camelbak

This is a great post!

Was in Florence last year...visiting the Boboli Gardens...here is an excerpt straight out of my journal...

"At one point I walked by a group (British) and there was this little stairway leading up to this little statute, and someone in the group said 'Someone should go up there to see if there is anything worth looking at'.

Suffice to say I was rather stunned....this little stairway was right at the top of the path, above the main fountain..and when you turn around back towards the stairway you just came up..the entire palace and all of Florence is spread out below you....

see if there is anything worth looking at......

uh...yeah

J_Correa

Ok Travelbug - I give up. Who is Sean Paul?

katya_NY

Sean Paul= Reggae-esque singer/rapper.

luvlondon

I don't know how I ever missed this thread. I have been laughing soooooo hard! About 12 years ago I was in Manaus, Brazil with 4 preachers and their wives on a missin trip. One of the wives had been a career missionary in Africa. I was a travel agent at the time and had done alot of research on their customs and what not to do. (I was just a regular person on our trip...meaning I was not married to a preacher nor had I ever been a career missionary), After we had checked in at our hotel the wife who had been a missionary tried to obtain a face cloth from one of the housekeeper. When she thought the housekeeper understood what she wanted the gave the OK sign with her index finger on the thumb. In Brazil, the OK sign meant middle finger in Brazil. When she realized what she had done, she turned so red with embarassment she looked purple. She then commented that she never even used the OK sign back home in the USA. By the way...she never did receive any face cloths either.

camelbak

ttt

Teabag

American gentleman in the Dublin, Ireland zoo taking a picture of a raccoon, says knowingly to his wife, "I just want to get a picture of this one in its natural habitat Dear!"

LoveItaly

Just today I was thinking of an incident (thanks to a comment on another board) and than tonight I see this thread.

We were on an island in the Carribean (I don't remember which one, maybe Jamica). Anway we were at a great funky bar/cafe. Everyone was having predinner drinks. Two American couples came in and one of the men obviously had already had a lot to drink. They ordered beers, he had a Bud or something. They had a couple of rounds. Everyone noticed them as the tippsy guy was quite loud and irritating. Well he had a fit and a half when it was time to pay because he said he was getting ripped off because his beers was twice as much as the other beers. The poor waiter got all flustered. One of the men at another table (American group) said something like "hey buddy, you ordered an imported beer that is why yours cost more". The drunk slammed his fist on his table and roared "IMPORTED HELL, I DRINK THIS BEER EVERY NIGHT AFTER WORK, THIS AIN'T NO IMPORTED BEER, DON'T GIVE ME THAT SH*T!" The other American gentleman said "well yeah bubba, except you AIN'T AT HOME AFTER WORK NOW. In case you haven't noticed you are NOT in the good ole USA. So shut up and pay up". The entire room broke into laughter and applause. The drunk's buddy quickly paid the bill and they were outta there, lol.

LeeParis

Sitting in the airport in Boston waiting for our flight to be called...BF and I overhear man talking on his cell phone saying with great assurance: "Yes, we CAN roast your nuts."

Getting my hair cut shortly after returning from a trip to Europe earlier this year. Hairdresser asks about the trip. One highlight I mention is finally returning to the Louvre in Paris after not being there for many years. I mention that we, of course, stopped to see the Mona Lisa and that it was great to see her again. Hairdresser says, "I suppose it's a little different every time." Hmmmm... I reply, "No but she IS in a different room from where I saw her the first time." Hairdresser: "So, is it a show? Kind of like a musical?" Had to choke back laughter since she did have scissors in her hand!

Years ago, before my first trip overseas, I was talking to a woman I work with. I said how much I wanted to go to Europe and felt England would be a good start. We both work and live in Massachusetts. She mentioned that her sister-in-law was thinking of going somewhere but the SIL would rather go to Hawaii. Besides "She wouldn't want to go all the way to England. That's too far away." LOL! I had to use my primitive artistic skills to draw a map of where Massachusetts is in relation to England and Hawaii.

LeeParis

sashh

My parents can be quite wicke4d when there are american tourists about.

A conversation they had in venice went something like

Dad: are you sure this is amsterdam
Mum: Of course I'm sure, look canals, boats, tourists - amsterdam
Dad: But we seemed to drive an awful long way, and it seems a bit warm
Mum: well amsterdam can be warm, where else could we be? Look lots of water, people speaking foreign - amsterdam.


I'm not sure I find it funny but they certainly did at the time.

Ralstonlan

Not really traveling, but at a Harvard-Dartmouth football game. A father and son were coming out of the men's room and another patron said to them, "At Dartmouth we are taught to wash our hands." Without missing a beat, the father said, "At Harvard we are taught not to piss on out hands!"

1travelbug

On a recent trip to Paris, I took my girlfriend to see Sacre-Coeur (her first time). We decided to take the long walk up the steps, and when we got close to the top she asked, "Why are all these people sitting here waiting?"

Evidently, she thought that the tourists facing away from Sacre Coeur were waiting for a bus...

I told her to turn around and enjoy the view!

Wanda1

While in Beijing ended up eating in a restaurant called Moscow Bar eating russian food listening to a chinese band singing Rocky Mountain High by John Denver! We couldn't contain ourselves!!

moldyhotelsaregross

Thanks for the laughs!

RufusTFirefly

We were checking into our hotel in Costa Rica a few years ago and there was a German couple ahead of us.

Herr Gutschmidt asked the Costa Rican desk clerk "Is it safe to drink the water here?"

To which the clerk replied "Of course it is; Costa Rica is not Mexico."

sixthlap

OK, so my brother called me the other day and gave me some rough details on his TDY. He said something along the following, "OK, I can't be 100% sure about my plans, but let me see what my itinerary looks like." Being the goofy brother that I am, I responded with "It's probably paper with alot of words. Maybe 8-1/2 x 11."

kerouac

A code phrase for stupid tourists was coined many years ago in my family -- and when I say many years ago, this was after a transatlantic sailing of the steamship Liberté from New York to Le Havre, followed by the boat train (a steam engine back then!) from Le Havre to Gare Saint Lazare in Paris. I was all of 6 years old. My family shared a compartment with an American couple who had also been on the ship. As we rode through the Norman countryside, the woman exclaimed in amazement, "They have COWS here!"
Ever since then, whenever we see a stupid tourist, no matter what the nationality, somebody always says, "they have cows here!"

waring

Overheard at the Barbacan centre in London. As you may know English bacon is different, ie, thicker, less fatty and not generally cooked to a crisp as in the US.

Two Americans:

"Hey that bacon at breakfast was great"

"Yeah, but they don't even bake it, why don't they call if fry-on?"

cls2paris

I was traveling with a group of Americans. We were walking along the tower bridge and one of the women said to her friend "It is so fun to hear African Americans speak with a British accent"...

waring

Not exactly on topic, but I was trying to buy a "bottle of water" in Santa Monica, with my English accent, and was getting nowhere.

Exasperated I resorted to asking for "abaddlawadda" which acheived the desired result.

wally34949

A young American girl about 14 was crying on the street in Paris. Her tour guide came up to her and said, "Don't you want to see the Louvue Museum?"

The girl said, No!

"Don't you want to see the Notre Dame Cathedral?" said the tour guide.

The young girl said, No!

"Well then, what do you want to do in Paris," said the tour guide.

The young girl responded, "I want to go to the Hard Rock Cafe and get T-shirts."