Can you take time to visit some of these places? My thought is that besides the "open-minded" issue... local people are VERY different from Texas, or The South, or Pacific Northwest. Besides acceptance and affordability, in my mind this would be a major consideration (local attitude, lifestyle, vibe, atmosphere, culture whatever you'd call it).

Since you are considering Seattle and Portland (good choices), and if you are willing to consider Canada, be sure to think of the possibility of Vancouver, which is not far from and has basically the same climate as Seattle and Portland, is one of the most beautifully set cities I have ever seen, and I think I recently heard the metro area now has the largest Asian population outside of Asia.

If you prefer a sunnier, drier climate, I was very pleasantly surprised with Tucson. Again, one of the most beautifully set cities I've ever seen, and my impression was of not only greater beauty but more open attitudes than nearby Phoenix.

I don't think there's a large Asian community there, but of course there's the example of a very substantial Anglo-Hispanic cultural mix and ethnic mix, as well as a very large university, to set a tone. I think it's still relatively affordable.

I think Sacramento is still relatively affordable, much more so than the San Francisco Bay Area although it is less than 100 miles away from it. Asian Americans have been important here since the days of the Gold Rush and when they built the Transcontinental Railroad, and I was reminded of how important they have been in its business and political life on the occasion of the recent death of Sacramento's former mayor and longtime Congressman, Robert Matsui.

Unlike the Bay Area the weather in Sacramento in the summer is nearly as hot and sunny as Tucson's, something many people dislike but you might like. It's also been one of the fastest growing metro areas in the U.S. in recent years, and may present good job prospects.

In the East, I'm surprised no one has mentioned Baltimore. I live nearer to DC myself, but the attractions of Baltimore have been one of the most pleasant surprises I've had since I moved to this area from California a few years ago. It's cultural and entertainment resources, and many charming older building and dwellings, make it one of the most underrated cities in the U.S, I think.

While it is not known for a particularly large Asian population, because of the very large African-American community no one race is dominant, and the white population is very ethnically diverse.

Also, it's only 40 miles from DC, but housing prices are still much lower. In fact, there's a growing number of people who live in old buildngs with character near downtown Baltimore and take the train to work every day in downtown Washington.






















ortland

Madison, Wisconsin.

Think about college towns or cities with several universities.

And for what it's worth, I think couples such as yours are becoming so commonplace that the question might be "are there places we should avoid" -- except that would draw some churlish people with nasty generalizations. In general -- maybe think about coastal communities (because of the number of "port" cities with international populations), larger populations, universities or think-tank economies.

And best of luck to you -- think you might be worried about something that may not turn out to be a problem.

I agree with Cassandra. I think there are few places where an Asian/White could would cause people to stop in the street aghast or mean you would be ostracized at the neighborhood block party. In fact, I would be hard-pressed to think of a town where this would be a problem.

25 years ago my white dad married a Phillipina. They have lived mostly in Houston, but were in a small town called Navasota, TX for a few years. Maybe I'm naiive, but I wasn't aware that any place has issues with white/Asian marriages these days. They have never had any problems in any place they lived or visited.

Food.

I'd look at the food, especially Asian food and there's nowhere else but the West Coast and Hawaii for me. (PF Chang is NOT really Asian food!!!)

I was going to suggest Sacramento also - or the towns in the foothills further east where it will be a bit cooler.

Second thing is jobs. How easy would it be for you and your fiance to get jobs and, possibly more importantly, change jobs.

California has tremendous ethnic diversity. It is not unusual for an elementary school to have to reach out to parents in 200+ different languages. Northern California is more "tolerant" than Southern California, in my experience. But it goes beyond tolerance. We in Northern California not only enjoy the great climate and the tremendous bounty of products, we also enjoy one another's company. My neighbors come from every corner of the globe. Only one place in Southern California is like this: the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area.

Good luck on your choice!

I'm going to ditto the mentions of atlanta, but with a caution that one person alluded to. Atlanta itself is fine (I was in a cross-racial relationship throughout the years I lived there.) But when you venture outside of Atlanta to other parts of Georgia, the story can change. We had a couple of unpleasant experiences in small-town and far-suburban Georgia. But then, the worst experience was in NY City, so that's not conclusive.

