Houseguests! AUGH!
Aug 9th, 2006, 10:46 PM
#44
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Heres a good houseguest story for ya... Shortly after my mom moved to her apartment, her best friend came to visit her from California. So my mom had her friend sleep in her bedroom and mom slept on the couch. Anyway what makes this story interesting is that my mom let her friend borrow her car to drive to see some friends that lived about an hour away. Only thing that my mom didn't know was that her friend had no valid drivers license. Luckily this person didn't have an accident!!! Turns out that her friend did have an accident in California a couple of months before her trip. Suffice it to say my mom was none too happy!
This friend of hers just visited her this past christmas. My mom did all the driving this time.
This friend of hers just visited her this past christmas. My mom did all the driving this time.
Aug 9th, 2006, 11:00 PM
#45
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Do your potential houseguests want to stay with you for your company, or to stay with you as a convenient way to save money and use your place as a base of operations for thier own independant travels ie- so they can visit their other friends that live nearby? And then you get the thank you dinner like the previous poster said.
Aug 10th, 2006, 05:03 AM
#47
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vivi, I can't tell you how many times I've been in this same situation.
What finally worked for us is when people call, and you know the announcement is coming that they are coming for a visit, cut them off and say:
"Fantastic! You must let us know where you are staying so we can get together one night for dinner!"
Works every single time.
You may get the occaisional person who will make noises but hold firm and DO NOT APOLOGIZE!
"Oh no, we no longer have the room for guests".
What finally worked for us is when people call, and you know the announcement is coming that they are coming for a visit, cut them off and say:
"Fantastic! You must let us know where you are staying so we can get together one night for dinner!"
Works every single time.
You may get the occaisional person who will make noises but hold firm and DO NOT APOLOGIZE!
"Oh no, we no longer have the room for guests".
Aug 10th, 2006, 06:12 AM
#49
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We thought we were through with drop-in guests (we live on an island) until a friend's daughter bought her own plane: "Oh, delighted to hear that you are on-island! Where would you like to meet for lunch?'
On two occasions, we have had the opposite problems: people said they would come, we cleaned, rearranged schedules, and prepared for them, and they were no-shows -- without a call. Off the guest list forever!!!
On two occasions, we have had the opposite problems: people said they would come, we cleaned, rearranged schedules, and prepared for them, and they were no-shows -- without a call. Off the guest list forever!!!
Aug 10th, 2006, 06:46 AM
#51
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We got a call from my husband's aunt saying that her 17 year old daughter would be arriving later that day; could we please pick her up at the airport; transport her back and forth from Harborview Hospital (in Seattle) from our apt. in Kirkland twice so she could visit a sick friend; feed her; and get her back to the airport three days later.
We lived in a one bedroom apt and we had a 2 month old baby. We were so stunned that we said we would. And the girl was 17 and her parents didn't make any other arrangements for her -- just put her on a plane. She was lucky we weren't out of town that week.
We lived in a one bedroom apt and we had a 2 month old baby. We were so stunned that we said we would. And the girl was 17 and her parents didn't make any other arrangements for her -- just put her on a plane. She was lucky we weren't out of town that week.
Aug 10th, 2006, 07:37 AM
#54
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We have a second home in a very desirable vacation area and have always done exactly what GoTravel does - when someone calls to say the are planning to visit the area we say "Great, we will meet you on (name a day) at your hotel for (lunch or dinner)". We got the idea from my grand-parents who had been doing the same thing ever since I can remember. We only allow invited guests - some of whom are invited back and others are not while still others are vever invited. Anyone who is so rude as to invite themselves immediately gets moved to the non-invite list.
I have an interesting story to relate. 25 years ago my self-centered SIL and her husband purchased a small vacation cottage near a lake in the mountains about a 2 1/2 hour drive from the towns where we lived. Since that time, at every family gathering we'd all have to listen to endless stories of how much fun they had with "so & so" at XYZ Lake last week or what time they were leaving for the lake the following morning or how great the skiing was on the mountain last February or how big a crowd they had over Fourth of July - you get the idea. They were so obsessed with their vacation home it was the only thing they talked about. But never once in those 25 years did they ever extend an invitation to my spouse, me or any of our children - not even to come up for a day visit. The tide, however, has now turned - ever since we built our vacation home four years ago my SIL has continually tried her best to get an invite but needless to say we never even acknowledge her requests and her efforts have fallen on deaf ears. She's even commented to others how much she'd like to see our home and is hoping for an invite. She has a long wait in front of her. The way I figure it my SIL will have to wait as least 25 years or maybe even longer before she will ever set a foot in our vacation home.
