Disney's Evil Empire of Happy Endings
Oct 8th, 2009, 07:36 AM
#41
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oooh : ) thanks!!!
When we visit EPCOT, we do the big three... send Dad to Soarin' for fast passes, while we head straight to Test Track. As soon as we're done with Test Track, we go to Mission Space and by then, it is time to walk back to Soarin' for fast passes. If really necessary, we go through the Nemo ride, but my kids weren't enthralled by Turtle Talk. Hopefully, we are heading to the Worlds as they are opening and we've been lucky to walk straight to the UK and get lunch in the pub. Alternatively, we eat baguettes at France finished with gelato in Italy. yum gelato.
Last time, they had added a Kim Possible thing in EPCOT where you get a little cell phone and it gives you clues to follow and it makes various things in each country work, talk, move, etc. Almost a Disney version of geocaching. The kids *loved* it and we had to go back another day to do it again to do all the countries. Of course, mine are a little older, so they could 'get' the clues, but next year... when Princess Bella is a little older than four (AND A HALF!) she might enjoy it. When we did it, they were dd8, dd7, and ds5.
i'm lovin' it!
When we visit EPCOT, we do the big three... send Dad to Soarin' for fast passes, while we head straight to Test Track. As soon as we're done with Test Track, we go to Mission Space and by then, it is time to walk back to Soarin' for fast passes. If really necessary, we go through the Nemo ride, but my kids weren't enthralled by Turtle Talk. Hopefully, we are heading to the Worlds as they are opening and we've been lucky to walk straight to the UK and get lunch in the pub. Alternatively, we eat baguettes at France finished with gelato in Italy. yum gelato.
Last time, they had added a Kim Possible thing in EPCOT where you get a little cell phone and it gives you clues to follow and it makes various things in each country work, talk, move, etc. Almost a Disney version of geocaching. The kids *loved* it and we had to go back another day to do it again to do all the countries. Of course, mine are a little older, so they could 'get' the clues, but next year... when Princess Bella is a little older than four (AND A HALF!) she might enjoy it. When we did it, they were dd8, dd7, and ds5.
i'm lovin' it!
Oct 9th, 2009, 06:07 AM
#42
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Magic Kingdom–The Kids Save the Day
If we only knew the day ahead we would have rejoiced at our lucky stars - however we didn't...so we won't.
We had early kitchen duty at the Empire's Crystal Palace. We woke up early to do the customary morning ritual: Imperial coffee in the Imperial mug and watching the Imperial animals.
Then we had to wake up the poor kids and dragged their behinds to the Magic Kingdom…because that is what to be expected from an Imperial slave…no days off…no vacations…ever!
We took some pictures in an empty park…in case we don't see each other again…which is very likely because today we are going to serve Pooh, Protector of the Empire, and his court…an assignment which will surely end in one or more of us…perhaps all…mauled to death.
As we stood in line at the Crystal Palace…shaking in fear…Jackey suddenly noticed Tigger the Terrible inside…his excitement grew as he proclaimed "Tigger, Tigger".
Oh, the innocence of childhood…we couldn't bear...or is it bare...I'll go with bear, just to be safe...anyway...we couldn't bear to tell him what horrors await.
As we were escorted…to what we expected to be the kitchen…we were diverted to a table with full view of the castle.
Could it be the Princess Cinderella is keeping a grudge?
After all we did manage to get out of the royal kitchen duty from under her nose not once, but twice!
Did Cinderella ordered the Protector to maul us to death in front of a full view of the castle…so she cold enjoy the scene of carnage?
She could…I wouldn't put anything past a woman who treats her beloved step-family the way she did.
But the Quarrelsome Quartet of Pooh, Protector of the Empire, Tigger the Terrible, Piglet the Procrastinator and "Eagle Eye" Eeyore took their time. We got served our drinks quickly…must be because the Quartet like their food juicy... and were directed to fatten ourselves with a bunch of delicious delicacies afforded to us via a fattening table … or as the Empire refers to it…a buffet.
At first to visit our table was "Eagle Eye" Eeyore, who must have lost his appetite when Jakey insisted he was a "horse" and led the kids in a parade – obviously to gain his appetite back.
As fans of classic literature... visions of the Pied Piper of Hamlin ran through our heads... and we breathed a sigh of relief when our kids were returned. However, not true to his nickname "Eagle Eye" proceeded to the next table.
We were spared the horror which is known as Eeyore and were allowed to live a few more moments.
Next came Piglet the Procrastinator – sharp fangs and a corkscrew tail which could puncture a battleship. True to form Jakey saved us again by brazenly and bravely chewing on pieces of bacon one after the other until the pig couldn't stand it anymore (which pig I’m talking about remains to be seen) and left us alone.
Good job brave Sir Jacob.
However what happened next no-one could predicted, our table was visited by Tigger the Terrible – Terror of the Monorail. Our sweet Jakey was immediately enamored by the beast and gladly entered its claws.
The beast must have been as surprised as us…or maybe impressed by Jakey's past and present acts of bravery…and let him go.
We were shocked as we already started to mourn the tike.
But they left the worst for last –The Lord Protector of the Empire, Minister of Conquest and all around cuddly bear – Pooh!
We, again, looked at Jakey to save us all.
Using the tactics he perfected meeting Tigger the Terrible, Jakey attacked the gruesome bear with his charm and cuteness. Pooh was caught off guard and in his confusion and amazement led the kids, again, in a cheerful parade around the room to entice his appetite…so they’ll be tasty.
We didn’t wait to see what would happen; we grabbed our kids and left the Crystal Palace relieved and singing praise of Brave Sir Jacob to the tune made famous by an entrepreneurial and beloved young lady of years ago – Cruella DeVill.
As we left we, thought we heard an anguish scream of frustration and disappointment coming from the top floors of the infamous Imperial fortress.
Learning our lesson from days of yore we headed straight to Ariel’s grotto in order to pay our respects to the siren before she devour us whole. We were disappointed to find the line measured a mere 10 minutes to our imminent deaths.
We let the kids blissfully play in the splash ground while we stood in line trying to figure out a plan – alas no plan was formed in we were called in to the cave of the enchantress.
We expected a vile smell of human carcasses and dead fish, but to our surprise the cave was clean with the Ariel sitting on a rock, her fins intact and eyes glowing of maternal warm…to soften the flesh of little children.
What is now seen as a blessing from heaven, Bella & Jakey must have worked up a plan in the splash-ground because they turned up the charm and the one who has sunk many massive ships before has seemingly forgotten her devious plans and simply let us walk away.
Next we went to pay our respects to newest Imperial royalty – the Ferocious Fairies. Many Imperial slaves must have had the same thought because we stood in line for an hour, happily I might add, watching Imperial propaganda on a huge screen.
We had to check our calendars to make sure we didn’t go back in time to 1984...because of the propaganda...on the huge screen.
As we entered the room, we were told by an Imperial Donald Doctor...or is it Quack Doctor...I'm not sure...anyway, we were told that we will now be deformed to the size of a mere 5 inches as to not overshadow the Ferocious Fairies. Expecting excruciating pain we clung to each other proclaiming our love and ready to be transformed to these vile creatures.
However, this Frankensteinian process went through relatively painless, and only deformed myself…but I have lived a full life and G-d was gracious enough to give me a spare foot and nine spare fingers.
We paid our homage to the mighty fairies and fearlessly walked through the transformation hallway to regain our original size... even though I would have liked another inch or two...for the glory of the Empire.
To celebrate a joyful return to our proper size we honored the Empire by buying Isabella princess Minnie ears, Jakey a Buzz Lightyear hat, a picture frame and a magnet.
Simple joy as we felt today cannot be measured or described – the sweet smell of flowers at Mickey’s Country House or the cake baking in the oven at Minnie Mouse’s Country House were enticing as ever as we headed to Toontown Fair. The kids enjoyed the Imperial Summer Palaces and we enjoyed the “puns” which the Mouse Overlord has inserted into them…who knew such a serious rodent has a sense of humor…maybe he’s not that bad after all.
Bella and I have decided to offer ourselves to Goofy the Guard dog by being subjected to his malevolent torture device known as the “barnstormer”. A death trap car which tries to destroy one’s soul by throwing them into dangerous curves and hills – for a whole 30 seconds.
While we were risking our lives, Cheri & Jakey were getting fitted in sailor outfits to be a part of the crew of the “Miss Daisy”, Chairman Duck’s boat – only to be booted out due to Jakey’s love of bacon and inappropriate remarks about “Eagle Eye” Eeyore previously.
Narrowly escaping with our lives…again…we quickly ducked into the Imperial train to the main gate and made our escape (with almost all fingers and toes accounted for) to the lodge.
After a refreshing dip in the Imperial watering hole and a restful afternoon…for which thank the Empire to this day– we quickly got back to the Magic Kingdom for a sweet surprise.
As it happened, I arranged with the “powers that be” to be slaving away at the Wishes Dessert Party – and maybe even hope to view the fireworks from the terrace – however I could not divulge the surprise yet.
We ate dinner at Casey’s Corner - hot dogs & fries for all, while an Imperial Pianist played a magical piano that forced our children to dance like monkeys for others to be entertained...because that is what to be expected from an Imperial slave…no days off…no vacations…ever!
We made our way over to Tomorrowland’s Terrace were we checked in and got our Imperial bracelets. We were escorted over to the dessert buffet where a whole bunch of delectable delights were in reach…yet ...so far.
The torture the Empire puts us through has no bounds!
There were chocolate covered strawberries, canoles, various cheesecakes, tarts, brownies, cookies, truffles and the all enticing…Pistachio Crème Brulee; as well as coffee, tea, milk, various juices and, of course, chocolate milk.
And…to enhance our torturous servitude this was a buffet.
Yes, you read right…A DESSERT BUFFET…all desserts, none of that “good for you” stuff which ruined so many delicious meals.
We were escorted in and immediately went to see which trays need to be replaced only to see the Imperial staff whispering and cowering in horror. The were looking at our direction but they couldn’t be talking about us…the harmless soon-to-be-Imperial-slaves.
Could they?
Not at all of us…they have heard of Bella & Jakey’s acts of bravery and valor throughout the day – the way they defeated Pooh's Quarrelsome Quartet, outwitted the Sea Witch Ariel and survived the Fairies Hallway of Horrors.
Up until now they thought rumors of our adventures were part of the Rebel Forces Anti-Imperial propaganda or simply pure fiction such the legends about a Benevolent Dentist - Savior of Sea Life, or Brave Gaston - Protector of Villages, or Santa Sid - Fixer of Toys, or ...an African American President.
