snowrooster

What do you think? My kids are 2 & 3 and used to eating out and usually behave pretty well (however they are young and somewhat unpredictable ). We get babysitters at home if we want to go any place that wouldn't be considered "family friendly" but will be going on vacation soon and won't have the babysitter option. We'll be in Hilton Head which is a pretty family focussed destination, but I'm wondering about where it is and isn't appropriate to take young children. How can you tell before you get to a restaurant? I've found if you call they almost always say it's okay but then sometimes you get there and find out it really isn't (no high chairs, quiet atmosphere). I know some restaurants are obviously family friendly, but we like to try different types of food (and expose our kids to them as well) and don't always want to go to places that seem to cater to children.

Any thoughts on this one?

marilynl

Well, instead of asking if it's OK to bring kids, you could ask whether they have high chairs, a kids menu, etc., and about the general noise level. I don't object to kids in restaurants except the fanciest ones, where just the very presence of children, even if well-behaved, can seem an intrusion. Mostly, though, there is enough "background noise" in restaurants that people ought to be able to tolerate the presence of children. But from my days of chasing my own when I was misled about the availability of high chairs, I just wouldn't try to eat somewhere that doesn't have high chairs--not just booster chairs, but a real high chair!

snowrooster

That makes sense, but unfortunately sometimes it doesn't work. Last time we took the kids to Hilton Head we called a restaurant and asked if they had high chairs and if it was okay for kids. They said yes, come on in. We did, only to find their one high chair was already in use (by a child way too big for a high chair in my opinion ) and it was a very quiet restaurant (possibly because it was more than half empty). It seems some spots will fib in order to get customers (especially if it's not the high season). I think asking if they have a children't menu is probably good advice - thanks!!

amatters

I dont think that a restruant can say "no children", unless it because of alcohol laws. But I am glad you call ahead, too many times i go to a nice palce and get stuck next to the screaming kid.

snowrooster

I know, that would drive me crazy too (especially when I'm paying a sitter for a kid-free evening). I leave if one of my kids starts screaming, it's just nice to know ahead if a place if "fancy shmancy" and quiet or more bustling and likely to drown out a non-hushed voice.

MikeT

How about having a back-up plan. You're talking about Hilton Head, not NYC, so if you arrive and realize it's not a good fit, how far can it be to find another more kid-oriented restaurant?

snowrooster

That would be okay for a normal person, but I tend to obsess about where to eat while on vacation. I research all the travel websites and make a spreadsheet of who recommends what, so I put a lot of consideration into each meal (what can I say, I love to eat!!). A bad meal on vacation is a wasted opportunity for a nice evening(especially since I am land locked in Ohio and vacation is often my only shot at really fresh seafood).

LDLee

This topic was a big issue in the local paper last year. To me it is a function of how well behaved the kids are and how the parents respond when the kids act up. It sounds like the kids do well and you are a responsible parent. Speaks well of you and your children.

One too many times I have been at a nice restaurant where the parents let the kids run around and disrupt everyone else's meals. You are right to take them out if they start to cry. It may let them be in control, but it shows respect for others. What I hear from many parents are questions like "Are we grumpy?" or "Someone is not having a good time?" My dad would tell me, "Either you stop crying or we leave and I will give you a good reason to cry." I usually stopped crying.

If you are staying at a hotel, check with the concierge. If you know any locals, ask them.

jlm_mi

You'll certainly find someone here who will come on and say that the kids don't belong anywhere!

But, giving the general population here the benefit of the doubt Why not do some more research (if it's not already done) and then post a new question here with the specific restaurants you have in mind. Certainly, many fodorites have Hilton Head experience and would be able to help with at least some of the choices!

klw25

I've had good luck at nice restaurants with my three kids (6,4, and almost 2) by eating early. We'll make a reservation around 5. That way, there's less people to disturb, you can request a corner table or one away from other guests, and you'll get served more quickly because it's not as busy. I realize that the busier it is, the noise level will help drown out the kids if they forget to use their "indoor voices," but my kids tend to get more excited the louder and busier it is. On some level I guess they realize that if it's quiet around them, they should try to keep it down too (sometimes!)
We've also had good luck taking them to hotel restaurants. We peeked into a place one night that did not look like the type that would welcome children, but my husband asked and they were very accomodating. They didn't have a children's menu but made the kids burgers (probably off the room service menu), and all of the waiters made a point of coming over and talking to the kids throughout the evening. They even made them huge complimentary sundaes.
I think hotels have to be more accommodating to families. Once, my husband and I were at Aujourd'hui, one of Boston's top restaurants, located in the Four Seasons. It was our anniversary, and I was not happy when a family with two very young children was being seated right after us. But wherever they put them, I didn't hear a peep out of them all night (maybe they fell asleep!). Good luck!

