colduphere

I read that the song "Hotel California" was inspired by the Europe Forum.

There are eerie similarities. Just one:

"You can check out any time you like.
But you can never leave."

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eagle...alifornia.html

MmePerdu

I think the difficulty in answering, and what Stef may not quite get yet, is that when you travel with another person (husband, friend, mother, anyone), it is a relationship issue, whether the questioner requests that it be or not. Experienced travelers know that very well and is one reason so many of us travel alone, as one solution to divergence of interests. My feeling is that to resent us touching on the relationship part of the question is unrealistic. I suspect maybe this isn't, as you say Stef, the forum for you, although I know you'd be welcome back.

suze

<Can somebody please tell me how to delete this post, and/or my membership because I do not believe I want to continue this.>

Only Fodor's can delete a thread. You can contact the editors. You can delete/close your own account totally if you want to (but this post will remain). Or you can just not post again, and eventually this will sink down on the forum and likely not get attention again.

That said, when you put a question out, people are going to reply with their thoughts. Take what you find helpful, and leave the rest behind.

annhig

But yes she would be upset as She hasn't travelled much and she doesn't like the idea of me being in a different country by myself. I don't know any mother who wouldn't worry about that. But maybe that's just us. >>

not quite what you posted steph - which was that he would sorry even if you left him in a bar while you went off to do something else:

<<Thank you so much! That is the type of stuff I think could work! If there is a bar surrounded by shops he'd be ok, but I couldn't leave him at a bar and go away to do something. He would worry and his mother would kill him>>

Even so, you used to travel by yourself, and extensively; there is a difference between the normal worry and concern that all of feel when a loved one is away, to the worry that means that you feel restricted. I know you say that you don't, but if that's not the case, I'm a bit confused about why you raised it in the first place.

Tant pis - I get that you both work hard, I get that you want to go on holiday together, but is HE going on some travel forum trying to sort out an answer to this problem? somehow I don't think so [actually, it looks as if you're the only one who thinks that there is a problem, which says something in itself].

thursdaysd

@Stef - glad you came back to post, and to find that you are a real person and happy with your relationship. But, as ann just pointed out, what you wrote is certainly open to several interpretations.

However, I have to say, given you live in Australia, that I see your husband's point. It takes a lot of time and money to get to Europe, and if you are only going to do what you could do at home, what's the point? I'd suggest that <b>until</b> you have more time and money, the compromise should be Asia. Not only is it a whole lot closer, the beaches are better, the booze - and everything else - is a lot cheaper, and there is plenty of culture. Certainly doesn't have to be the Thai islands - I have spent months in Asia and still haven't been to a Thai island. Indonesia would be a good start - Bali has beaches and culture, Lombok is interesting and the Gilis have great snorkeling, and maybe you could get him to Yogakarta as well. Then the Cambodian beaches are an up and coming tourist destination, with Angkor Wat not that far away. If river beaches would work, Luang Prabang in Laos is developing a bit of a beach scene. But it would all be a lot simpler if you didn't insist on being joined at the hip all day.

sandralist

Hi Stef,

You probably need to contact the Fodor's editors yourself for this thread to get deleted. Just click the triangle on the upper corner of your first post or your last post, and ignore the menu list and instead explain to the editors that you want the post deleted.

I've contacted the editors on your behalf to point out your request, but you might need to do it yourself once the holiday weekend is over.

I disagree with those who think anyone who is put through what this poster was put through was "fair game" for having posted, and they are free to ignore what the poster says and interpret to suit themselves or their world view.

I also disagree with anyone who thinks that once a thread is started, no matter how wrongly personal it gets or poorly the OP is treated, the OP does not have the right to ask editors to take it down because someone else might enjoy it or glean some odd travel tips from it.

I vividly recall a thread where an innocent and deperate poster turned up on Fodor's an appealed for help dealing with the rental agency Paris Perfect, who had pulled the rug out from under a booked apartment rental that was a special mother-daughter trip, and then wouldn't respond to e-mails. Little did the OP know that she had posted against a company where people here were personal friends of the owners, and she was mercilessly attacked. She appealed to editors and got the thread deleted.

