HELP!! Scared to fly!!
Jul 26th, 1999, 01:58 PM
#1
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HELP!! Scared to fly!!
I am going on my honeymoon in six weeks. We are going to California & Hawaii from New Jersey. I have flown before but am petrified the entire time I am up in the air. We have several flights booked with one being overnight (four around six hours long). I would really like to sleep through them if possible. I was going to call my doctor and ask for something to calm me (knock me out preferably). I don't want to be a zombie when I get there though. Has anyone taken anything to help them in this situation. Any recommendations would be appreciated. Thanks.
Jul 26th, 1999, 02:28 PM
#2
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Ask your doctor for a low dose of valium. It will take the edge off of the fear and nervousness and by the time you arrive it will have worn off. I really don't think you want to be knocked out nor is it safe - you don't want to fall and break your neck on the way to the restroom you know. Try to relax and enjoy this special trip! Congratulations.
Jul 26th, 1999, 02:50 PM
#3
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Pat
My doctor prescribed Antivert for me and I have used it travelling overseas several times. It is actually used for balance and motion sickness. Something to do with vertigo. I usually take it a hour before I want to go to sleep with milk. I've heard that motion sickness medicines that you buy over the counter have the same effect. The worst thing to do is drink -- believe me I've tried it It doesn't work, it just dehydrates you and make you feed awful when you get to your final destination.
Hope you enjoy Hawaii, Its wonderful.
My doctor prescribed Antivert for me and I have used it travelling overseas several times. It is actually used for balance and motion sickness. Something to do with vertigo. I usually take it a hour before I want to go to sleep with milk. I've heard that motion sickness medicines that you buy over the counter have the same effect. The worst thing to do is drink -- believe me I've tried it It doesn't work, it just dehydrates you and make you feed awful when you get to your final destination.
Hope you enjoy Hawaii, Its wonderful.
Jul 26th, 1999, 03:32 PM
#4
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Patty, I used to feel just like you are feeling. I'd wake up in a cold sweat sometime before a planned trip, and think that I just couldn't do it! I tried all the medications mentioned by the above posters, and still did not and do not sleep on a plane!!!
BUT I am no longer afraid. Something happened to someone very close to me that made me realize that almost everything is more dangerous than flying! And we all have to accept the fact that something indeed could happen to us at any time, and once you do, you lose a lot of the fear. You drive to the grocery store (most accidents happen within 25 miles of your home), people fall in their own homes, lightning strikes people, people get terminal illnesses. It isn't likely that any of these things will happen to us, but they're more likely than a plane crash!
The drug that helped me most was Xanax, but people react to drugs so individually that I can't predict what would work for you. Xanax calmed me but I still didn't sleep. I think my body just wasn't meant to sleep on a plane.
Once you get to Hawaii, the trip will have been worth it, I'm sure! Hawaii is what got me flying - I just had to get there, and now I've been several times, and don't think twice about it.
Have a wonderful time on your honeymoon. E-mail me if I can help you with any info.
Aloha, Ruth
BUT I am no longer afraid. Something happened to someone very close to me that made me realize that almost everything is more dangerous than flying! And we all have to accept the fact that something indeed could happen to us at any time, and once you do, you lose a lot of the fear. You drive to the grocery store (most accidents happen within 25 miles of your home), people fall in their own homes, lightning strikes people, people get terminal illnesses. It isn't likely that any of these things will happen to us, but they're more likely than a plane crash!
The drug that helped me most was Xanax, but people react to drugs so individually that I can't predict what would work for you. Xanax calmed me but I still didn't sleep. I think my body just wasn't meant to sleep on a plane.
Once you get to Hawaii, the trip will have been worth it, I'm sure! Hawaii is what got me flying - I just had to get there, and now I've been several times, and don't think twice about it.
Have a wonderful time on your honeymoon. E-mail me if I can help you with any info.
Aloha, Ruth
Jul 26th, 1999, 08:40 PM
#5
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First of all, it is generally accepted that commercial air-travel is the safest mode of travel. (w/ the possible exception of large cruise-liners).
I can still understand your fear, though, I also have it. It may indeed be a good idea to take something for the flight but I agree with the other posters that you want to remain fully alert and aware for safety reasons. Be aware that different people react differently to the same medication.
I know it's kind of late now but just in case you can still change your plans, you might want to want to think about going somewhere much closer.
There are several places in the Caribbean which have a great deal to offer and which you can get to via non-stop flights from NY or NJ. There are several ways in which you could even avoid flying altogether. You could drive or take Amtrak to Florida and then once in FL take a Caribbean or Bahamas cruise. But do be aware that according to the statistics I've heard, train-travel is safer than auto-travel but still not as safe as air-travel.
