I don't change the sheets and freshen my guests rooms even though I think it's a really nice thing to do. I'm just too lazy, my poor guest have to fend for themselves. I have to go into "their room" because it is my office, so the touchy need not apply.

He may have a point but how very rude.
It's your house and he doesn't really get a say until his check for part of the mortgage is on the table, he's a past roomate not a present one.

How long is he staying? You know the old saying, "fish and houseguest need to be thrown out after 3 days."

Unless you were rifling through his bags, he was out of line and rude. You actually were being very kind to him by freshening up his room. However, you should refrain from telling your husband until the secretive guest is gone.

I would have been flabbergasted. It is YOUR house and it is YOUR room, which you are kindly providing for him and his comfort. When we have guests I generally do not go in the guest room, but geez louise, if I were being so kind as to change sheets and put fresh flowers in, I'd be stunned and very hurt by his reaction. Then there'd have been a little frustration induced door slamming.

What does that leave you thinking but...what does he have to hide?? I can't imagine having that reaction myself if I were the guest, even if I were sure someone had pawed through all my drawers (not that you had). That was unbelievably boorish behavior. Did he say that in front of your husband?

Run off a copy of this thread and put this on his pillow as turndown service tonight. Creep!

Just another reason why I detest being a houseguest and why I really dread having them in my home. All these misunderstandings! UGH!

On the VERY RARE occasions that I actually do have a houseguest, the room is theirs. I treat it as I would like to be treated. Meaning, I do not enter their room unless asked to do so. If I need to go in, I ask first.

Yes, it's my home, but I've given the room to them to use "as their own." Which is also why I rarely ask some one to be a houseguest. They are usually given a list of very good hotels in the area in a range of prices. Keeps things nice and simple - and on friendly terms.

The more I think about this the angrier I get! What right has he to talk to you that way? That's just unreal.

I have to disagree with GeorgeW about not saying anything to your husband. Sounds like GeorgeW assumes it was said out of your husband's earshot of course...as it probably was. What sort of a "friend" treats his friend's wife with so little respect?

LOL...if they leave again today, short sheet his bed. LOL

I'm all for giving guests their privacy, but being taken to task for freshening "his" room? What an ingrate.

Since he's unhappy with the (free!) service you are providing him, I'd send him to a hotel where he can stick the Do Not Disturb sign on the door and be as private as he pleases.

"The more I think about this the angrier I get! What right has he to talk to you that way? That's just unreal."

Male - I'm still in shock over this one. I'd still be busy packing his bags!

Your house guest is a boor--straight out of Animal House.

I would never scold someone in their home but I also would not stay at your house again.

Some of you scare me. Is this how you deal with conflict on a daily basis? Kick people out of your lives? Have your husband talk to the offending party? Leave them notes telling them how you feel? Good grief! Talk to the guest and tell him what your expectations are, there's no need for all this drama and anger.

Hi Pat,

Once a guest moves in I leave their room and bathroom alone until they leave. Even though it's our house I feel strange going into a room where someone else is staying--even when it's a brother of mine that I am very close to.

Conversely, when I stay at other friends / family members home I never mind if someone enters my room / space.

I'm sure you didn't jeopardize your husband's friendship. Some people are more private than others, perhaps he was simply caught off guard.

My question is :
What on earth does he do when staying at a hotel? Does he scold the manager for the "invasion of his privacy" when the maids clean up.

kswl, I suspect if Pat2003 had done this for a cow raised in a barn all his life, the cow would be quite grateful and would not have responded as this fellow did.
I wonder what corner of weird he stepped out of!

Dohlice - you're right - you wouldn't be staying at my house again, & you'd be looking for a place to sleep right now.

Weasel - wouldn't be kicking him out of my life, just my house.

What he chose to do about that would be his decision.

Forget the short sheets - put toothpaste in the toes of his socks & grease up the bottom of his shoes w/oil.

We sometimes have stayed with a friend who's very tidy. I always felt a bit nervous when she came into our room to get something out of the closet or chest of drawers and we hadn't tidied up first. When we have guests I never enter their room--there's seldom need to do so, as the linens are changed before they arrive and after they leave. Ditto for towels--I don't operate a hotel, with clean ones every day!

Weasel, I think the houseguest started the drama when he scolded his hostess. The houseguest could have chosen to keep mum or could have said, "don't worry about tidying up my room, i'll do that when I leave", instead of scolding the hostess and telling her she is not allowed to go into his rm., as if he has some control over her and she had done something wrong.

Did you find something inappropriate in the room? Or perhaps there is something still there to be found.... Oh I love a treasure hunt!

All this drama seems misplaced, but also, no, I wouldn't go into the guest room/bath while a guest is there. It's up to them if they want to make the bed, put up the shades, hang up their clothes, etc. The exception here is my daughters--if they were here for long enough I might tell them to feel free to use the closet! But also, from the way Pat2003 phrased it, it COULD actually have been her husband doing the scolding.

emd and others, we don''t actually know who "scolded" the OP. Someone up thread asked, but she hasn't replied. I'm really quite stunned at the really nasty comments here, some directed towards other posters. Take a chill pill everyone.