WOW! Whoa! Thanks all for your thoughtful, insightful and amusing comments. They enabled me to look more objectively at this. I'm not trying to change anyone, I just want to share what I consider to be a delightful love of travel. And he's no more of a couch potato than I am. <BR> <BR>Janice, Liz, Sue, Ellen, Jordie, Marge, Glorida and Paige: Thank you especially for showing me that it may be just a matter of opening the door and inviting him in. This gentleman (and he is) and I share a common interest in history. We've search out his family's towns in Ireland and Italy on maps; his favorite sculpture is The Dying Gaul, so I gave him a small replica and we've identified the museum in Rome housing the original. As a scientist he loves his walks in the woods and I'm happy to join him, but he also loves the excitement and energy of big cities. One of his first approaches to me (an Eng Lit major) was to give me his copy of Samuel Johnson's biography - and he could discuss it! And we've done the equivalent of the wall-papering exercise: cleaning up after a hurricane. We're neither very controlling or rigid. And we really like each other a lot. <BR> <BR>I may be coming from a "once burned" perspective but that's not fair to him. Still, Mark is right, life's special moments must be shared with someone special. As a terminal romantic, I find charm in the most simple moments and I want my guy to share the thrill, not merely endure. Yes, Wendy, I've looked into someone's eyes and seen: NOTHING! That's when alone is better. <BR> <BR>So - okay, here's what I've done. I called and said, "I'm going to Paris in May. You're my number one choice for companion." He said, "I'm in." So now I'm envisioning a languid dinner at a cafe, several glasses of wine, a walk along the quay, long kisses in the gathering dusk. Next year, hike the Appalachian Trail. This just might work. <BR> <BR>Again, thanks all. I think we can let this dog lie sleeping.

Don't marry a man with the intentions of changing anything about him. If you don't love him as he is your whole marriage will be difficult. <BR>You haven't traveled with him so you don't know how it will be. Are you convinced that it would be better not to marry a man who does not like to travel so now you are saying that this one is not good enough unless he changes? <BR>Think about it...do you want him to pretend he is something he isn't? Is that fair? <BR>You have to be honest with each other. Traveling 1 or 2 weeks out of the year with our him won't kill you. It will even give you things to talk about. <BR>I also agree that no company is better than bad company, as stated above. Do you really want to save $5000 to go to Europe on your only time off and have a sorry-sack, bore, grouch-pot, with you. <BR>If he doesn't like it go alone.

Shanna, we all wish you well on your trip to Paris with Mark in May! And of course curious minds (ours!) will want to know how things worked out. He sounds darned great to me, BTW. I would just issue one small warning. You already have "visions" of what it will be like. Don't set yourself up to be disappointed if your own personal vision doesn't come true exactly. Try to take what comes and enjoy that, because it does sound as if it's going to be good, whatever it looks like. <BR>

Hey Shanna! That's great! If he's a history buff, he's bound to like it! Here's a thought, give him a book on the French Revolution before the trip. I bet that would spark his interest!

Shanna, have a great trip! The only problem now will be that you may be creating a monster and you'll never be able to get away by yourself! <BR>

Glad to hear about your trip together to Paris. Have a great time. From what you wrote it sounds like he is going to be a trale bug...loves history, art,...How about wine and fantastic food? <BR>

Cindy, I take your point. <BR> <BR>I'm not married so I cannot speak from experience, I hold my hands up to that. However, I do think it's important, like in all aspects of life, to make the effort. Swigging a can of bud and looking over at the old lady to say 'Yeah that sounds swell, honey' doesn't cut it.

Shanna, I really liked your reply and have a good trip. He sure sounds like a keeper to me. Good luck.

Just a follow up / re-evaluation of what I said / didn't say. I think the idea of starting small is a good idea. Some people are really intimidated by being in an unfamiliar environment and need to teethe on something less foreign. Being somewhat Euro-centric right now - I forget that there are many incredible places here in the USA that I have not seen yet (example: Yellowstone in the winter). I have enough friends in relationships to know that it is about give and take - I suppose that's what differs us from children. I do think that there should be some shared passions / interests and complementry (sp?) interests. I don't believe in the perfect match - I would be happy with a diamond in the rough. Wendy hit it dead on - no company is better than bad company. Don't avert / subvert your passions just because you don't have someone to share it with - solo vs. companion dilemma - but that's another thread.

OY VEY!!!! <BR>You guys are putting me out of business.

Ditto what Mark and Wendy initially said...I could not have said it better. <BR>However, different strokes for different folks... we all have our priorities.

Hmmm...if he won't go with you, go by yourself or with friends or however you've BEEN going.... BUT--make sure he's not going to mind if you do go w/o him. ...ASK him!

Absolutely! <BR> <BR>This isn't about dumping someone because they don't like European travel. Not EVERY detail will ever match in two people, that makes it interesting! I was only trying to voice that if you have serious passions...it IS nice to have someone that shares those passions...be it bird watching or snow boarding! If they don't share any of your passions it may work for each of you...some of us obviously prefer it different...there really isn't a right or wrong way. There ARE worse things than not liking travel...but again, if it is your passion how can you share in it together? <BR> <BR>Married or not, successfully traveling with someone means teamwork and dividing responsibilities. <BR> <BR>Tony, I loved the beer comment. I had to laugh out loud! <BR> <BR>Mark is right on with the traveling solo vs. companion...I can't imagine the wonderful things I'd have missed if I waited on someone else to initiate the travel and to go! <BR> <BR>Shanna- I also agree with KK to be careful not to set yourself up for failure on envisioning what will happen...I am thrilled he is going with you...this is more than a journey to Paris, I think it will tell you much more, and I hope that it works out for the best! <BR> <BR>Please do jeep us informed of how it turned out? We are pulling for you. <BR> <BR>BTW, I live between Paris and the states, let me know if I can suggest anything for you. <BR> <BR>Bonne chance! <BR>Wendy

Okay, I must be doing too much at once. I meant KEEP us informed, not Jeep. I'm writing a proposal for them at the same time. Oh how the subliminal creeps in. <BR> <BR>Shanna, so let us know. <BR>Wendy

Topped for Marie!

Josie - thanks for topping this wonderful thread. I check out the European board almost daily, and somehow I didn't realize the content of this thread and didn't check it out. <BR> <BR>I feel like a new person after reading the posts. Packing my bags and on my way (without him). Thanks. Marie