Traveling with my Husband - different interests
Jan 2nd, 2016, 01:00 PM
#81
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Hi Steff, I hope you are still following this thread, don't be put off asking for help with this: here is my AUD 2centsworth!!!
Travelling from Oz to Europe is a big deal and a costly one, so I can understand your DH's reluctance to commit to something that he thinks he won't like. Its really important for you to make the first holiday like this really good, so here is the challenge.
Lots of Aussie blokes have the impression Europe is a whole lot of old boring churches and culture, things they aren't into at home so why bother with it on holiday!
My suggestion is to base the first part of your holiday around either a resort stay on the coast (ie Greek island, Majorca Spain, Algarve Portugal) and let him chill in the sun and have a few beers and relax, any of these destinations are not hugely different to your experience in Thailand or Bali, basically the European versions!! Next I would consider somewhere like Barcelona, particularly around a festival time. He will probably have a misconception around the level of street crime here (common in lots of Aussies) we have been to Spain lots and lots of times and my advice is treat it like Bali, only carry enough money, don't take your handbag lock it all in your safe, get a taxi if you need to( ie to and from the airport) I think its all about him feeling comfortable in his environment.
You could takr the train to San Sebastion and then on to Pamplona( running of the bulls!).
Don't give up on him, as he gains confidence you can make your trips together more ambitious, keep the historical and cultural low key to start with (1 church a week!!) emphasis on sitting in the squares with a fews cold ones, relaxing on the beach and watching the passing parade,
Good luck and Bon Voyage
Travelling from Oz to Europe is a big deal and a costly one, so I can understand your DH's reluctance to commit to something that he thinks he won't like. Its really important for you to make the first holiday like this really good, so here is the challenge.
Lots of Aussie blokes have the impression Europe is a whole lot of old boring churches and culture, things they aren't into at home so why bother with it on holiday!
My suggestion is to base the first part of your holiday around either a resort stay on the coast (ie Greek island, Majorca Spain, Algarve Portugal) and let him chill in the sun and have a few beers and relax, any of these destinations are not hugely different to your experience in Thailand or Bali, basically the European versions!! Next I would consider somewhere like Barcelona, particularly around a festival time. He will probably have a misconception around the level of street crime here (common in lots of Aussies) we have been to Spain lots and lots of times and my advice is treat it like Bali, only carry enough money, don't take your handbag lock it all in your safe, get a taxi if you need to( ie to and from the airport) I think its all about him feeling comfortable in his environment.
You could takr the train to San Sebastion and then on to Pamplona( running of the bulls!).
Don't give up on him, as he gains confidence you can make your trips together more ambitious, keep the historical and cultural low key to start with (1 church a week!!) emphasis on sitting in the squares with a fews cold ones, relaxing on the beach and watching the passing parade,
Good luck and Bon Voyage
Jan 2nd, 2016, 01:03 PM
#82
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It wasn't decades ago. It was during the heyday of GraceJoan, joangrace? It wasn't about you renting an apartment. It was you and a bunch of other GraceJoan groupies coming into slam and slam a poor woman who was being hung out to dry by Paris Perfect after she had planned a dream trip with her daughter. You were posting nasty comments at the OP relentlessly to (a) defend vacation rental apartment landlords in general since you had been one and (b) to attack me, who came in on the side of the poor poster who just wanted some help getting Paris Perfect to answer her e-mails. (I finally shamed or panicked GraceJoan into doing it -- and lo and behold -- a beautiful apartment was found for the poor poster plus champagne blah blah! Perfect!
But the poster was so upset by all the vicious people in the thread (GraceJoan started out by accusing her of being "zeppole" in disguise for complaining about PP) --- that she asked the editors to take it town. But some people -- ahem -- didn't post for awhile (with a technical assist from Fodor's editors).
Who ever has anything to do in Italy? Or: Ever heard of multitasking? Or crack memory?
MmePerdu, you are indeed lost.
But the poster was so upset by all the vicious people in the thread (GraceJoan started out by accusing her of being "zeppole" in disguise for complaining about PP) --- that she asked the editors to take it town. But some people -- ahem -- didn't post for awhile (with a technical assist from Fodor's editors).
Who ever has anything to do in Italy? Or: Ever heard of multitasking? Or crack memory?
