Hi everyone,
My family and I are planning a trip to Italy next summer (long way away, I know, but it definitely doesn't hurt to be prepared!) and my 16 year old son and the rest of the family have some differences of opinion. My son is not so interested in gawking at historical monuments and walking around museums, whereas that's all the rest of us want to do. He would prefer roaming around Milan, shopping (he has a profound interest in fashion) and sitting around in cafes reading books. I was just wondering if it is safe for him to venture out into the city alone. He will have emergency money, a cell phone and maps of the city. Would it be okay for him to use public transport, walk into stores and cafes unaccompanied and the like?
Thank you for any help that you can provide.

I know it's not 1974, but I did all that for 6 weeks in Milan in 1974 at that age. I spent a day there a couple fo years ago, and would assess little change.

Really no problem. And don't miss Brera, yourself

He'll have a ball. Milan is absolutely Fashion Central. That whole area around the Duomo/ Galleria and the little streets leading off the Piazza are fashion heaven.

Milan is one of the most sophisticated cities in Europe and he will be as safe there as he would be in London/Sydney/Paris/Berlin. Having said that, I guess it also depends on how accustomed he is to roaming around on his own, his "common sense quotient" & his "awareness radar". Not knowing where you are from makes it difficult to generalise, but if, for instance, you now live in a relatively large city, he will probably be more comfortable than if you live in a smaller, more isolated area. Perhaps you could all go to the Piazza, have a coffee and a walk around the general area together to familiarise everyone - and then go your separate ways.

I think the best advice one can give or receive is along the lines of, "Do and Don't Do what you'd do or not do at home." I'm continually amazed at the stupid things people do abroad that they'd never dream of doing at home and then wonder why they get into trouble.

The only additonal thing I can think of in Milan (Europe, generally) is the "Gypsy tango" which can take a couple of forms. (1) A girl/woman with a baby in arms will come up to you & beg/ thrust the baby at you. If you go to take the baby she or an accomplice will either grab your bag or pick your pocket. (2) A group of kids will surround you & start chattering at you.Often they'll have a newspaper which they thrust at you. When you're distracted, same thing. Remedy? (1) Just ignore, keep walking. (2) If they're really persistant .. hiss/yell "Go away" or your local vulgar vernacular equivalent. Neither is a problem if you're fore-warned & keep your wits about you. It may never happen. Don't get paranoid about it. In 6 visits, I encountered the kids once - and that was in Florence. And yes ... "P.... off" was quite effective.

I would just make sure you and he both have mobiles (cell 'phones), go with him to a "set off/meet back" point - say, the La Scala entrance, one of the coffee shops along the colonades or in La Galleria, make an agreed meeting time & go off & enjoy your respective days.

I can't remember when the fashion parades are on in Milan, but if he Googles, he might be in luck & be there for one of the "seasons".

My niece lived there for 5 years, so it was a great opportunity for me to have several great trips to what is now one of my favourite cities.

I'm assuming the cell phone is one that will work in Europe (not trying to be pissy..just wanting to make sure...)

IMO he will be totally safe (and probably is a lot more street smart than some might give him credit for) and I would also say that for ONCE we have actually heard from a parent who really DID take their children's desires into account when planning a European vacation..and that's a nice change from the usual.

Of course he'll be fine. Please undo the apron strings if you ever want him to become a man.

Certainly, he should be fine. Common sense goes a long way, though. If he bases himself in the heavily touristed Duomo area, make certain he is well versed in anti-pickpocket techniques. Moneybelts are a good thing!

If you would allow him to do this in New York or Chicago, I think it is fine.

He should learn some of the language, carry a good map and be familiar with metro.

Milan is a nice city and I enjoy visiting. Using common sense and having a sense of adventure are really all that's necessary.

I spent a week in Rome on my own at 16yo. Long story, it was not with parental permission, but what an adventure!

Thanks to everyone who has replied, although more info would be gladly welcomed.
Just responding to a few general tips that have been put forward:
1. The mobile phone will be one that functions in Europe, of course. Thanks for the concern, though! You know how technology is...
2. We're originaly from Calcutta, India but have been living abroad for a long, long time. If he had been born and brought up in India, I would have had no worries because he would have been accustomed to a daily life alone starting from a very young age but where we live, things are quite different. He's never really had a taste of life alone but I put the utmost faith in him and believe him to be very smart and street-savvy. Hopefully, learning enough Italian to get by should be no problem for him as his mother tongue (even though it should've been Bengali!) is English and he has been learning French and Spanish at school for several years now.
Thank you for the tips so far. Still would specifically like to know about transport and whether or not it would be fit for him to make purchases in glitzy stores without the presence of an adult. (He's been saving up for ages to go to the Armani megastore and the flagships of Dolce & Gabbana, Prada and the like)

I can't imagine that there are many 16-year-old boys who shop alone at Armani, Prada and Dolce & Gabbana. Shop assistants may not be very cordial when he walks in.

