Regular posters here that I "talk" to know that I hate to fly; more like terrified. I've flown twice since 9/11. I cancelled our trip to Italy this summer and opted to stay on US soil, although we're flying across the other ocean to HI in July. Next month my husband and I are taking the trip to Martha's Vineyard that we were to take on 9/13/01.

We've all heard the latest news about an attack on US soil. Sorry folks, some people are afraid of spiders; I'm afraid of airplanes so please no one be snide. Please help me be rational about this or I'm afraid I'm going to chicken out. DH refuses to lose any more travel deposits and is tkaing the kids to HI with or without me (I don't THINK he'd go to MV alone).

Jayne, please go talk to a professional.

This phobia seems to be impeeding on your life and nothing should stop you from enjoying life.

I too had the same phobia and educated myself about flying. I talked to pilots, FAs, mechanics, and anyone in the biz.

I also watched a lot of documentaries.

One of the biggest contributors to fear of flying is lack of control.

I wish you much luck and understand what a painful thing fear of flying is.

For what it's worth, I now LOVE to fly.

I worry about flying...but not so much about terrorists. My husband keeps telling me that it's safer than riding in a car. At any rate, I grab onto his arm and hold on for dear life when taking off and landing. I hope you'll conquer your fears and go on your family trip to Hawaii

Best,
Sandy

Jayne, think like a gambler.

The odds are with you in a huge way on this thing. The chance of you buying the big one on your infrequent flights are infantisimily small. Of course, if it's your time.....

My advice? Drink copious amounts of alcohol prior to walking down the plank...er..umm.. I mean the ramp/walkway thingy!

Don't try to out think your fear, and ignore reassurance based on stats. The fear isn't rational, and trying to make it go away with rational arguments isn't going to work.

See a therapist and talk about it - find out what triggers the fear. Your fear probably goes beyond flight. And ask about a small ativan, dramamine and a glass of wine mid-flight. Yes, alcohol, but only one.
But just one.

Accept that your fear is not about flying or terrorists, but perhaps about lack of control, or some such related issue. See a therapist, and start to find out. You'll be able to convert the fear into some other emotion.

I agree. The alcohol will calm you down. That was a funny one by "placeu2"

I'm not sure if you are more afraid of flying in general or the threat of terror attacks. There's nothing wrong with being a fearful flyer - lots of us are, I don't ever fly without a small dose of valium. Talk to your doctor. I highly recommend it. As far as terror attacks, please consider the thousands of flights every day all over the world. The odds that any one person (you) would be on a plane that is attacked on any one day must be incredibly tiny. Believe me, I really do understand your fears, I share them with you. But you have to be realistic - the chances that you would be harmed in a plane mishap are so tiny as to be not worth worrying about.

Joy

Terror isn't funny, and isn't solved by funny. Someone else suggested professional help, and look what occurred in their case. The same can happen for you but don't delay in seeking counselling.

Go Travel,

I'd had my fear conquered for the last ten years(as much as you can conquer a phobia) via some professional help (fear of flying class--graduation included a round trip flight from Tampa to Miami)lots of reading and talking to the people in my life who fly a lot (including two friends, one a Delta pilot and the other a UPS pilot). Since then I'd flown 4-5 times a year including Europe twice. I did alright the first time after 9/11 but the last flight I took (Feb.)had the worst turbulence I've ever experienced.

Now with all the talk about an "imminent" threat, the US may still be at yellow, but I'm at red.

I suggested taking separate flights to MV, but DH knows there's a good chance he'd end there alone.

Sandy--I'll grab my husband or the closest person to me if needed. I don't sit with the kids because I don't want my fear to affect them. My boys think it's funny anyway and LOVE turbulance.

Jayne, I was exactly like you about flying until a beloved relative came down with a lethal cancer......... As I watched her lose her battle, I said to myself, "now THAT is something to be afraid of." I have never been afraid of flying since. The truth is that planes CAN crash, but almost never do! That's a fact of life. If you don't stay awake worrying about driving your car to buy groceries, then you certainly shouldn't worry about flying! I'm very much of the school that when it's my time, it's my time, whether I'm flying or stepping out of the bathtub. Good luck, Jayne. I hope you will talk to a professional if you can't reason this out on your own........... But don't keep cancelling your trips. (And I say, don't let this latest terror warning undo you! Something COULD happen anytime........... terror warning or not....... Don't let it rule your life!)

I don't think you particularly need counseling, we all have our worries.I just tell myself that I have a similar chance of winning the lottery as I do crashing in an airplane.

Kalmia, your age?

But Kalmia, some of us buy lottery tickets!

My (similarly unhelpful?) advice would be to think that a plane to MV is probably pretty low on terrorists priority list.

Jayne, retake that class.

Years from now, do you really want to look back at your life and regret what you didn't do because of this phobia?

Blacktie put it best; it isn't a rational fear so trying make it go away with facts won't work.

Thank you for all the kind responses and encouragement--the positive reinforecment does help.

I do "medicate"; My family doc is also a good friend and she's been great helping me come up with a combo of meds (she's my neighbor and called my husband yesterday to tell him to hide the morning paper!)--she strongly discourages mixing alcohol with med, but a glass of wine hasn't killed me yet, but only one glass.

I'm pretty worthless by the time we reach our destination but DH props me in a chair while he gets the rental car.

Blacktie--you are correct, it is not funny but I understand how humor can help in these situations.

Oh thanks...I just bought a lottery ticket.

Have you seen Meg Ryan in that film where she is afraid to fly to Paris, until her boyfriend dumps her for a French woman? The name escapes me.
I hope you can see someone to help you or you may lose out on some wonderful moments in your life.
I wish you luck and overcome.

Blacktie--the guy who gave it was a retired pilot and has passed away (of natural causes, not--you know).

I think I just need to listen to the Democrats who are saying that this latest threat is a political tactic!

Ohmygosh cigalechanta--you WOULD NOT believe how many people kidded me about the opening scene in that movie! Was it French Kiss or something similar?

Yes, it was "French Kiss." Great movie that I just watched yesterday for the umpteenth time.