Our favorite breakfast spot when my son was a toddler was a Spanish restauarant that we nicknamed the Noisy Place because of its Latin music and it's boisterousness. It can be stressful for parents if the children don't behave -- and they are after all children. At the Noisy Place, not only were the noisy children inconspicuous but the noise levels seemed to soothe them and they quieted down.

I hated to go anywhere nice with mine. The idea that I was ruining anyone else's meal was more of a dilemma than the fact that I was ruining my own. After all, not everyone is used to kids.

There is nothing dearer than the sight of well-behaved children in a nice restaurant and nothing more annoying that little ones crying, screaming, or running around in a place intended for adults.

I have to disagree that kids under 7 can't behave in a restaurant. Mine (ages 6,4,and 2) have sat perfectly well-behaved through a 2+ hour meal more than once--and I've received many compliments on their behavior from nearby diners as they were leaving. And I'm not saying that they're always perfect angels--far from it. But they know that mom will not be happy if they don't behave in certain situations. As hibiscus said, if you teach them to act properly and get them accustomed to eating frequently in restaurants, they will learn at a young age to be on the best behavior and to show respect for others.
I agree with nytraveler that no one should be subjected to crying, whining children in a nice restaurant. In fact, they shouldn't be in any restaurant. But many parents, myself included, would not allow that to happen. I know some do, but I remove my children in these circumstances. The nicer the restaurant, the quicker I act. If we're surrounded by equally unruly children, I may be a little more forgiving, because I find that these type of neighbors can get my kids a little riled up. But if we're in a high-end restaurant, they're removed at the first of a potential disruption. I don't want to sound like a parent who thinks they can take their kids anywhere and everywhere and tough luck if others don't like it. My husband and I have been to plenty of restaurants where we would never take our kids. But I think $45 entrees would be slightly unappreciated by most kids. I'm just saying that you can enjoy a nice meal in a nice restaurant if you use good sense and consideration.

Yes, klw, I've passed by numerous families in restaurants and complimented them on the behavior of their kids -- often during two hour meals.
Once again, I think the issue that many parents miss is that at home the kids are allowed to run around the table or scream at dinner, and then they can't understand why when they go out they simply can't control them.

I have to add a recent story. While on vacation with my children who are 10 and 12, we sat in a restaurant (not really fancy)where the tables were very close together. The table next to us had a couple (40's)where the man stroked the woman's entire leg during the meal. The leg was about 2 feet from my 12 year old who was "totally grossed out". So it's not just children who make a scene!

Have to agree with Patrick. I have 3 nephews and a niece all under 4 years old and we can't stand going out to eat with them. The root of the problem is that they haven't taken naps and/or they haven't been taught that dinner is a time to eat when everyone else is eating and not playtime.

It doesn't matter how nice/mediocre the restaurant is although I tend to agree that expensive restaurants are not for young kids. Just tonight we ate at Sweet Tomatos (salad buffet and completly family oriented) and we saw several people including ourselves glaring at a family with screaming kids. My husband keeps telling me "When we have kids we are never going out to eat". I think that's a little overkill but I have to agree that if your kids can't behave then you should take them outside or not take them out at all. However, just next to the screaming kid was another family with a little girl that was quiet as a mouse and she even looked surprised at the screaming.

Snowrooster, I think it's great that you want your kids to experience finer food but are they really going to experience it in the same way an adult would at 2 & 3years old? I think they'll appreciate it more when they are a little older. My parents included me on some finer restaurants/experiences when I was in middle school/high school that I loved and remember.

Our kids are at easier ages now (5 1/2 and 9yo), and we've always taken them to a variety of restaurants, including more formal places. Here are some things that have worked for us.

The early dinner hour works against us because sometimes it's too quiet (I prefer more ambient noise). On the other hand, we've had some nice chats with the waiters at that time of evening.

We state and repeat the restaurant rules, and for the younger child, allow walks around the restaurant (or outside) as a break from sitting nicely.

Restaurants with outdoor seating are always a benefit. Even at a formal place, the outdoor spots tend to feel less formal, and any raised voices aren't as noticeable.

