Where are the rudest/most polite people in the world?
Jan 29th, 2004, 07:18 AM
#21
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I do not wish to label anyone but will share this observation/experience....
In spending some time at a social gathering in Southern California I found the people to be extremely happy, outgoing and anxious to be my friend. In a first meeting I met (and hugged)more people needing to tell me about their addictions, ongoing recoveries, sexual orientation, jobs, Hollywood stories, lovers, you name it.
Being (male) from the Midwest, I found this kind of refreshing and kind of disturbing. I shared my thoughts with another party goer from NYC and he said.."Thats just So. Cal."
Like I said, no judgements, just my experience.
In spending some time at a social gathering in Southern California I found the people to be extremely happy, outgoing and anxious to be my friend. In a first meeting I met (and hugged)more people needing to tell me about their addictions, ongoing recoveries, sexual orientation, jobs, Hollywood stories, lovers, you name it.
Being (male) from the Midwest, I found this kind of refreshing and kind of disturbing. I shared my thoughts with another party goer from NYC and he said.."Thats just So. Cal."
Like I said, no judgements, just my experience.
Jan 29th, 2004, 07:23 AM
#22
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I agree that politeness and friendliness are not the same thing at all. And there are regional and national differences both in what is considered polite and what is considered appropriate friendliness.
I agree with Anonymous that if we just met we're not best friends - and I don't care to know all the details of your life. That doesn't make me rude - or even unfriendly - I'm always perfectly polite, but there's nothing wrong with a little reserve. (No, the entire world is not my best friend. I have a best friend and a lot of other friends/acquaintances - but reserve the right to pick and chose my friends without being thought of as unfriendly or impolite/rude.)
And any tourist has a right to expect politeness - but not to expect friendliness from every one they meet. If your main goal in travel is to make new friends you may want to pick what you perceive as the "friendliest" places. But for a lot of people travel has other objectives and as long as people aren't rude they're satisfied.
I think we as travelers need to try to understand the regional/national differences in attitudes/behaviors and accept them/go with the flow. One example, last summer we traveled for a long weekend to a rural area and had breakfast at a local diner. When we went to pay we were held up by the family in front - who instead of paying and moving on were chatting with the cashier about some local event. Naturally I thought to myself how rude these people are - can't they see we're waiting to pay. And then I had the epiphany that in that context wasting someone's time like that is not considered rude (as it would be in New York) but is a normal part of life. So - to each his own - try to understand different habits and don't see rudeness in everything that is different.
I agree with Anonymous that if we just met we're not best friends - and I don't care to know all the details of your life. That doesn't make me rude - or even unfriendly - I'm always perfectly polite, but there's nothing wrong with a little reserve. (No, the entire world is not my best friend. I have a best friend and a lot of other friends/acquaintances - but reserve the right to pick and chose my friends without being thought of as unfriendly or impolite/rude.)
And any tourist has a right to expect politeness - but not to expect friendliness from every one they meet. If your main goal in travel is to make new friends you may want to pick what you perceive as the "friendliest" places. But for a lot of people travel has other objectives and as long as people aren't rude they're satisfied.
I think we as travelers need to try to understand the regional/national differences in attitudes/behaviors and accept them/go with the flow. One example, last summer we traveled for a long weekend to a rural area and had breakfast at a local diner. When we went to pay we were held up by the family in front - who instead of paying and moving on were chatting with the cashier about some local event. Naturally I thought to myself how rude these people are - can't they see we're waiting to pay. And then I had the epiphany that in that context wasting someone's time like that is not considered rude (as it would be in New York) but is a normal part of life. So - to each his own - try to understand different habits and don't see rudeness in everything that is different.
Jan 29th, 2004, 07:30 AM
#23
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Anonymous at least raises the obvious question about what is rude and what is polite, and rightly points out that manners are by definition a cultural thing. "Friendly" does not equate with "polite" in many places, where reserve is the sign of good breeding. Maintaining eye-contact is the sign of courtesy in some places, confrontational aggression in others.
As is clear from this discussion, we don't even agree in the US about what is polite behavior, so asking where people in the WORLD are most polite or rudest is almost unanswerable.
RJames, if you are asking where people keep to themselves and don't talk to strangers, don't smile a lot, don't share private information, that's one thing. And similarly, if you are asking where people grin a lot, talk to anyone about anything, that's another.
If I were you, I'd probably ask where in the world the local residents are most welcoming to strangers because that's pretty much what you are concerned with, I suspect. But even then, there are big differences just between rural vs. city folk.
Finally, I'd say I get treated with the most politeness when I have figured out what local standards of manners are and try to behave that way. Rudeness comes in when I expect people to behave the way people at home do -- or on city subways everywhere!!!
As is clear from this discussion, we don't even agree in the US about what is polite behavior, so asking where people in the WORLD are most polite or rudest is almost unanswerable.
