Here's the situation: While doing genealogy research, I met a person who recently retired from an attraction in London we are very much interested in visiting. He can get us free passes and has offered to give us a private tour which were are very interested in doing.

There are 5 of us and the tickets would have run us about $30 US each. He is not charging us for the tour, but would accept a gratuity. He is bringing a friend with him.

What do you think I should give him in the way of a gratuity? The amount it would cost all of us to get in? More? Less? We would be going regardless of whether we had a private tour.

"<i>The amount it would cost all of us to get in? More? Less? </i>"

If it was a normal "guided tour" you wouldn't tip nearly as much as tour's cost. If it was in fact a $30/£18 pp tour - you'd maybe tip £2 a person.

This one is different IMO -- he isn't a tour guide and is doing it sort of as a friend. A typical small tip wouldn't express your thanks. And an overly large tip would be sort of "American over-tipping tacky-ish".

Is this a day time tour -- then I'd do something like take hi/his friend to a nice lunch before or after the tour.

That's how I'd handle it anyway.

This is an impossible question for anyone but you to answer. It's got nothing to do with cultural norms: it's all about your social antennae.

At home, you'd never dream of tipping your next door neighbour if he offered to show your children round a factory that made something (like cars) your children were interested in. You probably would tip a hotel head porter if he really did find you an exclusive tour round something interesting (we'll leave aside the silly habit that's grown up of tipping hotel staff for sending you to a crap restaurant they get a kickback from).

Which of these do you think the offer better equates to? And which do you think your new acquaintance thinks they belong to?

It's just possible your new acquaintance is suffering from a certain naive greed (nowt so queer as folk). It's probably more likely he's being helpful, so janisj's suggestion is the appropriate one.

But only you know what the relationship really is.

I am British, and have been in the situation of your guide. I would be horrified if someone tried to tip me, but would be happy if they bought me lunch. I agree with Janis.

I'd be happy with Lunch or a great bottle of wine.

Agree with everyone above. I would be offended to be tipped - too impersonal for the situation.

Thanks for the replies. I really don't know this person. He is just someone I have emailed while doing research on the same family name he is researching. We have only emailed a few times with research info.

When I accepted his offer of the tour, I sent him an email asking what the rate would be. He said there was no charge, but would accept a gratuity and "the gratuity would be left to my discretion".

He is very knowledgeable about the particular museum and its contents.

I agree that cash seems a little tacky in this situation. A nice gift -- such as the suggested bottle of wine -- seems more appropriate.

Whoa. Just saw the OP's line that "would accepy a gratuity." That changes everything. How long would the tour last? Seems as if that would be a factor in determining the gratuity. I suppose the equivalent of $5 per person would seem reasonable.

The tour could last about 3 or 4 hours.

As a tacky American, this is what I would do. Place a 20 pound note in an envelope and give it to him along with an offer for lunch.

I agree that this isn;t a situtaion for a tip. (If it were me I would be offended.) This is a personal favor and I would respond with a lunch - or at least a couple of drinks in a pub - for the guide and the friend.