Cats_Do_Dance

My suggestion is to also eat out early. We took our daughter to NYC back when she was 2 years old and manage to eat out every night with no problems. We simply we out to dinner around 5 pm and chose restuarants that were more family oriented. I'm sure you'll be able to find listings of family friendly restaurants located in Hilton Head.

MikeT

Snow, maybe the fact you have children means you can't be quite so high-maintenance about restaurants. The price of having children is somtimes you have to sacrifice that Latin-Asian fusion place and eat at Happy Burger because your kids are not in a good mood.

girlonthego

Our girls have always been well behaved in restaurants, but if they weren't, we left.
I was in Hilton Head last year and I think almost everywhere on the island is kid friendly. I would call ahead and find out if they have a kids menu and high chair and I would also eat at 5pm. That would be the best bet.
If your kids are good, then you shouldn't be penalized and not be able to eat out. But if they are bad, then you should exit and box the meal.

FainaAgain

I think you've answered your own question: if a restaurant doesn't have high chairs it's not a child-friendly establishment.

By me it's fine to take children to restaurants, but they get bored very fast, so if one parent can place an order while another watches the kids outside till the food is served this would be perfect for eveybody.

And I'd rather sit next to a child then at the same table with some of my relatives, sigh...

klw25

There's no reason to restrict yourselves to children-oriented restaurants. I'd say differently if you had kids who rarely went out to eat and couldn't sit still for 5 minutes, but it sounds like yours are used to going to nicer restaurants and behaving quite well. As was said earlier, as long as you're considerate of others and take your kids outside for a few minutes if they start to act up, you won't disturb others.
I'm very much like you when it comes to eating out on vacation. We both love food (my husband's a chef) and we would feel like it was a huge waste to eat in mediocre places when we could be eating at new and exciting places. We just use common sense--we wouldn't take the kids to an obvious special-occassion place where people are paying a high price to enjoy a meal without their own children.
You might try telling the restaurant that you need two highchairs when you make the reservation, even if you only need one. That way if they tell you that they only have one, you'll know that it's not a place that truly welcomes children. And again let me emphasize how much luck we've had going to dinner early. As I said, the service is almost always faster, and your kids won't be over-tired.

Dreamer2

I was going to post what CatsDoDance and GirlontheGo said. Just go early, and be committed to taking one out if she/he gets fussy!

obxgirl

Wow, good and common sense from klw25!

Patrick

Call me a fuddy duddy, but I don't get what difference it makes if the restaurant is "quiet" or not. If the kids scream and yell, they don't belong in any restaurant until you teach them to keep quiet. I've been to dinner with friends who bring children with them (as young as 2) and they are no problem. They have been taught that when eating they are quiet, and I've been to their homes where is is the same thing. Children CAN be taught at a very early age that eating and screaming don't go together. If you allow them to scream and carry on or run around the table at home, then of course it will be impossible for them to understand why they can't do that in a restaurant.

hibiscushouse

Kudos Patrick. And I'm glad it was someone else who said it besides me. Best advice given to me was by my Pediatrician...a crying child is 99% not a dying child. They'll get it over it and realize you're the boss and these are the rules.
I'm raising three young boys, and prechildren, we loved to go out to dinner. I like to cook, but enjoy going out to dinner that much more. So, I insisted my children behave at restaurants. It took about three meals out in a row to get them to understand that I meant business, but they caught on and now it's a pleasure to go out as a family.
Did the same thing with each of the kids. Before we got to the restaurant, a quick lecture of what the proper behaviour was that was expected and consequences if they didn't.
Sure enough, had to take them out of the high chair, and to a quiet area of the restaurant at eye level repeating the proper behavior, sat them back down in the high chair. Repeat if necessary.
Always worried about disturbing other diners, if they became too vocal over the expectations, we would retreat to the car seat in a air conditioned car while they wailed their frustration to the top of the lungs while Mom sat outside the door waiting until they were finished. "Do you think you can behave now?" Then, right back down in the high chair with the same expectations. Repeat if necessary.
Like I said, it took about three dinners out for them to get it. Got easier as we had more kids, b/c the siblings would look at their brothers as if to say, "you'd better cut it out...it won't help!"
In our book, the kiss of death is to take them out of the high chair when they have the fits, and reward them with a stroll around the property!
They're a bit older, 5 to 10 y.o., and if they misbehave at dinners out now, we threaten them with a babysitter instead. Works every time!

nytraveler

IMHO kids as young as 2 or 3 never belong in a real restaurant. Family restaurants are fine - or casual cafes/bistros. But no child that age is capable of sitting quietly for the 2+ hours of a real dinner - and even if people try to be tolerant, why should they have to suffer through a child being upset/crying/whining etc - when at least some of them left their own kids with sitters so they could have a pleasanat adult experience.

I would either get a sitter or stick to casuale places until the kids are able to understand and behave properly in a restaurant - and I have never seen this in kids younger than 6 or 7.