Have you thought about the obligation that you will have placed your friends under? I know you don't mean it that way, but I am sure that they would feel that they had to do something similar to repay you. Would they feel that they had to do the same thing for their daughter's next birthday?

There is nothing wrong with you and a group of your friends taking your daughters on a trip for a couple of days with everyone footing their own expenses. The problem will be with your picking up the tab for everyone. Just take your daughter. She's reaching that age when she may not wish to "do things" with Mom.

What were you planning to do for the 14th? It would be hard to top this one.

I think if you know the moms well, it isn't a problem to discuss it - You can afford one night for all, but you and your DD will stay another night. If they want to join, you'd love to have them but the budget won't allow you to pay for a second night. Talk about it over coffee -"I have this idea"...

Or, as someone else suggested, invite another friend along and you won't need another room. (However, chosing just one friend might be more difficult than discussing Plan A with the moms!)

I agree with Jorr about the amount of time the other Moms get somewhat obligated for, and that you could do a very nice party at home, then something special afterwards.

But in the even you follow thru -- how about a Hostel? Your group would fill up one of those "bunk rooms" like they have at the AYH at 103rd/Amsterdam, and it would be like a big (already mentionned) pajama party. I don't know if you and the other moms could let your hair down enough to do something like this, but if you all can "go with the flow" .. this could be fun. (Or a weekend in Hell).

Okay - time to weigh in again.

I truly appreciate the honest comments that I've received. Its hard to put all the facts/details into a post and so there's so background info that is missing from the picture. I'm not going to bore anyone with those details.

But your comments have allowed me to see that what I would consider a generous offer might be perceived differently by those receiving it. I'm not attempting to impress anyone - these people are my friends as well as my daughter's friends, but I can understand how that impression is being given.

I will pursue taking this trip but not as a birthday celebration for my daughter but more as a "coming of age" celebration for all the girls - with their moms be equal partners in planning and paying.

And Eeva - yes these girls like museums - they are an amazing group of girls.

An excellent solution! Hope it's a wonderful time for all.

bennnie: How impressive! Surely a "let's take the girls and spend two nights in NYC" trip makes a lot more sense than a birthday celebration for a 13 year old.

And, I'm with all those who agree that extending an invitation means you cover all costs.

A very good idea - now it's a 'Girlie Trip'

I hope you all have a wondeful time, don't forget to let us know how it goes.

Have fun!