We were escorted to a honorary table and told to eat as our heart desires.
Boy did we eat... and then we ate some more.
At last the fireworks started and we got a celebratory and congratulatory prime spot right next to the railway...the party was also pretty empty so that might have been the cause as well.
However, we had one more hurdle to pass - at the beginning of the fireworks the Imperial forces sent an Imperial scout in the form of Tinkerbell to smoke out the new Imperial enemies.
We nervously watched the beautiful fireworks and breathed a sigh of relief when they were over without incident.
As we were leaving, I heard an Imperial Henchman whispering “PSSSTTTT”, and was suddenly thrust into a dark corner on the side of the bridge connection TomorrowLand and the main plaza.
What I heard put darkness upon me as if I was lost in the killing fields known as the “Hundred Acres Woods”.
“Beware the 17th of September” said the Imperial soothsayer, “where you will do battle with some of the Empire’s most sinister forces in a land named after a city of sin”.
He must have been talking about Hollywood Studios – a park renamed to forget the grandeur of yesteryear.
“Who should we prepare for?” - I asked.
“The Freighting Five” – he said has he backed away into the darkness.
The Freighting Five, as we all know consist of:
Commander Lightyear – General of the Imperial Clone Army
Sheriff Sinister - A law enforcer gone astray (legend has it he is Pinocchio reincarnated as he is supposedly made out of “wood”),
The “I”s - Two red elastic wearing domestic super powered beings whose name invokes such fear that they are never mentioned.
And the most sinister of the Freighting Five – the Imperial Janitor
At this point I was covered with cold chills; when Cheri asked me what was wrong, I told her about the conversation with the Imperial soothsayer when I noticed that she is slowly backing away.
“All I heard was 'fresh hot popcorn’” - she said.
Pictures at: http://www.travelpod.com/travelblogp.../YES/tpod.html
If we only knew the day ahead we would have rejoiced at our lucky stars - however we didn't...so we won't.
We had early kitchen duty at the Empire's Crystal Palace. We woke up early to do the customary morning ritual: Imperial coffee in the Imperial mug and watching the Imperial animals.
Then we had to wake up the poor kids and dragged their behinds to the Magic Kingdom…because that is what to be expected from an Imperial slave…no days off…no vacations…ever!
We took some pictures in an empty park…in case we don't see each other again…which is very likely because today we are going to serve Pooh, Protector of the Empire, and his court…an assignment which will surely end in one or more of us…perhaps all…mauled to death.
As we stood in line at the Crystal Palace…shaking in fear…Jackey suddenly noticed Tigger the Terrible inside…his excitement grew as he proclaimed "Tigger, Tigger".
Oh, the innocence of childhood…we couldn't bear...or is it bare...I'll go with bear, just to be safe...anyway...we couldn't bear to tell him what horrors await.
As we were escorted…to what we expected to be the kitchen…we were diverted to a table with full view of the castle.
Could it be the Princess Cinderella is keeping a grudge?
After all we did manage to get out of the royal kitchen duty from under her nose not once, but twice!
Did Cinderella ordered the Protector to maul us to death in front of a full view of the castle…so she cold enjoy the scene of carnage?
She could…I wouldn't put anything past a woman who treats her beloved step-family the way she did.
But the Quarrelsome Quartet of Pooh, Protector of the Empire, Tigger the Terrible, Piglet the Procrastinator and "Eagle Eye" Eeyore took their time. We got served our drinks quickly…must be because the Quartet like their food juicy... and were directed to fatten ourselves with a bunch of delicious delicacies afforded to us via a fattening table … or as the Empire refers to it…a buffet.
At first to visit our table was "Eagle Eye" Eeyore, who must have lost his appetite when Jakey insisted he was a "horse" and led the kids in a parade – obviously to gain his appetite back.
As fans of classic literature... visions of the Pied Piper of Hamlin ran through our heads... and we breathed a sigh of relief when our kids were returned. However, not true to his nickname "Eagle Eye" proceeded to the next table.
We were spared the horror which is known as Eeyore and were allowed to live a few more moments.
Next came Piglet the Procrastinator – sharp fangs and a corkscrew tail which could puncture a battleship. True to form Jakey saved us again by brazenly and bravely chewing on pieces of bacon one after the other until the pig couldn't stand it anymore (which pig I’m talking about remains to be seen) and left us alone.
Good job brave Sir Jacob.
However what happened next no-one could predicted, our table was visited by Tigger the Terrible – Terror of the Monorail. Our sweet Jakey was immediately enamored by the beast and gladly entered its claws.
The beast must have been as surprised as us…or maybe impressed by Jakey's past and present acts of bravery…and let him go.
We were shocked as we already started to mourn the tike.
But they left the worst for last –The Lord Protector of the Empire, Minister of Conquest and all around cuddly bear – Pooh!
We, again, looked at Jakey to save us all.
Using the tactics he perfected meeting Tigger the Terrible, Jakey attacked the gruesome bear with his charm and cuteness. Pooh was caught off guard and in his confusion and amazement led the kids, again, in a cheerful parade around the room to entice his appetite…so they’ll be tasty.
We didn’t wait to see what would happen; we grabbed our kids and left the Crystal Palace relieved and singing praise of Brave Sir Jacob to the tune made famous by an entrepreneurial and beloved young lady of years ago – Cruella DeVill.
As we left we, thought we heard an anguish scream of frustration and disappointment coming from the top floors of the infamous Imperial fortress.
Learning our lesson from days of yore we headed straight to Ariel’s grotto in order to pay our respects to the siren before she devour us whole. We were disappointed to find the line measured a mere 10 minutes to our imminent deaths.
We let the kids blissfully play in the splash ground while we stood in line trying to figure out a plan – alas no plan was formed in we were called in to the cave of the enchantress.
We expected a vile smell of human carcasses and dead fish, but to our surprise the cave was clean with the Ariel sitting on a rock, her fins intact and eyes glowing of maternal warm…to soften the flesh of little children.
What is now seen as a blessing from heaven, Bella & Jakey must have worked up a plan in the splash-ground because they turned up the charm and the one who has sunk many massive ships before has seemingly forgotten her devious plans and simply let us walk away.
Next we went to pay our respects to newest Imperial royalty – the Ferocious Fairies. Many Imperial slaves must have had the same thought because we stood in line for an hour, happily I might add, watching Imperial propaganda on a huge screen.
We had to check our calendars to make sure we didn’t go back in time to 1984...because of the propaganda...on the huge screen.
As we entered the room, we were told by an Imperial Donald Doctor...or is it Quack Doctor...I'm not sure...anyway, we were told that we will now be deformed to the size of a mere 5 inches as to not overshadow the Ferocious Fairies. Expecting excruciating pain we clung to each other proclaiming our love and ready to be transformed to these vile creatures.
However, this Frankensteinian process went through relatively painless, and only deformed myself…but I have lived a full life and G-d was gracious enough to give me a spare foot and nine spare fingers.
We paid our homage to the mighty fairies and fearlessly walked through the transformation hallway to regain our original size... even though I would have liked another inch or two...for the glory of the Empire.
To celebrate a joyful return to our proper size we honored the Empire by buying Isabella princess Minnie ears, Jakey a Buzz Lightyear hat, a picture frame and a magnet.
Simple joy as we felt today cannot be measured or described – the sweet smell of flowers at Mickey’s Country House or the cake baking in the oven at Minnie Mouse’s Country House were enticing as ever as we headed to Toontown Fair. The kids enjoyed the Imperial Summer Palaces and we enjoyed the “puns” which the Mouse Overlord has inserted into them…who knew such a serious rodent has a sense of humor…maybe he’s not that bad after all.
Bella and I have decided to offer ourselves to Goofy the Guard dog by being subjected to his malevolent torture device known as the “barnstormer”. A death trap car which tries to destroy one’s soul by throwing them into dangerous curves and hills – for a whole 30 seconds.
While we were risking our lives, Cheri & Jakey were getting fitted in sailor outfits to be a part of the crew of the “Miss Daisy”, Chairman Duck’s boat – only to be booted out due to Jakey’s love of bacon and inappropriate remarks about “Eagle Eye” Eeyore previously.
Narrowly escaping with our lives…again…we quickly ducked into the Imperial train to the main gate and made our escape (with almost all fingers and toes accounted for) to the lodge.
After a refreshing dip in the Imperial watering hole and a restful afternoon…for which thank the Empire to this day– we quickly got back to the Magic Kingdom for a sweet surprise.
As it happened, I arranged with the “powers that be” to be slaving away at the Wishes Dessert Party – and maybe even hope to view the fireworks from the terrace – however I could not divulge the surprise yet.
We ate dinner at Casey’s Corner - hot dogs & fries for all, while an Imperial Pianist played a magical piano that forced our children to dance like monkeys for others to be entertained...because that is what to be expected from an Imperial slave…no days off…no vacations…ever!
We made our way over to Tomorrowland’s Terrace were we checked in and got our Imperial bracelets. We were escorted over to the dessert buffet where a whole bunch of delectable delights were in reach…yet ...so far.
The torture the Empire puts us through has no bounds!
There were chocolate covered strawberries, canoles, various cheesecakes, tarts, brownies, cookies, truffles and the all enticing…Pistachio Crème Brulee; as well as coffee, tea, milk, various juices and, of course, chocolate milk.
And…to enhance our torturous servitude this was a buffet.
Yes, you read right…A DESSERT BUFFET…all desserts, none of that “good for you” stuff which ruined so many delicious meals.
We were escorted in and immediately went to see which trays need to be replaced only to see the Imperial staff whispering and cowering in horror. The were looking at our direction but they couldn’t be talking about us…the harmless soon-to-be-Imperial-slaves.
Could they?
Not at all of us…they have heard of Bella & Jakey’s acts of bravery and valor throughout the day – the way they defeated Pooh's Quarrelsome Quartet, outwitted the Sea Witch Ariel and survived the Fairies Hallway of Horrors.
Up until now they thought rumors of our adventures were part of the Rebel Forces Anti-Imperial propaganda or simply pure fiction such the legends about a Benevolent Dentist - Savior of Sea Life, or Brave Gaston - Protector of Villages, or Santa Sid - Fixer of Toys, or ...an African American President.
We were escorted to a honorary table and told to eat as our heart desires.
Boy did we eat... and then we ate some more.
