Would You Like to Work at Buckingham Palace?

PHOTO: Shaun Jeffers / Shutterstock

Would you also like to live IN Buckingham Palace?

Queen Elizabeth II is searching for a new housekeeper, and the job includes good benefits and room and board in Buckingham Palace. And while living at your workplace wouldn’t generally be a good and healthy thing, this is an actual palace we’re talking about, so that rule might not apply.

The job listing states that candidates do not necessarily have to have previous housekeeping experience, and are more interested in someone with a “proactive approach and ability to tackle new challenges.”

Would you like to work here and also live here and clean here? maziarz / Shutterstock

It seems legit and quite inclusive for anyone wanting to start or continue a career in hospitality. It’s also not the first job opportunity from Buckingham Palace this year. In May, the Queen was on the hunt for a social media manager, a chef, and an event’s coordinator (aka party planner). Seeing as though job opportunities at the palace have been popping up somewhat frequently recently, I went ahead and thought about several other positions the Queen might like to hire for, and will patiently wait for Buckingham Palace to reach out to me personally and let me know that they agree with me. I am only trying to help.

Hat Handler

The Queen has a lot of hats—literally (and figuratively, I’m sure, but that’s not what we’re talking about here). The Hat Handler will be responsible for maintaining the hats and providing regular upkeep to them. They will also be responsible for pitching new concepts for hats. The candidate does not need to have any previous experience in design, but probably should be knowledgeable about hats to a certain extent or at least have experience in wearing them at some point.

Purse Holder

I’m sure there is already some sort of assistant that does this, but I’m sure the assistant has plenty of other things to do and would like a break. The Queen’s purse holder will be specifically assigned to holding the Queen’s purse when she is out at public events and also private events, if it is an event where the Queen would just like to have her purse nearby because maybe she might need something in it at some point. The purse holder may be asked to hold other things, as well, but mostly it will just be the purse thing.

INSIDER TIPApparently, her handbag is currently used as a tool for her to communicate with her staff, so this position would only become available if she decided to change that.

Assistant Stylist

The Queen already has a known stylist named Angela Kelly (who is also her personal assistant—but started as a housekeeper!). But what if we gave Ms. Kelly an assistant? Everyone likes an assistant—takes off some pressure. The assistant stylist would be primarily responsible for one task: choosing the color to be worn from head to toe on the Queen for that particular day.

As you can see, the Queen usually is a one-color-per-day kind of gal—which is respectable. The assistant stylist will decide which color based on the Queen’s mood, but if the Queen isn’t feeling any particular color and just would like someone else to choose for her, the assistant stylist will do so by spinning an actual wheel in a fun morning ceremony and whichever color it lands on will be the color of the day.

Walking through some poppies, and not worrying about whether or not the palace is clean–it is. Twocoms / Shutterstock

Swan Events Coordinator

Like the Events Coordinator position that she had been looking to fill earlier this year, this job is essentially party planning—not for the Queen, but rather for all of her swans, as she is technically the owner of “all unmarked mute swans” swimming about in the United Kingdom’s bodies of water. The swan events coordinator will be responsible for assigning each swan in the U.K. (every single one) their own individual birthday and throwing them a little party on this day. Most likely there will be a swan birthday party every day, but this is yet to be determined as we don’t actually know how many unmarked and mute swans there are roaming about (this will be the first task to be done by the person who is eventually hired for this job).

Instagram Specialist and Curator (For When She Is Drinking)

Everyone knows the Queen loves a good whiskey or glass of champagne. Unrelated, the Queen started a Facebook account and a Twitter account but has no Instagram account. Well, that’s about to change with this position. The Instagram Specialist and Curator will not only run the Queen’s personal Instagram account, they will curate people for her to follow (based on her interests) so that she can scroll through Instagram and have the nicest possible time looking at things—but only when she is drinking. This is when she is relaxing, and not busy doing other important daily activities and does not have time to waste on Instagram like the rest of us. However, when she’s drinking, it’s fine—she’s letting loose. This is an experimental position and a contract one, so it might be temporary depending on how well this works out.

As these positions have not yet been announced, and probably never will be, you can visit the Royal Family’s website to apply to be the Queen’s housekeeper now through September 15, 2019.