My friend died yesterday. She was 61 years young. She was a widow, a mother, a grandmother, a retired teacher who always scolded me for my punctuation, or lack thereof. She was "the grammar queen" and I just aspired to be "the grammar princess".

She died of 'complications' from gastric bypass surgery. Seven weeks of hell in the hospital and I guess her coffin will weigh less.

As women, when we talk about the agony of trying on swimsuits, or discuss the pounds we have gained/lost on vacation, let's try to remember that we really are just fine the way we are.

Good health and 'body image' are very different issues.

To all my friends here, even though we've never met, I like you just the way you are !

Marion

Thank you for such a sage and thoughtful post. So very true. People who only view a person from the outside and never take a moment to look inside have no clue what they might be missing.
Marion I'm so sorry for your loss but how lucky for your friend to have a friend such as you. Hugs

Sorry to hear of your loss, you are right life is too short to worry. I too lost a dear friend recently just as she retired after 28 years, she passed.

I'am however a firm believer of physical fitness. If we all could just get off our @@@ and exercise and eat correctly our country would all be enjoying more satisfying lives.

The reward is living a longer life and being able to get out there and travel into an ripe old age. God Bless.

i'm so sorry for your loss marion. if only we could all be more secure in ourselves.

Thank you for this reminder. And sympathy for you in your loss.

marion- so sorry for your loss, but I "hear" what you are saying and will feel better in my bathing suit tomorrow no matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So sorry for your loss and thank you for the kind words. You are so right, we do need to accept ourselves for who we are. I've always been on the chunky side myself and know the pain.

Peace, Greenie

I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you, Marion. I lost my best friend six months ago -very suddenly to baterica meningitis. Hang in there and thanks for the message. We all need to remember how precious life is and love ourselves and each other, the way we are. Big hugs!

Marion,
I, too, am sorry for the loss of your friend.
I have experienced the lighter end of the scale and due to my stupidity in my youth, I can't have children. Now that I am older, wiser (hopefully) and some bigger, I understand that we do need to have a healthy lifestyle and appreciate ourselves for what we are. I threw out those scales and have never been happier!
I hope that many people will read and understand your very important words!

Karen

Marion - I am so sorry for your loss. It is a shame that our society puts such value on being "skinny" instead of being healthy. Thank you for the post. I think we all need reminding of this from time to time.

nice message...
but i dare say this should speak to men as well...
i have several male friends who have had the surgery and still can't be happy with themselves...
i love me and all my ass-ets
i'm sorry for your loss

oh, Marion, I'm so sorry about your friend. If you are only the grammar princess, then I would have curtsied low indeed before the Queen!

Your words are something we could all do well by ourselves to remember. Thank you for your gentle reminders that we are more than what is reflected in our mirror.

My condolences on the passing of your friend. I do not know if people truly recognize that gastric bypass surgery is a very serious surgery that can have dangerous complications. It really should only be undergone where the person is morbidly obese and has or is at great risk of acquiring weight related health problems (diabetes, heart disease, etc.). Unfortunately, due to the publicity around the surgery, particularly the high profile celebrities, it seems to be performed when the need for it is questionable at best.

Thanks to all for your kind and thoughtful responses.

There are no scales residing in my house either Karen.

The mirrors need to stay (I guess ) but I remind myself that most of them are distorted, according to MY perception of myself. I'm grateful to Diane Keaton, who while advertising a line of products, has encouraged me to laugh at the mirror.

Tom, thanks for your words of wisdom regarding this procedure. I only wish that those in the medical profession would be more honest about the risks involved. My friend was not a good candidate for the procedure...nor was she 'morbidly obese'. She just had too many scales and distorted mirrors in her house.

Hugs to all who understand that I needed to write something that might save someone else. She would have approved

Marion