At last the fireworks started and we got a celebratory and congratulatory prime spot right next to the railway...the party was also pretty empty so that might have been the cause as well.
However, we had one more hurdle to pass - at the beginning of the fireworks the Imperial forces sent an Imperial scout in the form of Tinkerbell to smoke out the new Imperial enemies.
We nervously watched the beautiful fireworks and breathed a sigh of relief when they were over without incident.
As we were leaving, I heard an Imperial Henchman whispering “PSSSTTTT”, and was suddenly thrust into a dark corner on the side of the bridge connection TomorrowLand and the main plaza.
What I heard put darkness upon me as if I was lost in the killing fields known as the “Hundred Acres Woods”.
“Beware the 17th of September” said the Imperial soothsayer, “where you will do battle with some of the Empire’s most sinister forces in a land named after a city of sin”.
He must have been talking about Hollywood Studios – a park renamed to forget the grandeur of yesteryear.
“Who should we prepare for?” - I asked.
“The Freighting Five” – he said has he backed away into the darkness.
The Freighting Five, as we all know consist of:
Commander Lightyear – General of the Imperial Clone Army
Sheriff Sinister - A law enforcer gone astray (legend has it he is Pinocchio reincarnated as he is supposedly made out of “wood”),
The “I”s - Two red elastic wearing domestic super powered beings whose name invokes such fear that they are never mentioned.
And the most sinister of the Freighting Five – the Imperial Janitor
At this point I was covered with cold chills; when Cheri asked me what was wrong, I told her about the conversation with the Imperial soothsayer when I noticed that she is slowly backing away.
“All I heard was 'fresh hot popcorn’” - she said.
Pictures at: http://www.travelpod.com/travelblogp.../YES/tpod.html
Oct 13th, 2009, 03:13 AM
#43
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Hollywood Studios - Darth Children
After the excitement, exhilaration and nervousness of the soothsayer's words it was difficult to sleep.
Isabella and I woke up early for the Imperial morning routine (coffee, mug, animals etc.). While we were out we happened upon an Imperial employee who must have heard about our brave exploits and helped us learn more about antelopes.
Up until now Isabella called the beasts "cantaloupes" and my explanations that the main difference between "cantaloupes" and "antelopes" is that cantaloupes are served ripe, while antelopes are good medium rare... were not received well.
The Imperial employee chuckled...in agreement I'd like to think...or maybe she was just being polite...who knows...but my little Isabella's reaction broke my heart.
Her stunned look shocked me...for I thought that the poisonous Politically Correct movement which is sweeping the Empire has gotten a hold of my precious and destroyed her fertile mind before I could intervene...then I remembered she's only four (AND A HALF!!!) and most likely doesn't get her father's dark, sarcastic...yet often delicious...sense of humor.
Isabella found it fascinating to learn about antelopes while watching them and so did I. Actually we learned something about animals, while watching them, everyday...take that institutionalized system which vilifies parents for taking children out of school to save a few bucks on a family vacation...so we can afford to pay taxes...to keep the schools going...but that's a different Empire altogether.
By the time we got back to the room, Jakey was up as well and asking to go see the animals as well. As a prize for his bravery yesterday, I took him and Isabella for another round…or was it to give Cheri a bit of a break…I'm not sure.
We finally got enough courage to get on the bus to Disney's Hollywood Studios, to get in the right mind set, Jakey threw a tantrum right there on the bus…what a warrior the little guy is!
After we successfully passed through the Imperial uniformed guard search and shook in our boots during the fingerprint security screening we were bombarded with the first Imperial attack. A motorized tank…disguised as a high school float…was roaming around the park announcing the imminent Imperial apocalypse... only instead of the usual Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" they played some incompressible melodies which are sure to scare all and any Imperial slaves, guests and enemies.
One might call it a High School Musical (3?) floating tank.
We were dumbfounded...just our luck...Apocalypse...Now?
The motorized tank…disguised as a high school float…even had High School Musical (3?) cheerleaders on it...the Empire does everything in style, that's for sure.
I'm can only imagine that Col. Kurtz & Captain Willard would only dream of cheerleaders in the jungles of VietNam.
The first thing we did in Hollywood Studios is to get a FastPass for Toy Story Mania…because you never know…the Empire might have a benevolent moment before sentencing us to eternal servitude.
Our next mission was to find Commander Lightyear and the illusive Sinister Sherriff, but before we could begin our search we had to duck and cover due to the Commander's Green Army Men minions who were scattered around the park.
We walked into a trap.
A chamber of horrors filled with oversize toy boxes, explosives and other torture devices. As we were brought to a standstill with revulsion, our kids didn't miss a beat, and Isabella…with the "chutzpa" that only a four (AND A HALF!!!) year-old could master…brazenly walked through all the traps with her Princess Minnie ears on while Jakey…still confident from his earlier achievements… audaciously strapped himself to the explosive rocket, an homage to the Valiant Sir Sid who tried to save the universe by sending the Imperial tormentor into oblivion.
As we continued through the maze, outsmarting each trap, we saw that the Imperial Commander and Sinister Sheriff has set us a trap reminiscent of Bruce Lee’s "Game of Death" where the hero has to go through several levels of opponents in a pagoda only to face a 7 foot giant at the top (played by basketball great and Imperial rebel Kareem Abdul-Jabbar).
At the end of the trap, top of the pagoda if you will, waited not one – but two 7 foot giants:
Buzz Lightyear - Commander of the Imperial Clone Army and battery hog
Sherriff Woody – Enemy to collectors and pizza parlors everywhere
… behind them a carnage scene of child’s bed being attacked by a monstrous dinosaur and killer pig.
As we stood there contemplating our first move Isabella simply went up to the two Philistines…who were caught off guard by her brazen disregard for safety as well as charmed by her Princess Minnie ears…handed them her autograph books and occupied them while Jakey was sneaking around the perimeter in order to execute a flanking maneuver…reminiscent of the successful example illustrated by the fearsome warrior Shan-Yu in his attempt to unify China, only to be defeated by his only weakness...a soft heart...when he took pity upon a foolishly insane girl who kept talking to an imaginary dragon and pretending she's a boy.
I will spare you the gruesome details of this ghastly battle – let’s just say that Isabella and Jackey were victorious.
As we exited the bed-of-battle, Jakey, in one last show of unbelievable bravery, turned around and spoken words, which were so often the last ones heard by many victims: "To Infinity...and Beyond!!!"
Needing to rest from the hard battle we entered The Magic of Disney Animation (Daddy's favorite) where magnificent original and not-so-original art from some famous movies (mainly Snow White) were on display. After appreciating the art, destroying the Empire’s propaganda by recording our voices over the cartoons and other such fine pastimes we noticed the Mouse Overlord has came down to the people, in his wizard’s garb, so they can pay homage to his majesty…or get his autograph…I’m not sure.
We slowly backed away...because we are a peacefull family...or we were just tired from another fight...or didn't want to stand in a long line...again, I'm not sure.
On our way out, we encountered the "I"’s – two supreme beings who disguise themselves as a suburban family to destroy as many families as they can while wrecking havoc on the insurance industry.
As Jacob was buzzed (pun intended) from his battle – young brave Isabella decided to take on the challenge herself. She used a tactic familiar to many of the fairer sex – while batting her beautiful blue eyes, throwing back a lock of blond hair, and smiling with lips red as rose she won the battle with kindness and smiles. A tactic which took Mr. & Mrs. Incredible by surprise and melted that frozen heart of theirs – to Sameul L. Jackson’s dismay.
We left the Animation Tour hurriedly – not before stopping to admire a bunch of honors the Empire has received when the rich and famous get together to give awards to... the rich and famous. The awards were shaped as a golden man holding a stick, placed on film reels and are named after…what I believe…is a hot dog – the Oscar.
Once outside we breathed a sigh of relief, but we walked around the corner we saw a group of Imperial slaves standing in line – shivering in fear.
Yes, the most horrible creature of the Fearsome Five has come to do battle – the Imperial Janitor known to young and old alike as "Handy Manny".
Being that Isabella was exhausted from her awesome battle with the "I"s…or refused to get out of the stroller…I’m not sure which… Jakey bravely decided to take this formidable opponent all by himself.
As we got to front of the line, Jakey – again – used the sneaky "autograph tactic” while regaling the Imperial janitor with his encyclopedic knowledge of the TV show "Home Improvement" – a show favored by Handy Manny due to the remarkable likeness of Tim the Toolman to Buzz Lightyear. Before Jakey delivered the final blow, he told Handy Manny how, when helping Daddy, the job takes 4, sometimes even 5, times longer due to his help.
The Janitor was so impressed he let down his guard... which is when Jakey replaced the Janitor's power drill with one of his own – a cursed toy carrying the image of Handy Manny himself which seem to endlessly break until repaired – only to break again.
We have defeated the Fearsome Five – and all before lunch.
To celebrate we went to see Muppet*Vision 3-D but we stopped to appreciate the Star Wars area of the park – where the Imperial Rebel Forces bestowed upon our beloved children the honorary title of “Do Allow Retribution To Him/Her-self” or DARTH – a title, which normally takes years of practice to achieve.
From now on they will be known as Darth Bellissima and Darth Jacamo.
What an honor – we were speechless.
We had an honorary seat at the Muppet*Vision 3-D theater, a movie which shows, once again, the adventures of a selfless, talented and gullible female pig in search of honorable employment, while being outmaneuvered at every turn by a sly, slick and depraved show-biz frog and his minions.
As we walked out of the theater we happened upon the Imperial transport known as "Lightning McQueen" and another transport vehicle called "Mater". Darth Jacamo, who had enough of flirting with princesses, hurried over...
Patience Young Jacamo....
Hmmmm? Hmmmm!
In a public, and might I add humiliating, display of raw emotions and victorious glee Darth Jacamo turned his Commander Buzzyear hat backwards and took off his shirt to pose victorious over Imperial transport Mater while flexing...in what now has become part of Disney’s lore…the “Guns of Geppetto”
We made our way back to Toy Story Mania, and were given an honored seat immediately....or was it the FastPass...I'm not sure. Toy Story Mania is an excellent ride and let us all take out our frustrations on Commander Lightyear, the Sinister Sheriff and their gang of outlaws and criminals.
After the ride...to show our supremacy and our total disregard to the Empire... we got more FastPasses and had Darth Bellissima give them out to another family that was about to wait in line.