Quite frankly I think anybody who starts a thread should be able to go to Fodor's editors to have a thread deleted for any reason, and that request should be honored, no questions asked. Neither Fodor's or Fodorites are owed anything.

justineparis

I strongly disagree with Stephs comment that some comments were "trolling". None were. She may not have liked them, she may disagree with some of them, some went off topic.. but not single one was trolling. Period.

sandralist

>>I have a friend who's acquainted with SL and says she improves with proximity. But this made me laugh because he's a school administrator. Maybe birds of a feather, although he's infinitely kinder. One can take just about any advice if the delivery is benevolent and concise. Or at very least amusing.<<

This is a lie. I have never met Paul Heymont and he has never met me. It is appalling for PortMoresby/MmePerdu to pretend she has some knowlege of me she does not.


Paul Heymont posts on Frommer's message board under his own name and I do not. He has no idea what my name is, and he has no knowledge of me other than what we exchange of Frommer's message board, and I have never revealed anything about my personal life there or to him.

Paul Heymont has no greater "proxmity" to me than any of you do. Perhaps the reason he finds my posts valuable is the same reason the original poster here did. They are not narrow minded, self-centered and vicious.

StCirq

<<They are not narrow minded, self-centered and vicious>>

That is EXACTLY what all of your posts are, SL.

sandralist

By the way, my name is not Sandra List and I have triangled MmePerdu's post for an attempt to spread personal lies about me which have no basis whatsoever in fact.

MmePerdu, leaving it to you to square all this with Paul Heymont, since you claim to be his friend. One wonders why you dragged a friend who does indeed appear to be a nice guy from his Frommer's posts onto Fodor's just to take a swipe at me for no reason. Exploit your friends much? Tell lies about your friends much? And if he's been telling you that he knows me -- I find it impossible to believe it but all play along -- he doesn't, and maybe he's not the 'friend" you think he is. But I think you are the liar in this vicious post, not him.

sandralist

Guess the OP disagrees with you St Cirq, and other people in this thread. Care to get yourself banned again for attacking me?

StCirq

I've never been banned, SL, unlike you, who's had, what, 6 different screen names?

sandralist

By the way, in case anyone is wondering how I know MmePerdu is talking about Paul Heymont is that they both post on a travel board called Travel Gumbo -- although MmePerdu has the fake name PortMoresby over there, and Paul makes no secret of his occupation. There is no one else she could be describing.

Paul and I have had fun exchanges on Frommer's, but that is the extent of our "proximity". I am no closer to him than I am to Stef who started this post.

Guess some people just like me and what I have to say without ever having met me!

sandralist

Oh. Suspended for attacking me. I forgot I was talking to a copyeditor.

Much more than six different screen names. More like 14 or 20. I don't keep count.

StCirq

Never been suspended, either. Get your facts right, zeppole.

sandralist

Time out? Told to get lost for awhile? Sorry I don't know the Fodorite parlance. Or did you really just go off to soak your own head?

I'm not sorry that Paris Perfect thread was deleted, but it was deleted so it can't be retrieved now. That was also when you were all for apartment rentals in Paris, defending landlords.

You've had quite a career here!

MmePerdu

"It is appalling for PortMoresby/MmePerdu to pretend she has some knowlege of me she does not."

Apologies, I am mistaken then, not purposely. Triangle away, I'm happy to have an inaccurate/"appalling" post removed.

sandralist

MmePerdu,

I used the Frommer's message board to let Paul know about this thead. And I sent him what you posted. I think it is more than an innocent mistake. Even a drunkeness would be no excuse. You were deliberately using somebody else to be vicious. That was your intent. Why don't you take some responsibility for a change and get the editors to take it down yourself?

StCirq

I don't even remember the Paris Perfect post. I had only one encounter with PP, and that must've been a decade or more ago, LONG before the whole rigamarole erupted with illegal rentals in Paris. I didn't even rent a PP apartment, I was given one. You must have seriously very little to do if you are dredging up decades-ago post references on Fodors.

And I have never been banned or suspended. When I was preparing to move from the USA to France I was off Fodors for probably a year or so. That's all. You might try it.

MmePerdu

Heavy sigh.