By the way, since there is often a tendency to overlook the obvious and less-exotic, let me mention that while not as exotic and special as much of the Caribbean and Hawaii, FL does have much to offer itself.
I can still understand your fear, though, I also have it. It may indeed be a good idea to take something for the flight but I agree with the other posters that you want to remain fully alert and aware for safety reasons. Be aware that different people react differently to the same medication.
I know it's kind of late now but just in case you can still change your plans, you might want to want to think about going somewhere much closer.
There are several places in the Caribbean which have a great deal to offer and which you can get to via non-stop flights from NY or NJ. There are several ways in which you could even avoid flying altogether. You could drive or take Amtrak to Florida and then once in FL take a Caribbean or Bahamas cruise. But do be aware that according to the statistics I've heard, train-travel is safer than auto-travel but still not as safe as air-travel.
By the way, since there is often a tendency to overlook the obvious and less-exotic, let me mention that while not as exotic and special as much of the Caribbean and Hawaii, FL does have much to offer itself.
Jul 26th, 1999, 10:39 PM
#7
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Hello Patty,
I live in England and travel to Florida every year on vacation.
I too have a fear of flying. In the past my wife and i have cancelled Vacations because of my fear.Remember though that there are thousands of people who feel the same way as you do, believe me when i say that i know exactly how you feel, i really do.
People who do not have the same fear do not understand what it is like to be so fearful of flying.
However, as i said we still travel by plane to Florida every year. Why? several reasons (just think about them)1. Because we love it there, 2. While i am still (fairly) young i want to enjoy life and have a good time, 3. It is worth 8 hours of inconvenience to enjoy a vacation i will remember for a lifetime, 4. I do not want to dissapoint my wife, after all i have flown several times(i can do it again). So can you. Patty are you going to let this fear get the better of you, NO. Get yourself ready for vacation and GO FOR IT,you CAN do it. I know you can because I do it every year. Forget about going to see your Doctor, you do not need Medication. I always have a large Beer at the Airport before i board the plane.You should do the same, whatever your favourite Alcholic drink is. Do not get drunk though!
A Honeymoon should be one of the happiest times of your life.
If you feel you are starting to panic about it just take a long deep breath and try to control your breathing and your emotions. Remember your partner will be looking forward to the trip as well, talk to him about it, let him know how you feel.
If there is anything else i can do to help please e-mail me on [email protected]. I expect to receive a mail when you get back from your wonderful Honeymoon!!
I live in England and travel to Florida every year on vacation.
I too have a fear of flying. In the past my wife and i have cancelled Vacations because of my fear.Remember though that there are thousands of people who feel the same way as you do, believe me when i say that i know exactly how you feel, i really do.
People who do not have the same fear do not understand what it is like to be so fearful of flying.
However, as i said we still travel by plane to Florida every year. Why? several reasons (just think about them)1. Because we love it there, 2. While i am still (fairly) young i want to enjoy life and have a good time, 3. It is worth 8 hours of inconvenience to enjoy a vacation i will remember for a lifetime, 4. I do not want to dissapoint my wife, after all i have flown several times(i can do it again). So can you. Patty are you going to let this fear get the better of you, NO. Get yourself ready for vacation and GO FOR IT,you CAN do it. I know you can because I do it every year. Forget about going to see your Doctor, you do not need Medication. I always have a large Beer at the Airport before i board the plane.You should do the same, whatever your favourite Alcholic drink is. Do not get drunk though!
A Honeymoon should be one of the happiest times of your life.
If you feel you are starting to panic about it just take a long deep breath and try to control your breathing and your emotions. Remember your partner will be looking forward to the trip as well, talk to him about it, let him know how you feel.
If there is anything else i can do to help please e-mail me on [email protected]. I expect to receive a mail when you get back from your wonderful Honeymoon!!
Jul 27th, 1999, 05:13 AM
#9
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Decent Tropical, you're a hoot!
Patty, try searching on Amazon.com for a book called "From Takeoff to Landing". It's a book written by a recovering fearful flyer and a commercial airline pilot. It's very good at explaining what occurs when a plane flies and explains how low the risk of anything going wrong are.
Reading it certainly helped me all but lose my fear of flying.
Have a great time!
Patty, try searching on Amazon.com for a book called "From Takeoff to Landing". It's a book written by a recovering fearful flyer and a commercial airline pilot. It's very good at explaining what occurs when a plane flies and explains how low the risk of anything going wrong are.
Reading it certainly helped me all but lose my fear of flying.
Have a great time!
Jul 27th, 1999, 06:45 AM
#10
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Oh boy can I relate! I'm about to make the same trip to HI from DC and I'm not looking forward to the flight. My worst part is the takeoff and landing. Once I'm in the air for awhile, then I'm OK. You just got to get me up there..that's the problem. I read on another Web site that ginger snap cookies can help with that butterfly feeling in your stomach. I'm going to give it a try.
