lawyer630

Sounds so romantic!!! How did you know that he was the one? And where did you meet? I am going to Florence next week to see if things could work between me and my honey. My story sounds a lot like yours. How long were you with him while you were on vacation?

lawyer630

lwinokur....it seems as if my story is also like yours.....how long have you been with your man, and how is it working? I am leaving next week for two wonderful and passionate weeks...but who knows what will happen!!!!!

mv_rd

Married an East Coast Polish-Italian cutie from CT. We have found that even the East and West Coasts are very different. I'm a SoCal girl of Mexican descent & a very traditional family but my motto growing up was & still is: traditions are meant to be broken. That hasn't worked too well with my Italian mother in law... she also has had a very hard time letting go...

l_jackson95814

Here is an update to my Florence romance. We are getting married!!! Now I have to wade through the Visa process to bring him to California. I leave on the 7th and this will be the hardest goodbye.

We met in the Piazza de Republica, he had plans with his friends, but cancelled them after seeing me and came back to see if I would talk to him. He just sat behind me on the bench and I noticed that his friends were waiting to see if he would do anything, so I talked to him first. I think I knew when he picked me up at the airport and it was like no time had passed between the two of us. This is the most comfortable I have ever been with someone. Spending 30 days together is not real life, but if we survived one friend with a bad attitude and my step-mother (wonderful person) we were ok.

Any help of advice would be much appreciated. I have no idea how to go about this.

Lawyer, now I understand your fashion questions. Good luck.

amelia_101

This is a message for l_jackson. Congratulations on your engagement, but my advice is to make it a long engagement. Keep in mind that you know one another only since April 04 and the only time that you have spent with him is while you are on vacation (which, let's face it, does not give a clear picture of what daily living together is really like). It is also quite possible that there will be cultural differences to be surpassed. The only way to really know if he is the right man for you, and you, in turn, the right woman for him is to live your lives together (day to day rountine going to work, shopping, and whatnot) and then see how the compatibility factor works in - but a wedding prior to this "test" isn't a good idea. Marrying him now so that he can get a visa to be in the US is not a wise decision unless you are prepared to sponsor him (read: be also financially responsbile for him) no matter what the circumstances be. I wish you the best.

lawyer630

To l_jackson....Congrats!!! I am happy to hear that everything is working out!!! Even though you are leaving on the 7th, I am sure that you will find a way back soon. Now you understand my situation, the fashion questions do not seem so far fetched.....Also, how many times did you visit Florence since April? I have so many other questions...I hope I am not a pain!!! I am truly happy for you and your man...

crazymina

Congrats I_Jackson! I hope for the best for you and your man...

I agree with Amelia...try and make it a long engagement. My Aussie and I have known each other since February 03 (1 yr 8 mos now) and spent quite a bit of time together. I'm still learning new things about him (as I think many couples continue to do!) Even though I adore him, marriage is not in the cards for me. Too scary (but I'm a commitment phobe!)

Have you heard of the U.S. Diversity Lotto? It IS a long shot (1 in 200 chance), but the aussie was selected for the 2005 fiscal year (which goes from Oct 2004-Sept 2005). It's a random lottery, and to enter it is very very easy. If you get selected for further processing, that's when the nuttiness begins. You've got to pray for a low enough case number, otherwise it's a false hope.

The 2006 diversity lottery opens up on November 5. The website, if you want to check it out is at

http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigra...iversity3.html

This may still be a long wait. If your fiance is chosen, it would not be until April-Jun 2005. The earliest interview he could get is Oct 2005, but it could be sometime in 2006. I realize that sounds very very far away, but it doesn't hurt to enter this thing. The nice thing about getting a greencard this way is that it will be on his own terms...if he can prove he is financially able to move, he can get the greencard, then come and find work right away. You could sign an affidavit of support as well, but if he goes on welfare within three years, you must pay back the government.

And if you were meant to be, you will be able to stand the test of time. Yes, it is VERY difficult (my man and I have recently hit a bit of a bump ourselves because when you don't see each other in months, it screws with your brain!) But I firmly believe that whatever is meant to happen, will happen...and happens for the best.

If you do choose to marry him, it will be like Amelia said...unless he has pots of money hanging about, you will have to support him. He will not be able to even get a work visa for a few months while you are together. Of course, the nice thing if you go this route is that you go through the red tape while being together, instead of apart, like I am doing!

gelato_lover

For i_jackson -
Congrats on your happy news. I don't want to seem like a downer, but I agree with Amelia about a longer engagement. Sure, everyone is different and feels sure about "the one" at different speeds. I just wouldn't want you to be hurt or disappointed. At least for me, it was SO different living with my man outside the romance of the Italian vacation. And we had known each other for 4 years and lived together for 1.5 when we decided to get married. That said, I wish you good luck with the Visa stuff!

l_jackson95814

Thanks for the advice. I think that the time it will take to get the visa will be a good period to make sure each of us still want to be together. I know that it has been a short period of time, but I am following my gut on this one. I know couples who have been together for 20 years and are still learning things about eachother.

It is my idea for him to come here, he would be just fine staying in Italy, but I don't want to leave my job. Also, if he gets a fiance visa, it will give him a little time to see what I am like under my work pressures.

I promise that I will proceed with an air of caution.

lwinokur

lawyer630 : I met my Italian on vacation in Croatia last august so it's been just over a year now. At the time I had been living in Prague so the distance was still long, but not as bad as it is now that I'm back in Chicago. To go to Italy now frequently is impossible, with work, time and airfare prices, but from Prague I had a lot more free time on my hands and I could easily find cheap airfare. Things are OK now. He was just here for 5 weeks and we travelled all over the US, through AZ, Vegas, parts of Utah, Illinois, WI, MI, DC and NY, also, Niagara falls...it was the longest time I got to spend time with him. He still has a year and a half left of school, and then he wants to move here, which is a nice thought, but a year and a half is a long way off when you can only see someone for short periods of time a couple of times a year.

Regardless, I'm trying to keep my spirits high and my mind open. Since living abroad I've learned to appreciate home more and the people I left before...still, I can't go a day without talking to him and am thinking of him all the time. I've learned that there's no sense in sitting around missing someone when there's nothing you can do about it.

What's your story???