We left the park, as we had a previous engagement for Darth Bellissima with the Mad Hatter at the Grand Floridian - an event which is known as the "Wonderland Tea Party". We took the bus and got to the Grand Floridian just in time to watch the magnanimous Mad Hatter getting ready to entertain the little ladies.
To our horror, we watched as the party was taken over by Alice, a little girl who is known for having drug induced hallucinations...who would write such a story and then say "I think this will be educational"?
Now, we live by the motto ("what's a motto?" - "Nothing, what's the motto with you?") "Live and Let Live" but an caveat of that is that you need to leave us out of your life. Yet here we are, trusting our little girl to this drug addict and her angry friend...or is it crazy friend?
As Darth Bellissima was using an old Jedi mind trick to defend herself against the constant barrage of mushrooms, talking flowers and smoking insects (later she confided in us that she was imagining the brave Scar trying to defend the Pride Lands against his dictator brother) we stepped out to scout the Imperial architectural marvel known as “The Grand Floridian”…as well as have a bite to eat…now that I think back... it was definitely to eat…
We walked around the resort to Gasparilla Grill & Games. The one thing both Cheri and I thought was “glad we didn’t stay here”; we would have to watch the kids like hawks as there are too many things to break. The lunch at Gasparilla was probably one of the best Imperial Quick Serve meals we had that week…maybe because they heard of our adventures at defeating the Empire.
As we went back to get our beloved daughter we had to prove our ownership of her by providing the Imperial Tea Masters with our payment receipt (which we got before she entered)…we, of course did so but for a moment we hesitated… because we could save serious money on the air-fare back...but we're not that cheap (how dare you call us "cheap"?).
We walked into the room the horrid smell of cupcakes and frosting entered our nostrils and to our horror we noticed our poor Darth Bellissima slumped on the table…
did she eat any magic mushrooms?
Blue pills?
Red Pills?
What have they done to our little princess?
Just as Darth Jacamo was warming up the "Guns of Geppetto" and about to attack using a secret Ninja move he has picked up watching one-too-many times the dance of King Louie...a move which will set an enemy on "man’s-red-fire"... the girls woke up and yelled... in what seemed to us as Imperial dictation...“Surprise”.
In one final blow, the Empire has given our little peanut “gifts” for us to take back…because we were Imperial slaves whose backs are built for hard-labor…flowers and a mug she decorated herself…artifacts Mrs. Crabapple herself would have been proud of (oops…wrong Empire).
To add insult to injury…no lunch at the Wonderland Tea Party – just a cupcake.
Breathing a sigh of relief, again, we made it back to the Animal Kingdom Lodge via the monorail / bus route and got into the Imperial watering hole. Darth Jacamo kept on throwing tantrums…due to the adrenalin pumping through his veins from today’s events…or because he’s two…I’m not sure.
After dinner at The Mara, Cheri took Darth Jacamo to bed while Darth Bellissima and Daddy enjoyed story time next to the fire pit, only to be filmed for the "Imperial Most Wanted" TV show (they claim it was for “stock footage”, but we know the truth)....
...for tomorrow we will be conquering heroes.
Pictures at: http://www.travelpod.com/travelblogp.../YES/tpod.html
After the excitement, exhilaration and nervousness of the soothsayer's words it was difficult to sleep.
Isabella and I woke up early for the Imperial morning routine (coffee, mug, animals etc.). While we were out we happened upon an Imperial employee who must have heard about our brave exploits and helped us learn more about antelopes.
Up until now Isabella called the beasts "cantaloupes" and my explanations that the main difference between "cantaloupes" and "antelopes" is that cantaloupes are served ripe, while antelopes are good medium rare... were not received well.
The Imperial employee chuckled...in agreement I'd like to think...or maybe she was just being polite...who knows...but my little Isabella's reaction broke my heart.
Her stunned look shocked me...for I thought that the poisonous Politically Correct movement which is sweeping the Empire has gotten a hold of my precious and destroyed her fertile mind before I could intervene...then I remembered she's only four (AND A HALF!!!) and most likely doesn't get her father's dark, sarcastic...yet often delicious...sense of humor.
Isabella found it fascinating to learn about antelopes while watching them and so did I. Actually we learned something about animals, while watching them, everyday...take that institutionalized system which vilifies parents for taking children out of school to save a few bucks on a family vacation...so we can afford to pay taxes...to keep the schools going...but that's a different Empire altogether.
By the time we got back to the room, Jakey was up as well and asking to go see the animals as well. As a prize for his bravery yesterday, I took him and Isabella for another round…or was it to give Cheri a bit of a break…I'm not sure.
We finally got enough courage to get on the bus to Disney's Hollywood Studios, to get in the right mind set, Jakey threw a tantrum right there on the bus…what a warrior the little guy is!
After we successfully passed through the Imperial uniformed guard search and shook in our boots during the fingerprint security screening we were bombarded with the first Imperial attack. A motorized tank…disguised as a high school float…was roaming around the park announcing the imminent Imperial apocalypse... only instead of the usual Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" they played some incompressible melodies which are sure to scare all and any Imperial slaves, guests and enemies.
One might call it a High School Musical (3?) floating tank.
We were dumbfounded...just our luck...Apocalypse...Now?
The motorized tank…disguised as a high school float…even had High School Musical (3?) cheerleaders on it...the Empire does everything in style, that's for sure.
I'm can only imagine that Col. Kurtz & Captain Willard would only dream of cheerleaders in the jungles of VietNam.
The first thing we did in Hollywood Studios is to get a FastPass for Toy Story Mania…because you never know…the Empire might have a benevolent moment before sentencing us to eternal servitude.
Our next mission was to find Commander Lightyear and the illusive Sinister Sherriff, but before we could begin our search we had to duck and cover due to the Commander's Green Army Men minions who were scattered around the park.
We walked into a trap.
A chamber of horrors filled with oversize toy boxes, explosives and other torture devices. As we were brought to a standstill with revulsion, our kids didn't miss a beat, and Isabella…with the "chutzpa" that only a four (AND A HALF!!!) year-old could master…brazenly walked through all the traps with her Princess Minnie ears on while Jakey…still confident from his earlier achievements… audaciously strapped himself to the explosive rocket, an homage to the Valiant Sir Sid who tried to save the universe by sending the Imperial tormentor into oblivion.
As we continued through the maze, outsmarting each trap, we saw that the Imperial Commander and Sinister Sheriff has set us a trap reminiscent of Bruce Lee’s "Game of Death" where the hero has to go through several levels of opponents in a pagoda only to face a 7 foot giant at the top (played by basketball great and Imperial rebel Kareem Abdul-Jabbar).
At the end of the trap, top of the pagoda if you will, waited not one – but two 7 foot giants:
Buzz Lightyear - Commander of the Imperial Clone Army and battery hog
Sherriff Woody – Enemy to collectors and pizza parlors everywhere
… behind them a carnage scene of child’s bed being attacked by a monstrous dinosaur and killer pig.
As we stood there contemplating our first move Isabella simply went up to the two Philistines…who were caught off guard by her brazen disregard for safety as well as charmed by her Princess Minnie ears…handed them her autograph books and occupied them while Jakey was sneaking around the perimeter in order to execute a flanking maneuver…reminiscent of the successful example illustrated by the fearsome warrior Shan-Yu in his attempt to unify China, only to be defeated by his only weakness...a soft heart...when he took pity upon a foolishly insane girl who kept talking to an imaginary dragon and pretending she's a boy.
I will spare you the gruesome details of this ghastly battle – let’s just say that Isabella and Jackey were victorious.
As we exited the bed-of-battle, Jakey, in one last show of unbelievable bravery, turned around and spoken words, which were so often the last ones heard by many victims: "To Infinity...and Beyond!!!"
Needing to rest from the hard battle we entered The Magic of Disney Animation (Daddy's favorite) where magnificent original and not-so-original art from some famous movies (mainly Snow White) were on display. After appreciating the art, destroying the Empire’s propaganda by recording our voices over the cartoons and other such fine pastimes we noticed the Mouse Overlord has came down to the people, in his wizard’s garb, so they can pay homage to his majesty…or get his autograph…I’m not sure.
We slowly backed away...because we are a peacefull family...or we were just tired from another fight...or didn't want to stand in a long line...again, I'm not sure.
On our way out, we encountered the "I"’s – two supreme beings who disguise themselves as a suburban family to destroy as many families as they can while wrecking havoc on the insurance industry.
As Jacob was buzzed (pun intended) from his battle – young brave Isabella decided to take on the challenge herself. She used a tactic familiar to many of the fairer sex – while batting her beautiful blue eyes, throwing back a lock of blond hair, and smiling with lips red as rose she won the battle with kindness and smiles. A tactic which took Mr. & Mrs. Incredible by surprise and melted that frozen heart of theirs – to Sameul L. Jackson’s dismay.
We left the Animation Tour hurriedly – not before stopping to admire a bunch of honors the Empire has received when the rich and famous get together to give awards to... the rich and famous. The awards were shaped as a golden man holding a stick, placed on film reels and are named after…what I believe…is a hot dog – the Oscar.
Once outside we breathed a sigh of relief, but we walked around the corner we saw a group of Imperial slaves standing in line – shivering in fear.
Yes, the most horrible creature of the Fearsome Five has come to do battle – the Imperial Janitor known to young and old alike as "Handy Manny".
Being that Isabella was exhausted from her awesome battle with the "I"s…or refused to get out of the stroller…I’m not sure which… Jakey bravely decided to take this formidable opponent all by himself.
As we got to front of the line, Jakey – again – used the sneaky "autograph tactic” while regaling the Imperial janitor with his encyclopedic knowledge of the TV show "Home Improvement" – a show favored by Handy Manny due to the remarkable likeness of Tim the Toolman to Buzz Lightyear. Before Jakey delivered the final blow, he told Handy Manny how, when helping Daddy, the job takes 4, sometimes even 5, times longer due to his help.
The Janitor was so impressed he let down his guard... which is when Jakey replaced the Janitor's power drill with one of his own – a cursed toy carrying the image of Handy Manny himself which seem to endlessly break until repaired – only to break again.
We have defeated the Fearsome Five – and all before lunch.
To celebrate we went to see Muppet*Vision 3-D but we stopped to appreciate the Star Wars area of the park – where the Imperial Rebel Forces bestowed upon our beloved children the honorary title of “Do Allow Retribution To Him/Her-self” or DARTH – a title, which normally takes years of practice to achieve.
From now on they will be known as Darth Bellissima and Darth Jacamo.
What an honor – we were speechless.