Good luck to you. At least you and I can take comfort that we aren't the only ones who don't relish flying.
Good luck to you. At least you and I can take comfort that we aren't the only ones who don't relish flying.
Jul 27th, 1999, 07:10 AM
#11
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Hi, Patty -- I'm a recovering flight phobic and know EXACTLY what you are going through, and I feel for you. Here are some things I've learned:
- Fearfulness and anxiety about something will gain energy if you are nervous about other things at the same time. I suspect you are already nervous about the wedding, and the combinations of worries are making your anxiety level rise daily. If you can spend a half-hour a day in total peace and relaxation, whatever it takes (bath, music, walk, meditation), you will reduce the overall anxiety level a great deal. Make staying SERENE a priority, but don't panic if you feel panic, particularly about 3-5 days ahead of time. That'll be the worst and you'll get past it.
-Similarly, each time you give in to fear and change your plans to accommodate it, it will make the level of fear NEXT time much worse. I'm now able to fly every couple of weeks, but a decade ago I wouldn't go anywhere a train didn't go. Each flight you "conquer" is a victory, and each victory makes the next flight easier.
-Use every crutch you need, otherwise. I rely on a combination of Xanax, loose clothing, favorite soothing tapes (or CDs), rewards like reading junkie magazines I like but usually don't allow myself or a new book or mystery I've been looking forward to. Or candy (not chocolate -- stay AWAY from caffeine). I also try to get all the exercise I can the day before -- it decreases the restlessness on the plane.
- Alcohol is a lousy idea, for many reasons including dehydration and disorientation, but if you try a drug like Xanax, consider trying it out well beforehand, so you learn what to expect from it. For example, I've learned that Xanax will not work for me unless I've taken a dose the day or night before, so that the pill I take about an hour before the flight will be my _second_ dose. And I know it makes me drowsy and will leave me with a headache when it wears off unless I take ibuprofen for that. Don't try a new drug for the first time on your wedding day!!!
Re:long flights: I get some comfort in doing this (a little odd, but...): Suppose my flight will be a six-hour flight, leaving at 3 p.m. On an ordinary day beforehand, I note what I'm doing at 3 pm and then again at 9 pm and tell myself, "this time next week, the plane will be on the ground and I'll be in (e.g.,) Hawaii." I figure overnight flights are even better, because dozing makes the time pass without notice. If you need to get knocked out altogether, okay, but make sure you know what the drug will do.
Once again: don't panic if you panic! It'll just make you panic! This time next year, it'll be a GREAT memory and a great victory over your worries.
Let us know how things work out -- a lot of us will be pulling for you! (I always "enjoy" seeing just as many white knuckles in First Class as coach -- even the privileged frequent flyers have trouble with bumpy flights or landings!)
- Fearfulness and anxiety about something will gain energy if you are nervous about other things at the same time. I suspect you are already nervous about the wedding, and the combinations of worries are making your anxiety level rise daily. If you can spend a half-hour a day in total peace and relaxation, whatever it takes (bath, music, walk, meditation), you will reduce the overall anxiety level a great deal. Make staying SERENE a priority, but don't panic if you feel panic, particularly about 3-5 days ahead of time. That'll be the worst and you'll get past it.
-Similarly, each time you give in to fear and change your plans to accommodate it, it will make the level of fear NEXT time much worse. I'm now able to fly every couple of weeks, but a decade ago I wouldn't go anywhere a train didn't go. Each flight you "conquer" is a victory, and each victory makes the next flight easier.
-Use every crutch you need, otherwise. I rely on a combination of Xanax, loose clothing, favorite soothing tapes (or CDs), rewards like reading junkie magazines I like but usually don't allow myself or a new book or mystery I've been looking forward to. Or candy (not chocolate -- stay AWAY from caffeine). I also try to get all the exercise I can the day before -- it decreases the restlessness on the plane.
- Alcohol is a lousy idea, for many reasons including dehydration and disorientation, but if you try a drug like Xanax, consider trying it out well beforehand, so you learn what to expect from it. For example, I've learned that Xanax will not work for me unless I've taken a dose the day or night before, so that the pill I take about an hour before the flight will be my _second_ dose. And I know it makes me drowsy and will leave me with a headache when it wears off unless I take ibuprofen for that. Don't try a new drug for the first time on your wedding day!!!
Re:long flights: I get some comfort in doing this (a little odd, but...): Suppose my flight will be a six-hour flight, leaving at 3 p.m. On an ordinary day beforehand, I note what I'm doing at 3 pm and then again at 9 pm and tell myself, "this time next week, the plane will be on the ground and I'll be in (e.g.,) Hawaii." I figure overnight flights are even better, because dozing makes the time pass without notice. If you need to get knocked out altogether, okay, but make sure you know what the drug will do.