MmePerdu, you are indeed lost.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 01:18 PM
#85
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<Lots of Aussie blokes have the impression Europe is a whole lot of old boring churches and culture, things they aren't into at home so why bother with it on holiday! >
What an ugly generalisation. None of the 'Aussie blokes' I know are like this. I think you have the bogan stereotype of the terrified and uncultured Australian cornered.
You recommend Barcelona's festivals, the main one being in September (Festes de la Merce) and then recommend the San Fermin Festival in Pamplona which is 500km away from Barcelona and held in July. This would not work - logically - and I don't see any room for the OP to visit Paris which is what she wanted in the beginning. All this bending over backwards to accommodate the husband. In any case, doubtful she will be back.
What an ugly generalisation. None of the 'Aussie blokes' I know are like this. I think you have the bogan stereotype of the terrified and uncultured Australian cornered.
You recommend Barcelona's festivals, the main one being in September (Festes de la Merce) and then recommend the San Fermin Festival in Pamplona which is 500km away from Barcelona and held in July. This would not work - logically - and I don't see any room for the OP to visit Paris which is what she wanted in the beginning. All this bending over backwards to accommodate the husband. In any case, doubtful she will be back.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 01:29 PM
#86
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Why does everyone need to attack each other! Just STOP!
Aren't community forums meant to be for people to open discussions they want to discuss? Yes I understand the need for some negative comments where due, but this is just ridiculous!
Just because you don't agree with something someone said doesn't mean you need to a. Comment and b. Put that person down.
As many of you have said to me, if you don't like someone's comment then disregard it and continue with the discussion at hand that is relevant to the original post.
* and on behalf of the 'Aussies' (eg my hubby) who like to drink beer, chill out and don't show much interest in churches and museums and etc does not make them Bogans either. They are men and women who work hard and like to relax on their holiday in their own way.
Aren't community forums meant to be for people to open discussions they want to discuss? Yes I understand the need for some negative comments where due, but this is just ridiculous!
Just because you don't agree with something someone said doesn't mean you need to a. Comment and b. Put that person down.
As many of you have said to me, if you don't like someone's comment then disregard it and continue with the discussion at hand that is relevant to the original post.
* and on behalf of the 'Aussies' (eg my hubby) who like to drink beer, chill out and don't show much interest in churches and museums and etc does not make them Bogans either. They are men and women who work hard and like to relax on their holiday in their own way.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 01:44 PM
#87
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Stef - showing zero interest in culture = bogan by definition. Sorry if you disagree. I wonder how many beer drinkers/chill-outers who go to Bali have ever visited the temples at Tanah Lot or bothered to find out anything about Buddhism and other aspects of fast disappearing local culture? Or if they are even aware how mass tourism is affecting the island, how it is drowning in rubbish and the water supply is threatened?
No one is denying anyone the right to holiday their own way and you have received tons of advice. Stop being so defensive. Do some of your own research about the Algarve in Portugal or the islands of Ibiza and other places that would appeal to him. I hope you get your Paris time, eventually.
No one is denying anyone the right to holiday their own way and you have received tons of advice. Stop being so defensive. Do some of your own research about the Algarve in Portugal or the islands of Ibiza and other places that would appeal to him. I hope you get your Paris time, eventually.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 02:18 PM
#88
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Hi Stef, glad to see you are still on board! This is an unfortunate first experience on this forum, but don't lose faith!
This is a link you might find helpfulhttp://www.findfestival.com/spain/barcelona/page2/
Lots going on in Barcelona all year round.
Forget the name calling, who cares about the detractors.
You can manage this, its about putting together a plan that you will both enjoy, and almost any country will have things places and events you will enjoy. Have you considered checking his favourite performer, band tour, you could plan around that, or his fav movie,ie the James Bond locations? This might be another starting point, or where his family roots are? I'm sure you can spark his interest. Consider an openjaw ticket too, fly in to one destination, out of another, ie into Barcelona out of Paris, or a layover in Dubai on the way there or back.
Keep going, you will be fine.
This is a link you might find helpfulhttp://www.findfestival.com/spain/barcelona/page2/
Lots going on in Barcelona all year round.
Forget the name calling, who cares about the detractors.
You can manage this, its about putting together a plan that you will both enjoy, and almost any country will have things places and events you will enjoy. Have you considered checking his favourite performer, band tour, you could plan around that, or his fav movie,ie the James Bond locations? This might be another starting point, or where his family roots are? I'm sure you can spark his interest. Consider an openjaw ticket too, fly in to one destination, out of another, ie into Barcelona out of Paris, or a layover in Dubai on the way there or back.