We had an honorary seat at the Muppet*Vision 3-D theater, a movie which shows, once again, the adventures of a selfless, talented and gullible female pig in search of honorable employment, while being outmaneuvered at every turn by a sly, slick and depraved show-biz frog and his minions.
As we walked out of the theater we happened upon the Imperial transport known as "Lightning McQueen" and another transport vehicle called "Mater". Darth Jacamo, who had enough of flirting with princesses, hurried over...
Patience Young Jacamo....
Hmmmm? Hmmmm!
In a public, and might I add humiliating, display of raw emotions and victorious glee Darth Jacamo turned his Commander Buzzyear hat backwards and took off his shirt to pose victorious over Imperial transport Mater while flexing...in what now has become part of Disney’s lore…the “Guns of Geppetto”
We made our way back to Toy Story Mania, and were given an honored seat immediately....or was it the FastPass...I'm not sure. Toy Story Mania is an excellent ride and let us all take out our frustrations on Commander Lightyear, the Sinister Sheriff and their gang of outlaws and criminals.
After the ride...to show our supremacy and our total disregard to the Empire... we got more FastPasses and had Darth Bellissima give them out to another family that was about to wait in line.
We left the park, as we had a previous engagement for Darth Bellissima with the Mad Hatter at the Grand Floridian - an event which is known as the "Wonderland Tea Party". We took the bus and got to the Grand Floridian just in time to watch the magnanimous Mad Hatter getting ready to entertain the little ladies.
To our horror, we watched as the party was taken over by Alice, a little girl who is known for having drug induced hallucinations...who would write such a story and then say "I think this will be educational"?
Now, we live by the motto ("what's a motto?" - "Nothing, what's the motto with you?") "Live and Let Live" but an caveat of that is that you need to leave us out of your life. Yet here we are, trusting our little girl to this drug addict and her angry friend...or is it crazy friend?
As Darth Bellissima was using an old Jedi mind trick to defend herself against the constant barrage of mushrooms, talking flowers and smoking insects (later she confided in us that she was imagining the brave Scar trying to defend the Pride Lands against his dictator brother) we stepped out to scout the Imperial architectural marvel known as “The Grand Floridian”…as well as have a bite to eat…now that I think back... it was definitely to eat…
We walked around the resort to Gasparilla Grill & Games. The one thing both Cheri and I thought was “glad we didn’t stay here”; we would have to watch the kids like hawks as there are too many things to break. The lunch at Gasparilla was probably one of the best Imperial Quick Serve meals we had that week…maybe because they heard of our adventures at defeating the Empire.
As we went back to get our beloved daughter we had to prove our ownership of her by providing the Imperial Tea Masters with our payment receipt (which we got before she entered)…we, of course did so but for a moment we hesitated… because we could save serious money on the air-fare back...but we're not that cheap (how dare you call us "cheap"?).
We walked into the room the horrid smell of cupcakes and frosting entered our nostrils and to our horror we noticed our poor Darth Bellissima slumped on the table…
did she eat any magic mushrooms?
Blue pills?
Red Pills?
What have they done to our little princess?
Just as Darth Jacamo was warming up the "Guns of Geppetto" and about to attack using a secret Ninja move he has picked up watching one-too-many times the dance of King Louie...a move which will set an enemy on "man’s-red-fire"... the girls woke up and yelled... in what seemed to us as Imperial dictation...“Surprise”.
In one final blow, the Empire has given our little peanut “gifts” for us to take back…because we were Imperial slaves whose backs are built for hard-labor…flowers and a mug she decorated herself…artifacts Mrs. Crabapple herself would have been proud of (oops…wrong Empire).
To add insult to injury…no lunch at the Wonderland Tea Party – just a cupcake.
Breathing a sigh of relief, again, we made it back to the Animal Kingdom Lodge via the monorail / bus route and got into the Imperial watering hole. Darth Jacamo kept on throwing tantrums…due to the adrenalin pumping through his veins from today’s events…or because he’s two…I’m not sure.
After dinner at The Mara, Cheri took Darth Jacamo to bed while Darth Bellissima and Daddy enjoyed story time next to the fire pit, only to be filmed for the "Imperial Most Wanted" TV show (they claim it was for “stock footage”, but we know the truth)....
...for tomorrow we will be conquering heroes.
Pictures at: http://www.travelpod.com/travelblogp.../YES/tpod.html
Oct 13th, 2009, 05:16 AM
#44
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Cute report..I suspect the FIRST one was probably written back in the 1950's when Disney opened in Anaheim..it is amazing that so many people have actually visited these places and SURVIVED....of course, there's always drugs, politics, and radio broadcasting...
Oct 14th, 2009, 05:23 AM
#45
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Magic Kingdom-Veni,Vidi,Vici or Huey Dewey & Louie
Woke up exhausted after difficult day yesterday, but felt a freedom I haven't felt in five, or even six days. Started the now all too familiar morning ritual of Imperial coffee (which tasted sweeter), in the Imperial mug (which seemed cleaner) and watching the Imperial zebras (which seemed... stripier…?).
It seemed our exploits over the this week have rubbed the Empire the wrong way because when I got back to our Imperial slave quarters there was an envelope of our door notifying us that we are released as of tomorrow…I believe they called it "check out"
"Check out" what?
We ignored the Empire's dire warning…after all…we are the victors; but we didn't know where to celebrate our monumental achievements.
Sea World?
Universal?
Gatorland?
Discovery Cove?
Suddenly we had a brilliant idea…how about the "happiest place on earth".
So we headed to the Magic Kingdom.
From some reason it seemed easier to pass through the Imperial uniformed guards and happy-go-lucky Imperial henchman…I bet they heard about our amazing feats...or maybe it was Jakey's flexing the "Guns of Geppetto...or could have been the minimal crowd"...I'm not sure.
After taking a few celebratory photos in front of the Imperial fortress we headed to AdventureLand to rejoice with our mates…and a bottle of rum.
On the way we stopped for a magic carpet ride at The Magic Carpets of Aladdin , where kind "Jaffar The Just" saw it fit to spray us with holly water being delivered by holly golden gilded camels.
Still rejoicing from being honored by his Justiceness – we moved onward noticing a commotion ahead. It was the street urchin Aladdin trying to steal some candy from a baby…or signing autographs…who knows at this point.
Being true and humble victors we turned our backs on sad Aladdin and headed over to our see our chums. As we crossed into Adventureland Darth Bellissima suddenly spits out "I haven't met Mr. Smee yet".
Mr. Smee?
Cheri and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders, only to be dumbfounded a few moments later when we turned the corner to see…Captain Hook – Master of the Seven Seas and…Mr. Smee – First mate and navigator extraordinaire.
Is the Force so strong with Darth Bellissima that she can see the future?
Praise Palpatine.
Of course Darth Hook and Darth Smee took immediately to the kids, no doubt they have heard high-seas tales of their legendary journeys and epic battles with the Empire's minions.
After bidding farewell to Masters of the Seas we headed over to the Jungle Cruise – a cheesy yet always fun adventure and the kids got a kick from seeing all the animals….
….wait a minute….
...we were seeing real animals all week long and they are excited about fake ones…could it be that the Empire has had the last laugh?
We barely escaped the Jungle Cruise with all our limbs in place (minus those lost at the Fairies Frankenstenian Transformation Process) after an evil robot elephant tried to spray us with acid...or water…we're not sure...lucky for us our Imperial guide was quick to react and saved the whole boat.
To give credit were credit is due, the Imperial guide has saved us numerous times during the short cruise…maybe he was an Imperial rebel in disguise…or maybe he was intimidated by Jakey's "Guns of Geppetto...or maybe he didn't know who we were….no, that can’t be it.
Maybe,... just maybe... he valued his eyebrows and simply ignored the celebrities on his boat yet; a more plausible option is Darth Bellissima’s new-found mind altering powers…yes…that’s the one I’m going to go with.
As one would have it, we found ourselves standing next to the friendliest place in the Kingdom – The Pirates of the Caribbean.
With a cheerful and rowdy "Arrrr" we readily entered the attraction – being treated as victors we simply marched to the head of the line…after parking the stroller…and took the next boat to be enter the town in a celebratory procession headed by the famous and kind Captain Jack…or was it Captain Morgan?
As, what we perceived to be a one-of-a-kind honor...or more if you ride again... we were greeted by the merciful pirate Davy Jones…even though we were a bit disappointed he didn’t jump into a heart wrenching rendition of "Last Train to Clarksville".
We made our way to “It’s a Small World"… an mysterious ride which has transfixed the family into a trans-like zone where we imagined a world without lawyers and full of rainbows…oooh…was it me or did everyone feel that cold shutter?
Before “It’s a Small World” I felt something was wrong, because the ride was empty and I went to get FastPasses for Peter Pan's Flight only to come back and find…a line.
A line!!!!
I have never been so humiliated in my life, the wife and kids were in tears somberly singing “after all - a small world - it is, after all - a small world - it is…Hmmmm? Hmmmm!"
Malevolent Master Yoda at work no doubt.
As the head of the family and a responsible parent I did the only thing I could think of…I blamed Darth Bellissima for not using her new-found powers...looking into the future and warning us of the impending abomination to come.
As we got off the ride, we were felt our knees buckle…a combination of complications from the nefarious Fairies Frankenstenian Transformation Process and the knee-crushing boat ride we just endured – which made us appreciate the generous “airline-leg-room” we will soon be forced to endure.
After another round of Peter Pan’s Flight, we ate some lunch at the Friars Nook and... had some ice-cream. Darth Jacamo jumped at the opportunity to devour a Mouse Overlord -like ice-cream while Darth Bellissima was a bit more refined and ate a pink Popsicle, reminiscent of her battle the previous day with The Incredibles: Team of Super Powered Domestic Gods.
Even though Darth Jacamo devoured his Overlord ice-cream, he wasn’t quick enough to eat it before the Imperial sun melted it and Mouse Overlord likeness ended as a molten mass on the floor.
Thinking about the irony of the situation we sheepishly laughed as we clean up the mass…without pointing and singing as is the habit of a famous occultist imposing terror and discipline on kids in the form of a mysterious nanny...this time not because we are Imperial slaves but because that is the example we want to serve our kids…so when they grow up they can become benevolent Emperors and not count on their servants for their every whim…otherwise they’ll end up living a delusional life in a French castle as an internal beast tears them apart in their solitude….
...wait a second…could it be that the famous story is a metaphor and not French history?
