dmlove - that would be a COOL trip.

shoefly - "a premature honeymoon suite"? "to drink and to have sex"?

are you speaking from personal experience? you can't (OK, maybe YOU can) lump all teenagers into these two categories!

Obviously dflawless is a worried mom, why do people feel compelled to make such sarcastic/mean replies?

Dflawless - I too have daughters, 17 and 20. I wouldn't let mine go either. Not because I don't trust them- but because of all the fruits out there. Yes, mine is also going to college in Sept., but there are certain colleges I refused to pay for too.

I'm not saying at all they shouldn't go alone, just somewhere a little less "taa daaaa!"

Sounds like you have some leverage in the fact that you're paying for the hotel. This is one case "He who has the money wins." I would do what I had to do.

And before anyone rips me a new one about the last comment - I don't care. As a mom I'm not trying to win popularity contests - just to shield them from some of the nutcases out there while I still have the opportunity. College is coming and these chances will most likely be over.

Then a whole new set of games will begin.

morgiesmom - no ripping from me.

I have 5 daughters, one that is your daughters age, the others are 20,22,24 and 33. I see no good reason to allow her to go and several reasons to say no. If something happened, I bet you would be saying to yourself - " I should have followed my instinct and said no." There are better ways for her to celebrate her graduation. Hoping that one of my daughters is "fairly safe" just wouldn't cut it for me.

dflawless - I empathize with your situation, as I have a dtr about the same age, also off to college in the fall. I am sure that no one here raised concerns you have not thought of yourself. And you probably remember scary things you did at that age, as I do.

Kids that age do have a way of "announcing" their plans. And the blue-haried lady next door in an upscale hotel probably does not exist during Beach Week.

At times like this, bribery is often the only way to win. A different location at a different time often is more attractive when parents are footing at least part of the bill. (My dtr is going to a ski condo this weekend with a bunch of friends and agreed to a helmet and lessons since I would pay for that. She also agreed to certain other restrictions if I paid).

You can also enlist support of the other parents if you know them well enough. When our son at age 16 wanted to go to a Metallica concert in NYC and sleep in their cars, having already bought tickets, I enlisted the support of 2 other parents and we agreed to pay for a hotel and have my husband sleep in the same hotel on way from business trip if we paid for hotel room.

And while SOBE is "upscale" it is affluent in a different way than say Palm Beach - the money is spent on clothes, drugs, partying.

Maybe this plan will go the way of a dozen others my kids have had and never materialize, morphing into something else after they give it more thought, check out the cost, etc.

Good luck. I remember having babies that cried all night and thought there was never going to anything tougher than that.

A million years ago, we went for spring break to Ft lauderdale Fl. I was 18, 19 years old at the time. The drinking age was 18 so it was wild.
Yes, many girls would get hosed down happily in order to win a free shot glass. I could never understand that. I think it all depends on the kid. I was surrounded by absolute mayham and I didn't take off my top, have sex or go totally wild. I did drink and have fun though.
South Beach is a party town. I was there this summer and the kids in front of us were smoking pot and my teens said what is that smell and I said pot. Now that you know what it smells like, stay away from kids that smell like that. LOL.
Anyway, I don't envy your decision. The world is very different that when I went...a little over 20 years ago.
I do see the pics of Natalle Holloway every now and then and think that could have been any one of us as teenagers. Not that I would have gotten in a car with three guys alone, but if I had my drink spiked, who knows.
Good luck. I am a few years behind with daughters as well.

dflawless,

I think it's commendable that you trust your daughter enough to consider letting her go. Nobody on this board knows her better than you do, so if you're comfortable with the idea, don't let others' opinions affect you. Whatever you assume your kids are doing (or not doing), you're probably right. You know, mother's intuition and all

For starters, I think you can take it as a positive sign that your daughter and her friends chose a U.S. destination. Kids aren't dumb -- they know they can get plastered in the Caribbean without a fake ID. If they're choosing to go somewhere with a strict over-21 drinking age, they may not be planning on a lot of drinking.

It's always sensationalist to invoke Natalie Holloway, but under that reasoning you shouldn't let her go to high school, the mall, the movie theater, college -- all places where people have been kidnapped, drugged, or murdered.

Entrance to clubs in SoBe is tight even if you do have a valid ID. There are enough pretty people over the age of 21 to fill a club. Most owners will have no desire to risk their liquor license for some 19-year-old.

Last time I was there, it was for a long weekend. Grand total: Two margaritas. There was just too much tanning and shopping to be done.

Is there someplace else they could go besides South Beach? Not sure where you live but there has to be other beach destinations that are not so wild. I have two daughters (24 and 20) and I doubt that I would have let them go someplace like South Beach when they were 18. I live in So. Calif and if they had wanted to go to Rosarita Beach in Baja Mexico I would have said absolutely NO. I know that's a little bit of a different situation being in Mexico but the same type of atmosphere. If they wanted to do a long weekend in Santa Barbara or maybe up to San Francisco, then I would have been OK with that.

Concerning fake ID's. My youngest daughter has one although I just found out about it recently. She is almost ready to turn 21 so maybe that's why she let it slip. Obviously I don't approve but she is away at college and pays lots of her expenses so what could I say. Anyway, she told me that bouncers at clubs can spot a fake ID a mile away and some of her friends had theirs taken away. So about the only place she used hers was at small neighborhood hangouts. So I don't think your daughter and friends would get into the clubs but there is still plenty about South Beach that I wouldn't like.

