Tip for anyone moving to the south from the north:

Do not criticize/mock southern accents/vernacular language directly to a southerner. It is disrespectful and totally intolerable to southerners. I am amazed at some people who do this in a "joking" manner when in reality southerners are truly annoyed by it.


Ok ... Here's another tip for persons from the south ... Please don't refer to persons from the north as "Yankees". It amazes me whenever I'm in the south, how freely this term is used, often in a not so nice manner. It's disrespectful, even when done in a "joking" manner.

I don't know where everyones sense of humour went , but I do hope you find it soon. It can make a person painfully boring and someone to avoid.

I have to agree with GoTravel when she says Home is where the heart is. It is a blessing if that is where one actually resides, I realize there are people who for some reason are living where they would rather not live, but take it from someone who has been through this- if you know you are not going back to that place that holds a special spot in your heart, either move somewhere else or get yourself an adjustment and settle down where you are! Like someone told me one day while I was whining about missing NYC...this is not a rehearsal, this is the only life you are gonna have, enjoy it and stop whining.
Of course, this does not mean I never whine but they are wise words, read them a couple of times - they might help.
I live in the PNW now, a girl born in the West, raised in the South and spent most of her adulthood in NY..if I can do it , I think someone moving from the NE to the SE can manage too. And btw- Yankee can be a most affectionate term, I guess it depends on the person speaking .. but then the word "redneck" sometimes gets bandied about Up North and since that can also be an insult, I imagine it can be meant in a humourous way too, right?
Now, y'all settle down and have some tea and be friends, there are bigger things to fuss about in this world than the North and the South..

Nicely said, Scarlett.

Scarlett, I agree, nicely put. Orcas - my primary point is that the 'reliving' of the Civil War on a daily basis by some folks when, it has had little impact on them, if any (their ancestors certainly) but not them, is beyond my comprehension. Although raised in Ohio my family originated in the hills of NC(near Boone). My great-great several times grandfather begat children from one of his slaves. The children were given his name to escape slavery themselves. At some point, the white part of my family migrated north into Ky. & later Ohio, the black portion south into Texas, although I still have family in all of these places. (I am white). So although born & raised in the North, my roots are very much in the South. I guess you reap what you sew ? It really becomes a point of mutual respect, does it not ? Or the lack there-of, whatever the case may be.

Bottom line - I'm hopeful we can just all be Americans...?? I'd prefer not to be persecuted for the sins of my fore fathers.

Some more recent examples to consider - Are the Japanese still angry w/us for bombing their country ? Do we avoid Germany because of Hitler & the Nazis ? Do we avoid former Communist countries & do they have a dislike for us ? It seems the majority of the world is able to 'get over' much more recent events than we are. No one here had anything to do w/the Civil War. Why would someone hold a grudge over history ? You can't change it, you can only hope to improve things today, & going forward.

Ahem, we do not relieve the war on a daily basis. But, words matter. Scarlett said it well regarding Yankee and redneck. It's all in the intent.

Starrsville - I agree, but there are those individuals that are still very much rooted in the past. Please keep in mind my intent is not to 'group' or place all persons in the South in the same bucket. I am talking about only a select few (in my experience). But the antagonism towards the North, certainly does exist.

The term redneck is not reserved for the south.
My niece, who was born in and still lives in Atlanta, was visiting us in Wisconsin.
One day we were out of the city, she looked around and asked in surprise,"Y'all have rednecks up here too?"
We all answered,"Yes!"

A redneck is someone who works in the sun, traditionally a farmer, whose neck gets sunburned. Hence a redneck can be from just about anywhere. Associated with being a redneck is a particular political ideology, which is not necessarily held by everyone with a red neck.

Back to the civil war, the difference between Japan and the south is that we did have the Marshall plan for Japan and for Germany after WWII. One of the reasons for the Marshall Plan, was that we actually did learn something from history. After WW I, help to Germany was not forthcoming, which laid the seeds for the rise of the Nazis. Being vanquished and having noone help you recover breeds discontent.

Don't misunderstand where I am coming from. I was born and raised in the Land of Lincoln, but my mother was from the south. I grew up not understanding why my southern cousins seemed so conscious of the Civil War. Also, my husband is from Atlanta and his Grandmother used to enjoy calling me a Yankee. She used to tell me, accusingly, what the Yankees had done to her Grandparent's farm (They were visited by General Sherman). As a matter of principle, I never told her I had two ancestors killed fighting for the Confederacy at Lookout Mountain. I never told her my southern "pedigree" went back to Jamestown. I hated the way she had stereotyped me.

So, please take my comments for how they are intended - to inform you why some people from the south feel as they do. It is different to be the vanquished and to be looked down on for generations....An example of that - Many people from the north dicount what people say who speak with a southern accent. They assume stupidity. Maybe this is changing, but my Mom and my husband shed their southern accents as fast as they could when they left the south. My husband tells stories about how people would think he was stupid when he was a kid and went to Boy Scout Camp in New Mexico because of his accent.
The north is not faultless in the defensiveness southerners have had....It really goes both ways.

Thanks orcas - well put.
You made many points in a more clear fashion than I could have.

I'm getting in here late, and I guess my memory is really screwed up, but Scarlett, I thought you moved to Seattle from Florida last year. Could I have you mixed up with another regular poster?