Is he -- for that matter, are you -- aware of the prices at the boutiques mentioned? Does your son know that the Euro is worth more than the US $ at the moment?

I'm not at all sure that the boutiques would sell to him on a credit card. Do you want to let him wander around the streets with several hundred or thousand Euro in his pockets?

I agree with all the posters that Milan is a safe city, if one takes precautions, but carrying large amounts of money is not, to my mind, being cautious.

Perhaps the adults in the family can take turns accompanying your son to the boutiques?

Thanks for the concern! I am sure that he is fully aware of what to expect in terms of prices and is more than well-acquainted with the business section in the newspaper.
I am less concerned with what he knows about the fashion/shopping scene and more concerned about his safety and of course, as you mentioned, what type of service he's likely to receive at such chi-chi luxury boutiques and sidewalk cafes. I wouldn't want him being turned away from stores! Another good point brought up is the money issue. I still believe that he should learn how to handle cash but I am definitely hesistant about his security.

Hi Sam,
The public transport around Milan is great. Very accessible. It¡¦s such a walkable city though, that I find I only usually use the metro or buses for longer journeys (or when I¡¦m laden with shopping!).

The more I think about it, the more I¡¦m sure your son will be fine: And, I¡¦m really feeling very excited at what a wonderful adventure and learning, growing experience it will be for him. And, for you parents, too, (LOL) ƒº, I suspect.
(1) Italians love children, and in particular the boys are very much indulged. So ¡V 16 y.o. fashion conscious boy in Fashion Central, speaking some Italian¡K Buono! He¡¦ll be very welcome ¡V probably get better service in the ¡§chi chi¡¨ shops than the adults (LOL). Whilst the Italians are also very protective of their offspring, it¡¦s usual to see European teenagers shopping alone or with other young people.

(2) Tip: As soon as you get there, buy a good, small fold-up map at a Tabacci (news-stand). Mine is about 6¡¨x3¡¨ Nicola Vincitorio ¡V Pianta Generale (general map) and was about $4. For a more general ¡§Italian¡¨ map, try Hallweg¡¦s. The little one shows metro & bus lines, restaurants, shopping precincts, places of interest as well as the usual churches, hospitals, monuments etc. I find there is invariably a better selection at much cheaper rates locally than at home.

(3) The Summer Sales in Milan are sensational. Can¡¦t remember when they¡¦re on, but someone on this Forum will probably know. If he Googles the sites for some of his favourite designers, he¡¦ll probably get some good info. There¡¦s probably a ¡§Milan¡¨ website giving lots of useful tips, too. (I¡¦m sitting in the sun on my balcony doing this ¡V too lazy to go inside, hook up & look ¡V sorry!)

(4) He¡¦s 16, interested in the financial pages, still at school, young flexible brain¡K he¡¦ll probably be better at the currency conversions than you, too! ƒº . I usually buy $200-$500 worth of the currency of my destination before I leave, for the first day or so, so you might like to buy some Euro in advance so he can become accustomed to the look of various denominations, and learn the Italian for them. (I remember my first trip ¡V was forever thinking ¡§mille¡¨ was ¡§Million¡¨ ¡V back in the Lire days). I also take my favourite calculator so I can do quick conversions ¡V v.handy with discounts, taxes etc., in fx. I also have a preference for doing my own calcs instead of just relying on the vendor. In most shops the assistant will show you the total on their calculator to make sure you understand. On the issue of costs, within reason, what does it really matter if he spends 2/3 of his allowance on that one perfect ¡§thing¡¨ that will make him smile every time he thinks about it?


(5) Tip: Tell your boy to take a couple of books ¡V English language literature can be expensive and the choice a bit limited. Unless, of course, he gets his Italian up to speed & wants to insouciantly scan the latest Italian novella whilst sipping his hot chocolate, people watching & agonising over a purchase choice in one of the little sidewalk cafes. ƒº

(6) If you¡¦re a little concerned about setting him loose for a whole day, why not arrange to meet for lunch? (Remember, some of the shops close for a couple of hours then). If he¡¦s had enough, or is not enjoying the solo experience, he can then easily re-join the group without any loss of face. On the other hand, if he¡¦s having a ball, you¡¦ll be reassured and everyone can go on with the afternoon.

Honestly, Sam, I¡¦m sure it will be a wonderful experience for everyone. Just as when a group of adults with differing interests travel together, it¡¦s (IMHO) a much more enjoyable & satisfying experience for everyone to go do/see their particular ¡§thing¡¨. Then, they can meet up at the end of the day & exchange excited & happy stories about their day & experiences ¡V rather than having at least one party disgruntled or disappointed at having to share experiences of little or no interest to them. Although I feel a little diffident giving advice (but, on the other hand, you DID ask (LOL) ) on such an important matter ¡K¡K.. here goes:

Take a deep breath. Set him free to have a little roam. All the safeguards are in place. You¡¦ve got the mobiles. Maps. Meeting place. He¡¦s 16, not 6.
If her were a young Brit, he¡¦d probably be trotting around the world on ¡§gap year¡¨ for a year in 18 months time. If he can get himself too & from school & survive the jungle that a bunch of young boys create, Milan will be a snack (LOL). Relax. Enjoy.

