Destination wedding
Mar 28th, 2007, 04:39 PM
#41
With all due respect, maria, I think there's more than one way to look at it. I fought tooth and nail with my domineering mother before my wedding. She wanted this, I wanted that, and I must've wailed more than once, "This is MY wedding, not yours!"
Well, the long and the short of it is that we ended up having, for us, the perfect wedding. 35 years later, neither my husband or I has been to a better one yet.
And a big, fat reason for the success of that day (in addition to the details on which my mother and I compromised -- and didn't compromise!) was the fact that we were were celebrating with so many people whom we loved. The guests -- all of them -- do make a difference!
Well, the long and the short of it is that we ended up having, for us, the perfect wedding. 35 years later, neither my husband or I has been to a better one yet.
And a big, fat reason for the success of that day (in addition to the details on which my mother and I compromised -- and didn't compromise!) was the fact that we were were celebrating with so many people whom we loved. The guests -- all of them -- do make a difference!
Mar 28th, 2007, 04:42 PM
#42
Ag, you put it more succinctly than I.
The way I see it, too, is that a wedding is, essentially, a BIG party...and I, for one, wouldn't have much fun at a party that centered around the host and not around the guests!
The way I see it, too, is that a wedding is, essentially, a BIG party...and I, for one, wouldn't have much fun at a party that centered around the host and not around the guests!
Mar 28th, 2007, 05:14 PM
#43
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Lucie V, I take your point and I agree with you - if that is what you want to remember about your wedding and what is important to you for your wedding, then great! You should have it with family and friends. Still, it's all about you as a couple and what you want to remember about your wedding but to say it's about family and friends, I still think that should not be the case. It has to be about you as a couple and what is important to you. If family and friends there, big wedding and all that is important, then great. However, there are a few out there that sees their wedding as something else. So if this couple wants to have a destination wedding and that is how they want to remember their wedding, then that should be what they do because I IS about them. they are the ones who will have that memory that is special to them. It cannot be more special to friends and family than the couple itself - it is their wedding.
Mar 28th, 2007, 05:38 PM
#44
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ooops, trigger finger. i also meant to add.
I agree going to a party where it is all about the host wouldn't be a fun one but I don't see the wedding as a big party. I see it as a ceremony that means something. The words spoken, the vows taken, and where you are too, is important.
If you want a big party to celebrate with friends and family who possibly won't be able to come to your destination wedding, then have one when you return. I bet that you can concentrate more on your guests even more. My point is, consider what is important to you for your wedding and don't worry about family and friends. In the end, it won't be as important to them as it will be to you as a couple.
..and i don't think at all that having a big wedding with family and friends is wrong. It just bothered me that obviously this couple wants a destination wedding and to be told "it's not about you, it's about them" just doesn't sit right. It's almost like anyone telling you that having a big wedding with family and friends is wrong.
I agree going to a party where it is all about the host wouldn't be a fun one but I don't see the wedding as a big party. I see it as a ceremony that means something. The words spoken, the vows taken, and where you are too, is important.
If you want a big party to celebrate with friends and family who possibly won't be able to come to your destination wedding, then have one when you return. I bet that you can concentrate more on your guests even more. My point is, consider what is important to you for your wedding and don't worry about family and friends. In the end, it won't be as important to them as it will be to you as a couple.
..and i don't think at all that having a big wedding with family and friends is wrong. It just bothered me that obviously this couple wants a destination wedding and to be told "it's not about you, it's about them" just doesn't sit right. It's almost like anyone telling you that having a big wedding with family and friends is wrong.
Mar 28th, 2007, 05:46 PM
#46
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This has been discussed a lot on this board, and I don't think any opinions have been changed. But, having said that,
I don't like destinations unless the couple or a family member can afford to foot the bill for the guests to travel to the destination and pay for their vacation.
Otherwise, the opportunity to join the couple in the celebration of their wedding is limited to those who can afford to take a trip and/or have the vacation time to take the trip and/or have the resources to take care of kids/ dogs/ family members who are not able to travel.
No matter how it is presented, that limiting seems selfish to me. It IS a bit refreshing to hear someone admit on this thread that a destination wedding WAS designed to limit attendence.
IMO the couple should just elope and have the ceremony at their vacation destination and have a reception for their friends, family and loved ones upon their return, or have a ceremonly where friends, family and loved ones can attend without added expense or difficulty and then go on a honeymoon to a vacation destination.
