I got scolded by our house guest

Old Jun 13th, 2006, 09:55 AM
  #41  
 
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I'd love to know the other side of this story and find out exactly what this "scolding" was like. I'm wonder if the OP isn't being a tad overdramatic and not giving us all the details.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 09:56 AM
  #42  
 
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LOL, chasecow, the phone book idea is perfect

My thoughts:
1- he was out of line, rude, and deserves a polite and firm answer about being a houseguest.
2- if I had a non-family member staying in my house, I would not enter that room til they left. In a way- you have given him that room, it is not yours right now, so he feels that you really did enter his room. It must have made him uncomfortable. Best thing is just leave the door closed and ignore it and him til he is gone .
3- I try to never have houseguests anymore. They are too much trouble. (except my children) lol...
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 09:58 AM
  #43  
 
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Nor was I implying, Weasel, that I would tell my husband so he could talk to him. That I would have done myself. Instantly. But my husband is going to know what a jerk he has as a former roommate. Yes indeedy!

OK...so don't copy this thread. Sit him down and read it to him. He needs to hear how the vast majority of people in at least one sampling feels about his boorish behavior. Even if he does not like the idea of someone coming into the same room with his things, he needs to learn an acceptable way to deal with his problem. That was not it.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 09:59 AM
  #44  
JJ5
 
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I have guests galore and I am flabbergasted as well. Pat2003, there are pitfalls yes, but this guy is not the type that I would ever have again for a houseguest. Chiding or anything of that order on this issue!!! Animals in a barn would not be as obtuse- don't insult them.

Some of these reactions!!! When does a visitor's "rights" become so important that manners can be overlooked! I think not.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:03 AM
  #45  
 
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While I wouldn't necessarily go into a guest room until the guest left except to perhaps put some towels on his or her bed nor would I particularily like someone to come into my guest room while I wasn't in it, I think it is uncalled for for the guest to 'scold' his or her host. The guest should have simply and politely stated "don't worry about cleaning up my room, thanks though", or better yet, said nothing and just kept his opinions on her hosting methods to himself. If this happened to me, I would have kept my trap shut and simply accepted that my host had a different approach to treating her houseguests than I do and would have taken her offerings in the gracious spirit they were given. His behavior was inappropriate.

However, I don't know if I'd go so far as to 'uninvite him' to the house as a result of his boorish behavior in this situation, unless this was just a small example of his pervading rudeness. I would however mention how you felt about his behavior to your husband.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:04 AM
  #46  
 
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Sorry, but that sounds just inappropriate. It is your house, and you are allowed to do what you want...aside from rifling thru a person's belongins.

Your husband's friend seems to possibly have issues with people possible seeing his items.

You were definately NOT in the wrong.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:06 AM
  #47  
 
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I probably would have changed the sheets/tidied up. But that doesn't make his reaction acceptable - at all.

"I'd still be busy packing his bags!" - Nope - he'd be busy packing his own bags - out on the front lawn!
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:07 AM
  #48  
 
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Oh sheesh - I meant I probably wouldn't have changed the sheets
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:12 AM
  #49  
 
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Fodorites are so violent! Who knew!! b-(
I must admit I kind of laughed when I read SAnParis' comments about putting toothpaste in his socks and greasing his shoes! That's so funny!!


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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:14 AM
  #50  
 
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If he is still there ...

1. Go into 'his' room (when he is out of the house of course) and very carefully search through his belongings to see what he is hiding. ;-) ;-)

2. Place a 'do not disturb' sign on the doorknob. We all have one or two, usually in a foreign language that we took home as souveniers (sp) from previous trips.

3. Hope that you insulted HIM by being a gracious hostess and that he will never visit you again.

Nina
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:15 AM
  #51  
 
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Nice attitude. I'm guessing houseguests aren't a frequent problem for you.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:16 AM
  #52  
 
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Jagirl and JJ, you're right about the animals--they're much better behaved.

We have houseguests all the time, at least two weekends out of each month. We host physicians from other countries on Rotary or fact-finding trips. We have gangs of teenagers and middle-schoolers. We have a steady stream of visitors from Florida, our previous residence, and the past three years we have taken in friends/evacuees from Florida for up to a week at a time, complete with their in-laws, pets and kids.

When we assign guests a room, it is not "theirs." They may be "staying" in it, but it is still "ours."

Where do these odd notions of "giving" guests their "own" room come from? One of our guest room closets is used for out-of-season clothing storage. If I need something I will knock when a guest is occupying the room. If he or she is engaged in some activity that requires privacy, it is reasonable to be asked to come back later. But if the guest is not in the room, I do not hesitate for a nanosecond before going in and retrieving what I want or need. Why should I? It's MY house!
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:18 AM
  #53  
 
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Was he kidding? How long has he been there... I'd probably ask if he minded if I could do that after a week? But he scolded you... weird...
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:20 AM
  #54  
 
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Theory #1: He felt embarrased that you were spending Your time "cleaning up" after him and it came out of his mouth the wrong way, and now he feels bad about it.

Theory #2: he is hiding something in that room such as illegal drugs and doens't want your husband to find out about a drug addiction.

Theory #3: He is single and he is simply not use to someone else messing with his personal space.

There is nothing wrong with what you did but some people especially men, who don't like their private space messed around with.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:20 AM
  #55  
emd
 
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janisj, I think that is called a freudian sheet slip...
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:23 AM
  #56  
 
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"some people especially men, who don't like their private space messed around with."

True enough. However a gentleman would not scold his hostess even if she had set fire to his stuff, let alone simply changed the sheets.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:24 AM
  #57  
 
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But all she was doing was cleaning her own home. How can that be interpreted as an invasion of his space? Maybe he was/is hiding something in there...
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:26 AM
  #58  
 
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At the very least print this up for your husband and see what he thinks after reading all of the replys.
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:26 AM
  #59  
 
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"There is nothing wrong with what you did but some people especially men, who don't like their private space messed around with."

But surely the point is that it is NOT his private space!
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Old Jun 13th, 2006, 10:29 AM
  #60  
emd
 
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maybe he has one of those blow up dolls...
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