Destination weddings ruining your own travel plans?
May 9th, 2006 | 11:49 AM
#102
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 10
Likes: 0
You're right Scarlett...I guess I became "highly" emotional myself 
I've actually read dozens of threads for various reasons and enjoyed everyone's responses in general. Most of the people seem to genuinely want to help others and do so in a mature fashion. I guess I got so use to seeing helpful threads that I was a little dismayed to see what I've seen here. Don't get me wrong, no one was extremely offensive; I was just use to seeing the opposite. This website is by far one of my favorites.
I've actually read dozens of threads for various reasons and enjoyed everyone's responses in general. Most of the people seem to genuinely want to help others and do so in a mature fashion. I guess I got so use to seeing helpful threads that I was a little dismayed to see what I've seen here. Don't get me wrong, no one was extremely offensive; I was just use to seeing the opposite. This website is by far one of my favorites.
May 17th, 2006 | 05:00 PM
#108
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 11
Likes: 0
My fiance and I are doing a destination wedding this August in Maui. We've been together for seven years and have attended countless weddings together, and just don't see the traditional wedding as the right "fit" for us. We don't want to have attendants (we would have a hard time deciding and are worried peoples' feelings might be hurt), we don't like the traditions that are "required" at weddings (I hide in the bathroom during the bouquet toss), and we both wanted something different and unique that would feel right for us. I went to Maui a few years ago and saw a wedding party having an after-wedding dinner at Nick's Fishmarket and turned to my mom with tears in my eyes, FINALLY knowing the kind of ceremony that was right for us. My fiance was immediately drawn to the idea and we haven't been able to look back since. It is so "us" and our friends and family agree completely.
We made it fairly clear from the start that this was an event for immediate family only....not to exclude anyone, but to prevent people from feeling that they needed to try and finance such a venture AND to keep the ceremony more intimate for us. As someone else mentioned, though, aren't ALL weddings "destination weddings" these days? The past three Christmases I've spent traveling around the country to weddings of my friends....I don't see how our wedding is any less intrusive. Actually, I hope that by doing two dinners afterwards (our parents live in different states), everyone can feel like they had a chance to celebrate with us and not feel the obligation to break their budget to come to Hawaii.
As others have said, this is really a personal decision that each couple should make based on their own situation. If you're going to spend a lot of time and money preparing for a wedding, shouldn't it be something that the couple is excited about and the right "fit" for them?
Christy, I think you have every right to decline the invitation with a completely clear conscious. A couple planning a destination wedding has to realize that many people will not have the time or money to attend. However, I think the couple has a right to plan a ceremony that is memorable and enjoyable for them......what works for one does not necessarily work for all. Let's all try to respect that not everyone has the same background or perspective on this issue.
We made it fairly clear from the start that this was an event for immediate family only....not to exclude anyone, but to prevent people from feeling that they needed to try and finance such a venture AND to keep the ceremony more intimate for us. As someone else mentioned, though, aren't ALL weddings "destination weddings" these days? The past three Christmases I've spent traveling around the country to weddings of my friends....I don't see how our wedding is any less intrusive. Actually, I hope that by doing two dinners afterwards (our parents live in different states), everyone can feel like they had a chance to celebrate with us and not feel the obligation to break their budget to come to Hawaii.
As others have said, this is really a personal decision that each couple should make based on their own situation. If you're going to spend a lot of time and money preparing for a wedding, shouldn't it be something that the couple is excited about and the right "fit" for them?
Christy, I think you have every right to decline the invitation with a completely clear conscious. A couple planning a destination wedding has to realize that many people will not have the time or money to attend. However, I think the couple has a right to plan a ceremony that is memorable and enjoyable for them......what works for one does not necessarily work for all. Let's all try to respect that not everyone has the same background or perspective on this issue.
May 25th, 2006 | 08:54 AM
#109
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 282
Likes: 0
Interesting article in USA Today about the "extension" of weddings to 3 day events. It reminded me of this thread
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifesty...weddings_x.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifesty...weddings_x.htm
May 25th, 2006 | 10:24 AM
#110
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,785
Likes: 0
Hi,
As others said, most weddings are destination weddings for someone these days.
I;m in my mid-30s, DBF and I will probably get married next year. Where to have the wedding? In DC, where we live, so our families and friends in other states we've lived in have to travel? In NH, where our families are but none of our friends?
We decided on a backyard BBQ at my DBF's parents' house in the country of NH. My friends down here are looking forward to road trip and a stay in a cute B&B!
As others said, most weddings are destination weddings for someone these days.
I;m in my mid-30s, DBF and I will probably get married next year. Where to have the wedding? In DC, where we live, so our families and friends in other states we've lived in have to travel? In NH, where our families are but none of our friends?
We decided on a backyard BBQ at my DBF's parents' house in the country of NH. My friends down here are looking forward to road trip and a stay in a cute B&B!
May 26th, 2006 | 08:21 AM
#111
Original Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,299
Likes: 0
Wow, I can't believe what I started! I actually considered my problem solved when people said don't go and don't feel guilty. Though I still disagree with the "every wedding is a destination wedding" idea-there's a huge difference between a destination you can drive to for a weekend, or a city with a wide variety of accomodations, and Hawaii/the Caribbean/other resort-type places that are so popular for weddings.
But anyway, since it's still going, I thought this letter to Carolyn Hax's advice column was an interesting twist on the whole thing (it's about the 3rd one down)-what happens when the wedding is called off but the guests have booked their trips?
http://tinyurl.com/oohlx
But anyway, since it's still going, I thought this letter to Carolyn Hax's advice column was an interesting twist on the whole thing (it's about the 3rd one down)-what happens when the wedding is called off but the guests have booked their trips?
http://tinyurl.com/oohlx
