Drunk Mom's Travel Limericks

Reply Subscribe

Thread Tools

Search this Thread

Jun 25th, 1999, 12:20 PM

#21

pam

Guest

Posts: n/a

O, Calvin he went to Paris to escape the scourge of Missouri it was not, he figgered possible to get chiggered on top of Eiffel, Tour d' (apologies to Calvin Trillin)

Jun 25th, 1999, 01:02 PM

#22

Neal Sanders

Guest

Posts: n/a

Lament of an apparently aging Fodors contributor, stung by impertinent youth: A student from Europe did jeer About taxes on Norweigan beer The thread caught my fancy And even if chancy For Al Clem's retort did I cheer. When limerick time did take five My mind did immed'tly derive A tune from the Beatles From a time when did needles On grooves in a record arrive. "Norwegian Wood" came to mind So slyly I paired up my find I thought it was clever I didn't fear ever I'd go over the head of my kind. A young Fodors reader then sended A message to me, quite offended The Beatles he knew of But Norway? No clue of The punning connection intended. So now I feeling quite old My time has elapsed so I'm told My ref'rences dated My fogeyhood fated My writing career I shall fold.

Jun 25th, 1999, 01:13 PM

#23

Beth

Guest

Posts: n/a

While reading Neal Sander's rhyme I'm laughing all of the time some of us got your joke on the spot so perhaps you're just in your prime!

Jun 25th, 1999, 07:07 PM

#24

April

Guest

Posts: n/a

Keep 'em coming Brian in Atlanta. I'm still chuckling over your 'Italy with your Aunts' one posted previously. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap...

Jun 26th, 1999, 11:05 PM

#25

D.B.

Guest

Posts: n/a

If the world was flat, and my teeth didn't fit, Would that mean I was a Brit? If you heard Martha my dear, and a Beatle girly, Where do they mention the swirly? If you forgot the washcloth, and you are in Europa, What will you do with the sopa? If standby is torture, and I'm a wheel in a cog, Would this be Amsterdam or Prague? Is it Isle de la Cite or Ill St. Louis, and if I don't know, Should I go? If you want to know, but won't ask the question, How will you find the Ascension? If it is not germain, but the answer is forty-two, Does that make the center the Louvre? If you were a Celt in a kilt, and pined for U.S., Gan aft aglay too-roo-loos? If you can't see L.A., then what do you call it, Could it be just dust from a comet? If you live in Tucson, then don't put us on son, Would you try some bull-fry for a lesson? If my mother was drunk, and my daddy was stoned, Would I be from El Cajon? If not last but least, and certainly in peace, I will go calmly to my rest in Niece.

Jun 27th, 1999, 07:17 AM

#26

raeona

Guest

Posts: n/a

All of the folks here at Fodor's With rhyming & aid, run their motors. Their wit is a feat; And advice can't be beat. So welcome, all you take-noters. The Fowlers - both - and other regs, Give helpful comments -- pos and negs. Now, profound poesy Makes this day rosy, And helps us steer clear of the dregs.

Jun 27th, 1999, 07:17 AM

#27

raeona

Guest

Posts: n/a

Jun 27th, 1999, 07:22 AM

#28

raeona

Guest

Posts: n/a

In 'puter-land, few things are worse'n The oft-clicking, impatient person Who dumbly posts twice; It's really not nice, And sets other readers to cursin'!

Jun 27th, 1999, 06:32 PM

#29

wes fowler

Guest

Posts: n/a

Hi, Mom! There once was a lass named Marie Who had wanted to see Gay Paree. She came here to Fodor's To learn about odors That occur in the W.C. She also was thoroughly curious About rumors totally spurious, That an American wench Would be disdained by the French. If so, she'd be highly furious. She was a spectacular eyefull In her tight fitting, bright yellow pants. She drew many a glance From the manhood of France As she sashayed around the Tour Eiffel. She opted to stay on in France. There were only two French words she knew. She'd heard them before Each time that she wore The tight fitting bright yellow pants. Sacre bleu!

Jun 28th, 1999, 10:41 AM

#30

Brian in Atlanta

Guest

Posts: n/a

They stand on the train with clenched fists. Their fanny packs look like large cysts. They gawk and they gape Trying to get it all on tape. They’re the infamous daytrip tourists. Anyone know a good place For my roommate to put on her face? Cause checkout’s at noon, And that’s pretty soon So I don’t think we’ll make it at her pace.

Jun 28th, 1999, 02:30 PM

#31

Guest

Posts: n/a

Please forgive my poor tubby, hubby His whole life he's been kinda chubby He can't fit in his seat Cuz' he can't "Just not eat" You'd feel the same if it were Your Bubi!

Jul 4th, 1999, 10:42 AM

#32

uppity

Guest

Posts: n/a

C'mon..... there's more out there...

Jul 4th, 1999, 02:20 PM

#33

D.B.

Guest

Posts: n/a

There once was a man forced to stay in a hotel with opulence grande But with the air unconditioned and his robe soon recinded He reported "...I still enjoyed breakfast next day." *** There once was a man not a girlie, Who genuinely thought he was early. But when he found, they had shut the door sound He cried, "this airline deserves a swirly."

Jul 5th, 1999, 05:14 AM

#34

raeona

Guest

Posts: n/a

Plane travel's plain awful it's clear From posts from all over on here. But what else can we do? Our choices are few. And the swim is a long one, I fear.

Jul 5th, 1999, 01:12 PM

#35

Tony Hughes

Guest

Posts: n/a

Well you all might think I'm being plain rude But really I'm just misunderstood My postings get you upset When they appear on the net And yes haggis in a tube is a food.

Jul 5th, 1999, 09:51 PM

#36

raeona

Guest

Posts: n/a

Ah, but Tony, Just think as word gets out, and you land in NY and there comes a shout: They'll assume you're a "Rube" And not 'spect yer great TUBE --(of haggis) - and jealously..pout!

Jul 6th, 1999, 12:15 AM

#37

D.B.

Guest

Posts: n/a

Cheez, only a Scotsman could rhyme rude with misunderstood (well, maybe a Liverpudlian too). Tony, could you please post an audio of the following reading: "Ach, captain! I tried stuffin' a haggis in the warp drive, but she dint do a bit a good! Just kiddin' (there goes that tempo again.

Jul 6th, 1999, 12:47 AM

#38

Martha B

Guest

Posts: n/a

The (I'm not a tourist I'm a) Traveler's Lament I've memorized many a French mot My manners are tres apropos My wardrobe is black And sans fanny pack But my accent is still CHI-CA-GO!

Jul 6th, 1999, 02:20 AM

#39

D.B.

Guest

Posts: n/a

There once was a lad named cupid Who one day in Paris concluded Not an arrow would be shared 'Cause the tourists were paired All saying, alas, I'm with stupid -->

Jul 6th, 1999, 07:01 AM

#40

Brian in Atlanta

Guest

Posts: n/a

I’m thirsty in Paris but broke. On the terrace they want seven bucks for a Coke. I know that I should Go to the bar, and I would, But I can’t find it through all the smoke.

Reply Share

First
Prev
2 / 6
Next
Last