Nina66

Some years ago, after just returning from a European trip, we ran into one of DH's old flames at a party.

We told her about our trip and mentioned that the dollar was pretty weak at that time.

She said, "Yeah, I know. I am going to Hawaii in a few weeks, and I'm really worried about that!"

DH's excuse for dating her, (25 years ago) .....'she was an arobatics instructor' ;-)

Nina66

DUH ... who's the dumb one, she could do them, I can't even spell it ... aerobics!

aggiemom

Thanks to whoever ressurected this one again! I'm laughing harder than ever!

merci,
mom

sixthlap

Here's a recent one I heard upon landing in Las Vegas and on our way to the gate. Over the intercom, the flight attendent says, "Sorry for the bumpy ride to our terminal. It's not our fault. It's definitely not the pilot's fault. It's the asphalt!"
Get it?! I thought that was pretty funny.

Linda431

Towards the end of our viewing the Vatican exhibit at the world's fair we were stopped in front of the Shroud of Turin.

Our then 12 year-old daughter said in a loud voice,
"I'm sorry but none of this impresses me".

mag1218

I was studying German in a small town in Bavaria. One day I was out in the countryside taking a hike and lost my way. Feeling confident in my speaking ability, I approached an old farmer and told him I was lost. His response was so confusing to me and spoken in such a dialect that I retraced my steps instead of trying to find the way. Back in class on Monday, I told my story to the class. The teacher couldn't stop laughing. Seems that instead of saying I was lost, spatially, I'd actually told that poor old farmer that I was lost, spiritually. The teacher assumed the farmer was directing me to the closest church.

momofrajah

Am telling on myself, but plead that I was deliriously ill!! In a small emergency room in Southern France, I tried to explain that I had "poisson ivy" No, no, I recanted - I did not mean fish ivy!! I then tried "le jardin" while miming digging in the ground, but the doctor kindly explained that I would survive and not need to be buried in the garden. Fortunately, Prednisone is the same in any language and we finally came to a happy meeting of the minds!!

laclaire

in BCN:
18-20ish girl: "Oh my God. That is a hooker." (pointing to a hooker).
her friend: Don't point. You will have to pay for that.

in Marrakech:
Guy at a juice stand to me "Yoo hoo! Hello how are you i'm fine."

in Siena:
My mother: Claire, where are we going?
me: I don't know. I've never been here before.
mom: But you said Italy was a lot like Spain.

murphy89

Don't know what happened there - sorry bout that

murphy89

Ok really weird posting problem - looks like I've posted twice, but havn't at all....anyway:

A friend and I recently went visited a National park to do some hiking and selected a trial called "the wood bufflo trail". We kept having to go off into the bush to circumnavigate bison hanging out right on the path.

Up to my neck in thistle, I turn to my friend and say:

"well, I guess this is what we get for choosing the "wood buffalo trail" in rutting season.

She looks at me soulfully, an assortment of twigs sticking out of her hair and replies:

"I thought maybe the trail was shaped like a buffalo".

Silly bug.

Cheers,

Murphy

Britty

My boyfriend is half Belgian and can pass for a Frenchman. When we travel to France, people always stop him and ask him questions in French. He doesn't speak a word. So, this one time, we were traveling on the Metro and someone asked him if he spoke French, "Parlez-vous francais?". He replyed in his best French, "No, vous parlez francais." Which means, "No, you speak French." To this day, it makes me laugh.

amor

Many, many years ago in Cozumel (before it became a big cruise ship port) we overheard a woman repeatedly whine "I want to go to chicken its" over and over again and louder each time. It took awhile to figure out that she meant the ruins Chichen Itza. She couldn't figure out how to communicate what she wanted other than to talk louder. So now on vacation "I bet she wants to go to Chicken Its" has become code to for someone being whiny or complaining about people not speaking English.

aucho53

This is a great thread!

I was in Florence in 2004 with 3 friends (former friends actually, since the trip we havent spoken at all....it was a nightmare!)

As we were shopping around the market, one of my friend's wanted to purchase a nice leather purse. She started bargaining with the vendor, but was offering him a price obviously lower than what he wanted to accept. He kept telling her this was top quality italian leather...which it was. One of my other friend's decided to chime in her two (embarassing) cents and said "This isn't good quality, I grew up in an Italian family I think I know my leather"!!!
I couldn't believe it, I was so ashamed to me with her. Could you believe the nerve of some 21 year old punk Canadian chick telling an Italian leather vendor IN ITALY that she knows more about leather than he does???

Totally mortifying.....I'm sure you can all imagine why we no longer speak! LOL!

Layla

PatrickLondon

Just this morning, on the bus to work. A little boy and his grandfather got on and sat behind me. They'd obviously just returned a hired car or van, and grandfather was explaining about returning it filled up with fuel: "If they give it to you with a full tank, you have to return it full; or they'll fill it up for you, but they'll charge you"

Little boy: "Like a rhino?"

And bless his heart, grandad said without a beat:

"No, that wouldn't be good for custom, if the man leapt over the counter and charged at the people, would it?"

Plates

A young (15 or so) American boy to an older companion whilst admiring the Statue of David in Florence:

"You know - it's amazing that they made this without the aid of laser guided cutting equipment"

hopingtotravel

When our son was about 12, we stopped off one weekend on our way home from the Kenai River to Anchorage to watch the Bore Tide. Turnagin Arm has one of the highest bore tides in the world. Unfortunately, when you are on a high embankment above, and looking down on a 6 foot wall of fast-moving water it doesn't look all that tall. Our son piped out to the crowd, "I see why they call it the 'boring' tide".

Travelbug13

In Costa Rica my friend and I were at a bar and she said to me "I hope they play some Sean Paul"
And a guy who had tagged along with us from our guesthouse also from Canada
asked "What's Sean Paul, a shooter?"

riiight.....

Dejais

Overheard in an outdoor cafe at the Marina Grande in Capri....Two men, obviously American and boorishly comenting loudly on passersby, yell out to the waiter (pronouncing very slowly and deliberately), "How-a do-a you-a say-a police-a in-a Italian?" To which the waiter calmly replied, "Grazie," and walked away. I spit out my drink I was laughing so hard.

quokka

Background: "Blaues Wunder" (blue miracle) is the name of a bridge at Dresden, built about a century ago and considered a miracle of engineering at that time. The bridge was painted blue, but in the long run the colour has faded to a pale turquoise.

We were standing at a viewpoint on a hill high above the bridge (Loschwitzer Höhe, for those who know Dresden) when a mother with her five vear old son arrived.
The little boy asked, "Mama, what is the Blue Miracle?"
Mother: "The green thing down there."
(She started laughing herself a second later.)

felicia

While on a walking tour in Amboseli National Park--the Maasai guide mentioned that the track in the ground was from the elephant dragging his trunk; blond about 18 asked where he was taking it!!! My companions and I could hardly keep our composure.