I have an interesting story to relate. 25 years ago my self-centered SIL and her husband purchased a small vacation cottage near a lake in the mountains about a 2 1/2 hour drive from the towns where we lived. Since that time, at every family gathering we'd all have to listen to endless stories of how much fun they had with "so & so" at XYZ Lake last week or what time they were leaving for the lake the following morning or how great the skiing was on the mountain last February or how big a crowd they had over Fourth of July - you get the idea. They were so obsessed with their vacation home it was the only thing they talked about. But never once in those 25 years did they ever extend an invitation to my spouse, me or any of our children - not even to come up for a day visit. The tide, however, has now turned - ever since we built our vacation home four years ago my SIL has continually tried her best to get an invite but needless to say we never even acknowledge her requests and her efforts have fallen on deaf ears. She's even commented to others how much she'd like to see our home and is hoping for an invite. She has a long wait in front of her. The way I figure it my SIL will have to wait as least 25 years or maybe even longer before she will ever set a foot in our vacation home.
Aug 10th, 2006, 09:17 AM
#56
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vivi, fortunate I have never had a house guest wanna be who's that pushy.
If I were in your shoes I would make a reservation for them at a nearby hotel or B&B and ask the couple to confirm the reservation by calling in with their credit card number. If you knew that the couple is trustworthy enough to pay you back you could pay for the room yourself but I wouldn't recommend it.
If I were in your shoes I would make a reservation for them at a nearby hotel or B&B and ask the couple to confirm the reservation by calling in with their credit card number. If you knew that the couple is trustworthy enough to pay you back you could pay for the room yourself but I wouldn't recommend it.
Aug 10th, 2006, 11:21 AM
#57
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Okay, I have a question for all you fodorites. We have invited our in laws to come visit us several times (we live 8 hours away by car). They have only come once when we invited them to a football game, but they only stayed 48 hours. Beyond that, they have not expressed a real interested in coming. Time, money, health are not issues.
We invite ourselves down to their house approx 3 times a year (one of those being Christmas or Thanksgiving), so they can spend some time with their grandson (2 years old). My husband likes to spend time with his dad and step mom, plus it’s the only way they will see their grandson. FYI, they don’t visit any of my husband’s siblings. Are we being totally rude inviting ourselves down? I just kind of figured it wasn’t rude if it was immediate family, but perhaps I am wrong.
We invite ourselves down to their house approx 3 times a year (one of those being Christmas or Thanksgiving), so they can spend some time with their grandson (2 years old). My husband likes to spend time with his dad and step mom, plus it’s the only way they will see their grandson. FYI, they don’t visit any of my husband’s siblings. Are we being totally rude inviting ourselves down? I just kind of figured it wasn’t rude if it was immediate family, but perhaps I am wrong.
Aug 10th, 2006, 11:30 AM
#58
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jcb -
This seems more like an issue for Dr Phil than for a travel board. I know some grandparents aren't that involved in their grandkids lives - but I would think a couple of visits each way per year make sense.
Next time you want to go ask them about local hotels and see if they seem any more eager to have you - but it doesn;t sound like that is the issue.
This seems more like an issue for Dr Phil than for a travel board. I know some grandparents aren't that involved in their grandkids lives - but I would think a couple of visits each way per year make sense.
Next time you want to go ask them about local hotels and see if they seem any more eager to have you - but it doesn;t sound like that is the issue.
Aug 10th, 2006, 07:03 PM
#59
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No, jcb, I am quite sure you are *not* being rude. I have known such parents/in-laws and IMO, they think it is your job to visit them and not the other way around, so rest easy....Another way to tell you are probably not being rude, is if you wonder if you are you are probably not!! 
Only the truly rude never even consider the possibility that their behavior is out of line.
Only the truly rude never even consider the possibility that their behavior is out of line.
