess the word loner suggests the person whom the neighbors talk to the tv station about after they have done something very odd, lol. Seems like they always say, "I don't know...he was a loner....kept to himself..." Then the reporter and the reportee turn and look at the house and shake their heads.

Yes, I like the independent description better and to me that includes what you suggest, Grasshopper.

JB, I agree. I also think it is a shame that singles have to pay more to be so.

I have a friend who really couldn't afford the supplement and had to take the roulette risk of which companion on a river cruise. She ended up with a woman who smelled of dried urine and got drunk every single night.

Hello SeaUrchin, I certainly would not consider you a loner and I would not consider toedtoes one either. I would consider both of you independent and joyous women. The first thought that came to mind is that neither of you are "needy". And yes you may take that as a compliment!!

I believe that both of you enjoy time to yourselves partially due to your occupations. With my business there was nothing I relished more than quiet time in my auto with just some music for company. My home was as busy and active as our business so time to myself was a luxury. Even though I am now retired I still like some time to myself. As you both know that is why I like my new place as it has a perfect size patio that is completely private. A nice "hideaway".

Toedtoes, my travelling preferences are the first three on your list. Having done it there is no way I will ever again travel with someone who would not meet me at least half way regarding travel styles etc.

And to be a good travel companion I will always have my own hotel room so that I can recoup and regroup..and take a nice long bubblebath..all without worrying about being inconsiderate to my travel partner.

SeaUrchin, a day by yourself at the beach sounds perfect to me. I hope you are there now as I write this..enjoy every blissful moment.

Wishing all a relaxing Memorial Day Weekend!

JB - I'd say you're a solo traveler by default whereas I'm a solo traveler by choice.

I don't do tours because I don't like giving up that much control to others (especially strangers), so I wouldn't have thought to add that to the list - but it's a good one, that would be yucky.

LoveItaly - My Mom used to take yearly trips to the Mormon Library in SLC for research with a geneology group. She always shared a room with the same friend, but my Mom was a night person and her friend was a morning person. My Mom would spend 3-4 hours reading by flashlight at night so as not to disturb her friend. I always think maybe the extra money for a single room would have been worthwhile...

Loner definitely has a negative social connotation. It does not just mean a welll-adjusted individual who happens to be alone by most people's definition.

I much prefer to think of myself as independent and competent...
;-)

and would say I travel solo equally by default and by choice.

I normally don't like tours for the reason you noted. Sometimes a tour can have advantages, but "independent" is nearly always the most cost-effective way to go if you lack a travel companion. I tried a cruise earlier this month (after years of nagging from my parents who love cruising), but I didn't find the sociability I had been led to expect. I suspect bad luck was involved, since as far as I could tell I was the only singleton on the entire ship full of couples, families, and large groups. I'm glad I did it, though.

"Loner" definitely has negative connotations. But I wish I could think of a word for a happy, independent single person that had positive connotations. There doesn't seem to be one, although there is a whole thesaurus full of pejoratives for people who aren't living in a "traditional family."

I'd also say that I travel solo both by default and choice-- simultaneously. I choose to travel solo rather than staying home for lack of a travel companion!

JB Hapgood, Suze, and others on this thread who, like me, are independent and happy solo travelers-
I am also just bored and sick of the "negative social implications" of those of us who travel and are happy to have adventures and new experiences unnaccompanied. I think it's time we all got togther to create a NEW word for solo travelers that more accurately descibes our rich collective experience of travel!
As a person who has been purposfully traveling solo for years, I have good social skills and find it's very easy to make friends with people I meet on my trips. I have also traveled with friends and or family, but I've found that I have much more memorable times if I do things independantly and bring the stories home to them later! I'm also a little impatient with the discussions and logistics that always seem to go with group travel ( when people spend valuable distination time hashing over what to do, when to do it, and have a hard time coming to decisions), because I love to travel light and be able to change plans on the spot if I feel like it. Does that mean I'm a "wierd" person in society? Maybe, but I'm a happy wierdo!
Pretty soon I'll be taking an extended trip, and will spend part of it traveling with family and friends, and another part on my own. Guess which part feels more like work, and which part feels more like pleasure?