In Florida, on a protected beach for turtles to emerge from the sea and lay their eggs, with signs all around admonishing people not to dig up the eggs or bother the turtles:

"How do the turtles know to come HERE to lay their eggs?"

So, how do the turtles know to come there?

I work as a reservationist. I have worked for several hotel companies and I have a million of them. Here are a couple of good ones:

"But we don't have 5 people, only 4 people and a baby!"

After being told there is nothing available, the hotel is completely sold out. "What about a room with one bed? What about a suite?"

A man once insisted that he was going to drive to the hotel...from Washington to Hawaii.

I just got another one:

"May 29,30,31,June 1, and June 2...that's only 4 nights. Why are you charging me for 5 nights?"

This isn't really a travel question exactly but fits in as a geography goof...
At a fourth of July celebration with fireworks,a big band and the like- a local was getting citizen of the year award. The mayor went up an announce the gentleman's many reasons that he should get the award. One was hosting 2 exchange students from 2 different countries, both Tokyo AND Japan.
My boyfriend and I have laughed about that for years!

President of Brazil was asked..Do you have blacks in Brazil?

Forgivable, MAYBE, because it was uttered by a 14-year-old Californian: "I've been out east. All the buildings are so old. Once you've seen an old building, that's about it."

Friend was in Paris and remarked how she loved the 'Re-nore' paintings in the 'Loov-re.'

The Ugly American strikes in Paris!

Anything Stephanie says

MY HUSBAND AND I WERE TRAVELING THROUGH OREGON AND HAD STOPPED AT A ROAD SIDE CAFE FOR DINNER...AT THE NEXT BOOTH WERE A GROUP OF TEENAGERS TELLING HELEN KELLER JOKES.....ONE OF THE GIRLS SAID "WHO'S HELEN KELLER? IS SHE A NEW GIRL AT SCHOOL?

who is helen keller?

My husband and I had just returned from a trip to Ireland. We were passing around our photos of the Ring of Kerry, etc to the family, when my father-in-law remarked: "You wonder why the heck anyone would want to go to a dangerous place like Ireland, but when you see the pictures, it's real pretty."

When my friend awakened during a bus trip (long ago when we were teenagers -100 years at least), she sat up suddenly and asked, "Is this where we are?"

We still use that one occasionally.

Not the dumbest travel remark, but I just over-heard it while wandering the narrow medieval streets of Toledo Spain in May: " It's great the way they make the streets shadey".

An American with a southern accent in Guyana, the French Colony.

"Why the Hell are they speaking French here. This isn't paris, they should be speaking English like everyone else."

Don't like to make fun of them, they were good people but untraveled...when I told an elderly country couple I was going to Germany to join my husband in Army, they were impressed. After thinking it over, the man said Going to take the bus?" and his wife replied, " You dumbbell, Germany is way over the ocean, next to Japan."

Not exactly a travel remark, but many years ago, a bank teller at our bank in Coopersburg, PA, refused to deposit a check from a Bank of King of Prussia account because "we don't accept foreign checks."
Obviously, this happened before the KOP mall became so famous!

While beginning our tour of Buckingham Palace, we changed our minds and chose to go back to purchase the "tour book" explaining the various displays of art. When we politely asked a woman if we could return (the 20 feet) to make the purchase, she snootily replied "Yes, but don't run."

While waiting in line for a Sky Cap in front of Phl Int a confused old woman came up behind me and asked "Is this the line to New York?"