xxx

We are a married couple, both 35 with no kids. We have done some island travelling but not near as much as to call us seasoned.<BR><BR>Is there a place with<BR>- no kids<BR>- working plumbing (hot and cold water 24/7)<BR>- working A/C in the room<BR>- working room safes<BR>- picturesque beachfront setting with some waves<BR>- a nice pool that is not overloaded or underloaded with chemicals<BR>- great food<BR>- great drinks<BR>- no crime<BR>- no peddlers yelling at us all day<BR>- no threats<BR>- a good comfortable bed<BR>- rent-a-cars that are relatively new<BR>- can be done from NY for $4000 or less including air<BR><BR>It seems like after our trips to the islands I am tired of dealing with crappy plumbing, rooms with plaster falling down, rooms dominated by insects, rent-a-cars that are crap, lousy food, lousy and expensive drinks, crime worse than where we live, annoying panhandlers etc...<BR><BR>Believe me I can handle foreign languages and foreign foods and their cultures but, please, is there a place where we can go to vacation that will actually raise my standard of living rather than lower it?

Chris

You need to choose your resorts/hotels more carefully.<BR>Most of your gripes would be eliminated at a nice property.<BR>Food is always overpriced in the Caribbean, especially relative to the quality compared to NYC.<BR><BR>For the $4000 limit, if you want a really good experience, you'll need to target nice resorts in off peak times. Like just before hurricane season (June-July). Lots of package deals. I remember seeing Cap Juluca at around $400/nt for a suite last summer.<BR>If you want high season at a nice place, you'll puch your price limit with food and incidentals included (but not by too much for 5-6 nights).<BR><BR>I speak from experience that once you spend a little extra for someplace really nice, you realize that all the hassles and compromises and nitpicky disappointments which allow you to save a buck at a cheaper place--suddenly become inconsequential as the quality of your vacation increases significantly.<BR><BR>Are you loking for a specific time period?

xxx

We are looking in Jan / Feb 2003. Also I forgot to add that the water should be warm enough to swim in.....<BR><BR>We don't need luxury or luxury service, just a place where things work. Quite frankly, I'm fine, if the maid comes every third day. I can reuse towels.

another X

I remember a similar troll posting from a while ago...Your list doesn't make much sense. If there's &quot;no crime&quot;, then why do you want a place with a &quot;working room safe&quot;? You don't seem the type to have lots of valuable jewels, since you want to spend &quot;less than $4000&quot;. Anyway, you won't ever find a place that fits all your criteria. You're too negative anyway. Give up and stay home...new rent-a-cars...sheesh! What a brat!

Ann

xxx,<BR>I'm really curious about where on earth you went where you had all those horrible problems. I'm not a seasoned or experienced Caribbean traveler either but I've never been plagued with anything close to what you're talking about. Was I just lucky? Please tell us where you went so that the rest of us can avoid it!<BR>Thanks!!

Scott

I happen to agree with Chris, to meet all the criteria on your list, you'll either have to step up in spending more $$, or travel the off-season. The islands that might fit your list might include: Turks &amp; Caicos, Anguilla, St. John, for quiet islands that aren't built up too much, and other more americanized choices might be Aruba or Grand Cayman. <BR><BR>Again, if you really are serious about meeting the goals of your list, you need to consider stepping up to the plate for extra money, or different travel dates. Otherwise, you will have to make your list smaller. Just my honest opinion.

xxx

I have about $25,000 of jewelry but I don't travel with it anyway. I need a room safe for my passport, plane tickets, and other administrative junk.

trythis

www.runawayhill.com

jam-man

xxx,<BR><BR>Look at Jamaica Inn in Ocho Rios. If you book through Air Jamaica vacations you can get a great deal on airfare linked with the resort (a resort which, by the way, meets all of your requirements).<BR>

Angela

Yep, you're the same ridiculous guy from New York that posted a few weeks ago on the very same issues, talking about your experiences in Martinique and putting down all of the islands at the same time! Pleeaasze! I could smell you from a mile away! You still the same weird obnoxious man! But I am willing to offer some reasonable suggestions inspite of your manner just because I am a nice person. I agree with the previous posters that to have an enjoyable experience for 4000.00 you should think about putting back your trip to June/July. Jan/Feb is the height of the tourist season in the islands and the prices are going to be high. In June/July you can stay at high end resorts at reduced rates - Cap Juluca in Anguilla, Four Seasons in Nevis, Peter Island/Biras Creek in the BVI, lots of nice places on St John and St Thomas, tons of places in Barbados. I have never had a bad experience with the plumbing in hotels in any of the islands I have visited or any problems with car rentals. If you are judging all of the islands on your one experience in Martinique (or whereever it is you went) then you are being a thorough moron and there is no help for you. Recently returned from a visit to St Kitts and a stay at Ottleys Plantation Inn - if you want a picture perfect setting with gorgeous first rate accomodation, great food, excellent service, you should consider Ottleys. We had a car rental - no problems. Certainly no problems with our accomodation, did'nt have a single experience with peddlers yelling at us, never felt threatened or unsafe, rather the locals were helpful and gracious to say the least. Alot of your experience in the islands is what YOU make it at the end of the day. If you are obnoxious and disrespectful, it is highly likely that you will get the same treatment meted out to you.

