Subject: Dumb Tourist Questions <BR>Date: Sat, 28 Jul 2001 09:03:21 -0400 <BR> <BR>Dumb Questions (as asked by tourists to Banff National Park) <BR> <BR>Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information desks manned by <BR>Parks Canada staff! <BR> <BR>1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk <BR>Crossing"signs? <BR> <BR>2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose? <BR> <BR>3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" <BR>Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' " Tourist: "Oh". <BR> <BR>4. Are the bears with collars tame? <BR> <BR>5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose? <BR> <BR>6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or <BR>should I store it in my tent? <BR> <BR>7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos? <BR> <BR>8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me <BR>what it was? <BR> <BR>9. Are there birds in Canada? <BR> <BR>10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? <BR> <BR>11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin? <BR> <BR>12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper? <BR> <BR>13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that <BR>Saskatchewan? <BR> <BR>14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario? <BR> <BR>15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields? <BR> <BR>16. How far is Banff from Canada? <BR> <BR>17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day? <BR> <BR>18. Do they search you at the B.C. border? <BR> <BR>19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British <BR>pounds? <BR> <BR>20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't <BR>they? <BR> <BR>21. Are there phones in Banff? <BR> <BR>22. So it's eight kilometers away... is that in miles? <BR> <BR>23. We're on the decibel system you know. <BR> <BR>24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost?? <BR> <BR>25. Is that two kilometers by foot or by car? <BR> <BR>26. Don't you Canadians know anything? <BR> <BR>27. Where do you put the animals at night? <BR> <BR>28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" <BR>Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the <BR>bottom". <BR>Tourist: "Oh!" <BR> <BR>...... <BR>"Some world views are spacious <BR>And some are merely spaced." <BR>

Those comments above are good ones. <BR>I have no trouble believing that they really happened. <BR> <BR>My favorite "tenderfoot" story concerns a woman who was hiking to a back country chalet in Yoho. The chalet supplies all that you need in the way of food and sleeping accommodations. Yet, she had heard that the chalet was in a wilderness area. The most direct route to the chalet from the Takkakaw Falls parking area is about 8 K. <BR>Despite everything, she was prepared!! <BR>I think her pack weighed 40 pounds. <BR>(I know because she had so much trouble going up the hill on the final leg of the journey that I carried it for her.) <BR>She had enough clothes stuffed in it to last a month. She had food and other supplies. But the crowing glory of her possessions was a large cast iron fry pan. <BR>

While on a trip to London my friend and I decided to ask each guide what was the dumbest question they had ever been asked. <BR> <BR>They had some pretty funny stuff but the one that we loved most was <BR> <BR>"What relation is the Queen Mother to the Queen". <BR> <BR>Just one more - While on tour of Buckingham Palace you can see a small lake in the gardens of the Palace. One tourist asked the guard "if it was the English Channel". <BR> <BR>

True story: A friend of mine told guests his home was built in the 1830's. They asked if he was the original owner!

I am from Canada, and I once had a tourist stop me on the street- this was in summer time. Said she was disappointed because she did not see a polar bear walking around. I mentioned to her that if she really wanted to see a polar bear to go to our local zoo.

These U.S. tourist are everywhere, aren't they?

I don't think anyone was targeting American tourists - just tourists in general.

Or shall I say, misinformed tourists.

Well, one that could cause someone's blood to get a little overheated is this question asked in the visitor center in Quebec City: How do I get back to Canada? <BR>Not all dumb questions are funny. <BR> <BR>

Bob Brown, You are an insightful, sane and welcome addition to any (Fodor) forum.I've wanted to thank you before but your Quebec remark was the one that really promped this...