I'm invited to a "classy" evening wedding in Manhattan this summer. Is a black silk dress appropriate?

I would think so. You don't mention the length, but unless the wedding is black tie, I think a shorter dress would be appropriate (in my mind, I equate "classy" with cocktail attire).

The dress is about mid-calf length. The wedding is black tie optional.

Sounds perfect. Have a great time!

Yes, sounds perfect. However, accessories and shoes often "make" the ensemble... What are you planning?

With black tie optional, you will be fine if it is a cocktail type dress. I would wear some sparkly accessories.

Every black tie optional wedding I've been to has been mostly black tie.

I have dressy black sandals and plan on wearing a single string of pearls and pearl/diamond earrings.

For the men, if they are wearing a black suit (rather than a tux), does the tie have to be solid black or does a dark color suffice? Thanks!

twin, the rule of etiquette that I've always followed is any wedding after 6PM is a formal wedding. By adding Black Tie Optional, it was an out for those gentlemen who did not own a tux but would have to rent one to attend the wedding. So, my suggestion would be to omit the word "optional" and dress accordingly.

I don't think GoTravel's advice is necessarily correct. I've never worn a tux to an "optional" wedding. It also depends on age - a lot of guys my age (20's) think a bow-tie is stupid looking and will only wear the tie-style tux anyway (unless we're in the wedding so we have no choice - and every wedding I've been the party has worn the tie-style anyway). On the tie, I would say black or silver are most common in that situation.

And if it says nothing on the invitation, I don't know of anyone who would think that means black tie required even if that is what Emily Post might say.

Having been to a few of those weddings in Manhattan, I can say that most of the men wore a tux. Ladies were very dressed and all the jewelry came out!
Be sure your shoes are high heeled and fit a dressy occassion
Have fun!!

If he doesn't have a modern tux then bag it and go with the suit. There's nothing "classy" about renting your clothes and wearing some old Men's Wearhouse $200 special doesn't look any better. A dark suit, white shirt - french cuffed, with a darker tie will look much better than some ill fitting penguin suit.

twina.....Dazzle them with some glittering bling bling and have a blast!!

vacationdreamer, twin said the wedding was black tie optional.

Maybe it is because I'm from the south but I was always brought up that High Noon weddings and after 6PM weddings were formal.

As far as the bowtie issue, that is standard tux/dinner jacket garb. The ties and shirts have changed over the years but a classic tux is still the white shirt and black bow tie which will always be in style. Something about a man in cuff links......

Anyway, take a look at Cary Grant in a tux.

Thanks for all the information! I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Wedding guest style for her

Informal Daytime: Short dress or suit (business attire OK for morning weddings)
Informal Evening: Cocktail dress
Semi-Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit
Semi-formal Evening: Cocktail dress
Formal Daytime: Short dress or suit. Hats and gloves optional.
Formal Evening or Black-Tie: Long or dressy short cocktail (beading, glam accessories, wrap)
Ultra-formal or White Tie: Long gown, extra glitz (furs, diamonds, etc.)
Do's and Don'ts for Her

Don't wear white because it competes with the bride. There are plenty of other colors available.
Don't wear black or sequins during the daytime.
Don't worry about wearing the same colors as the bridesmaids or mothers. You can't possibly coordinate with everyone in the wedding party.
Do wear something feminine and appropriate, out of respect for your hosts.
(strapless, see-through, etc) doesn't belong at a wedding. If you have to ask if it's appropriate, it probably isn't.
Don't wear opera-length gloves (to top of arm) with anything but sleeveless or strapless gowns.
Do take off gloves to eat or drink.
Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn't specify the formality of the event. A pastel suit or soft floral dress for daytime or a little black dress for evening (after 6 p.m.) will take you almost anywhere.
Wedding Style for him

Informal Daytime: Dress shirt and pants, preferably a sports jacket.
Informal Evening: Suit
Semi-Formal Daytime: Suit
Semi-Formal Evening: Dark suit
Formal Daytime: Dark suit and tie
Formal Evening: Tuxedo (if invitation states "black tie") or dark suits if women wear short dresses.
Ultra-formal Evening or White Tie: White tie, cummerbund, vest and shirt.


Do's and Don'ts for Him

Don't try to get cute with a tuxedo. A black tux with white shirt and black bow tie is the best way to go. If "Creative Black Tie" or "Texas Formal" or some sort of other vague formal description is used, then going with a tux and black shirt, no tie, might be acceptable. Also, trendier cities like Los Angeles and New York might be more accepting of breaking with tradition.
Do wear a dark suit, with a tie if the wedding is after 6 PM, and doesn't say "Black Tie."
Don't wear a tuxedo during the day time, regardless of the formality of the event.
Do use good judgment if the invitation doesn't specify the formality of the event. A dark suit and conservative tie will take you just about anywhere.

I ended up wearing a size 6 black silk strapless Barami that I got on Ebay for $35 - love those bargains! I felt very comfortable and fit right in with the rest of the guests. It was a great wedding!

Even with black tie I've seen people wear short dresses and even dressy slacks. Your dress sounds fine. As far as the men, many don't have/wear tuxes. I nice dark suit with a tie I think still would should definitely be OK with BT Optional.

A fabulous beaded or embroidered (but neither overly) black sweater would be a good idea. It is often freezing indoors in the summertime. A gorgeous shawl or wide and long scarf (though pashmina is sort of "out") in your favorite/most flattering color would be nice as well. I, personally, like to add some color to a black dress at a wedding.

Every, in recent years, time we've been to a "black tie optional" and my husband wore a tux, everyone thought those in tuxes were in the wedding party. Then, at one "black tie optional" New Year's Eve party he was asked which instrument he played (as though he were in the orchestra when they were taking a break).

Now, he's found a terrific year-round black wool suit (hard, but not impossible, to find quality fabric that isn't shiny) - no pinstripes, etc.

In my observation, the balance is far more toward "optional" these days.

What in the world is Texas formal? Do you have to wear a mullet too?