We are looking for a laid back beach vacation with nice beaches and good food. Which place would you recommend for a family with a 3 year old?

If all you want to do is spend time on the beach and not travel in the car much except to go to a nearby restaurant, then Sanibel is probably best. Sanibel has lots of restaurants, mostly small, family-owned places. If you'd rather have access to other activities or need something to do on a rainy day, then you are better off in Naples with it's wider variety of activities. Sanibel is very laid back, the shelling is much better on the beach there but it's also kind of isolated, with a $6 toll to get on and off the island. (I may be wrong on the amount, but it's more than a buck or two. When are you thinking of coming?

Thanks for the advise! We are going to be traveling in the end of April beginning of May. Do you have any knowledge of how often red tide occurs. It is the one thing that makes me nervous about traveling to this region of FL. Is Naples very built up and commercialized? Or is it charming?

Haven't been to Naples, but Sanibel has GREAT food, including several restaurants aimed at kids (although NO chain restaurants). Sanibel is too quiet for some people, my understanding is that Naples is much busier.

Sanibel is known for beautiful beaches and shelling. Red tide seems to be hit or miss (and may affect Naples too?).

That question about Naples is hard to answer. It has some of the most controlled zoning in Florida. No buildings in the downtown corridor can be over four stories tall, signage is strictly controlled (no neon and no big signs), even colors of buildings must be approved. Within the city limits, other than one small stretch at the north end, the entire beach is private residences only -- no hotels, condos, or commercial, and all streets provide public access to the beach.

However, some will say it's not the tiny laid-back community it was 20 years ago. Take that how you will. Personally, having lived here for over 30 years, I like the "new Naples" with lots of upscale restaurants and vastly increased quality cultural events much more than the old Naples. One person's "charming" though is another person's "too modernized".

I honestly think that what you describe in your first post though is more Sanibel than Naples.

One thing I failed to mention however, is traffic, which is not "charming" in either place. If you stay on the beach in season in Sanibel you're fine, but driving to a restaurant even on the island may be mean standing traffic to get there. The same is true of Naples.

So while Sanibel is indeed more small and laid back, that single road through the length of the island can seem like a parking lot in season. Beginning of May, however, it should start to clear in either place.

I think Naples is still pretty "charming", especially if you are comparing it to other beach towns like Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, West Palm etc. NeoPatrick is right, it's much better now for the quality and variety of restaurants and shopping than it used to be.

Red Tide is impossible to predict. That time of year also is "love-bug" mating season, which can be very annoying if you are sitting by a pool and these black bugs float by....they are harmless, but can be a pain....

Our rainy season starts sometime in May, usually later in the month, but you can run into afternoon showers early in the month as well. They usually don't last too long, kinda build up, do their thing, and then clear out. The benefit is that everything cools down after.

Do you know what kind of lodging you are looking for? On Sanibel there are lots of condo's to rent that would be great for you and your 3yr old.

I've been to both, and I would vote for Sanibel with a 3-year old. Naples is more ritzy and not as much fun for children. Sanibel is has great shelling and biking--we really enjoyed it.

Another vote for Sanibel. Take your child's bike helmet & enjoy!

Sanibel, and rent a condo with a kitchen. That way you can prepare meals for your three year old, or yourself if you don't want to go to dinner. Also, the dinner crowd dines later than most people do with a three year old. You can beat the rush (as it is) if you go early.

Two grocery stores are on the island.

We took our kids and had a great time.