irecommend -

If you said no and meant it - and said you would call the police if he didn;t leave - he would have left.

I know there are a lot of people who are raised to be polite who somehow think that they are required to be polite and nice to everyone - even someone who is annoying them. And who may be afraid to cause a scene to get what they have a right to (being left alone).

This is NOT TRUE. There is no requirement to be polite, civil or anything at all to strange people who are bothering you. If you can;t make them leave with a firm "go away", you need to feel free to call the police, shout for help, cause a giant scene, or to do anything else necessary to get rid of the person.

The fact that you couldn;t get rid of him means you did none of these things.

And yes - that requires asertiveness training (which will teach you how to exercise your rights rather than worrying about what other people will think, or that you're not being nice or that something bad will happen if you do what YOU want - regardless of others.)

nytraveler, I agree with you a 100% but my experience has been not everyone is "street smart". I grew up in the SF/Bay Area and even as a little girl I was taught how to be assertive and how to say NO and how to not make eye contact with shall we say undesirable people. And I taught my daughter the same thing, and her children also were taught the same.

But I have known people that have always lived in small towns where being "polite" was the expected way to act, be it a friend, acquaintance or stranger. In fact the people like that in my life will not go to SF unless I go with them because they do not know how to handle the problem of the homeless and other people that "scare them" etc.

I certainly don't pretend to be an expert but it seems to me that people relate to problems with problem people predicated on how they were raised generally speaking. I am thankful that I was trained when I was quite a little girl on how to deal with these situations. And hopefully threads like this will help those that weren't.

i guess that is true. I am a polite Canadian gal and I dont consider myself un assertive in my daily life-quite the opposite to be truthful and my hubbie too. But in the situation we were caught off guard by our feeling sick and the whole situation was foriegn to us. I just think NY traveller is being a little harsh in condeming me as Im probably pretty average as to the folk who are out there travelling.

Hi irecommend, I can sure understand. And none of us are at our best when we are feeling ill, especially when in foreign territory. Just chalk the experience up to a learning lesson that will help you the next time you travel. None of us do everything "perfect" when we travel.

Irecommend, I felt that I was a little stern with you,too, so I thought about my motivation in my response. And in so doing, I noticed that I tend to treat some Fodorites as though I were their dad. I want to fix things, teach them, and help them however I can. You know, prevent them from making any of the mistakes or experiencing any of the problems I have.

Try not to judge us too harshly. Further up in the posts we can all tell how stressed out BayouGal is over all these storms. And NYTraveler is probably quite street smart and thinks he/she is helping to toughen you up for your own good.

CPA Tip #4569--
I attended a fraud/identity theft seminar a few months ago and the instructor had a good tip:

Most people carry a debit card and have a PIN number. Sometimes you have a PIN number for your credit card also. The tip is to write a 4 digit PIN number on the back of your debit/credit card that is NOT your Real PIN number. If someone gets a hold of your card and tries to get cash using the PIN, or tries to charge something using the PIN, they'll punch in that number, probably more than once because of course it won't work for them, and after a few invalid attempts the machine will automatically eat your card. The instructor also suggested writing the false PIN number in bad handwriting so its hard to make out the numbers, making the thief question whether they put the right number in so they'll try again.

Great tip hunterblu.
And thanks Speedbuggy for the explanation "Pops". I know you all envisioned me walking down the street like a Pllyanna but that was not the case. We have bben to the Carribean before and know the locals have a fairly "reserved" air. But Montego Bay was something else. We were not comfortable with the feeling we got from the people at all-it was like you walked into the worst neighborhood you could imagine and all your friends ran away. There were no police to call and the guy who attached himself to us actually had a smile on his face and looked safer than anyone else we could see sooooo.. I dont believe that we really had any other choice. We lost some cash but we got out of there safely in as short a time as possible.

P_M- smart Grandma. The hotel business card trick is one I adopted early on. This also means you can catch a taxi back if you get lost.

Neopolitan- Wow what a night. So sorry to hear about your situation and your partner's current health.

irecommend- While usually I would respond "get some gumption" I have was in Montego Bay in the 70's on our own downtown to catch a local chicken bus out to Negril, and that probably is the closest to a "scary" experience traveling I have ever had. so I'll give you the sympathy vote on that one!

Jamaicans can be a persistant people putting it politely.

"P_M- smart Grandma"

Good observation suze, she most certainly was.

Another note about business cards--even if you are not lost, sometimes handing a cabbie a business card is a more effective way to communicate the name and location of your hotel when you are in a non-English speaking country. It was a life-saver when we were in Tokyo.

That fake pin number thing is the best tip I've heard in quite a while!

That makes me miss my Nan (italian side grandmama)... she was a big traveler even though she lived a simple life. Her advice "Always have a suitcase packed under the bed" and something with the point of: might as well die traveling and visiting family as staying home!

By the way, in my dramatic adventure in Las Vegas I learned another thing. At one point when we were almost assuming that Lee had been mugged or robbed, I called Citibank to see if his credit card had been used. I thought that was a very clever idea. But I made the mistake of saying who I was and in my moment of total confusion couldn't come up with his social security number to pass their "security" so they refused to tell me anything about the account. What's more they would not cancel the card even when I told them the circumstances and that Lee was officially a "missing endangered person" since I wasn't him. I actually have a power of attorney for Lee, and should carry it with me to fax for just such cases. I relayed my story to the police who called Citibank and they were able to find out that no attempt had been made to use the card -- which helped ease my mind just a bit.

And while we're on the subject -- bordering on the very grim at this point -- what if serious injury or accident happened on your travels? Would you have quick access to important medical records, permission to handle things, or even (god forbid) handle death arrangements?

I can sympathize with your Jamaican experience. I grew up in Kingston and about 10 years ago my parents and myself went back. I think you are right to be relieved that you returned with only a few $ missing. We were advised to only go on "independent" trips with a driver from tourist approved agencies. Our worst experience was taking a "rogue" taxi back from Hope Gardens. The driver was clearly on something and had that wild eye. We did make it back alright and I think he only ripped us off an extra $20 or so.

Neopolitan, I had a similar , but shorter, experience with my first husband who was very ill with cancer that had spread to his brain.It had begun to affect his thinking. I took him for one of his chemo treatments at the hospital in New Orleans. He was not strong enough to walk far, so I let him out to sit on a bench by the hospital door and told him to wait for me while I went to park the car. After I finally found a parking place for the car, I hurried to meet him at the bench, but he wasn't there, so I rushed up to the ninth floor of the hospital where his appointment was, thinking he might have gone ahead of me. He wasn't there either so I alerted the appointment desk and in a panic went downstairs again, asking people if they had seen him. I still couldn't find him, but one of the doormen found him and went upstairs with him. What a relief!

Now the hospital has people who will park your car for you, if necessary, which would prevent that kind of problem.

Yes migb. unfortunately the cruise company really didnt describe the stop too well (It was supposed to be Ochos Rios but was changed at the last minute)
Neo-that sounds like such a situation to be in. Do you think all hospitals will allow that or just where you are. At least if they could meet you at the enterance that could alleviate a bit of the worry.