Will my rectal thermometer be allowed in first class?

*I have two glass eyes that I remove while resting. If one or more get lost, can I bring martini olives on board as medical supplies?

*My husband will be traveling with a large package. Will he need to unwrap it at security?

well...errr...might be best to leave his package securely wrapped if'n he desires to join the mile-high club.

The thermometer may give you a case of fist class shivers!

Oh silly bear900~ if a postal went rectal, he's be a pectal. If a pickle cost a nickel, would a Vlasic be a tickle? And my throat is getting sore now, so I must be getting sickle.
I must leave and do my errands, lest you Fodies think me fickle.....

If a pectal makes you rectal and a tickle makes you pickle....
I better leave this one alone.

Do you by chance bat for the SF Southpaws?

Which exit should I take off the Seven Mile Bridge to get to Marathon?

Where can I buy the sweetest bubble gum?

Can I hunt for a critter in your backyard?

Why do the threads from all the good clothes on Fodors always come unraveled?

Do you have a preference for Bambi or Pepe?

How can BG and jetset be so funny all the time - even late at night?!

This is delirium, hon, not humor! LMAO

Are you more of a Ginger, Maryann, Gilligan or Professor, the Skipper, Mr. Howell or Mrs., and WHY?

Is the bikini line astride an atoll?

I'm traveling to Egypt. If it's midnight on the oasis, must I send my camel to bed?

You people are hysterical!

Should I pack my vibrators in my carry on or my checked baggage?

Starrsville, You start the best posts!
This one has been going on forever.
Way to Go!

I recently realised that I have enough miles to go on the next shuttle trip to the Moon!
Anybody have any suggestions as to what I should wear? I'll be going in the summer. Is it chilly at that time of the year?

Should my vibrator have batteries in it when I check it or carry it on?

(Seriously, a TSA agent seemed to do everything possible to embarrass a friend who had a Sonicare toothbrush in her carryon. She had to turn it on. He was waving it around. Finally, in frustration, she yelled out "It's a TOOTHBRUSH!".

So, I guess the best answer to Sandra's question would be - checked!

During my last trip, my sock monkey puppet was confiscated by an uncaring T.S.A. agent.

Although it was later returned to me, it had obviously been mistreated, since one of his eyelashes was missing and his beige head was stained.

Do I have any legal recourse?

Do you suppose that was the same sort of stain that was on Monica Lewinsky's dress?