Now it's Hawaii alone or not atall, don't know what to do...
May 10th, 2001, 11:45 AM
#61
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That is so not true.
I have been in love with this guy for four years, better or worse.
I've been married twice before and I'm 40 years old. It is not my desire to get married again. I like having my own place and space to myself. I have traveled all over the world. Lived in Dubai, Paris and London -- alone. I go to Vegas alone. My BF will be turning 55 on Friday, and the truth is I am terrified something may happen to him, he's at the age where anything can, and he smokes. I deeply love him and want more than anything time with him. Some good time. We are usually so busy with our jobs we don't get quality time as a couple.
For the record, I'm probably the only person on the board who uses her real name and email address -- so misguided or not, I am real. And I love him. And using him is the last thing happening here. I am the one who bought this little trip out of a rare vegas jackpot.
I have been in love with this guy for four years, better or worse.
I've been married twice before and I'm 40 years old. It is not my desire to get married again. I like having my own place and space to myself. I have traveled all over the world. Lived in Dubai, Paris and London -- alone. I go to Vegas alone. My BF will be turning 55 on Friday, and the truth is I am terrified something may happen to him, he's at the age where anything can, and he smokes. I deeply love him and want more than anything time with him. Some good time. We are usually so busy with our jobs we don't get quality time as a couple.
For the record, I'm probably the only person on the board who uses her real name and email address -- so misguided or not, I am real. And I love him. And using him is the last thing happening here. I am the one who bought this little trip out of a rare vegas jackpot.
May 10th, 2001, 11:51 AM
#62
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I figured you were paying for the trip.
He is supposed to make good money? If he made good money and loved you he wouldn't let you pay for the trip unless he was a scum bag and he knew you were a fool.
You are wasting your money, your time, a trip to Hawaii, and your life!!
Unless you are a troll!
He is supposed to make good money? If he made good money and loved you he wouldn't let you pay for the trip unless he was a scum bag and he knew you were a fool.
You are wasting your money, your time, a trip to Hawaii, and your life!!
Unless you are a troll!
May 10th, 2001, 11:51 AM
#63
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I'd say some of you are definitely going in the wrong direction. And I certainly hope this is not going to cost $7000!!!! And I never said we weren't having sex. We aren't children. And He can't have them. So what's up with the last few posts? I certainly didn't say I was spending $7K. I'm sure you must have had a really wonderful time for that much, but we will have to settle for not quite so extravagant.
May 10th, 2001, 11:54 AM
#64
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Cindy,
I was going to write and tell you not to LET your boyfriend go with you to Hawaii... and then I remembered that I did pretty much the same thing a few years ago when I took my lacking-in-positive-qualities boyfriend to Paris. It was a long, horrible week. We broke up a week or two later, the day before my Visa bill arrived with $1000 of Parisian hotel and dining charges.
Talk about adding insult to injury! I called my mother to cry and complain about it, and she said, "Gina, if it only cost you one week and $1,000 to figure out this ISN'T the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you got off easy." She was right.
So, even though it was horrible (and expensive) I thank my lucky stars I went.
Subsequently, this August I'm headed to Maui myself - with someone who is so much better for me that I almost can't believe I stayed with the ex for as long as I did.
Cindy, good luck and hope you find your answer.
I was going to write and tell you not to LET your boyfriend go with you to Hawaii... and then I remembered that I did pretty much the same thing a few years ago when I took my lacking-in-positive-qualities boyfriend to Paris. It was a long, horrible week. We broke up a week or two later, the day before my Visa bill arrived with $1000 of Parisian hotel and dining charges.
Talk about adding insult to injury! I called my mother to cry and complain about it, and she said, "Gina, if it only cost you one week and $1,000 to figure out this ISN'T the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you got off easy." She was right.
So, even though it was horrible (and expensive) I thank my lucky stars I went.
Subsequently, this August I'm headed to Maui myself - with someone who is so much better for me that I almost can't believe I stayed with the ex for as long as I did.
Cindy, good luck and hope you find your answer.
May 10th, 2001, 12:06 PM
#65
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I suppose we should put an end to this. I appreciate those of you who sincerely gave advice, you were very helpful. The tone is turning to one of moral reproach and I don't think it's anyone's business to be telling me whether or not I should sleep w/BF if we are not married. Hopefully you were just kidding and I didn't get the joke.
Since we are leaving on Sat a.m. there's way too much to do, and not much time. Those of you who think I am a complete idiot.....well you know the old saying about throwing stones. Funny enough I see the irony, some of you are accusatory re my BF being abusive and you are actually abusive yourselves while doing it. Which does make me a complete idiot if I allow total strangers with phony names to do that to me.
So again, to those of you who wrote supportive stuff, thanks for your help.