At last we ventured out and to the Animal Kingdom Lodge for what will be known as the “Watering Hole Farewell Tour”.
After a restful and uneventful break we came back to the Magic Kingdom for a wonderful surprise. A huge party was thrown in our honor, but in order to throw off Commander Lightyear and the Clone Army it was named “Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party”.
We were in the seventh heaven.
The party was spectacular, all the Imperial rebels came out from hiding:
Maleficent – Protector of villages from sleeping curses
The Queen – Hero to senior citizens and apple orchard farmers
Curella DeVill – Entrepreneur and President & CEO of "Coats for the Poor" charity
Jaffar – Homeland Security Domestic Adviser
Queen of Hearts – Skillful brain surgeon
Captain Hook – Commander and Navigator
Lady Tremaine & Stepsisters – Beauty & kindness unmatched….
Even the lovely Ursula – psychotherapist supreme who has helped thousands of “poor, unfortunate souls” – was rumored to be in area.
Celebratory candy was given to kids of all ages…and not the cheap candy your pedestrian neighbors give children who were so unlucky as to end on their door step…real quality stuff.
Fog machines were everywhere giving the park a "special" aura about it.
Dance parties started almost spontaneously...unless they were planned... where…for a change…the Empire's demi-gods were finally made to come down from the top of the Imperial fortress and mingle with ...hold your nose…commoners and Imperial slaves.
Even all of the Imperial Miners took a break from whistling and working so they can join Enchantress Snow White – enemy of the elderly and enslaver of forest animals – for a once in a lifetime...or more if you go more often...appearance.
The Imperial fortress, for once...or more if you go more often...changed its colorful scheme…which has put many children under it’s alluring spell…for more subdued tones which undue the wicked hypnosis caused by their predecessor’s pallet.
After the spectacular fireworks, exploding to the tunes of the fore-mentioned heroes we were on our way to get a good night’s rest.
Before we hit the sheets we packed…as the kids were on the bed either sleeping or watching TV…it never even occurred t them to use their new Jedi mind trick powers to help us lift the suitcases.
For tomorrow will be our last day and unbeknown to us the Empire had one more trick up it’s sleeves…
Pictures at: http://www.travelpod.com/travelblogp.../YES/tpod.html
Woke up exhausted after difficult day yesterday, but felt a freedom I haven't felt in five, or even six days. Started the now all too familiar morning ritual of Imperial coffee (which tasted sweeter), in the Imperial mug (which seemed cleaner) and watching the Imperial zebras (which seemed... stripier…?).
It seemed our exploits over the this week have rubbed the Empire the wrong way because when I got back to our Imperial slave quarters there was an envelope of our door notifying us that we are released as of tomorrow…I believe they called it "check out"
"Check out" what?
We ignored the Empire's dire warning…after all…we are the victors; but we didn't know where to celebrate our monumental achievements.
Sea World?
Universal?
Gatorland?
Discovery Cove?
Suddenly we had a brilliant idea…how about the "happiest place on earth".
So we headed to the Magic Kingdom.
From some reason it seemed easier to pass through the Imperial uniformed guards and happy-go-lucky Imperial henchman…I bet they heard about our amazing feats...or maybe it was Jakey's flexing the "Guns of Geppetto...or could have been the minimal crowd"...I'm not sure.
After taking a few celebratory photos in front of the Imperial fortress we headed to AdventureLand to rejoice with our mates…and a bottle of rum.
On the way we stopped for a magic carpet ride at The Magic Carpets of Aladdin , where kind "Jaffar The Just" saw it fit to spray us with holly water being delivered by holly golden gilded camels.
Still rejoicing from being honored by his Justiceness – we moved onward noticing a commotion ahead. It was the street urchin Aladdin trying to steal some candy from a baby…or signing autographs…who knows at this point.
Being true and humble victors we turned our backs on sad Aladdin and headed over to our see our chums. As we crossed into Adventureland Darth Bellissima suddenly spits out "I haven't met Mr. Smee yet".
Mr. Smee?
Cheri and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders, only to be dumbfounded a few moments later when we turned the corner to see…Captain Hook – Master of the Seven Seas and…Mr. Smee – First mate and navigator extraordinaire.
Is the Force so strong with Darth Bellissima that she can see the future?
Praise Palpatine.
Of course Darth Hook and Darth Smee took immediately to the kids, no doubt they have heard high-seas tales of their legendary journeys and epic battles with the Empire's minions.
After bidding farewell to Masters of the Seas we headed over to the Jungle Cruise – a cheesy yet always fun adventure and the kids got a kick from seeing all the animals….
….wait a minute….
...we were seeing real animals all week long and they are excited about fake ones…could it be that the Empire has had the last laugh?
We barely escaped the Jungle Cruise with all our limbs in place (minus those lost at the Fairies Frankenstenian Transformation Process) after an evil robot elephant tried to spray us with acid...or water…we're not sure...lucky for us our Imperial guide was quick to react and saved the whole boat.
To give credit were credit is due, the Imperial guide has saved us numerous times during the short cruise…maybe he was an Imperial rebel in disguise…or maybe he was intimidated by Jakey's "Guns of Geppetto...or maybe he didn't know who we were….no, that can’t be it.
Maybe,... just maybe... he valued his eyebrows and simply ignored the celebrities on his boat yet; a more plausible option is Darth Bellissima’s new-found mind altering powers…yes…that’s the one I’m going to go with.
As one would have it, we found ourselves standing next to the friendliest place in the Kingdom – The Pirates of the Caribbean.
With a cheerful and rowdy "Arrrr" we readily entered the attraction – being treated as victors we simply marched to the head of the line…after parking the stroller…and took the next boat to be enter the town in a celebratory procession headed by the famous and kind Captain Jack…or was it Captain Morgan?
As, what we perceived to be a one-of-a-kind honor...or more if you ride again... we were greeted by the merciful pirate Davy Jones…even though we were a bit disappointed he didn’t jump into a heart wrenching rendition of "Last Train to Clarksville".
We made our way to “It’s a Small World"… an mysterious ride which has transfixed the family into a trans-like zone where we imagined a world without lawyers and full of rainbows…oooh…was it me or did everyone feel that cold shutter?
Before “It’s a Small World” I felt something was wrong, because the ride was empty and I went to get FastPasses for Peter Pan's Flight only to come back and find…a line.
A line!!!!
I have never been so humiliated in my life, the wife and kids were in tears somberly singing “after all - a small world - it is, after all - a small world - it is…Hmmmm? Hmmmm!"
Malevolent Master Yoda at work no doubt.
As the head of the family and a responsible parent I did the only thing I could think of…I blamed Darth Bellissima for not using her new-found powers...looking into the future and warning us of the impending abomination to come.
As we got off the ride, we were felt our knees buckle…a combination of complications from the nefarious Fairies Frankenstenian Transformation Process and the knee-crushing boat ride we just endured – which made us appreciate the generous “airline-leg-room” we will soon be forced to endure.
After another round of Peter Pan’s Flight, we ate some lunch at the Friars Nook and... had some ice-cream. Darth Jacamo jumped at the opportunity to devour a Mouse Overlord -like ice-cream while Darth Bellissima was a bit more refined and ate a pink Popsicle, reminiscent of her battle the previous day with The Incredibles: Team of Super Powered Domestic Gods.
Even though Darth Jacamo devoured his Overlord ice-cream, he wasn’t quick enough to eat it before the Imperial sun melted it and Mouse Overlord likeness ended as a molten mass on the floor.
Thinking about the irony of the situation we sheepishly laughed as we clean up the mass…without pointing and singing as is the habit of a famous occultist imposing terror and discipline on kids in the form of a mysterious nanny...this time not because we are Imperial slaves but because that is the example we want to serve our kids…so when they grow up they can become benevolent Emperors and not count on their servants for their every whim…otherwise they’ll end up living a delusional life in a French castle as an internal beast tears them apart in their solitude….
...wait a second…could it be that the famous story is a metaphor and not French history?
At last we ventured out and to the Animal Kingdom Lodge for what will be known as the “Watering Hole Farewell Tour”.
After a restful and uneventful break we came back to the Magic Kingdom for a wonderful surprise. A huge party was thrown in our honor, but in order to throw off Commander Lightyear and the Clone Army it was named “Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party”.
We were in the seventh heaven.
The party was spectacular, all the Imperial rebels came out from hiding:
Maleficent – Protector of villages from sleeping curses
The Queen – Hero to senior citizens and apple orchard farmers
Curella DeVill – Entrepreneur and President & CEO of "Coats for the Poor" charity
Jaffar – Homeland Security Domestic Adviser
Queen of Hearts – Skillful brain surgeon
Captain Hook – Commander and Navigator
Lady Tremaine & Stepsisters – Beauty & kindness unmatched….
Even the lovely Ursula – psychotherapist supreme who has helped thousands of “poor, unfortunate souls” – was rumored to be in area.
Celebratory candy was given to kids of all ages…and not the cheap candy your pedestrian neighbors give children who were so unlucky as to end on their door step…real quality stuff.
Fog machines were everywhere giving the park a "special" aura about it.
Dance parties started almost spontaneously...unless they were planned... where…for a change…the Empire's demi-gods were finally made to come down from the top of the Imperial fortress and mingle with ...hold your nose…commoners and Imperial slaves.
Even all of the Imperial Miners took a break from whistling and working so they can join Enchantress Snow White – enemy of the elderly and enslaver of forest animals – for a once in a lifetime...or more if you go more often...appearance.
The Imperial fortress, for once...or more if you go more often...changed its colorful scheme…which has put many children under it’s alluring spell…for more subdued tones which undue the wicked hypnosis caused by their predecessor’s pallet.
After the spectacular fireworks, exploding to the tunes of the fore-mentioned heroes we were on our way to get a good night’s rest.
Before we hit the sheets we packed…as the kids were on the bed either sleeping or watching TV…it never even occurred t them to use their new Jedi mind trick powers to help us lift the suitcases.
For tomorrow will be our last day and unbeknown to us the Empire had one more trick up it’s sleeves…
Pictures at: http://www.travelpod.com/travelblogp.../YES/tpod.html
Oct 15th, 2009, 05:20 AM
#46
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Going Home – A Day of Boasting
Unbeknown to us the Empire had one more trick up its sleeves…could it be that they are that organized…or is it our disorganization….we'll never know.
I woke up and sadly did the last morning ritual
Imperial coffee…Imperial mug…Imperial animals.
Note to self: ask for a zebra next birthday to be stationed in the back yard.
