Have had the same problem - a not so large apartment in NYC that friends/ family would want to come visit - not for a day or weekend - but for a week or more - with their entire family.

I had no problem with a close friend or relative (even with a significant other if necessary) but always made it clear the bed was mine - and they could fight over the sofa and the floor.

But after one cousin - I hadn't seen for at least 5 years - turned up unannounced with her husband and 3 kids - and complained my apartment was too small - I agreed. I offered her the phone book and the phone to get a hotel.

She left in a huff. No loss.

Why not do the same for your wannabe guests. Have a standard list of B&Bs etc in the area and email it to them - repeating as often as necessary - sorry no room.

Would you mind the flight? It's on the Yucatán.

Depends on flight availability.

What an incredible thread! Love the stories!

I've had people invite themselves over and I have a 605 square foot, one BR condo unit. Even after I said I have no room and the place is a mess, I get a ton of insistence that it's OK. I'm always appalled that I have to look super upset before these types of people back off! Otherwise they are nice people.....just have a thing for wanting to stay with me or something.

Oh, Melissa, I would invite myself to your condo in a heartbeat! Unless Kal gets there first!

Tell them that they're welcome to come and to stay in the living room, but they'll be sharing the floor with other guests, Aunt Martha and your flatulent Uncle Fred.

I'm an excellent visitor but NOT an overnight guest!
Gotta have my hotel room!

I am LOL at some of the responses, it seems this is not a unique situation!
You guys are the best when it comes to Advice!

Cal- One time my very uppity brother-in-law was staying with us in Hawaii. The horror on his face was priceless when he saw our slobbery dog lick the BBQ grill. (Yes, I washed it, but much later.)

One of my pet peeves from hosting friends and family 40-50 times in Hawaii was the "thank you dinner." Most guests were wonderful and treated us to a fabulous meal at Kauai's best restaurants (Roys, A Pacific Cafe, and that old stand-by Duke's.) Occasionally, tho, guests would announce that to show their appreciation they would cook dinner for us.... in our own kitchen. This was always tortuous as they inevitably would diss our cookware, spice assortment, the electric stove, yadda yadda yadda. And then there would be a big ol' mess to clean up. I especially hated the annual Night of the Meat, one particular guest's idea of a "treat" which involved huge bloody slabs of beef (I am a vegetarian and it used to make me reel.)

Social Worker- I have most definitely using the 'broken record' method, I chant back the same mantra but so far it isn't working. We'll see if we come to an impasse!

we have a 1bd/1ba 700sf apt in Los Angeles and my inlaws have the gall to insist on staying with us. UGHGGHGHGHGHH.

Am I the only one (besides Kal) that likes to visit people but I want my own hotel room. My problem is trying to figure out how to do that without hurting peoples feelings!!

And travelling with a friend, I want my own hotel room. Most friends want to share a hotel room. Again, I want my hotel room!! Gosh vivi, you should have me come and visit you. I would get my own hotel room, lol!

No, I'm with you too LoveItaly. I would much rather have stay in a hotel room - especially if someone is going to be displaced by the guest. I don't feel right about that - and enjoy some alone time.

I don't mind sharing hotel rooms though. Well, if its a good traveling companion I'm sharing with.

I'm the same LoveItaly. I want my own bathroom and t.v. Unfortunately, even my Mom doesn't have a t.v. in the guestroom, and I have to go down the hall to use the bathroom. Of course I've never had the nerve to even suggest staying in a hotel. Don't want to make my Mom cry.

My guest bedroom has it all, and I always hope that my guests/family will follow suit, but alas, no one has.

"Oh you'll be in town ?
How marvelous ! Can we meet for
dessert-coffee-lunch ?"

"Oh, you'll be in town ?
How marvelous ! We're remodeling
the bath (and you only have the one and are now showering in a makeshift shower in the yard-or-we a showering at the gym) and decided to do the kitchen-I mean the contractor gave us a deal on both-anyhoo
we'd love to meet you somewhere
for a bite. What day is good for you ?"

I'm with the own hotel room gang
on this one...and you know, life's too short to have anyone in it will not accept your "No".

R5

LOL Razzle, I love it!!! Too funny but a great response

I have always needed time to myself, even as a kid. And even my dear late husband and I had a bathroom each..I am spoiled I guess.

My guest suite in my houses did have a TV, a radio, its own bathroom etc and complete privacy. I wonder why we had so many houseguest? But it was fine, we had our privacy and they had theirs.

And regarding sharing a hotel room, I never ever go to bed at the same hour each night. And I also watch TV for about an hour while I fall asleep. And if I wake up in the middle of the night, well I get up and have some water or juice or whatever. I couldn't do that sharing a hotel room.

Actually I love hotel rooms, and do wish I could work out staying in hotels when visiting my loved ones.

Count me in the "gotta have my own hotel room" group. And my wife would NEVER consider it a vacation without staying in a hotel, condo, or something special!

Now the problem SpeedBunny is how can vivi convince her "invite myself house guest" to feel the same way, lol.

Vivi, I sure hope that you stick to your guns (no, no, don't meet them at your front door with a shotgun, you would end up sharing a jail cell with some real creeps) and not let univited houseguest intrude on you.

LoveItaly, from all the posts I've read of yours (very many!) you seem like such a fine, genteel lady, so I'll just chalk it up to you having an adventurous (for lack of a better word) night.

And I posted my own horror story up higher in this thread.

Oh, LoveItaly, in case you are wondering, I was referring to your version of my screen name. No, I am not asking ANY questions! lol

Just read that while Atlantic hurricane season is going to be less than expected, Pacific typhoon season will be worse.

"Oh, maybe you didn't hear that a typhoon and tsunami are approaching here nest week - I suggest a highrise in the city. We want you to be safe"