Would you invite your 17 yo son's girlfriend on a family vacation?
Dec 22nd, 2003, 06:38 PM
#3
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I'm the out of town stepmother so I have never met her before. But they are in LOVE and are inseparable. Sigh. It might be a chance to get to know her? I just know my parents would have never given me the option, but today is a different world..
Dec 22nd, 2003, 06:46 PM
#5
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I have a nearly 17 year old son and no, I wouldn't invite a girlfriend. You'll have to watch them like a hawk and that's no vacation! Have him invite a buddy instead. He'll have a friend to hang with and you'll sleep well at night. Good luck; you'll probably be met with howls of protest if you follow my advice! Hold firm and enjoy your vacation without two heavy-on-the-hormones teenagers.
Signed, one who has seen it all before
Signed, one who has seen it all before
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Dec 22nd, 2003, 08:05 PM
#9
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Thanks for the advice so far.
Remember the Chevy Chase Family Vacation movies? When they first came out, I loved them because the parents were just as odd as mine. Now that I'm a parent, I sympathize/empathize with the Mom and Dad roles.
Remember the Chevy Chase Family Vacation movies? When they first came out, I loved them because the parents were just as odd as mine. Now that I'm a parent, I sympathize/empathize with the Mom and Dad roles.
Dec 23rd, 2003, 05:11 AM
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I think your title is an oxymoron. If you invite the son's girlfriend on the "family vacation" it will no longer be a family vacation. Those two will be in their own world. You can throw out the idea of experiencing the vacation as a "family".
Dec 23rd, 2003, 05:37 AM
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obxgirl, the other 2 kids in the family are girls so 17 yo son will bunk on the living room's couch, extra guest or not.
MelissaBeckoff, Dad and I both have mixed feelings on this and willing to see it from other points of view. The reality of the matter is he'll be 18, off to college, and soon a young man. We realize we will see less and less of him, especially not being the custodial parents.
We don't want to cater to him but we do want to continue to relate to him. This can be very hard when he misses everything which is familiar to him (the girl and the band.) Sigh. Big sigh.
Please keep up the advice.
MelissaBeckoff, Dad and I both have mixed feelings on this and willing to see it from other points of view. The reality of the matter is he'll be 18, off to college, and soon a young man. We realize we will see less and less of him, especially not being the custodial parents.
We don't want to cater to him but we do want to continue to relate to him. This can be very hard when he misses everything which is familiar to him (the girl and the band.) Sigh. Big sigh.
Please keep up the advice.
Dec 23rd, 2003, 05:50 AM
#16
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Our son was a teenager once.
He went on FAMILY vacations with us.
We never invited anyone OUTSIDE the family. There is a time and place for this sort of thing, and we never thought that including a teenage girlfriend was appropriate (even if her parents would agree) or neccessary.
Now if I were having a holiday when I would invite lots of people outside of the immediate family, then of course, my children could invite a friend too.
I think it is sending the wrong message to a kid still living at home, when his parents are willing to bring along the girlfriend on a family vacation.
But then, all families are different, but since you ask on a forum such as this, I feel free to voice my opinion
I have a feeling that part of this dilemma of yours is due to being a StepMother, you want him to like you. I don't think this is the way to go about it.
And by the way-in case you have no memory of your own teen years, 17 year olds are IN LOVE every week with a different person
He went on FAMILY vacations with us.
We never invited anyone OUTSIDE the family. There is a time and place for this sort of thing, and we never thought that including a teenage girlfriend was appropriate (even if her parents would agree) or neccessary.
Now if I were having a holiday when I would invite lots of people outside of the immediate family, then of course, my children could invite a friend too.
I think it is sending the wrong message to a kid still living at home, when his parents are willing to bring along the girlfriend on a family vacation.
But then, all families are different, but since you ask on a forum such as this, I feel free to voice my opinion
I have a feeling that part of this dilemma of yours is due to being a StepMother, you want him to like you. I don't think this is the way to go about it.
And by the way-in case you have no memory of your own teen years, 17 year olds are IN LOVE every week with a different person
Dec 23rd, 2003, 05:52 AM
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No. If you want to meet the girlfriend, go visit your son. It's amazing that he can't be separted from his girlfiend for a week or two family vacation, but he'll survive going to college without here. He'll gain a better lesson by you being firm, and you'll truly have a family vacation, instead of being on watch the entire time.
Dec 23rd, 2003, 05:53 AM
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Let me raise one other issue you might want to consider when dealing with that heavy-hormone age: They have lots of fights. Do you want to risk being subjected to one of them while you're on vacation?
For a lot of reasons, the answer to your question is, as the lawyers say, categorically no.
For a lot of reasons, the answer to your question is, as the lawyers say, categorically no.
Dec 23rd, 2003, 06:00 AM
#20
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You ask for more advice, wsoxrebel, but I think it's a safe bet that you will only receive more of the same--a resounding "no." I can sympathize with your desire to have this boy like you by doing what he wants, but this is not the way to do it!
If the girl comes along, all you will see is kissy-kissy 24/7. That gets pretty old, pretty fast. They will not have any interest in seeing or doing anything with the rest of the family. They will be a constant worry to you (and you know why). This is what you want for your family vacation?
He can live without her for a week. It's not as if you're depriving him of life's necessitites! Just tell him very sweetly, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
If the girl comes along, all you will see is kissy-kissy 24/7. That gets pretty old, pretty fast. They will not have any interest in seeing or doing anything with the rest of the family. They will be a constant worry to you (and you know why). This is what you want for your family vacation?
He can live without her for a week. It's not as if you're depriving him of life's necessitites! Just tell him very sweetly, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