Ask him to post a JBR when he gets home. Please post yours too. I¡¦d really like to share the experience and I¡¦m sure the other Fodorites would too. Don¡¦t tell him your ¡§Fodor¡¦s name¡¨ !

Sorry all. Something weird has happened with the punctuation on my last post. Gremlins . Looked ok before I hit "Post".

Hi sam, I think Bokhara has given you some interesting thoughts. When my daughter was 17 she wanted to be in Milan on her own too. I said "oh no" but her father talked to her for a few minutes and decided that it would be fine, and it was. Yes I was nervous the first time she took off on her own (typical mother) but she handled it very well. She even went to the roof of the Duomo and was so excited when she met us for dinner.

Now even though we lived in a small town in the SF Bay Area she was use to big cities such as SanFrancisco, Vancouver BC, Long Beach, Portland OR etc. so she did know how to handle herself.

Italian teens have a lot of freedom so it will not seem strange to anyone to see your son on his own. I think the one thing to work out is the money issue. We told our daughter if there was some shopping she wanted to do she could take us back to the store(s) and we would buy it than. She was satisfied with that. And of course she did have some lira with her as well as a business card from the hotel. Just remembered, we spoke to the hotel before she took off on her own (before cell phones) and they told her to call them if she had a problem. That was nice. So that is a thought or two for you. But am sure you will work something out that is agreeable to all of you.

I too would love to see a tripreport from your son. That would be interesting and fun. Best wishes to you and your family.

Sam, your son should be perfectly safe. Violent crime against tourists in Milan is almost non-existent. He can buy a day ticket for the ATM (Milan Transport) that will let him hop on and off all day. Once you're downtown, most of the big shopping is concentrated in a fairly small area.

Teenagers shopping alone with big wads of cash are not unusual in Italy, though the advice about pickpockets is good.

The fact that he's brown-skinned *might* cause some lifted eyebrows in shops. Italians are accustomed to people of Indian background being poor immigrants, so they might be surprised to find that he actually has money to spend. But being well-dressed and well-mannered to begin with, as I'm sure he is, will probably smoothe out if not completely avoid all potential problems.

If you like, put him in touch with my 16-year-old daughter at rossellae.com. She's a very international Italo-American, raised in Milan and now Lecco, but she's travelled a lot. I'm about to take her to India for the first time this summer, we're both very excited about that (I went to school in Mussoorie and have strong ties with India in general). If they hit it off by email/chat, she'll probably offer to be his shopping guide - Ross knows Milan shopping extremely well!

best regards,
Deirdré Straughan

www.straughan.com (personal)
www.tvblob.com (work)

A big thank you to everyone that has offered information; it has certainly been really helpful and uplifitng! My son is now completely inspired and is already looking into Milan hot-spots which he wishes to visit, even though the trip is months away!
He went on a school trip to Paris last March and talks of how he wanted to break away from the "3-student-clusters" while walking down the over-crowded Champs-Elysees to go exploring. Alas, he didn't have the courage (he claims that his mobile battery was running really low, and that he couldn't afford to walk away, in case an emergency ocurred). He came home frustrated, saying that his friends were the type of people that ate at McDonald's, shopped at the Gap and listened to music at the Virgin Megastore even when they were on holiday in a foreign country. That really bugged him because he's a kid who loves to "do as the Romans do". He even refused to speak English during the trip! Searching for truly Parisian experiences while he was amidst such people made him believe that it's best to travel alone. Thanks again for all the help!

That's great, Sam.

I share your son's sentiments entirely.
Why travel if you're not willing to go with an open heart & attitude & enjoy the differences of other lands & peoples? As for eating "chain food" ...anywhere ....!

I'm so glad he'll have the opportunity of exploring "his" Milan - it's such a beautiful city.
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I haven't been to Milan, so have no particular advice to give you on that, but do have one relevant anecdote that a friend told me about how she was treated in the Armani store in Milan. She is an attractive woman around 70 who dresses quite well, and a very experienced traveler. She told me she went into Armani in Milan and was interested in looking at ties, and the sales staff completely ignored her and pretended she did not exist. She never got them to acknowledge her. She told me that she knew it was because of the way she was dressed (and/or because they could tell she was a tourist from the things she was carrying), which was somewhat casually due to her daily tourism (I think slacks and some simple blouse or top), but nothing really sloppy or very casual as some people wear while being a tourist in summer. She knew what was going on and sort of thought of it as a sociological experiment to see how long it would take them to help her, but they never did.

LoveItaly beat me to the one tip I wanted to share...

Have him (and you too!) carry the business card from the hotel. That way you can always hail a taxi, show the card, and make your way back. I'd suggest meeting up at the hotel rather than trying to rendevous at a public space.