Since we are leaving on Sat a.m. there's way too much to do, and not much time. Those of you who think I am a complete idiot.....well you know the old saying about throwing stones. Funny enough I see the irony, some of you are accusatory re my BF being abusive and you are actually abusive yourselves while doing it. Which does make me a complete idiot if I allow total strangers with phony names to do that to me.
So again, to those of you who wrote supportive stuff, thanks for your help.
May 10th, 2001, 12:08 PM
#66
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Cindy, Please go back and reread your first posting. Why are you now defending him??? Your life should not be this roller-coaster of highs and lows ALL apparently dependent on his actions. Call him right now and politely tell him you have "decided to go alone. You'd really prefer to spened some quality time by yourself" Take back the control....I quarantee, you'll be smiling all the way to the airport!!
May 10th, 2001, 12:09 PM
#67
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You made your decision to allow him to go even though he flip flopped back and forth. As you see, you have control. You could have said no when he changed his mind. Enjoy the trip for it is heaven on earth. You will have an opportunity to see how other couples are treating each other and compare them with the stability of your own relationship. We know he is not all bad and has many fine qualities in a man you desire. Use this trip as a final test he will pass or fail, keep you or lose you. Don't tell him that. And of course being away always gives us time for personal reflection. Have fun for it is truly the vacation of a lifetime. One day you may being recalling the wonderful trip with him or telling your "real" true love about the time you went on a trip with a nutty old boyfriend to Maui. So, go make the story.
May 10th, 2001, 12:23 PM
#69
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Let's see. Can Cindy push any more of our buttons? Let's check the tally:
1. He's older.
2. He's controlling.
3. She paid for the trip.
4. Cindy claims to be 40, but sounds like a giggling high school kid.
5. He smokes.
6. He's abusive, but he makes good money, so that makes it OK.
7. At 55, he's a never-been-married momma's boy.
8. He has a hot temper.
9. He supposedly can't have kids.
10. Hooking up with Peter sounds like a good plan to Cindy.
That's plenty. We've been had again!
The only thing missing is that he's told her he's gay, but she's going to change his mind.
1. He's older.
2. He's controlling.
3. She paid for the trip.
4. Cindy claims to be 40, but sounds like a giggling high school kid.
5. He smokes.
6. He's abusive, but he makes good money, so that makes it OK.
7. At 55, he's a never-been-married momma's boy.
8. He has a hot temper.
9. He supposedly can't have kids.
10. Hooking up with Peter sounds like a good plan to Cindy.
That's plenty. We've been had again!
The only thing missing is that he's told her he's gay, but she's going to change his mind.
May 10th, 2001, 12:30 PM
#70
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started reading again --I was going top say I have friends married to Sicillians -they are loving & worshi[p the ground there women walk on -so for YOU to USE that as an Excuse...I was going to ask if he had benn married when you said house ,dogs... then when I read on--? Is he married????You obviously have not learned from your past 2 divorces yet -perhaps you might want to look into some counseling so you do not have another repeat.Figures you are paying- you are back into a relationship where you are being used & abused & yet YOU continue to make excuses for his actions-do yourself a favor & look into some help before you do it to yourself again There are women that love to much (infact a book out on that too) and men who hate women ( a book by the same name also)but you really need to work on self esteem & boundry issues it sounds like & not contributing to your own problems-sounds like an adult child or co dependent type thing..
but YOU are allowing this to go on & till YOU realize it & YOU do something
you will continue to fall into destructive relationships--I AM sorry if this sounds harsh - sometimes if we are not aware of our own problems we cannot resolve them - I wish you only the best! & Since you are the one paying I would suggest you go with anyone else!(I'd bet you could find someone wanting to go to Maui- ANY TAKERS HERE?!
)
p.s. he will prob outlive you !!
but YOU are allowing this to go on & till YOU realize it & YOU do something
you will continue to fall into destructive relationships--I AM sorry if this sounds harsh - sometimes if we are not aware of our own problems we cannot resolve them - I wish you only the best! & Since you are the one paying I would suggest you go with anyone else!(I'd bet you could find someone wanting to go to Maui- ANY TAKERS HERE?!
) p.s. he will prob outlive you !!
May 10th, 2001, 12:40 PM
#72
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At least this will be over in 2 days when Cindy and her old guy hit the beaches of Maui. Can't wait to see this come to an end. Just cringe when I log on and see this thread has made it to the top again. We've all given Cindy our adice about Maui and now about relationships. How about we move on?
May 10th, 2001, 12:40 PM
#73
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Cindy-If you indeed are for real, and I have serious doubts, you should know better especially if you have been married twice before. At 40, you should have your act together. Have you ever wondered why your two marriages failed and your part in them? Sounds to me like you pick losers. I suggest some counseling to find out why you are attracting losers. As to Maui, I would either cash in the tickets or go without him. Your bf is a loser and is just using you. Get help from a good therapist and put your life together...