The Empire was in such a hurry to get rid of us that they already printed our boarding passes and left them on our door…they also allowed us to check our baggage in the lodge instead of the the airport…if I didn't know any better I would have assumed that this is an incredibly valuable service to their guests…but I know better.
As we left our slave's quarter we couldn't help but feel a pinch of sadness…we even started to refer to it in the Imperial term of "room" and Darth Bellissima was bragging to all she met that her lifelong dream of having a TV in her room has finally came to fruition.
Darth Jacamo was in his glory and to show his dominance he loudly reiterated his tales of conquest wherever he went…but he's only two…so it seems like he was having a tantrum every 15 minutes.
The Empire has taken care of our suitcases…but we still had to pay Continental…because they are in cahoots with the Empire.
To object this unholy alliance Darth Jacamo sang a song of protest …or was having a tantrum…we’re not sure.
As a last hurrah we had scheduled a breakfast with Chairman Duck at the Tusker House in the Animal Kingdom, however when we got there our 30 minutes of "breakfast buffer time" were quickly evaporated up by…waiting.
Darth Jacamo doesn’t like to wait…so he noisily boasted for everyone to hear about his excellent and delicious Peking Donald Duck recipe…but everyone thought he was having a tantrum....because he's only two.
Since there were new people showing up every several minutes, Darth Jacamo kept repeating the recipe…what a guy…so considerate….
An Imperial employee made it clear to us that we won't be seated anytime soon... because they were still seating those who had prior reservations...that means that we would have been seated 25-30 minutes past our appointed time…which we reserved a full 3 months ago…nice one Empire…nice one!
So we left - there goes the last hurah.
The Empire had to get this one last jab…to which we calmly said "Hakuna Matata" and went to eat at Pizzafari.
Not to be outdone by suite wearing...or sailor outfit wearing... MBAs we charged an adult meal as our last dining plan credit…even though we had only a child’s meal left…take that Scrooge McDuck and your crates full of glorious, splendid and majestic treasures.
And Darth Jacamo piercingly proclaimed his dominance several times while exiting the park.
Back at the lodge we had almost 45 minutes to wait for the Imperial transport…or Magical Express bus…I’m not sure…to take us to the airport. We relaxed while the kids watched cartoons in the lobby.
Darth Jacamo was so pleased with the cartoon, he deafeningly kept announcing how he beat each and every character shown into submission…or was having tantrums…again, there is no way of knowing.
The Imperial Transport came on time, but as we were getting off Darth Bellissima forgot her Princess Minnie ears on the bus…she was a bit upset but not as much as Darth Jacamo who decided that each and every passenger at Orlando’s airport should hear the "Tale of the Missing Ears"…only that he’s two…so everyone probably thought he was having tantrums.
The plane ride was mostly good, Darth Bellissima and Darth Jacamo watched some more Imperial propaganda, this time discussing "lessons learned" as all good Imperial Rebels do. Darth Jacamo fell asleep…only that it was ten minutes before we were about to land.
Relaxing in our seats, putting our heads back lamenting about how we barely survived the "Mouth of the Mouse" and discussing what would be our next adventure.
Suddenly we realized that we finally found an answer to the profound question which has been bugging human kind for generations: where do you arrive when flying towards the “second star to the right and straight on 'till morning”?
Newark, New Jersey!
Next - some tips...
Unbeknown to us the Empire had one more trick up its sleeves…could it be that they are that organized…or is it our disorganization….we'll never know.
I woke up and sadly did the last morning ritual
Imperial coffee…Imperial mug…Imperial animals.
Note to self: ask for a zebra next birthday to be stationed in the back yard.
The Empire was in such a hurry to get rid of us that they already printed our boarding passes and left them on our door…they also allowed us to check our baggage in the lodge instead of the the airport…if I didn't know any better I would have assumed that this is an incredibly valuable service to their guests…but I know better.
As we left our slave's quarter we couldn't help but feel a pinch of sadness…we even started to refer to it in the Imperial term of "room" and Darth Bellissima was bragging to all she met that her lifelong dream of having a TV in her room has finally came to fruition.
Darth Jacamo was in his glory and to show his dominance he loudly reiterated his tales of conquest wherever he went…but he's only two…so it seems like he was having a tantrum every 15 minutes.
The Empire has taken care of our suitcases…but we still had to pay Continental…because they are in cahoots with the Empire.
To object this unholy alliance Darth Jacamo sang a song of protest …or was having a tantrum…we’re not sure.
As a last hurrah we had scheduled a breakfast with Chairman Duck at the Tusker House in the Animal Kingdom, however when we got there our 30 minutes of "breakfast buffer time" were quickly evaporated up by…waiting.
Darth Jacamo doesn’t like to wait…so he noisily boasted for everyone to hear about his excellent and delicious Peking Donald Duck recipe…but everyone thought he was having a tantrum....because he's only two.
Since there were new people showing up every several minutes, Darth Jacamo kept repeating the recipe…what a guy…so considerate….
An Imperial employee made it clear to us that we won't be seated anytime soon... because they were still seating those who had prior reservations...that means that we would have been seated 25-30 minutes past our appointed time…which we reserved a full 3 months ago…nice one Empire…nice one!
So we left - there goes the last hurah.
The Empire had to get this one last jab…to which we calmly said "Hakuna Matata" and went to eat at Pizzafari.
Not to be outdone by suite wearing...or sailor outfit wearing... MBAs we charged an adult meal as our last dining plan credit…even though we had only a child’s meal left…take that Scrooge McDuck and your crates full of glorious, splendid and majestic treasures.
And Darth Jacamo piercingly proclaimed his dominance several times while exiting the park.
Back at the lodge we had almost 45 minutes to wait for the Imperial transport…or Magical Express bus…I’m not sure…to take us to the airport. We relaxed while the kids watched cartoons in the lobby.
Darth Jacamo was so pleased with the cartoon, he deafeningly kept announcing how he beat each and every character shown into submission…or was having tantrums…again, there is no way of knowing.
The Imperial Transport came on time, but as we were getting off Darth Bellissima forgot her Princess Minnie ears on the bus…she was a bit upset but not as much as Darth Jacamo who decided that each and every passenger at Orlando’s airport should hear the "Tale of the Missing Ears"…only that he’s two…so everyone probably thought he was having tantrums.
The plane ride was mostly good, Darth Bellissima and Darth Jacamo watched some more Imperial propaganda, this time discussing "lessons learned" as all good Imperial Rebels do. Darth Jacamo fell asleep…only that it was ten minutes before we were about to land.
Relaxing in our seats, putting our heads back lamenting about how we barely survived the "Mouth of the Mouse" and discussing what would be our next adventure.
Suddenly we realized that we finally found an answer to the profound question which has been bugging human kind for generations: where do you arrive when flying towards the “second star to the right and straight on 'till morning”?
Newark, New Jersey!
Next - some tips...
Oct 16th, 2009, 04:44 AM
#47
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Some Disney Tips
All "Imperial " non-sense aside, we had a great time.
Here are some tips we thought we'll pass along:
First and foremost – Disney is geared towards kids.
It might be obvious to you and me, but most of the negative reviews online start with "we don't have any kids but…".
But what?
The food is lame?
Too crowded?
Your honeymoon was ruined by the crying brat next door?
Yes, yes and yes.
Disney a great place for kids of all ages, but be aware that kids will be there, throwing tantrums, being brats and that includes the parents.
Even though our kids threw a tantrum here and there at the parks, they were angels compared to what we witnessed (even though most parents quickly got a handle on the situation).
That being said:
Curb Your Fancy Expectations
There is a difference between "luxury" and "Disney luxury"
Stroller
We brought our stroller from home and it was worth it. The strollers you rent at Disney looked uncomfortable and you'll appreciate not walking out of a show/ride and looking for your stroller in a sea of similar looking strollers parked outside (Disney Cast Members often rearrange the strollers).
Travel Agent
As I said, we used Small World Vacations, which took care of all hassles for us (making reservations, etc.), gave us advice and guidlines as well as helpful links.
This is of no cost to you (and if you're going to Disney, believe me you'll need the money) because Disney pays them for the booking.
Reservations
If you are on the dining plan you have to make reservations to sit down restaurants if they are popular (Cinderella's Royal Table for example). You are only allowed to make reservations 90 days in advanced but if you are staying at a Disney resort you can make them 100 days before.
Disney has opened their on-line reservations system so now you don't have to call, but travel agents have first dibs as the system opens earlier for them.
Disney Dining Reservations are NOT "Dining Resevations" as we know them to be
We found that out the hard way. Disney dining reservations are a "dining FastPass" - meaning you could wait up to 45 minutes after your "reservation" time for a table to open up because "Disney reservations" simply puts you at the head of the list.
Yes, it sucks and there should be a better system especially after you made the effort to make "reservations" 3 months in advance as well as plan your whole trip around them.
It sucks even more if you are waiting outside in the heat with a whole bunch of annoyed adults and hungry kids.
For a huge company that can basically order just the right amount of hockey-puck hamburgers each month, they should be able to make their reservations system work better.
Disney's PhotoPass
PhotoPass is basically professional photographers scattered in strategic and photogenic locations around the Disney parks ready to take your picture. They'll give you a card with a number and after your vacation you can go on-line, look at the pictures (up to 30 days) and order prints or a CD if you'd like.
We took 151 PhotoPass photos (most are pretty good and about four are "frameable". If you know something about photography you know that's a good ratio), and the PhotoPass photographer were happy to take a picture with our camera as well.
If you get two cards, you can join them together and most Disney park / hotel has a PhotoPass desk where you can view your photos answer questions and even look for photographs if you lost your card.
By the way, you can associate your PhotoPass cards with many character meals and get all the photos on the CD instead of just the printed souvenir they hand you at the event.
Use this link to pre-order the CD for $99: http://www.disneyphotopass.com/previ...P=EMC-PASOWphs
The link is NOT on the PhotoPass website.
Character Greetings:
Jakey (2) was freaked out by all the costumed characters except Tigger & Pooh, Isabella (four - AND A HALF!!!) loved them all.
The autograph books were a great way to get Jakey to go up to the characters. All the characters we met, especially the talking ones (princesses, fairies etc.) were consummate professionals and impressed us to no-end. They were sweet, kind, took their time (as much as they could), kept the lines moving yet made every child feel special (our favorites were Cinderella's step-mother and step-sisters).
Keep it up!!!
