I do like the ones that go

I really don't like to take public transport (having just gotten off an aircraft stuffed with people) and I want to get from Heathrow to my hotel the easiest and fastest way with carry on only. Can you help me?

I also don't have much money.

The universal rule is:

Fast, cheapest and convenient - pick two. Nothing is all 3

This applies to everything in life. Not sure how people get here without ever having learned that - but they do.

One of my other favorites is people who rent cars, bring then back with dents and damage and are then shocked - shocked! - that they get a bill for repairs. (There is always some long convoluted story about why it really isn;t their fault - but the essence of it is that they didn't buy all in insurance and now don't want to pay for damage.)

Yes ! forgot a lot of things to ask :

15. I have booked a flight my my miles but I travel in the back and my hubby upfront. I don't want to be alone, should I pay the 1000 € to be sure to seat next to him ?
16. I have a connection in Rome, I have 1 h 13 minutes - is it tight ?
17. I fly on 23 tickets
18. My passport fell in the toilet and stayed there one night, should I get another one ? Yet it still has 3 months of validity...
19. is there a laundry less than 35 meters from the patisserie ? Where can I buy soap ?
20. I want to bring a corsican cheese - how should I pack it ? We have 45 hours of travel.
21. before Rome, we'll go, to Antartica for 5 days - will it be ok with our flip flops or should buy moonboots ?

My all-time favourite was someone from India who travelled to Switzerland in November - they were to land at Zürich at 16.00 and wanted to take a panoramic train the same day down to Lake Geneva, and wondered why they could not find any. - Errrmmm, maybe because it will be pitch dark at 17.00 in November so running a panoramic train would not really make sense?

Really too bad you're not allowed into The Lounge forum, Whathello. That's where this kind of "humorous" threads belong.

This forum is to HELP people plan trips. Not to belittle and denigrate those who you think aren't as smart as you think you are.

Travel on these boards have become as self-important and humorless as an autodidactic oenophile. This is a welcome relief.

I dunno. For people who tirelessly VOLUNTEER to answer post after post from people, a lot of whom are too lazy to do any research on their own, I don't see much of a problem with a healthy and warranted vent like this...which was advertised in advance as a vent. It's good humor.

Whathello isn't banned from the Lounge - he joined Fodor's after the clampdown (and that's another vent, isn't it?) on the Lounge ensued. And trust me, he's a very smart, multilingual cookie - no need to call into question his intelligence.

<For people who tirelessly VOLUNTEER to answer post after post from people...>

StCirq, I don't see how that applies to Whathello if he only joined this month.

Whathello could be a new screen name for a long time member ��

Whathello didn't just join this month.

It is good to have some humour here.

Ah Suze.. No newbee joining 'this month' would post so much in so short a time. I prefer to change my screenname from time to time.

And newbee have also the right to post. It is also not nice to " belittle and denigrate those who you think aren't as smart [or long enough on the forum] as you think you are. "

Duh. Of course I know you aren't really new here. That's why I put the words in "quotes" each time.

raincitygirl, I think humor would be great here. I just don't think making fun of other people's questions is funny.

Duh.. Used to express disdain for something deemed stupid or obvious, especially a self-evident remark. [Imitative of an utterance attributed to slow-witted people.].

I discovered this word last week in a book where it was attribued to young teenagers - didn't know grown-ups were using it.

I didn't know you knew how old I am. Is there no end to your wisdom?

I'm following along on Whathello's rant and enjoying it. Upon meeting him at a Fodor GTG I know he is a nice guy, just poking fun. So lighten up, or simply step away.

I'm happy to step away. I didn't realize I'd walked into a Europe forum GTG of long-standing friendships.

I'm enjoying this thread too.

I love helping out but I also get exasperated at people who ask daft questions - or perhaps it would be more accurate to say lazy questions. Because things like weather enquiries are pointless - no-one can ever tell you for sure what the weather will be like on any given day. Your best bet is weather stats and if you can find Fodors you can most certainly google average temperatures in costa del whatever too.

Same for what tube station do I need for x hotel - look up their address then look at a map ffs.

There was even a guy not so long ago who wanted an entire itinerary several weeks long planned from start to finish because he was 'too busy' to do it himself.

It's not unreasonable to expect adults to have a modicum of common sense - which is why the spoof examples above are both accurate and funny. People ask that sort of stuff all the time and if they paused for just a moment before typing they'd be able to answer their own question. Its all about manners - ask nicely, put some effort in yourself to give us a starting point and we will bend over backwards.

Oh, never too old to learn and if I'm right, ffs is excellent! Too bad it doesn't sound as good out loud. The middle f doesn't go over too well among my peers.

I feel sorry for the Indian couples who want to come to europe - esp Swtiz - in midwinter for their honeymoon - obviously having no idea of the weather, short daylight hours, costs or distances.

Apparently Dec is a big month for weddings in India and a lot of summertime Switz has been featured in fils there. So these poor young people don;t get what winter really is (I guess they think the snow is only on the mountaintops as in summer images) not have a clue of prices or times to get from one place to another.

Not really their fault - but someone should take a flounder in the face to their travel agents.

I think you underestimate the resourcefulness of the young people of India who are in a position to think about a honeymoon in Switzerland. India has a well-developed high tech industry and (gasp) the internet. They have, if you recall, the Himalayas, that dwarf the Alps, with real snow and resorts called Hill Stations. Yes, the cost may be a surprise initially but they're fully capable of doing their research online, as we all are. So even if a few make it to Fodor's forums unenlightened, I suspect they represent a very small minority of "the Indian couples who want to come to europe - esp Swtiz - in midwinter for their honeymoon". Stereotypes abound.