RJames, if you are asking where people keep to themselves and don't talk to strangers, don't smile a lot, don't share private information, that's one thing. And similarly, if you are asking where people grin a lot, talk to anyone about anything, that's another.
If I were you, I'd probably ask where in the world the local residents are most welcoming to strangers because that's pretty much what you are concerned with, I suspect. But even then, there are big differences just between rural vs. city folk.
Finally, I'd say I get treated with the most politeness when I have figured out what local standards of manners are and try to behave that way. Rudeness comes in when I expect people to behave the way people at home do -- or on city subways everywhere!!!
Jan 29th, 2004, 07:34 AM
#24
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"Nytraveler" that's a really key point that well-meaning contributors on the Europe board try to drive home to newbies. It is natural for people to assume that others are pretty much like ourselves. And when untravelled American go overseas thay often (unconsciously) expect people living in foreign cultures to alter their customs to suit the needs of the traveller.
Well, in most countries without Anglo roots it just doesn't work that way.
The issues are major in many of the Asian nations.
Best advice is to always remember that if you're not home, you're essentially a guest in someone else's domain. Showing respect for the customs of the host is always appropriate and usually appreciated.
Well, in most countries without Anglo roots it just doesn't work that way.
The issues are major in many of the Asian nations.
Best advice is to always remember that if you're not home, you're essentially a guest in someone else's domain. Showing respect for the customs of the host is always appropriate and usually appreciated.
Jan 29th, 2004, 08:10 AM
#25
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Travelis?
What is a country with OR without "ANGLO ROOTS?"
What is an UNTRAVELLED AMERICAN doing going overseas...unconscious???
"The issues are major in many Asian nations" ??????
Are you possibly...RUDE????!!!!!! or worse?
Oaktown Traveler
What is a country with OR without "ANGLO ROOTS?"
What is an UNTRAVELLED AMERICAN doing going overseas...unconscious???
"The issues are major in many Asian nations" ??????
Are you possibly...RUDE????!!!!!! or worse?
Oaktown Traveler
Jan 29th, 2004, 09:52 AM
#29
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Oaktown traveler
Can you clarify your statements/ questions? "What is an UNTRAVELLED AMERICAN doing going overseas...unconscious???" Whatever does this mean? Are you equating someone's state of consciousness with the extent of their travel experience? Pointing out that people in a coma don't get around much?
Travleis' meaning seems perfectly clear throughout - and not at all offensive. But I have no idea what you're talking about.
Can you clarify your statements/ questions? "What is an UNTRAVELLED AMERICAN doing going overseas...unconscious???" Whatever does this mean? Are you equating someone's state of consciousness with the extent of their travel experience? Pointing out that people in a coma don't get around much?
Travleis' meaning seems perfectly clear throughout - and not at all offensive. But I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jan 29th, 2004, 10:25 PM
#31
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Gee, I seem to recall someone with the name Oaktown Traveler (before registration went into effect) who had a nasty habit of attracting everyone's derision and abuse. Then she seemed to disappear for a long time.
Very ironic that you now call people here pompous and accuse them of offering up so much inane drivel when you yourself posted the following comment previously:
"...I do feel as if I have to really have something of significance to say about the travel question before I reply...The boards(Q&A's) are "intellectually elevated". So, I simply sit, think and "listen" now. Most times I am "relaxing" from working, travelling, or taking a break from my travel planning when I "board" so, to put some work into a travel question is not what I want to do when I come here most of the time".
Perhaps you share your screen name with someone else?
Very ironic that you now call people here pompous and accuse them of offering up so much inane drivel when you yourself posted the following comment previously:
"...I do feel as if I have to really have something of significance to say about the travel question before I reply...The boards(Q&A's) are "intellectually elevated". So, I simply sit, think and "listen" now. Most times I am "relaxing" from working, travelling, or taking a break from my travel planning when I "board" so, to put some work into a travel question is not what I want to do when I come here most of the time".
Perhaps you share your screen name with someone else?
Jan 29th, 2004, 10:39 PM
#32
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I have found that it is best not to egg on these nuts who post junk replies and who are trying to raise your back (and it is working well on this thread). You won't change their minds, you just fuel the flame and keep them going. Just don't address them and watch them die on the vine.
What is there that is constructive about this type of posting on who is rudest or trashiest or dumbest? Nothing that I can see. I prefer to let it go by and watch it die.
It would have been nice if original post would have stuck to the positive and most polite. The thread could have turned out differnet, don't you think?
What is there that is constructive about this type of posting on who is rudest or trashiest or dumbest? Nothing that I can see. I prefer to let it go by and watch it die.
It would have been nice if original post would have stuck to the positive and most polite. The thread could have turned out differnet, don't you think?
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