Atlanta has incredible authentic Asian food on Buford Hwy. The area is call Chamblodia for Chamblee + Cambodia. I travel the rural SE and ask for the best Thai and Vietnamese food when I'm in the boonies...and the answer (whether I'm in Vidalia, GA or Greenville, NC) is always the same - Buford Highway in Atlanta.

I'd be interested in knowing where there are cities that might be unfriendly for an Asian/Caucasian couple.

I may be naive along with other posters, but I don't think there are many places in the US where people would raise eyebrows about an Asian/Caucasian mix. One of our good friends married an Asian-American woman and they live in a small town in NC, and have had no problems.

Seattle has a large Asian population. The schools in our district are about 25% Asian. The Asians have come from everywhere, and are at all income levels, from new immigrants to Asian-American families that have been on the west coast for generations.

Hello Sooshi, living in N CA I do not find any problem with any interracial relationships. I guess we are all assuming that you now live in the US. But perhaps not. Where do you live presently?

Agree with Grasshopper and Orca... no major city will be consistently hostile to an asian/caucasian couple. And every city in America will have at least a small numper of irrational psychotics who might take umbrage at practically anything.

Actually, the term "asian" is not a racial category. It would include Israelis of European origin (Israel is not in Europe or Africa, but on the continent of Asia... the Middle East is not a continent), as well as Sikhs, Punjabis, Kurds, Tajiks, South Indians, and of course Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese. Presumably also Russians in Siberia.

loveitaly, I live in Boston.

crys, it's funny that I also had a couple of unpleasant experiences in the suburbs of Boston, but my worst experience was in NYC, too! Do these experiences make me think that Boston or NYC is a racist city? Absolutely not. In fact I love these cities. But I am concerned about the kids we'll have in the future. Random remarks from jerks don't affect my self-esteem, but little kids can be hurt by these things, so I was just curious if some cities are known to be particularly more open and accepting to differences in people than others.

I see Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, and California in general come up again and again in the post, so there must be a good reason for that!

Thank you again, all.

Sooshi,

I think that the people who are nominating Atlanta, Portland, etc, don't really have a comprehensive knowledge of the level of racism in each American city... more likely, someone who once lived in Atlanta didn't notice any apparent hostility and is reporting this to you.

It's not as if they can rank 50 cities from less to more predjudiced and Atlanta is always number one on the list.

Otherwise, they could tell you whether Seattle is more or less racist than Portland or Atlanta.

Even if there were a difference in overt racism between, say, Minneapolis and Washington DC, the differences WITHIN the different districts of a particular city would be greater than that BETWEEN any two cities.

Boston is an example. Your unfortunate experience occured in a Boston suburb, but probably would not have happened in Boston city, or in Cambridge.

The reason people mention Atlanta is probably the assumption of an African-American/Caucasian couple... which may be common there... that is not you, however...

Hi Sooshi, I would imagine that any move you make would also depend on getting job, am I correct? N CA is a good place to think about. But have no idea what occupations the two of you have. Sacramento has been mentioned. That is in the Sacramento Valley. I live in the southern end of the Sacramento Valley, in Vacaville.

I do understand your not being able to relocate to SF due to housing cost.
And again because we do not know what type of occupation you and you loved one needs it is hard to predicate where it would be good for you two to relocate to. But I can assure you that N CA would be a good choice, assuming your occupation has an open job market here. Best wishes to you.

Good thread.

Now, can somebody please explain what xbt3216 just psoted?

Burper, I'm a little confused, too!

He is just continuing his usual practice of gobbledy-gook posts. Click on his name to get more examples. I found the January thread on Dallas vs. Chicago especially interesting. The editors must have as well because it is closed for further postings.

Actually, it made sense to me.

Basically, it's impossible to say that one city or another is going to have racism and that there coudl be problems depending on where one lived in the city.

The fact that the original poster had problems with Boston or NYC suggests she could see/experience racism anywhere since they are likely very tolrant problems.

Suggesting Atlanta as a tolerant city, for instance, is based on the perception it is a good place for middle-class African Americans to live. That doesn't mean, however, it is tolerant of Asians or mixed-race couples involving Asians and Whites.