Friend of mine is a city bus driver. Once told me that his biggest pet peeve were tourists who, despite the fact that there are signs in front and on the side of the bus marked "Waikiki," would invariably ask: Is this the bus to Waikiki?

My favourite was at the VVV Tourist centre opposite Amsterdam Terminal Station. The tourist in front of me asked, "How do I get to Holland?", and, when the poor lass behind the counter (I think they are staffed mainly by University Students earning a few extra dollars during semester break) couldn't quite work out what to say to him in English to answer this question, he got most irate: "Now let me get this straight... this is Amsterdam, right? And Amsterdam is in the Netherlands, right? Well, I want to get to Holland, so can someone please tell me which train goes there!"

We had a thread a long time ago on the European board about these, but I can't find it now.

Here are my two top: While working at a family motel directly across the street from Disneyland. A caller asked, "do you take pets". Answer, Yes. Next question, "do you take children?"

While working in Central Reservations at Snowbird Ski Resort, a caller asked, "When it snows is it cold?"

Ok, I have one.

I am from LA and was talking to a friend of mine along with an her friend about earthquakes.

My friend made the remark, "When the big one hits, Ihope I am leaving LA on a plane to Hawaii!"

Her friend looked at us with horror and replied, "But the plane could crash!"

thanks for a GREAT laugh. i swear this is true: once when i was on a tour of greece walking the stairs up to the acropolis an older woman asked if there was an escalator.

Al Gore was visiting the Jefferson Memorial and came upon the busts of the presidents. His comment: Who are all these men?

George W Bush was visiting the Jefferson Memorial and came upon the busts of the presidents. His comment: Find these men, arrest them and hold them without trial in a secret location for as long as I say.

Please keep these threads coming!

My Wife at a Volcanic Park in Lanzarote, Canaries BR>
( Watching a guide use the heat from the ground to cause a bundle of straw to burst into flame ); "is that what they use to heat the rock up ?".

Cue storm of laughter & shamefaced Wife !

Some years ago my father (an Irishman) met a beautiful American girl who had been travelling in Italy. Yes, she liked Italy, but not Florence. Why not Florence? Well, there was nothing to do in Florence, she said. What about the museums and churches, my father asked. Oh, the tour took us round those in the morning and left us for a whole afternoon with nothing to do, she answered.

My mom, bless her, has the dumbest attitude. Has no idea what Capri was or is except what she's seen in an old Sophia Loren movie but rattles about how beautiful Capri is. She visited there for 4 hours druing a cruise. Boasts about touring Venice, Florence and Rome but ended up eating her American meals on ship. Nothing about Italy and Italian culture interests her; she just wants to go, get pampered on board ship, and come home to her girlfriends to brag about how wonderful Italy is.

"People in NY are so different than the rest of the USA"

That is about the dumbest travel remark I have ever heard.

G-d, these are funny. Alan, your story is almost identical to something my dad once said. A few years ago, my husband and I had a Dutch woman stay with us for a week. My dad takes me aside and says, "Yvonne said she is Dutch, and is from the Netherlands, so where is Holland?" I don't know if I ever answered him. Last summer, my husband and I took my mother in law to NYC. We were driving right past Newark Airport and she says to us, "There must be an airport near here because the planes are flying so low." Gee, you think?

San Jose is a great place to visit. So much to see and do.

On day in March we were going to Atlantic City on a bus and we passed by a body of water before coming into the city and the lady behind us goes to her friend "Don't the water look cold"!

"San Jose St Univ-the MIT of the West".

Friends of mone were getting ready to come back from Florida and one of the girls wanted to bring some seafood home to her mother. They stopped at a Winn-Dixie and got a bag of frozen shrimp

Overheard while checking into a hotel in Sydney, Australia - "Can I please have a room with a view of Ayers Rock?"

"Gee, I wish Fodors had more posts about Hawaii (and that freakin Road to Hana)."

Does the water go all the way around the island?
How many times a day is the Sunset Celebration? (in Key West)