Ethnic restaurants can have great food, and may be less formal. Some are more accepting of kids, as well.

I always take a small selection of small toys as a backup entertainment system, though I encourage conversation (especially with our older kid). Sometimes books, never electronic games.

Whenever possible, we review the menu in advance and select several items the kids would be interested in ordering (whether on the kids menus or not). Often our kids will order appetizer items as their main course; soups can also be reliable. And even if there's no kids' menu, if a restaurant serves any pasta dish, they've always been willing to serve pasta with butter to a child.

For a while, I had a point system "contest" in place to encourage them to try new foods. 2 points for an entirely new dish they ordered; 1 point for trying a bite of something (that someone else ordered). They didn't seem to notice that the contest never had an end, but they still try new foods.

I think the answer is in the first sentence of your question - "somewhat unpredictable".

I think the decision is less one of restaurants (with exception of very high end, no-high-chairs type places) but of "how are the kids doing right now". Our kids have eaten out since birth, and like everyone had good days and bad days. I remember one trip on Cape Cod to restaurant where we ordered drinks, our son got cranked up and was not going to stop - so we paid for the drinks we had ordered plus a huge tip to "rent" the table and left. Mostly, they behaved for a minimal course meal (no relaxing dessert and coffee) - and we both were ready to take them for walks outside, etc. We did that anyway after we ordered before the food came.

Our guidelines were if you could hear them more than 2 tables away (even if they were singing the Barney song - I personally do not consider that good dinner entertainment) or would not sit in their chair, off they went with one parent.

So since your kids are unpredictable because they are kids, you need to be predictable to them - clear ideas of how they should behave. And you need to be extremely flexible - imagine some rushed dinners, times when one parent is outside while other is eating. With that, you can really eat anywhere.

One further note on my already too wordy response - we found there was a finite number of times per day or week we could expect kids to sit and eat in a restaurant. Don't expect them to sit still 3 meals/day for the lengthof your vacation.

I'm somewhat skeptical that 2 and 3 year olds can sit quietly through a 2 plus hour dinner. As a parent of young children, you have a naturally higher threshold for what constitutes a disruption. What you may find "quiet" might seem pretty disruptive to the next table over childless couple trying to have a romantic dinner. And I don't think that people eating early should be expected to give up having a quiet meal. Disruptions are disruptions whether they occur at 5:30 pm or 9 pm.
I'm also wary about parents who want to tempt their children to try new foods at gourmet restaurants--from a very unpleasant personal experience. We were having dinner in a fancy restaurant outside Philadelphia. The couple at the next table had a very nice, well behaved 5 yo daughter. She was quietly eating her plain meal when her father asked her if she'd like to try his cream of lobster soup, perhaps in an attempt to "educate" his daughter's palate. She agreed, tried it and liked it. She ate maybe 1/3 of his soup. Everyone happy about this "sophisticated" little girl until 20 minutes later when she suddenly vomited the soup all over the table!! Not the child's fault, she had been very well behaved, but still incredibly unsettling and not exactly the thing one wants to see at any restaurant, much less and upscale special occasion spot.

Just a note to the folks saying that young children have no place in non-family oriented restaurants because of behavior issues. I do not allow my children to act up or scream in restaurants as I stated previously. If they do so even for a moment, they are taken outside to be reprimanded or we get the food to go and leave. I believe children should be taken to restaurants other than burger joints and olive gardens - my parents always took me to nice restaurants from a young age and as long as they aren't disrupting other diners (which is really the key) I don't see why anyone would have a problem with this.

My thread is really not about whether it is okay to take kids somewhere other than McDonalds, but how to get an idea of the atmosphere of a given restaurant when you are on vacation and not familiar with the places you want to eat. Hilton Head is pretty much a family destination. Some of the restaurants are expensive, but still listed as casual, so it's hard to tell. I think the advice to ask about high chairs/children's menus when calling ahead is probably best. If a restaurant doesn't have a kid's menu at a family destination like HH, it probably isn't a good option.