The costumed characters were excellent as well, even though their job endearing themselves to kids has to be harder because they don't talk.
We didn’t force the kids to go up to anyone they didn’t want to.
Child Safety Tattoos
We got the temporary tattoos from Safetytat printed with our cell phone number on it (http://www.safetytat.com/). The kids liked them and gave us a little peace of mind.
Take a Picture of Your Children Everyday
This way if G-d forbid something happens, you'll know what they were wearing. That being said: number of kids gone missing from Disney parks since they opened in 1955: zero!!! (at the time of this blog).
Take a Picture of Disney Tickets
You should already have photocopies of important documents and credit cards - that's Travel 101. We also took a photo of our Disney tickets and of our PhotoPass card in case they got lost.
Bring snacks
Even if you have the dining plan you still need snacks. There is a Florida online grocery store (http://www.gardengrocer.com) to deliver groceries to your hotel.
If you have a car service pick you up, they will stop at a supermarket for you (ask for the local supermarket like Publix, not the ones geard towards tourists).
We brought our own snacks & breakfast items with us, as well as bought a few water filter bottles from http://www.purewater2go.com/ which worked out great and did a wonderful job filtering the water (which could be refilled at any one of the many fountains in the park).
Bring snacks into the park
Disney allows you to bring snacks into the park as long as they are not in glass container or alcohol (if you bring alcohol to Disney you have bigger problems).
This is a HUGE money saver.
If you freeze the water bottles over night you'll have cold water throughout the morning.
You could also ask for ice, which is free.
Merchandise
There are several "official Disney outlets" driving distance from the parks ("Character Warehouse", "Character Premiere", etc.) which sell only official Disney merchandise for a hell of a lot less than the parks (even though it's "off season" merchandise).
Bring Toys from Home
OK, it might be cheating – but it’s cheaper.
For example you can get the glow sticks at the Dollar Store and give them to the kids at the park instead of buying them and paying untold amounts more. We brought a Cinderella dress that we paid $20 for instead of bying one at the park for two, three, or four times that.
Annual Pass
If you are staying for more then five days check into the cost of an annual pass, it might be cheaper and more convenient (park hopping wise).
Have Fun
Get in the mindset to have a good time.
Yes, the food is mostly theme park food (because you're in a theme park), it's hot, humid, hoards of annoying people around, crying kids, rude adults etc.
But you're at Disney - and you're lucky you can afford it and it's the "happiest place on earth" so just relax, let things slide and have a good time.
You'd be surprised how nice people are once you're nice to them. We conversed with strangers every day and almost on every line.
Regrets - We've Had a Few:
I wish I would have bought a small tripod for the camera. I'd have gotten wonderful night pictures.
We should have built more down time, even though we thought we did.
If we had to do this trip over again I'd switch are character lunches / late breakfasts with early character breakfasts.
Resources We Used:
allears.net - a great website with everything Disney and updated everyday
disboards.com - a Disney community with tips, strategies and plans. Every question you post will most likely be answered by the community.
travelpod.com
Fodor's Walt Disney World® with Kids 2009 - a great book which includes time and money saving tips, insider secrets, and scare factors for every ride and venue, including those at Universal Orlando and Seaworld. Befoe we even left I already had the book borrowed by co-workers (all of them have been to Disney several times).
Small World Vacations - I haven't used a travel agent since 1992, using this agency was probablly one of the best things we could do on this trip.
All "Imperial " non-sense aside, we had a great time.
Here are some tips we thought we'll pass along:
First and foremost – Disney is geared towards kids.
It might be obvious to you and me, but most of the negative reviews online start with "we don't have any kids but…".
But what?
The food is lame?
Too crowded?
Your honeymoon was ruined by the crying brat next door?
Yes, yes and yes.
Disney a great place for kids of all ages, but be aware that kids will be there, throwing tantrums, being brats and that includes the parents.
Even though our kids threw a tantrum here and there at the parks, they were angels compared to what we witnessed (even though most parents quickly got a handle on the situation).
That being said:
Curb Your Fancy Expectations
There is a difference between "luxury" and "Disney luxury"
Stroller
We brought our stroller from home and it was worth it. The strollers you rent at Disney looked uncomfortable and you'll appreciate not walking out of a show/ride and looking for your stroller in a sea of similar looking strollers parked outside (Disney Cast Members often rearrange the strollers).
Travel Agent
As I said, we used Small World Vacations, which took care of all hassles for us (making reservations, etc.), gave us advice and guidlines as well as helpful links.
This is of no cost to you (and if you're going to Disney, believe me you'll need the money) because Disney pays them for the booking.
Reservations
If you are on the dining plan you have to make reservations to sit down restaurants if they are popular (Cinderella's Royal Table for example). You are only allowed to make reservations 90 days in advanced but if you are staying at a Disney resort you can make them 100 days before.
Disney has opened their on-line reservations system so now you don't have to call, but travel agents have first dibs as the system opens earlier for them.
Disney Dining Reservations are NOT "Dining Resevations" as we know them to be
We found that out the hard way. Disney dining reservations are a "dining FastPass" - meaning you could wait up to 45 minutes after your "reservation" time for a table to open up because "Disney reservations" simply puts you at the head of the list.
Yes, it sucks and there should be a better system especially after you made the effort to make "reservations" 3 months in advance as well as plan your whole trip around them.
It sucks even more if you are waiting outside in the heat with a whole bunch of annoyed adults and hungry kids.
For a huge company that can basically order just the right amount of hockey-puck hamburgers each month, they should be able to make their reservations system work better.
Disney's PhotoPass
PhotoPass is basically professional photographers scattered in strategic and photogenic locations around the Disney parks ready to take your picture. They'll give you a card with a number and after your vacation you can go on-line, look at the pictures (up to 30 days) and order prints or a CD if you'd like.
We took 151 PhotoPass photos (most are pretty good and about four are "frameable". If you know something about photography you know that's a good ratio), and the PhotoPass photographer were happy to take a picture with our camera as well.
If you get two cards, you can join them together and most Disney park / hotel has a PhotoPass desk where you can view your photos answer questions and even look for photographs if you lost your card.
By the way, you can associate your PhotoPass cards with many character meals and get all the photos on the CD instead of just the printed souvenir they hand you at the event.
Use this link to pre-order the CD for $99: http://www.disneyphotopass.com/previ...P=EMC-PASOWphs
The link is NOT on the PhotoPass website.
Character Greetings:
Jakey (2) was freaked out by all the costumed characters except Tigger & Pooh, Isabella (four - AND A HALF!!!) loved them all.
The autograph books were a great way to get Jakey to go up to the characters. All the characters we met, especially the talking ones (princesses, fairies etc.) were consummate professionals and impressed us to no-end. They were sweet, kind, took their time (as much as they could), kept the lines moving yet made every child feel special (our favorites were Cinderella's step-mother and step-sisters).
Keep it up!!!
The costumed characters were excellent as well, even though their job endearing themselves to kids has to be harder because they don't talk.
We didn’t force the kids to go up to anyone they didn’t want to.
Child Safety Tattoos
We got the temporary tattoos from Safetytat printed with our cell phone number on it (http://www.safetytat.com/). The kids liked them and gave us a little peace of mind.
Take a Picture of Your Children Everyday
This way if G-d forbid something happens, you'll know what they were wearing. That being said: number of kids gone missing from Disney parks since they opened in 1955: zero!!! (at the time of this blog).
Take a Picture of Disney Tickets
You should already have photocopies of important documents and credit cards - that's Travel 101. We also took a photo of our Disney tickets and of our PhotoPass card in case they got lost.
Bring snacks
Even if you have the dining plan you still need snacks. There is a Florida online grocery store (http://www.gardengrocer.com) to deliver groceries to your hotel.
If you have a car service pick you up, they will stop at a supermarket for you (ask for the local supermarket like Publix, not the ones geard towards tourists).
We brought our own snacks & breakfast items with us, as well as bought a few water filter bottles from http://www.purewater2go.com/ which worked out great and did a wonderful job filtering the water (which could be refilled at any one of the many fountains in the park).
Bring snacks into the park
Disney allows you to bring snacks into the park as long as they are not in glass container or alcohol (if you bring alcohol to Disney you have bigger problems).
This is a HUGE money saver.
If you freeze the water bottles over night you'll have cold water throughout the morning.
You could also ask for ice, which is free.
Merchandise
There are several "official Disney outlets" driving distance from the parks ("Character Warehouse", "Character Premiere", etc.) which sell only official Disney merchandise for a hell of a lot less than the parks (even though it's "off season" merchandise).
Bring Toys from Home
OK, it might be cheating – but it’s cheaper.
For example you can get the glow sticks at the Dollar Store and give them to the kids at the park instead of buying them and paying untold amounts more. We brought a Cinderella dress that we paid $20 for instead of bying one at the park for two, three, or four times that.
Annual Pass
If you are staying for more then five days check into the cost of an annual pass, it might be cheaper and more convenient (park hopping wise).
Have Fun
Get in the mindset to have a good time.
Yes, the food is mostly theme park food (because you're in a theme park), it's hot, humid, hoards of annoying people around, crying kids, rude adults etc.
But you're at Disney - and you're lucky you can afford it and it's the "happiest place on earth" so just relax, let things slide and have a good time.
You'd be surprised how nice people are once you're nice to them. We conversed with strangers every day and almost on every line.
Regrets - We've Had a Few:
I wish I would have bought a small tripod for the camera. I'd have gotten wonderful night pictures.
We should have built more down time, even though we thought we did.
If we had to do this trip over again I'd switch are character lunches / late breakfasts with early character breakfasts.
Resources We Used:
allears.net - a great website with everything Disney and updated everyday
disboards.com - a Disney community with tips, strategies and plans. Every question you post will most likely be answered by the community.
travelpod.com
Fodor's Walt Disney World® with Kids 2009 - a great book which includes time and money saving tips, insider secrets, and scare factors for every ride and venue, including those at Universal Orlando and Seaworld. Befoe we even left I already had the book borrowed by co-workers (all of them have been to Disney several times).
Small World Vacations - I haven't used a travel agent since 1992, using this agency was probablly one of the best things we could do on this trip.
Oct 21st, 2009, 11:39 AM
#48
Original Poster
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 391
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Just a quick update: Disney has removed the $99 PhotoPass pre-order deal.
From what I understand some people who stay on Disney property get a discounted offer mailed (or e-mailed) to them.
From what I understand some people who stay on Disney property get a discounted offer mailed (or e-mailed) to them.