Keep going, you will be fine.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 02:21 PM
#89
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Bogan is Aussie slang and unless you know the real meaning of the word it is offensive to throw around. It has nothing to do with cultural interest.
We work hard, and in his case dangerous jobs. We take pride in our home and appearance. We have visited monasteries, shrines and befriended and eaten meals with many locals in Asian countries we have visited. We also drink beer and have fun! We are not Bogans! Nor are my neighbors, my friends and my family.
I believe what you are referring to are binge drinkers and they are found in every nation, not ours alone.
We are the same as every other person on this forum he is just not interested in standard European cultural exhibits!
We work hard, and in his case dangerous jobs. We take pride in our home and appearance. We have visited monasteries, shrines and befriended and eaten meals with many locals in Asian countries we have visited. We also drink beer and have fun! We are not Bogans! Nor are my neighbors, my friends and my family.
I believe what you are referring to are binge drinkers and they are found in every nation, not ours alone.
We are the same as every other person on this forum he is just not interested in standard European cultural exhibits!
Jan 2nd, 2016, 02:23 PM
#90
Steff my husband was not interested in travel when we met either, and he loves to watch sport, which I find completely dull.
On our trip to Cambodia, I confess I took our boys temple hopping while he watched the football grand final in the hotel. 1 day of temple exploring was enough for him and it's his holiday too.
He has been more willing to try new destinations, stayed in a tree house in a jungle in Thailand, and my compromise was to follow that with a resort stay afterwards (not my thing).
Europe has been a great destination for us, for example beautiful mountain/ forest walks with lovely beer gardens en route
, the car museum in Mulhouse for our car mad son but we all loved it, and castles appeal to most Aussies.
I find the long haul flight excruciating, but my husband seems to like the time to 'wind down' from work and then he's good to go when we hit Europe.
Best wishes for finding a solution that works for you both.
On our trip to Cambodia, I confess I took our boys temple hopping while he watched the football grand final in the hotel. 1 day of temple exploring was enough for him and it's his holiday too.
He has been more willing to try new destinations, stayed in a tree house in a jungle in Thailand, and my compromise was to follow that with a resort stay afterwards (not my thing).
Europe has been a great destination for us, for example beautiful mountain/ forest walks with lovely beer gardens en route
, the car museum in Mulhouse for our car mad son but we all loved it, and castles appeal to most Aussies. I find the long haul flight excruciating, but my husband seems to like the time to 'wind down' from work and then he's good to go when we hit Europe.
Best wishes for finding a solution that works for you both.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 02:43 PM
#91
Here are my photos from 2014, my husband loved that trip smaller places, but nothing off the beaten path, so all easily visited by train.
https://flic.kr/s/aHskfL3qzw
If you scroll through the various albums, you'll find our Asian trips there, too, I do the planning, he just makes a few requests (eg stay in arrival city for a day or 2 to get over jetlag).
smaller places, but nothing off the beaten path, so all easily visited by train. https://flic.kr/s/aHskfL3qzw
If you scroll through the various albums, you'll find our Asian trips there, too, I do the planning, he just makes a few requests (eg stay in arrival city for a day or 2 to get over jetlag).
Jan 2nd, 2016, 02:50 PM
#93
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My 2¢, as someone who does not hang out on this board. Flights from AUS are long, such as expensive trip IMO should be something all traveling should really want.
So I would continue to do trips closer to home until such time that either both partners can agree to go their separate ways a bit in Europe, the husband decided to find a way to enjoy a European trip for the sake of his wife, or they both learn that separate vacations are sometimes the best solution.
So I would continue to do trips closer to home until such time that either both partners can agree to go their separate ways a bit in Europe, the husband decided to find a way to enjoy a European trip for the sake of his wife, or they both learn that separate vacations are sometimes the best solution.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 02:51 PM
#94
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Stef - the point I (and maybe some others) were trying to make was that if your husband prefers to chill out on the beach most of the time and if he hasn't noticed (or doesn't care) this is making you bored or restless then it doesn't really matter what we suggest, he's unlikely to be tempted to try something different - hence the comments about either holidaying alone or working out some sort of system for going your own separate ways and meeting up for meals or some shared activity periodically.
I genuinely do think that if either partner is unwilling to compromise it makes it hard to have a successful joint holiday - its not about unsolicited marriage guidance - its just difficult to find a solution when one person doesn't even seem to realise there is a problem.
