My daughter has started courting (dating) a lad from the south of England, we live ‘up North’, and he just doesn’t get Northern Humour. This makes me wonder whether jokes fare even worse between continents and countries? In keeping with the travel theme, a radio broadcast the following (apparently) true incidents:

(i) A tourist in Rome asked why the Romans built the Coliseum as a ruin;
(ii) A tourist on being shown Stonehenge said in disbelief: “And I always thought that barb wire was invented by the Americans not the Ancient Britons!”;
(iii) A tourist in Jerusalem wanted to see where Jesus was buried.

Well they made me laugh.

And for a taster of real Northern humour, here are a few one liners from Peter Kay, the darling of the North:

1) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized, God doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to
forgive me.

2) My mum was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

5) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

6) Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

7) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour
said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'

8) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

9) Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does any of this travel? And what about some of your favourite travel jokes?

Well, steve, I grew up outside of Philadelphia in the US, and I laughed at them, especially the Peter Kay one-liners. Very funny! Thanks.

Hi steve,

Some jokes travel.

>...here are a few one liners from Peter Kay,...<

The Henny Youngman of the North?

steve it all travels, but then I'm married to an Englishman. I've mentioned before he says what he misses most living in the US, (apart from family) is the British humour. His favorite was Tommy Cooper.

One true travel story...we were stopped getting gas (petrol) outside NY and a guy at the next pump asked for help. He was English. My DH showed him how to use the pump and they started talking. It was a hot summer day with temps in the 90s. The visiting Englishman said, we had 90 degrees at home yesterday. My DH said, really????? The guy said yeah, 45 in the morning and 45 at night.

Ira -

exactly what I was thinking - they all sound exactly like Henny Youngman - and appear to be about the same age - 100 years plus?

I found them funny, Steve. For some reason the one about the fireman fighting with fire with fire struck me as particularly amusing.

Many jokes do travel well, but of course there are some that incorporate references to very particular local situations that people outside of a region wouldn't understand.

My husband and I are from South Africa, but have lived in Canada for nearly three decades. I imagine that when one is an immigrant there are some advantages to marrying a person from one's new country. I'm guessing it helps one to assimilate more thoroughly. But there also are advantages to being married to someone from one's country of origin. Although it happens only occasionally, there are those moments when my husband and I comment to each other about something we see, and we burst out laughing. There is just no way that a non-South African would be able to get the point.

Then there are regional differences even within a single country, as you've just described in your own case.

You mean Jesus was buried outside Jerusalem?

Umm,Faina..I think the 'joke' is the phrase &quot;where Jesus is <i>buried</i>&quot;... He Arose, remember?..no longer buried.

I understood all of those jokes, and they are very funny. Maybe it's nothing to do with where he's from, he just doesn't understand or share your sense of humor yet.

In my family we enjoy a very dry sense of humor. So when we say silly things in a sincere tone of voice, people outside the family don't always know we're joking. Once he's around the family long enough, he will catch on.

When the russians were considering closing the mausoleum, they were looking for a place to bury Lenin. Different countries refused to accept his body. Israel agreed, but the russians said: NO! you had one aroused already!

LOL, I laughed, Steve Thanks.

What's not travelling too well here is that I've heard of Henny Penny, but not Henny Youngman. An American comedian?

Travelnut, I assumed that FainaAgain's question was tongue-in-cheek - if so this just proves that the drier forms of humour don't travel all that well in print.

Since it's Christmas, I guess it's ok to offer a joke on Jesus and Mother Teresa. I heard it at dinner about three weeks ago.

It goes something like this....

One day, in Heaven, Jesus invites Mother Teresa to dinner. Mother Teresa figured that she would because she's never dined with Jesus. So they sit, and Jesus opens up a can of tuna, and they eat some bread.

In the meantime, Mother Teresa looks down to Hell, and everyone is happily feasting and enjoying some great meals.

The next day, Jesus asks Mother Teresa to have dinner again, and she agrees again. Tuna repeat.

This goes on for a week, and Mother Teresa is completely exasperated. She finally asks Jesus, &quot;I'm sorry, Father, but why are we eating tuna when everyone in Hell is feasting?&quot;

Jesus replies, &quot;I'm sorry. There're only two of us, and I don't feel like cooking.&quot;

Neil, here are a few Henny Youngman jokes to give you an idea of the similarity. ..

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, &quot;Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami.&quot;
She said, &quot;We can't do that!&quot; I told her, &quot;You did it last week!&quot;

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

The food on the plane was fit for a king. &quot;Here, King!&quot;



A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said &quot;Cough!&quot;

&quot;If you can invite anybody to dinner, dead or alive, who would it be?&quot;

&quot;Somebody alive!&quot;

I'm a Southener like your daughter's fella (London, to be precise) and they work for me!!

ROFL

I get the picture, Scarlett ... thanks!

A while back I read a very funny book by Joe Queenan sold here as &quot;America: Red Lobster, White Trash and the Blue Lagoon&quot;, in which the author &quot;sets out to explore the depths of shlock&quot;. What surprised me is that, despite the worldwide ubiquity of American popular culture, so many of the names he mentions were unfamiliar. Either I've led a sheltered life or mercifully we've been spared the bottom of the barrel!

&gt;heard of Henny Penny, but not Henny Youngman. &lt;

&quot;Take my wife.........please&quot;.

(It's all in the timing)

Henny Youngman is an old-time Borscht Belt comedian whose jokes were groaners even when he started telling them - about 60 years ago. I believer he;s been dead for quite a while.

Try saying this one out loud:

Have you heard about the Spanih Fireman who had twins. He called one Jose and the other Jose B.

Happy Christmas all!!