ok, this is bizarre--I got out my silverware box this afternoon, and decided to use my nice wine glasses! What am I saving them for?!

Exactly Sylvia, so many save all their nice items for "special occassions". I always thought just waking up in the morning was a "special" occassion, LOL.

I would encourage everyone to get out all their beautiful items and start using them on a day to day basis. I understand if people don't when they have little ones they may cause the china to be broken or chipped etc. but even than using it for Sunday dinners is nice. And China is much sturdier than most type of dishes.

The only time that I had my china break is when my cabinet shelf broke. But that is another story. I immediately replaced all the broken pieces. What a mess that was!

BTW, I have talked to so many women that inherited their mother's or grandmother's china, silver flatware etc. and didn't even like the pattern. So why not use yours and if something eventually happens to it at least you have enjoyed it.

I totally agree Sylvia and LoveItaly. I also use my good china and crystal oten and feel great every time I do. Why save it and then never use it.

I agree. I started using my wedding china every day in 1997 and I'm still using it daily for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The reason behind using it daily is a long story, but it's certainly nice to have gotten so much use out of the pieces over the last several years. I do, however, keep several place settings put aside so that they stay in perfect condition for special occassions.

Now I remember why I don't use it every day--it has to be washed by hand!
But that's what teenagers are for, so I guess I'll start using THEM more too!

LOL, sylvia

I agree, china and crystal should be enjoyed. That's why I picked up a couple of extra place settings -- just in case. I also love to mix/match my crystal, makes it less formal. But I do wash them by hand.

I also like to use my linens. The napkins, sylvia, I make the sons iron (when they are around). Of course they would much prefer using a paper napkin or a roll of paper towels (they're messy people, lol), but too bad, I say.

I entertain the entire family frequently and have always used the two sets of china.

Within the last three years, because of the numbers of people, my peers (SIL and others) have insisted I use corelle or paper plates, because they are sick of the clean up time it takes. They all help, but we are cleaning up until the second games have started. We have no more teenagers at all. Just babies to 10 and LOTS of young marrieds with babies. They are busy enough.

I love the china I have and use it everyday for me. I also have 2 full sets in my basement from aunts who never used theirs and NONE of their grandchildren want it. I have tried and tried to get one to come and take it.

So I now have a set of 1908 era MIKASA with real gold trim from Japan, imported from Fields in the 1930's, that will be sold. I am going to make a lot of money on this, but it has made me furious. Do you think one of them would want it? I told the one girl (not a relation to me) who is 30 and has a beautiful home to just take the serving pieces (gravy boat, salt/pepper) etc. and showed her on the Internet what they cost and she didn't want to be bothered. She said she would never use it. So I will be $3000 to $5000 richer on this set alone, I guess.

This women is a nurse and all of these young women work jobs besides having children. Lots have entire careers, and they just don't want to spend time putting plate covers on anything.

I have lots of crystal, and I use about a fourth of it frequently. I had silver and gave it away to someone who really uses and polishes it.

They are lovely gifts and should be appreciated, but not every woman will have time or occasion to use them much. Most are set away or displayed.

I also have the entire set of Himmel plates with duplicates- but I don't want to even go there.

My china is by Lenox. The pattern is Solitaire. It is cream with a plantinum band. The department store said it could be put in the dishwasher as long as I did not put the china in the cabinet until they had completely cooled down (after being dried in the dishwasher). I consequently have always emptied the dishwasher a few hours after the last cycle is finished and like I said I have done this for decades and my china is still beautiful. So perhaps a lot of you do not need to wash your beautiful china by hand?

For our wedding someone went on line(EBAY) looking for our silver.

For the price of one place setting retail they got five place settings AND two serving forks.

Smart shopper!

Another great place to get china/crystal/silver for less is Replacements.com I have used this to add to my everyday silverware when it was discontinued. They will also buy pieces from you if they are in need.

I wash the crystal stemware by hand because it's too tall to put in the dishwasher, and the silver because someone (?) told me to. Alas, I don't have good china, even after all these years, because I have pinched pennies (and have older sisters who got any good stuff). Maybe I should go to E-bay and buy some?!

I can offer you my vase...

Hi sylvia, I have used my sterling on a daily basis and have always put it in the dishwasher. It shows no wear and tear. Brand is Wallace. Give it a try, than you will want to use it more. I hardly ever use cystal glasswear as that you do have to wash by hand.

bardo1: I will weigh in as a southerner who usually gives something from the registry, but cash is ALWAYS appropriate, and many DO give cash!

In addtion, southerners DO have 'meal' receptions (if they choose). The last two weddings I've been to had sit down meals.

I read and re-read sylvia3's remarks but failed to see anger in her posts, she just expressed she was not going to worry if someone chose to sneer at her gift, which in IMHO is right on!

JJ5: I have always enjoyed your posts but you seem to be overly sensitive on this subject and making alot of assumptions on this thread...
BTW what makes you think most of us work with fewer 25 yo's than you do?
If you enjoy your family & friend's wedding traditions, what does it matter what anyone else thinks or doesn't think?

Belle

You can give what you want and what you can afford. There is absolutely no rule that says the value of your gift should be any particular amount, and certainly not the estimated cost of a dinner or reception. A wedding is not a fund-raising event.

Yes it is...for newly married to have a trouble-free beginning. Grrrr

Belle, I am absolutely not over-sensitive on this issue. I just normally come to the the defense of anyone that has 3 or 6 against one. Period. Especially when it is so catty.

I don't see why people have to get angry or call people classless or speak/ write to them in a demeaning manner for something that is their own truth- telling opinion. And some here constantly do that with these traditional issues. If they are different they are censured.

I don't agree with the "spirit" which with Ziana has received her "gifts" but find it obnoxious the way she is gang-blasted. Re-read the first half of this thread. And because I choose to be generous and don't feel like a bride and groom should be paying for their own party basically, why do others get so very angry. I said what MY values are for myself. You can consider what you think of as a "gift" anyway you want to that is appropriate for your own sensibilites and/or budget. I just think that to consider $25 loving is actually funny.

And I would lay $500 bet that there are VERY few people on this thread that spend nearly every waking/working hour with 19 to 26 year old as I do. All of my staff, 90% of my students and 75% of my patrons are all in this age range. You might not see the tears over the wedding plans as much as I. Many of these people from all economic backgrounds do not have the money for a big wedding but parents may have traditional requirements that they are trying to appease etc.

This is 2006 and not 15 years ago. Weddings are not cheap. Even the home wedding and reception is costlier now.

JJ5,
thanks for your support. But I use to it. Having a weakness like non-tolerance for stupid people I am getting beat up a lot.
You are right - all I started with was 'giving $300 is good!!!' and see what happened? LOL
They jumped me as if I was in season...lol
These cheapos are trying to cover up fact of being cheap and being affraid that someone can get fat for their money. That is all to it.
I like to leave parties with feelings I had done something nice. And receiving Thanks you note I know I deserve it.

And btw - I just got addition to my 'junk basement store' this weekend about $50.00 worth.

It's not cheapness to buy only what you can afford.

When did this idea of guests' paying for a party start? I doubt that you'll find any arbiter of manners agreeing with you. That's like throwing a dinner at a restaurant and asking invitees to pay for it rather than the host's paying. A wedding should be in the price range that the hosts (presumably the bride's parents) are comfortable with; no one attending should be expected to help foot the bill.