At the risk of being banished to "the lounge," I've noticed that many people here in the Europe forum cite not having kids as a factor in being able to travel frequently. I think I'm one of these people -- I'm in my mid-30's with no emotional impulse to be a mother, nor the desire to put the necessary work into raising children (although I treat my dogs like surrogates). I'm also realizing I'd like to go to Florence or Prague (pick your favorite city) regularly and I seem to enjoy traveling much more than my friends, family, or colleagues. I love the total mobility I currently have to travel internatonally with the only real logistical/emotional hurdle being the stress on the dog.

I'm a little concerned I could have regrets later on and I would love to hear feedback from people who have chosen this alternative and are a bit older. I've already dealt with people being pretty judgemental and I'm sure it will only get worse.

I know that it's not an either/or situation and that people can do both -- I've seen posts of many people taking their toddlers or teens to Italy, etc. However, I'm asking the people who don't have kids and who also travel a lot, what has your experience been with this lifestyle?

Is it wise to base this important decision on what people on a travel site think?

oops posted too soon. I dont mean to sound terse but this should end up a "good" discussion, I can feel it, lol.

It's just one perpsective I'd be interested in hearing from (trust me, all sorts of people in my life share their opinions with me on this question of not having kids, whether I ask them or not...)

I'll throw in my tuppence. I'm quite a bit older than you so the judgments were probably a lot worse back than than they are now.

It's YOUR life & frankly, if like me you don't want children, do them a favor & enjoy the life you chose to the limit. Too many parents should not have become parents but did so anyway. If you'd rather be free to travel or whatever else, you're the only one paying your bills so nobody's opinions on YOUR life should enter into the equation.

If it's your parents putting the pressure on, that's tougher but still they chose the road they wanted. You should be able to do the same.

If you don't want them, don't have them. I'll bet there are more people who regret having them (if you forced them to tell the truth) than not having them...

I think this should definitely go into the lounge. It might be an interesting discussion and what people want to read about, or vent about their own situation, but no one can tell someone else whether they will regret or not having children. I certainly hope you won't decide based on someone else's tastes! I think most people who decide this, don't do it just for travel reasons (I hope not). Some people don't really have a choice, either, and I am of the opinion that to be happy, you have to realize that all lifestyles have their advantages and disadvantages, and appreciate the ones you have in order to not be miserable -- assuming you cannot change things, which you sometimes cannot.

Can you really just decide this on your own based on your ideas about travel? I don't know anyone in that situation who can totally choose just based on what they want.

I am not a Mom but that decision had nothing to do with my love of travel. Two different subjects imo. Though it does make it easier (to travel when you don't have a family depending on you).

Please don't misunderstand -- my question is what is the "no kids + travels a lot" lifestyle like?

I think I should have written, "No Kids AND going to Europe regularly," rather than "but going to Europe regularly".

This might be too personal of a question...

Fishee...

You have posed an interesting question. I am in a similar situation as you, except I am in my late 30's

I have plenty of friends with children and when these friends hear I am packing my bags for another trip I get the "it must be nice" repsonse from them. It is nice for me since I don't have children who I have to clothe and feed and educate but that is my choice and I don't regret this decision and won't ever regret it.

I have a very good friend 20 years older than me. She and her husband do not have any children and they travel extensively throughout the year (being budget minded with their travels) and they have never regreted their decision not to have children.

Again, it all comes down to personal choice.

I will be very intested in seeing what others have to say on this subject.

Not the question you asked, but I'm in the (apparently unusual) situation of have having children and still traveling more than just about everybody else I know, kids or no kids.

If you like to travel then you'll find a way. You needn't trade one for the other. And you don't need a reason to forego having children.

I have relatives with kids who travel to Europe (and Disney and elsewhere). If you want children, have them. If not, then that is a different issue than travelling. Many people do both.

I made the choice not to have children 25 years ago. It wasn't because of my desire to travel.
But one thing that I had to tell myself then was "if you make this decision, don't whine about it later; it will be too late." Some pages of life cannot be re-written.

<<my question is what is the "no kids + travels a lot" lifestyle like?>>

Fishee, those two things alone do not define a "lifestyle" imo. You can have no children and travel alot and find yourself... successful or unsuccessful in your work, fulfilled or unfulfilled in your love life, rich or poor, happy or sad, etc. See what I mean?

I see what you're saying but the most duanting aspect of having children, for me, is the responsibilty and the huge shift in life-style that it demands. On an average income, I don't think anyone would deny how much sacrifice it entails (however high the emotional gratification) -- in time, energy, money, and of course, self-interest.

It seems like traveling for pleasure (vs. obligation) would be one of the first things to go. It takes my friends hours to just get out of the house with their kids to get to a grocery store. I don't know how people can take young kids to Italy but clearly, some people on this board are able to do it. Is it wealth or attitude that makes this possible?

Fishee, I think you and I have a lot in common. I love children, especially my neices and nephews, yet I have no burning desire to be a parent. I can't explain my reasons for not wanting kids, but one reason is the major lifestyle change, as you mentioned. I also love travel, and that would be one thing that would go out the window, at least for a few years. Of course, there are other factors to consider.

I am 43 years old and at this point I have no big regrets. However there are days when I wonder if 20 years from now, maybe I will be sorry to be childless. I just can't predict how I will feel about it at this point.

And like you, fishee, I do stress out about leaving my dog when I travel. Good luck with your decision.

One major issue is if the child's other parent will be a full participant in all aspects of parenting. (I'm presuming you aren't asking about being a single parent.) Some people have a knack for marshalling the forces and rarely get caught out spending hours getting to the grocery store, and much depends on the kids too.

Hi F,

It's ATTITUDE !!!! Whether it's beating breast cancer like my loving wife, taking children to Europe like we did or simply going to the local grocery store. Life IS attitude.

>>>>>>
I don't know how people can take young kids to Italy but clearly, some people on this board are able to do it. Is it wealth or attitude that makes this possible?
>>>>>

millions of people travel with children. i don't know why you are so hung up on european travel (or italy). there is nothing magical about europe that makes it impossible with children. what do you think we do here in europe? people here have children and we travel (both within europe and outside). we have friends in china who fly over to visit us here in london every 2 or 3 months, they bring their 3 year old. they often stop here and then continue on in europe...france, italy, germany, etc.

as for people in this forum citing not having kids as the factor for being 'able' to travel to europe, this is silly. people need to justify their life decisions and so being able to travel to europe is just part of this. some people are smug in their "i have no kids but look at all i can do attitude". such attitudes belie a discomfort with not having children. in fact, you can travel to/within europe with or without children (as millions of people do). if you choose not to have children, this is a fine choice if it is the right one for you. however, don't fool yourself into thinking that it's one or the other or be tempted to use european travel as a justification for not having children. there may be many other reasons for a person choosing not to have children but this is not one of them.