My darn daughter is getting married on Kauai in a very simple ceremony, barefoot in the surf and all. I want to go, for obvious reasons, but my husnand is the epitome of tight, has no interest in going himself (yes, he is boring), and I am not sure where I would find the money. This will be in the middle of March, over her Spring Break. Once I go to the wedding, I would be totally on my own, as the honeymooners would have no interest in my company. I might be able to find a friend to go with me, which would help. So the trip all sounds pretty impossible unless someone knows of a small, private cottage or other possibility for an extreme budget. I saw a reference in another post to VRBO, but I don't know what that is.

I do know someone in Honolulu that I might be able to pull out the "obnoxious long lost relative" card and stay with there. I had sort of reconciled myself to not going to the wedding, but as the time gets closer, it is bothering me more not to go. I shouldn't even be asking as I think it is an impossible challenge, but, hey, maybe someone has some magic ideas. Any magic out there?

Check out this website for some options at reasonable costs -
http://www.alternative-hawaii.com/accomg.htm

Depending on the wedding details, I think I'd go and stay in Waikiki (either with the long-lost person or in a very reasonable accomodation - Fodorites have their favorites they can recommend) and then fly over to Kauai for the day for the wedding.

Your husband has no interest in going to his daughter's wedding because he doesn't like where it's being held??? I think you're addressing the wrong problem.

He needs a (or several) swats upside the head. Get him up off his butt - I don't care how much of a tightwad he is - and to his daughter's wedding. Unless the two of you are on the verge of bankruptcy, he hasn't got a leg to stand on.

(What would he do if she stayed home and got married with 100 guests - contribute nothing?)

Your husband needs a kick in the pants. Take the money from your savings and live it up. Have a ball. The cheap husband probably never takes you out, never travels, etc etc, am I right? I was married to one of those. Listen, you will have fun on your own. Go get a travel guide and start your research. See some sights, take a tour, do a luau. Stay in a nice hotel. Honey, you live ONCE and you never know what tomorrow will bring. Spend some money, kick up your heels and GO FOR IT.

Beg,borrow or steal. You need to be at your daughter's wedding!

Lots of info. Many of the sites have lodging links.

http://fodors.com/forums/threadselec...1&tid=34812564

On Oahu, you might look at Royal grove Hotel in Waikiki. Not the best hotel around, but it is the best for the $$.

www.royalgrovehotel.com

Also:

www.visit-oahu.com Free brochure. There are over 400 websites for lodging, restaurants, attractions in the brochure & on the site. Click on: OVB Yellow Pages

You could stay somewhere fairly cheap in Waikiki, and just go over to Kauai for the day of the wedding? Royal Grove above is an excellent suggestion. Besides a hostel, that's about as cheap as you'll find.

If you're really willing to stay somewhere cheap, you could check out backpacking information for Kauai.

oh yes, and VBRO means "vacation rental by owner" where people rent out apartments and condos directly.

My in-laws didn't come to our wedding, for peculiar and not entirely clear reasons. Biggest mistake they ever made, a daughter later admitted and she apologized for not making them come and not coming herself (at the time, she was still under their roof and rules).

You need more than magic -- and you have more than money problems if your husband (assuming he's her father) 'has no interest' in going and your daughter doesn't seem to care whether her parents come and if you don't see a problem with all that.

If it were my kid, I'd raise Holy Ned to make sure I was at the wedding. If you want to be part of their lives later (grandkids and all), best get going.

Plan to come early but leave the day after the ceremony. Tell your daughter to help you out with accommodations -- she owes you that much, even if it's just doing the homework to find you a place that you pay for yourself.

suze/ dusty, did the Royal Grove have a different name a few years ago?

Go, twoteaches, just go. We'll help you plan an inexpensive option for this trip. Don't worry about changing your husband's mind about going. He may decide to go as time goes on, but plan YOUR trip and go to your daughter's wedding.

You'll have a better time anyway if he has to be dragged around

Congrats!

Take all the good advice here, go !! however you can..spend some money if that is what it takes.

My son just got married a bout an hour after Midnight, New Years day
He lives in Japan and plans to do it again with us present when he and his bride leave Japan...but I will always feel that little regret that we did not see him married the first time..even though it was just a signing and stamping of paper in an office..it is still your child getting married. Be there if it is at all possible.

There are times when tight or boring just don't excuse a person..

You don't need magic, you need a good attorney.

Royal Grove Hotel has not changed names as far as I know.

Built in 1948 so it is old compared to most.

Interesting article:

http://www.oahu.us/oahu_hotels_aston.htm

ha ha kswl.....amen!!!!

I would consider staying at a hostel on Kauai. I think that's the cheapest option for you.

We got married on San Juan island, and we paid for my mother to come from North Dakota. We also paid for my family's accommodations and transportation to the island (as it was not financially feasible for them). Isn't it usual for the bride/groom to help out with these expenses when they decide to get married in an "exotic" locale?

Personally, I think it would be better to spend the vacation part of the trip on a different island than the honeymooners.

Agree starrs on spending the holiday on another island..
Please go with your cheap a$$ husband and you can do it pretty cheap..
Where are you flying from?
Let's check Expedia and then direct to a few places that would work for you..
Cheapest would be to stay in Waikiki and then fly over and back, same day..I love Honolulu!

Glo Manor on Kauai has a great place for super cheap..
Friends stay and say it is really simple but just love it for around $75 for 2 people at Anini Beach..

MelissaHI will be a huge asset to this question on where to go and not to..
We want to all help you, so let's get busy and plan on you and your husband in Hawaii for your lovely daughters wedding!

homepages.hawaiian.net/glomanor

couchsurfing.com
Stay for free and meet some really great people along the way.
There are quite a few people listed in Kauai.

kswl, that is the 2nd time today you've made me laugh out loud.

I have a feeling husband isn't the daughter's father. Am I right, twoteachers?

I agree with the others to go no matter what. You will always regret it if you don't.

twoteachers, after you remove your foot from your husband's ass, take his credit card, book a flight, a decent hotel, and go buy a gorgeous mother of the bride dress.