British Weather Jokes
Aug 9th, 2004, 10:25 AM
#1
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British Weather Jokes
My friend was in Galway, Ireland, not really Britain, but with the same lousy weather, where the Aran Islands lie just offshore. He was in the outdoor market and was talking with a local about the weather report as they were planning on doing a coastal drive and the old bloke delighted in telling him what must be a common joke throughout the British Isles, as he said, "Yeh if you can see the Aran Islands, it's raining. If you can't see the Aran Island, it's going to rain!" He had heard the same joke repeated during coverage of the British Open in seaside Troon, Scotland.
Have you heard any good British weather jokes? There must be a ton of them!
Have you heard any good British weather jokes? There must be a ton of them!
Aug 9th, 2004, 11:27 AM
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Actually there aren't.
Any more, I suspect than Eskimos (or whatever politically correct term the Canadians have invented for them this week) have jokes about snow, or Americans have jokes about repulsive sugary drinks.
Our weather changes a lot, and - unlike weather in North America - is never life-threatening, never causes skin cancer, and never requires a ton of protection against preposterous cold. We don't have tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, plagues of cicadas, airport-closing blizzards or temperatures over 100.
So we don't joke about our permanently near-benign weather. We just thank someone up there we live in a country where we don't need to be in permanent fear of the weather.
Any more, I suspect than Eskimos (or whatever politically correct term the Canadians have invented for them this week) have jokes about snow, or Americans have jokes about repulsive sugary drinks.
Our weather changes a lot, and - unlike weather in North America - is never life-threatening, never causes skin cancer, and never requires a ton of protection against preposterous cold. We don't have tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, plagues of cicadas, airport-closing blizzards or temperatures over 100.
So we don't joke about our permanently near-benign weather. We just thank someone up there we live in a country where we don't need to be in permanent fear of the weather.
Aug 9th, 2004, 11:37 AM
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Sorry. Brits seem as dour as their weather! Lighten up - look for one of those "sunny spells" later in the day. Those floods I saw on the telly in my B&B room in Dec 2002 that had left thousands homeless in Kent must have been a figment of my imagination.
Aug 9th, 2004, 12:22 PM
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OK, I'll rise to flanneruk's bait.
We didn't invent a politically correct name for Eskimos this week or last. For the past 40 years or so, We've simply called them by the name they've always used themselves: Inuit.
We didn't invent a politically correct name for Eskimos this week or last. For the past 40 years or so, We've simply called them by the name they've always used themselves: Inuit.
Aug 9th, 2004, 02:47 PM
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FYI-Laverendrye is right: the native Canadians call themselves Inuit, and it is my understanding that, (unlike the term "Canuck"
they do not like to be called "Eskimo," and may even at times consider it an insult.
HOWEVER, in ALASKA, the natives there DO call themselves Eskimos (I've been to Alaska a number of times, and both heard people use the term in conversation, as well as saw it in the newspapers). I was advised that Alaska "Eskimos" do not have a problem with that term as the Inuit do in Canada.
For the most part, Flanner-I agree with you about the weather in the U.K. as opposed to the States, but there is one thing: What about that fog that socks in Heathrow every other day? Granted, it's not on the same scale as a blizzard, but it certainly causes a fair amount of delay!
they do not like to be called "Eskimo," and may even at times consider it an insult. HOWEVER, in ALASKA, the natives there DO call themselves Eskimos (I've been to Alaska a number of times, and both heard people use the term in conversation, as well as saw it in the newspapers). I was advised that Alaska "Eskimos" do not have a problem with that term as the Inuit do in Canada.
For the most part, Flanner-I agree with you about the weather in the U.K. as opposed to the States, but there is one thing: What about that fog that socks in Heathrow every other day? Granted, it's not on the same scale as a blizzard, but it certainly causes a fair amount of delay!
Aug 10th, 2004, 07:37 AM
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I just read August 10 news- Sky News online- Posters should read weather description and decide for themselves.
Weather chaos in Britain- heavy rains, floods, roads closed.
Remnants of hurricane hit Britain.
This is the second bad storm in two weeks.
Sounds like just another nice day of " near-benign- never life threatening weather" as described by a previous poster.
Weather chaos in Britain- heavy rains, floods, roads closed.
Remnants of hurricane hit Britain.
This is the second bad storm in two weeks.
Sounds like just another nice day of " near-benign- never life threatening weather" as described by a previous poster.
Aug 10th, 2004, 08:33 AM
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I'll bite, here are some weather (not Briitsh)jokes.
Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?
Udder disaster!
What did the one tornado say to the other?
Let?s twist again like we did last summer.
What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?
You make my temperature rise.
What happens when fog lifts in California?
UCLA!
What?s the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up and the other rains down.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
My plop is bigger than your plop.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What did the tornado say to the other tornado?
You turn me on!
What?s the difference between weather and climate?
You can?t weather a tree, but you can climate.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
You have to been careful not to step in a poodle.
What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
Foul (fowl) weather.
What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane?
I have my eye on you.
How do you find out the weather when you?re on vacation?
Go outside and look up.
What is the Mexican weather report?
Chili today and hot tamale.
---------------------------------
A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
------------------------------------
Why Phoenix summers are sot HOT . . .
... We go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on our laps -- just to cool off!
... The farmers must feed their cows ice cubes, so they don't give powdered milk.
... The farmers feed their chickens ice chips, so they don't lay hard boiled eggs.
... They don't bother making themometers that go below 70 degrees.
Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?
Udder disaster!
What did the one tornado say to the other?
Let?s twist again like we did last summer.
What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?
You make my temperature rise.
What happens when fog lifts in California?
UCLA!
What?s the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up and the other rains down.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
My plop is bigger than your plop.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
What did the tornado say to the other tornado?
You turn me on!
What?s the difference between weather and climate?
You can?t weather a tree, but you can climate.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
You have to been careful not to step in a poodle.
What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
Foul (fowl) weather.
What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane?
I have my eye on you.
How do you find out the weather when you?re on vacation?
Go outside and look up.
What is the Mexican weather report?
Chili today and hot tamale.
---------------------------------
A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
------------------------------------
Why Phoenix summers are sot HOT . . .
... We go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on our laps -- just to cool off!
... The farmers must feed their cows ice cubes, so they don't give powdered milk.
... The farmers feed their chickens ice chips, so they don't lay hard boiled eggs.
... They don't bother making themometers that go below 70 degrees.
Aug 10th, 2004, 09:05 AM
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IMO British weather is changing - (I know climate change is a global issue but we are experiencing more extreme weather). The summers seem hotter, wide spread flooding is at least an annual event, tornadoes are springing up - (there was quite a nasty one in Selsey on the south coast a few years ago), snow in the south of UK is now an exception not the rule!
Personally, I prefer the weather when its a bit mad (although, I obviously dont want to see people hurt!) - I grew up with constant grey drizzle and boy that was dull!
I am more than happy to laugh at the British weather - but it isn't nearly as dull or predictable than it used to be!
Personally, I prefer the weather when its a bit mad (although, I obviously dont want to see people hurt!) - I grew up with constant grey drizzle and boy that was dull!
I am more than happy to laugh at the British weather - but it isn't nearly as dull or predictable than it used to be!
!