Anyway, just so you don't think I am having a go without providing any constructive advice here is my suggestion:-
I had a great long weekend in the Czech Republic a year or so back. Not Prague - but the east of the country which has some great breweries and beer spas. You can bathe in the by products of the brewing process, have massages with beer or grape oils, and of course do brewery crawls, tastings and tours. In addition there is some lovely countryside (wooded hills and mountains with walking and bike trails, forests with bears and wolves), pretty mountain villages and larger towns like Ostrava with food and music festivals. I loved it and would go back in a flash. If you click on my ID you will hopefully be able to find my trip report relatively easily.
I genuinely do think that if either partner is unwilling to compromise it makes it hard to have a successful joint holiday - its not about unsolicited marriage guidance - its just difficult to find a solution when one person doesn't even seem to realise there is a problem.
Anyway, just so you don't think I am having a go without providing any constructive advice here is my suggestion:-
I had a great long weekend in the Czech Republic a year or so back. Not Prague - but the east of the country which has some great breweries and beer spas. You can bathe in the by products of the brewing process, have massages with beer or grape oils, and of course do brewery crawls, tastings and tours. In addition there is some lovely countryside (wooded hills and mountains with walking and bike trails, forests with bears and wolves), pretty mountain villages and larger towns like Ostrava with food and music festivals. I loved it and would go back in a flash. If you click on my ID you will hopefully be able to find my trip report relatively easily.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 03:32 PM
#96
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Stef
Since I figure you consider my comments snarky, I'd like to point out that
- this is indeed a public travel forum
- we are not all into psychiatry or wedding counsellors
- you are the one who describes you husband as a total moron (hope it is not that offensive) : you tell us that he has zero interest except beer, beaches and tattoos.
So yes, in this case, either you cope with it or just go alone but don't ask how we would do if you don't like the answers.
I could not go with a wife who has zero interest and I would not be happy, but really not happy to have my wife coming on a forum to tell the whole world I only want to stay in a transat on a beach with a beer in a hand and a tattoo book in the other.
I've met some Aussies, they are not all drunkards but you make it sound like they are.
So don't scream like a virgin if you are schocked by the answers you get. You get answers related to what you post.
Do you use the idiom 'one harvests what one sows ?'
Have a nice vacation. A all-inclusive hotel somewhere with some visits for you ? Turkey - Spain for good weather ?
Since I figure you consider my comments snarky, I'd like to point out that
- this is indeed a public travel forum
- we are not all into psychiatry or wedding counsellors
- you are the one who describes you husband as a total moron (hope it is not that offensive) : you tell us that he has zero interest except beer, beaches and tattoos.
So yes, in this case, either you cope with it or just go alone but don't ask how we would do if you don't like the answers.
I could not go with a wife who has zero interest and I would not be happy, but really not happy to have my wife coming on a forum to tell the whole world I only want to stay in a transat on a beach with a beer in a hand and a tattoo book in the other.
I've met some Aussies, they are not all drunkards but you make it sound like they are.
So don't scream like a virgin if you are schocked by the answers you get. You get answers related to what you post.
Do you use the idiom 'one harvests what one sows ?'
Have a nice vacation. A all-inclusive hotel somewhere with some visits for you ? Turkey - Spain for good weather ?
Jan 2nd, 2016, 03:59 PM
#97
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Blueeyedcod, bogan is a really offensive term! And it was completely unwarranted.
Stef, I'm sorry you've had this experience here. Fodor's can be really helpful, so don't be afraid to keep posting.
Stef, I'm sorry you've had this experience here. Fodor's can be really helpful, so don't be afraid to keep posting.
Jan 2nd, 2016, 04:14 PM
#99
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Stef, I haven't read this whole thread -- just enough to get the gist. Don't want to get involved in the controversy but I recommend that you and your husband check out the island of Hvar in Croatia. Or find a yacht trip that goes to other Croatian islands. Gorgeous, affordable, magical, delicious food...with culture for you and relaxation and an epic party scene for him. You can combine this trip with a visit to Split, which is a cool medieval coastal town, as well as Dubrovnik, which is more touristy but also has a beach.
Another thing you need to know is that many/most of the posters here are in their 50s, 60s and 70s and have different sensibilities...but you've probably figured that out.
Another thing you need to know is that many/most of the posters here are in their 50s, 60s and 70s and have different sensibilities...but you've probably figured that out.
