>>.

I think gelatolover's suggestions are extraordinarily high in some cases (30% for taxis? Even in NY, 20-25% would be more than plenty. In San Francisco (not NY), tipping 18-20% in restaurants is the norm, 25-30% you'd be considered an extremely generous tipper, and maybe a little crazy ).

I don't know anyone who routinely tips 30% in restaurants - unless they are trying to show off to a date. 20% is fine for good service. If you have something that requires extra work (have something flambeed at the table to whatever) then you will probably want to add more.

The only exception is if you go into a coffee shop with sit down service and order something very inexpensive - then I would leave a minimum of $2 per person - even if your check is only $4 or $5 per person - since most people would be ordering more and giving 20% would be cutting down on their expected tips. (In NYC many such shops have a $10 minimum at lunch hour no matter what you order - both to cover the owners costs and the tips for the staff.)

sf: note the caveat at the start of my earlier post. Our normal taxi rates are $10-$20 per ride, usually short hops in a city (or $40-$50 from an airport to a hotel), and we personally don't think 30% is too big - especially so if we get help with luggage, etc. We have had too many conversations with friendly cabbies, and we know they don't have an easy life. 12 hour shifts would be the norm, many of them work longer hours because they need to.

We have friends whose kids have worked as waiters/waitresses and their stories have impressed upon us the need to tip generously unless you were not satisfied with the service you received. And we never penalize the server if the kitchen/chef was at fault.....

We figure out the tip for restaurants as a base of 20% and we decide if we want to add a bit more..... normally up to 25%. Like I said, if the bill was really cheap (say $10-$20 for the two of us), I don't find it a pain to give 30%.

And, nytraveler, a person who tips generously just to impress a date is, in my opinion, a jackass.

I also don't think there's any need for person to show his date (or anyone else) the amount on the bill and the amount of the tip. Tipping should be done discretely......

But I agree with you about the extra service (such as the intricate Bananas Foster that was prepared tableside for us at Brennan's in New Orleans three weeks ago) - this deserves a bigger tip.

20% is fine outside of NYC in most restaurants; 25% is better.

I leave $5.00 a night in a hotel room.

I'm not at all defensive, htty. I am too direct to ever feel or 'be' defensive. Cheers!

Here is tipping advice from the real Emily Post: http://www.emilypost.com/out-and-abo...ing-guidelines

HTTY

Redundant.

IMHO the published Emily Post is out of date. But more than 20% is very generous and not really expected unless some special service was provided.

What I've noticed is that some cabbies avoid stopping for foreign visitors - since a lot don;t get the whole tipping thing and either stiff them completely or just leave small change - which is likely to elicit a rude comment from the cabbie (understandably).

Again: 20% is an appropriate tip for waiters in NYC; 25% is not unusual at all.