another X

To all those who made suggestions for this idiot:<BR>- you mean there's NO KIDS on Anguilla, Nevis, St. Kitts, Peter Island, or BVI???? Maybe those were midgets I saw?<BR>- and there're WAVES instead of flat water?<BR>- and NO CRIME? Ever? Hey Jamman, you didn't take xxx seriously, did you???<BR><BR>Angela, this guy is already obnoxious. You're too nice!

jam-man

Another X,<BR><BR>I debated the troll issue, especially with the xxx name and email address, but decided to answer anyway. My answer was given purely in the context of the question, which seemed to deal only with the identity of a resort, not an island or any area surrounding the resort.<BR>There is no crime and no peddlars and no threats at the Jamaica Inn. Outside the grounds of the JI, there may be crime (I have never been the victim of same) or peddlars (none have ever yelled at me, but they have asked to show their wares and ask if I was interested in purchasing, but no, there was never yelling), but I'm not in a position to respond to the threats issue. I've never been threatened, I've never met anyone who has been. But I know there have been posters who say they have received threats.<BR>Also, JI does not welcome children.<BR>You may say I'm splitting hairs by answering only about the area within the limits of the Jamaica Inn. I might be inclined to agree with you.

Tiffany

You may want to check out Jumby Bay in Antigua. Although children are allowed, this resort is set up on its own 300 acre private island so I'm sure you can get away from any kids if you needed to. Good food, good drinks (beachside service), no crime (it is on a private island)...don't know if it's what you're looking for but it's a thought.<BR>www.jumby-bay.com

Mary

Try www.frangipani.ai in Anguilla. Look at their packages (I think there's one called sun, sea and something) -- very reasonable &amp; the package makes it doable for $4000.

Sue W

All your criteria point to Bucuti Beach Resort in Aruba. Quiet, laid-back romantic atmosphere that caters to adults with a spectacular beach (including beach service from your lounge chaise). They have a hard working staff and management who strive to make your visit pleasant in every aspect. The pool and hot tub are basic but who cares with that to-die-for beach in front of you. Aruba has hundreds of excellent restaurants in all price ranges, you can walk the beach at night or even downtown safely, no peddlers on the beach (maybe a few here and there but definitely not overwhelming...re: timeshares but not on the beach itself, water temps in Jan high 70s, low 80s (we were there last January).<BR><BR>Bucuti website: http://www.bucuti.com/english/home/index.htm<BR><BR>For travel info, check with MCM Tours out of NJ. They deal strictly with Aruba travel and their prices can't be beat. I truly believe you can do it for $4000 even during high season.<BR>http://www.mcmtours.com/<BR><BR>As for car rental, you don't really need a car as taxi's are plentiful and they have a excellent bus system ($2 RT), but if you insist on a car for convenience, there are plenty of rental companies. We have our favorite and I'm sure others do to. But you can cross that bridge once you've decided on an island and resort.<BR><BR>Good luck!

Poptart

I think you can summerize your requests into some general categories<BR>1. Nice place where everything works, no bugs<BR><BR>2. Quiet atmosphere - no kids, hagglers, higglers, peddlers, no hassles, etc<BR><BR>3. Resonably priced<BR><BR>4. Easy to get around<BR><BR>Now, here's the bad news - remember we live on the planet Earth and this is an imperfect world. Human nature being what it is, you can have crime ANYWHERE! I was offered cocaine in Aruba walking along a beautiful beach at an upscale resort and I have had experiences of not being hassled in Jamaica - go figure!<BR><BR>I think, to guarentee the experiences you want, definitely DO NOT DO AN ALL INCLUSIVE.<BR><BR>You may have to spend more money than you expected, or go in the off season (June best bet). Of course, that is when you are more likely to see kids since school is out.<BR><BR>Very best bet - stick to islands and locations that are off the beaten path - that the typical traveler does not go to and that are not that populated. The more well know destinations will have more families, kids, etc. The more populated an island, the more likely there will be crime.<BR><BR> Some examples of great places to plan a getaway to would be the Out Islands of the Bahamas ( I doubt if there are many children at Pink Sands on Harbor Island), St. Barts, the Grenadines ( Mustique is a great island), Anguilla ( have NEVER been hassled there - low population, never experienced crime there), Sandy Lane in Barbados, the British Virgin Islands.<BR>High end resorts on these islands would probably fit the bill. <BR><BR>

tivertonhouse

Rent a villa in a non-touristic area.<BR>Unforgettable at Fort Charles and The Buccaneer on Billy's Bay, both Treasure Beach, South Coast, Jamaica fit your<BR>comfort/style criteria quite well. Fly<BR>AJ out of NY with a private car waiting for you to do the 2.5 hour drive away<BR>from the resorts into a very different Jamaica. See www.treasurebeach.net, the Where To Stay section, for accomodations;the rest of this community Web site will give you good insight into the area.