To limit access to friends, family and loved ones because you want a ceremony in a picturesque location just seem selfish to some of us.
I don't like destinations unless the couple or a family member can afford to foot the bill for the guests to travel to the destination and pay for their vacation.
Otherwise, the opportunity to join the couple in the celebration of their wedding is limited to those who can afford to take a trip and/or have the vacation time to take the trip and/or have the resources to take care of kids/ dogs/ family members who are not able to travel.
No matter how it is presented, that limiting seems selfish to me. It IS a bit refreshing to hear someone admit on this thread that a destination wedding WAS designed to limit attendence.
IMO the couple should just elope and have the ceremony at their vacation destination and have a reception for their friends, family and loved ones upon their return, or have a ceremonly where friends, family and loved ones can attend without added expense or difficulty and then go on a honeymoon to a vacation destination.
To limit access to friends, family and loved ones because you want a ceremony in a picturesque location just seem selfish to some of us.
Mar 29th, 2007, 04:38 AM
#47
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Boy did I stir up a storm of controversy here and all I wanted were some suggestions about locations???
Part of the reason for a destination is that they want a small intimate wedding with those truly important to them there to share in their happiness. We are a small family-the grandparents have all passed on etc. It might be a different story if either of them came from a large extended family.
The bottom line is that this is what they chose to do. My son is 30 years old and quite mature.
I do think that there is too much emphasis put on the big weddings and receptions. In and of themselves they are very stressful. Inevitably you end up inviting people to the wedding you don't care for--because they are third cousins,your colleague or the boss and you feel you have to.
It is their day and the guests who come to a wedding I would hope are there to share in their happiness. The nicest weddings I have been to are the small intimate ones. Large weddings many times become impersonal in my mind.
As a parent I am looking at the relationship the couple has. This couple get along like two peas in a pod, have similar interests, great mutual respect and love and passion are there for sure. They are a great match. This is what is truly important to me and they can have whatever wedding they want.
Part of the reason for a destination is that they want a small intimate wedding with those truly important to them there to share in their happiness. We are a small family-the grandparents have all passed on etc. It might be a different story if either of them came from a large extended family.
The bottom line is that this is what they chose to do. My son is 30 years old and quite mature.
I do think that there is too much emphasis put on the big weddings and receptions. In and of themselves they are very stressful. Inevitably you end up inviting people to the wedding you don't care for--because they are third cousins,your colleague or the boss and you feel you have to.
It is their day and the guests who come to a wedding I would hope are there to share in their happiness. The nicest weddings I have been to are the small intimate ones. Large weddings many times become impersonal in my mind.
As a parent I am looking at the relationship the couple has. This couple get along like two peas in a pod, have similar interests, great mutual respect and love and passion are there for sure. They are a great match. This is what is truly important to me and they can have whatever wedding they want.
Mar 29th, 2007, 08:35 AM
#48
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As I posted above, we were married in Hawaii. It was absolutely beautiful. What we did was get married on Oahu in a park overlooking Kaneohe Bay, then went back to our hotel and had the reception.
There were 20 or so people who went and all had a great time, but the planning was difficult and very, very time consuming. That said, it was worth it.
We did our honeymoon on Kauai afterwards.
Getting married in Hawaii does present travel issues beyond just the financial for guests, but it does simplify some things because it is a U.S. state, so no passport is needed and money exchanges have to take place.
There were 20 or so people who went and all had a great time, but the planning was difficult and very, very time consuming. That said, it was worth it.
We did our honeymoon on Kauai afterwards.
Getting married in Hawaii does present travel issues beyond just the financial for guests, but it does simplify some things because it is a U.S. state, so no passport is needed and money exchanges have to take place.
Mar 29th, 2007, 12:11 PM
#49
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Reeder,
Your response is much like my mom's when we told her we are getting married in Yosemite this August. We're really eloping and just having a big party when we get back with friends and family. We've asked only a few people to be there, those that do not mind at all footing the bill for their own trip. I'm looking forward to having the wedding that I want and wish your son and his wife get the same.
Your response is much like my mom's when we told her we are getting married in Yosemite this August. We're really eloping and just having a big party when we get back with friends and family. We've asked only a few people to be there, those that do not mind at all footing the bill for their own trip. I'm looking forward to having the wedding that I want and wish your son and his wife get the same.
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