May 10th, 2001, 12:46 PM
#74
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Come on people this has TROLL written all over it. I can't believe how gullible you all are. Cindy keeps changing and embellishing on her story. Her whining and grammar etc. sound like a high school student, not some 40 year old.
And Cindy, BRAVO! You fooled some of us. No go back to school or cheerleading practice or whatever you do and quit bothering the nice people. By the way, where are your parents???
And Cindy, BRAVO! You fooled some of us. No go back to school or cheerleading practice or whatever you do and quit bothering the nice people. By the way, where are your parents???
May 10th, 2001, 12:53 PM
#75
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ok. I lied, I rounded it down a bit. I am a little older than 40. 42, 40 what's the difference.
I probably should have stayed away before reading the last two posts.
Yeah, I paid for the trip, most of it anyway, he's picking up the car costs, 3 days of the hotel, and of course dinners. So what? I did it for his birthday present and because I wanted a vacation with him.
And as I said before, I am real. My name, my email is real. And my situation is real. So we're not THE perfect couple. I live in L.A. and count myself pretty lucky to be in a steady relationship (albeit rocky at times). I have 8 single girlfriends over 40 who are beautiful, good careers and no men. I love my guy. So what?
I don't know how you can be so judgemental (and some of you downright nasty) of someone you don't know over the internet.
I admit it was a big mistake to open up myself, and my life, and stuff that is important to me, on this board to total strangers who can attack me so easily.
As for that other comment about "hooking up with Peter"...you know, if I were going alone, and I saw peter had a public business (thereby people knowing him in town) meeting him for lunch in a public place would not have been so out of line. Have I answered everything for you?
I probably should have stayed away before reading the last two posts.
Yeah, I paid for the trip, most of it anyway, he's picking up the car costs, 3 days of the hotel, and of course dinners. So what? I did it for his birthday present and because I wanted a vacation with him.
And as I said before, I am real. My name, my email is real. And my situation is real. So we're not THE perfect couple. I live in L.A. and count myself pretty lucky to be in a steady relationship (albeit rocky at times). I have 8 single girlfriends over 40 who are beautiful, good careers and no men. I love my guy. So what?
I don't know how you can be so judgemental (and some of you downright nasty) of someone you don't know over the internet.
I admit it was a big mistake to open up myself, and my life, and stuff that is important to me, on this board to total strangers who can attack me so easily.
As for that other comment about "hooking up with Peter"...you know, if I were going alone, and I saw peter had a public business (thereby people knowing him in town) meeting him for lunch in a public place would not have been so out of line. Have I answered everything for you?
May 10th, 2001, 01:02 PM
#76
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I do not think MOST were attacks - seems most were genuinely concerned for you & your well being -- sorry you can't see it at this point -your copying it to look at down the road is a good idea,especially since you are back to defending him they all the bad YOU have wrote about him YOURSELF--
I really do not think MOST were attacks - and someday you will see that
if you do look back!
lots of luck !
I really do not think MOST were attacks - and someday you will see that
if you do look back!
lots of luck !
May 10th, 2001, 01:20 PM
#78
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I guess I am letting you bait me. No school today. I work for an entertainment law firm. I'm over 40. Perhaps you are just plain jealous that I am actually going to Maui in 2 days....hmmm that would explain why it's so satisfying for you to attack me.
May 10th, 2001, 01:26 PM
#79
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Ok Cindy Enough! Believe me, no one here is jealous of you. Most of the people posting on this board are seasoned travelers and probably have traveled more than you.
The previous poster is right, your story and tone are getting more ridiculous by the minute and your rudeness is violating Fodor's policy. I for one am sick of you and am writing Fodor's to get you off of here.
The previous poster is right, your story and tone are getting more ridiculous by the minute and your rudeness is violating Fodor's policy. I for one am sick of you and am writing Fodor's to get you off of here.
May 10th, 2001, 01:44 PM
#80
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This was all very entertaining. Thank you all.
I say Bravo to "been there" and "sue@hotmail". Short, to the point and right on the money.
Cindy: Sounds like you are doing the same thing you have always done. How close is this BF in comparison with the two ex-husbands? Patterning. We all do it to a certain extent. I think the message is loud and clear. If you want something different, change what you are doing. It may be uncomfortable for you to think about taking a vacation without him because in your mind the dream has overshadowed all reality. Stop dreaming and start living!
I say Bravo to "been there" and "sue@hotmail". Short, to the point and right on the money.
Cindy: Sounds like you are doing the same thing you have always done. How close is this BF in comparison with the two ex-husbands? Patterning. We all do it to a certain extent. I think the message is loud and clear. If you want something different, change what you are doing. It may be uncomfortable for you to think about taking a vacation without him because in your mind the dream has overshadowed all reality. Stop dreaming and start living!
