Time to haul out my "Bite Me' tee - looks like it's beach action again this year. It will take them time to get from HI to the eats coast, so no sweat yet. Hey why not ban transit thru the Canal?

In the interest of safety, here are my top 10 things not to do if you don't wish to get munched on by a shark:
1) Do not swim in a chum slick.
2) Do not swim with chum in ones pants.
3) Do not wear a 'Bite Me' shirt in the open water-- sharks have wonderous eyesight.
4) If it has been raining, do not carry an umbrella into the water. Sharks hate the rain and will flock to shelter, and they are always hungry.
5) Try to swim near the center of your pod, sharks will be more likely to pick off people on the outskirts.
6) Do not go swimming or fishing with Roy Schieder, Robert Shaw, or Richard Dreyfuss. These people attract killer sharks, trust me.
7) Do not go swimming if anybody has a video camera out.... shark attacks always seem to get caught on tape. You don't want to be part of Fox's 'When good man-eating sharks go bad part VI' do you?
8) If you see a feeding frenzy going on, don't swim into the middle to get a closer look.
9) Avoid swimming with ill-tempered carp with 'lasers' on their heads-- they can be as dangerous as a shark.
10) Stay out of the water.

What are sharks doing in the water, they don't belong there.

Has anyone ever seen that episode of Jackass on MTV where the guy straps bloody fish to his waist, wearing only a leopard skin thong swimsuit, and goes swimming in shark-infested waters??

They do some funny and dangerous stuff on that show but that one absolutely blew me away. No cages, mirrors or tricks. That guy had to be a crackhead.

Dear What Beach,
Yes this is the beach not too far from the Sheraton Kauai, a bit further from the Hyatt, maybe a mile or more. Actually, I was swimming at this very beach about a month ago. Who would have guessed? Sure, everyone worries about sharks, but in reality I think you have more chance of getting hit by lightening, and that is pretty slim. I won't let this stop me from going in the water. Everyone has to decide that for themselves. Right?

Gee, I wonder if the last million people who swam in those waters feel like they just missed a brush with fate.
Who'd a thunk it?
One out of every million swimmers gets attacked.
Heck, they ought to just ban all swimming everywhere in Hawaii, I say.
People could get hurt!

Funny enough, Tennessee and Hawaii are 2 of my most favorite places. I love Hawaii and would live there in a heart beat. But Tennessee beautiful too. They both offer nature at its best.

Sue the bastards! There should be signs posted all along the coast warning swimmers that there's the possibility that they can either be chomped on by a shark or...drown. The state of Hawaii is guilty of gross negligence. It has the duty to warn tourists that oceans do pose a danger!

John, loved your list! My laugh for the day!

speaking of which, heres a link to electronic shark repellent, I kid you not...

http://dailynews.yahoo.com/fc/Science/Animal_News/

A stronger repellent is to stay out of murky water here is the boys account of how he got away from the shark.

http://starbulletin.com/2002/03/27/news/

from the second article in link Terry provided."There were two ocean conditions Monday that usually mean a greater risk for sharks.One was murky water due to the heavy rains; the other was a freshwater stream nearby."

No, no, sharks love a good joke - that "bite me" tee would send them into convulsions, thus affording you an excellent opportunity to swim to Capt. K's for a dance, or Woodys for poppers. Beware sharks are known to frequent that type of hot spot.

Interesting article Terry. What a brave kid. Good to know that you can be mindful of signs in nature. Never would have guest you could read an environment ripe for something like a Shark attack.

Tennessee/Hawaii -- The areas with waterfalls on the road to Hana on Maui DO, in fact, greatly resemble waterfalls and similar areas in the summer in the Smoky Mountains and Stone Door and Fiery Gizzard mountain areas of Tennessee. No kidding.

A couple of years ago Time magazine stated that based on the data you are more likely to be bit by a celebrity than by a shark. Sort of puts the whole thing in perspective.

Time magazine say anything about being bit by a celebrity boxer?

Well, with my luck when we go to Kauai in October the sharks will be hibernating or migrating. Poooh. If there aren't any sharks, can I pick the celebrity I get bitten by? I pick Harrison Ford.

I pick him too.
Think he'd bite me if I asked?