Once again: don't panic if you panic! It'll just make you panic! This time next year, it'll be a GREAT memory and a great victory over your worries.
Let us know how things work out -- a lot of us will be pulling for you! (I always "enjoy" seeing just as many white knuckles in First Class as coach -- even the privileged frequent flyers have trouble with bumpy flights or landings!)
Jul 27th, 1999, 07:12 AM
#12
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This image helps me with fear of crashes: I look at the thousands of people around me in the airport and realize that this many people fly in and out of here every day and they've all come back to fly again. I also remember that I've never won a lottery either -- the odds are against me there but for me re:airline accidents.
Jul 27th, 1999, 04:14 PM
#13
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Hi Patty - My husband and I just returned from Hawaii. We did the JFK to LAX to Maui flights and we understand just how you feel! My fear of flying has just recently developed....not really sure why and surely don't feel like speculating..that certainly won't help you!
Anyway......my husband, who really hates to fly, and I found the flights to be much better than we thought. We did things to make the time pass by such as reading, eating, watching a movie, listening to the classical music station supplied by the airlines on the headphones, and sleeping.
When I fly I am prone to headaches so I took Tylenol PM. Not only did I get rid of my headache, I slept! On the way home (we had a red-eye flight to LAX) I took two Tylenol PM and slept the ENTIRE flight. No side effects either.
The most important thing to do is relax and think about what an awesome time you will have on your honeymoon. Buy a travel book about Hawaii and read it on the plane. Once those exciting, beautiful thoughts are floating in your mind, the fear will be gone and all you will be is excited. Enjoy!
Anyway......my husband, who really hates to fly, and I found the flights to be much better than we thought. We did things to make the time pass by such as reading, eating, watching a movie, listening to the classical music station supplied by the airlines on the headphones, and sleeping.
When I fly I am prone to headaches so I took Tylenol PM. Not only did I get rid of my headache, I slept! On the way home (we had a red-eye flight to LAX) I took two Tylenol PM and slept the ENTIRE flight. No side effects either.
The most important thing to do is relax and think about what an awesome time you will have on your honeymoon. Buy a travel book about Hawaii and read it on the plane. Once those exciting, beautiful thoughts are floating in your mind, the fear will be gone and all you will be is excited. Enjoy!
Jul 27th, 1999, 04:50 PM
#14
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Patty, I hate to fly but don't fear it. Have several friends who actually have panic attacks in a plane. One was diagnosed with a funny drop in blood pressure as the plane took off which made her dizzy and felt out of control. She takes a medication from her physician. Another friend got tremendous help from hypnosis. She self hypnotises and has a post hypnotic suggestion that she is in a train and climbing a mountain, thus the going up feeling. It's rather remarkable. I've flown before and after with her. I really do think you need to consult with your doctor if you think it's going to be a major problem. I wish you much happiness in your marriage and a lovely honeymoon in Hawaii.
Jul 27th, 1999, 08:56 PM
#15
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Hi
You have gotten many good suggestions, so I can't add much. And I think any of us that have fear of flying can relate to you.
I was in a similar situation several years ago and a few things have really helped me; I will probably never "love"
to fly but now I can do it without being terrified before the trip. Maybe one or all of these will help you.
Xanax- didn't make me sleep but helped me relax
Have a plan, know what you are going to do when you get on the plane, such as get your music ready; earphones really helped me because then I could not hear every meaningless noise in the airplane. Also crossword or other word puzzle; even though I love to read, a puzzle occupied my mind more than reading.
Also, try to keep this is perspective. You will spend about 11-12 hours in the air and then will probably have at last a week in Hawaii, then a similar trip hope. So the flight is just a small portion of your vacation. The flight will enable you to travel to a beautiful
state and have a memorable honeymoon.
Have a good trip.
You have gotten many good suggestions, so I can't add much. And I think any of us that have fear of flying can relate to you.
I was in a similar situation several years ago and a few things have really helped me; I will probably never "love"
to fly but now I can do it without being terrified before the trip. Maybe one or all of these will help you.
Xanax- didn't make me sleep but helped me relax
Have a plan, know what you are going to do when you get on the plane, such as get your music ready; earphones really helped me because then I could not hear every meaningless noise in the airplane. Also crossword or other word puzzle; even though I love to read, a puzzle occupied my mind more than reading.
Also, try to keep this is perspective. You will spend about 11-12 hours in the air and then will probably have at last a week in Hawaii, then a similar trip hope. So the flight is just a small portion of your vacation. The flight will enable you to travel to a beautiful
state and have a memorable honeymoon.
Have a good trip.