I think many adults here think things have changed tremendously - and either they're looking at the past through rose-colored glasses - or they have bad memories.

I was in college 30 years ago. And everyone drank, tried drugs and had sex. There were well-known drug dealers on campus that could provide anything you wanted. Fake IDs were rampant. Co-eds would often go off with a boyfriend for a long weekend or a week or even more - and while her friends would know - her parents - and certainly the school wouldn't.

More than once we had to rescue friends who were left places by guys they had gone off with after having drunk or smoked too much. (ANd while some were ditzes, some were A students just out to have a little fun.)

This is all part of growing up. And, if you're sensible you stay away from it most of the time and go to class and graduate - and have learned a lot of life lessons.

I can't think of anything they could do/see in South Beach any different from almost any place kids go on vacations. In fact, I think it's one of the more sensible choices (esp versus some of those towns in Mexico).

Either they're sensible or they're not. (Sadly, many aren't - but 18 is awfully late to be sorting that out.)

True 'nuff NYtraveler -- LOL -- but the difference is that when I was young (don't know about you) our parents would never in a million years have PAID for us to go on vacation with our friends. Yeah, we did some bad stuff, but they weren't about to support those decisions!

I guess I'll just never get over the fact that parents pay for this stuff. Like, "Oh, OK, sure. You can go party yourself into a drunken coma for a week or two instead of working and here's my Visa."


When my eldest graduated we shelled out the $$$ for all four of us to go to Europe. We knew it was pretty much the last of the family vacations. Not one us would have traded that trip for the world - my kids included. They worked the rest of the summer, suckers that they are.

This thread is funny to me b/c my parents paid for senior year high school trip to Cancun. I went with 8 of my close girl friends. For the life of me, I don't know how they agreed to do this. I also don't know how we came back alive.

If they are attractive and friendly girls, they will attract the attention of older men. They will be offered alcohol. Only you know your daughter and can assess how she will behave under these circumstances.

I think as many have said, in that trouble can be found anywhere. 90% of getting in a bad situation, has to do with decision making. If the girls are responsible and cautious, thinks things should go well.

That being said, South Beach is not what it was 5-8 yrs ago The scene has changed for pop glam to a more seedier venue. You may want to read this article for a more updated look "SOBE".

http://floridabeachblog.com/content/category/15/38/82/

The scene has changed for pop glam to a more seedier venue.

Not one thing in that article said that South Beach had gotten "seedier". it said it has lost some glamour, but "seedy"? That's a stretch.

Thirty three responses to this one post in order to debate opinions on whether to allow 18 year olds to go to South Beach after graduation.

On 1/27 I asked for some travel advice on planning a trip to Hutchinson Island or suggestions on choosing a different beach in Florida, and I didn't get one response.

Interesting.

dflawless, you already know the answers. This is your daughter, you know her better than anyone. Do what is in your heart, do what you know is best as her parent.

SR, its probably just that this an issue that many people have faced and can bring up a lot of emotion. I know I didn't see your post yesterday and many others may not have, it being the weekend.

Just curious nytraveller, why were fake ID's rampant on college campuses 30 years ago when the drinking age was 18? For what it's worth, I have a daughter graduating from high school this year and there is no way that she'd be going to South Beach on my dime. She'll get her first taste of "independence" on a college campus among her peers, not in a place such as South Beach.

KathyK: B/c kids always drink b/f the legal age. If the legal age were 15, you'd have 13 year olds w/ fake ids. That's just the way it is. So, when the legal age was 18, there were 16 & 17 year olds w/ fake ids.

Thirty years ago the drinking age was a patchwork - not 18 everywhere. I lived in northern NJ where drinking age was 21 (in 1970s) but we all had fake IDs to go to NY to drink where the age was 18.

And then I was off to college in RI and the drinking age there was 21 - so college students did in fact need fake IDs 30 years ago.

I also grew up in northern NJ in the late 70's early 80's, the drinking age was changing from 18 to 21. I missed the change every year. I was always legal in NY and like gail, we traveled back and forth. I had a fake id too. Which was easier when we all had paper licenses and no picture ids.
I also paid for my own trip down to Florida for spring break at 18 or 19 or whatever I was. I had a job.

It is a tough call on what to expect for your daughter no matter how well you know her. I would think if she is a small town girl that may be an issue as well. Being naive is more dangerous than anything else. I often think of my own daughters striking out on their own someday and how they live such a sheltered life.
Good luck on your decision.

Hi, just my 2 cents, but South Beach is not the place for teens to be... definitely a more risky venture without parents around. It is not all what you see on TV about glitz and glamour. Yes, it has that, but also A LOT of seedy places and individuals too. As for a comment that someone else posted that SB is a topless beach, well NO, only one small portion of it is, not the entire beach. However, the tiniest swimwear is still worn by those who should and should not wear it! LOL...

A teen can get whatever they want if they are resourceful... If they are still going to come, I would opt for the Ritz (at the end of Lincoln road) or the Loews. High End would be the Setai, the Delano or the Shore Club.