I have been happily married for over thirty years. Lately, I have noticed that my wife doesn’t excite me quite as much. Am I sexually dysfunctional?

No. You're just really ugly and very stupid.

She excites me just fine. BTW you're out of Scotch.

ROTFL - quite good

Try spanking her. She likes that. IT makes her frisky.

Makes her frisky AND makes her bark...
And Mark, if you hadn't let slip about that little crossdressing thing you like so much, she'd still be in your corner.

Just to complete the circle here & before Sam starts whining that this is not 'travel related'....Mark wants
everyone to know that his decreased libido is only apparent when he & his wife do NOT travel! As long as they travel,
they have 'the best sex ever while on vacation'. But, Mark is married to Worried Granny & her constant fretting about whether or not the grandchildren should
ski before age 4 is making her appear 'colder'. So, Mark is planning to go away with Zipped Up Granny until all
of this is clarified on the Fodor's
US Travel Talk page! In the meantime, I am going for a walk because I am spending too much time here with you
idiots! I am going to visit the grandkids whose parents have no common sense!

Hey Pal, let's face it, you need Viagra!