To share a story . . . I have 2 cousins that were raised on the east coast in a well to do family. However their parents never encouraged them to try different foods and even when they went to nice restaurants they ordered burgers. Now they are the pickiest adults and have to special order almost everything because they consider pretty much anything "gross." If someone vomits because they ate lobster bisque, it's because the lobster bisque didn't agree with them (perhaps a seafood allergy), not because of their age (though I imagine an adult might have better luck getting to the toilet on time).

Deciding which restaurants are kid-friendly might simply be a matter of cost.

In my experience, restaurants with entrees in the plus-$20 category generally aren't for kids. Under $20 is a judgment call, but you're on safer ground.

One amusing part of this thread is that everyone seems to KNOW OF poorly behaved children, but of course no one admits to HAVING poorly behaved children.

Probably in nicer, expensive restaurants, the other patrons' feelings ought to be paramount, and you kids ages 1-10 should be left with the sitter. It's unfair to expect kids to be still or quiet, and equally so to impose them on strangers. Sitters are the answer.

Agree with the others, eat early and you sound like you know your kids well enough to know how they will act.

When I was growing up, my sisters and I know if we misbehaved, we'd get our butt worn out. Just the unspoken threat of punishment kept us in line.

We never ate at really nice restaurants until we were old enough to understand that they were nice. Maybe 10 or so?

In one of my husbands restaurants, it appalls me they way some parents let their kids run through the restaurant simply for the fact that a waiter carrying a large tray overhead cannot see them.

Also he has big giant heavy doors in front and parents will let toddlers stand in front of them.

The worst was a parent letting their very young child jump up and down in a booth. I told the mother her child could get hurt and she told me to mind my own business.

Oooh, I love that one, GoTravel! So, did you tell her it was your "own business," since you own the business?

I agree with the concensus but just by way of example, we were at Lupa in NYC last week with a 7 mo. old. When I called to make the reservation I told them she would be with us and asked whether they would have a high chair available. They did and asked tha we make our reservation for 7 p.m. or earlier, which was fine with us. The wait staff was great and even gave her a fancy bowl to eat her baby food out of and rinsed off the spoon and gave us a warm towel to wipe off her face.

I agree with Patrick. We have been taking our dd to nice restaurants since she was a baby. She is expected to behave and I reiterate that point with her before we go and tell her what is not acceptable behavior. And as others have said, the key is to go early before the rush. We took her out on New Year's Eve to a very nice restaurant (early) and received so many compliments as to her behavior. The staff was so enamored with her they gave her a free dessert.

It really does make you feel good when others compliment your children's behavior (and I suppose it is also a positive reinforcement for the kids as well). We had Easter Brunch at a very high end downtown hotel, and before we left an older couple at the table next to us remarked that they hadn't even noticed our children were there. Makes you feel good.

Just a note that I realize babysitters are the best option, but my post is regarding an upcoming vacation where a sitter will not be available. I have some great family friendly spots picked out, but there are one or two others I'm not so sure about. I'm going to call and check about high chairs/kids menus and plan to go early if we try either of them. Thanks for all the great suggestions!!

We were in hilton head when our son was 11 months old. The nicest restaurant we ate at was Cafe Europa - we went early (around 5) and our son was doted on by the waitstaff. He was very well behaved and we had a very nice dinner. Our rule with our now 3 yr old and 11 month old is do not stay at the restaurant longer than one hour. We also order quickly

This is unsolicited advice, but I've taken my 3 kids to lots of restaurants, so I speak from experience. Most kids - even the best behaved - have a time limit. When my kids were the age of yours we could take them out and they'd get lots of complements...as long as we kept it to about an hour. When we would go out and want to eat multiple courses, making it more of a 2 hour event, it didn't go as well. There are ways you can speed up the dinner, such as asking for your check as soon as you get your entrees, etc.

I know what you mean - no three course meals with the little ones in tow. If it appears they are getting restless, we usually ask for the check with the food so we can pay then and leave immediately if necessary!! Last time we were in HH I was 7mos pg w/my daughter and my son was about 17mos. We were okay everywhere but Hudson's where we had to wait a while for a table so by the time we sat down, he was already ready to go (needless to say we had dinner boxed up and ate it back at our rental)!