OWJ...so sorry to hear the news. Our thoughts are with you, your husband, and your family. Lean on each other for support!

I was all set to write some rant or something and then read OWJ's post. I am so very sorry. This is some of what I do for work..both as a therapist and as a nurse in high risk newborn care. I do not know if you have delivered yet. If not, you can speak with your MD and with the staff at the hospital and actually have your delivery done as you wish with time to spend with the baby as well. If you want to, have a photographer there you trust and have some photos taken. Beyond that, hopefully someone has referred you to S.A.N.D. which is support after neonatal death. These are groups facilitated by LCSW's usually at birth centers and a place to meet and speak with others who have endured similar losses. Other advice I can offer is to speak about the baby as much as you want to with people. Generally speaking only the rare (and sadly personally experienced) will know you just might need to talk about the baby.

Here's my rave: babies such as yours are that wanted. You deserve to be parents.

Rave: The breadth and depth of a caring Fodors family. God's peace to you, OWJ.

OneWanderingJew: my heart just breaks for you. I had a miscarriage after years of trying to get pregnant, and I felt so utterly sad and heartbroken. But I will tell you this.....it does get better over time. Allow yourself to grieve. Talk about it - with strangers if you have to. Some people simply won't know what to say and may avoid you or avoid talking about it.

I found a lot of help from strangers on ivillage (www.ivillage.com). They have forums to discuss miscarriages and situations like yours. It really helped to talk to others (anonymously) who understood my feelings. Perhaps you might find some help there.

Sorry to ramble, but I just felt your
pain and wanted to help! Take care of yourself!

OWJ:

OWJ
You & your husband are surrounded
here by many, many friends with open
arms(and ears). I wish for you
hope and comfort.
R5

OWJ, I was all set to read these posts and have my usual weekend laughs. I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I am sure that tons of prayers and hugs are being sent your way. I hope that you can feel them.
When my son was four he was diagnosed with a rare brain disorder, The doctors thought he would die but couldnt say when. It was the most devasting day of our lives and words cannot explain it.We would be driving home fom Pitts Childrens hospital and it was early fall. I remember looking out the window at the beautiful leaves,there coloring indescrible, and thinking at the same time how cruel life can be.
My son is disabled but he is now 22 and in college. I thank God every day that I have him. I will say many prayers for you and hope that through the support of a loving husband, family and friends you will find some comfort.
Mary

To OWJ, from an ocassional Fodors poster, just want to add my sincere sympathies on your loss.

I was so sad to read your news. I hope you'll take some comfort from seeing how you've touched so many online friends.

Rave: All the caring and supportive people on this board. It is truly amazing. OWJ - my prayers are w/ you and your family.

OWJ,

Lo siento mi amiga.

A glass or two of a great red French Burgundy may help ease the transition to the future and many more children.

M

To onewanderingjew, my heart is broken for you dear one. You are one of my favorite posters, you are always so full of life, of kindness.

I was so happy to know that your were going to have a dear baby. And now that little one is with the angels.

A candle has been lighted in honor of your precious baby.

May you and your husband take comfort in each other. May your parents be comforted also.

So many here on Fodors obviously share in your pain but of course know there is no pain like yours.

But may love and peace find you. May Gods grace be with you. May all our prayers help you in this, your most difficult time.

Love Italy. A great idea. Tomorrow all of us should light a candle for OWJ and their family. Maybe somehow they will feel our support.

Dear Everyone,
You all have brought both tears to our eyes and a smile to our lips. As horrible as this is, it is a most amazing feeling that I take from all of you.

All I know to say is thank you for listening and reaching out.
Debbie

LoveItaly--your words touched me and I wanted to thank you personally. I love the candle idea. I think we'll light one tonight too.

MaryKC--I am a special ed. teacher and have worked with a good number of kids w/TBI and other brain related issues...It makes my heart happy to hear your son is in college after all he went through. I always try to tell my students' parents that you just never know...I have no doubts that it took a lot of hard work on your part and your son's and lots of answered prayers.

OWJ
So, so sorry. Blessings.

marykc, may I suggest that at 9.00am (no matter what time zone one is in) in otherwords 9:00am in your own time zone, that each one of us light a candle for dear OWJ's baby Saturday morning. And say a prayer.

May the angels be with their dear baby, with them and all their family and loved ones.

I have a candle lit this evening. The flame is pointing up to heaven.

Peace to all.

Rant: I caught my son's cold. However, given what some of you here are going through, things could be a lot worse.

Rant: I am a presiding judge in one of our local precincts for Tuesday's election, and I don't want to still be sick since I expect things might be pretty busy.

Rave: Election advertising is almost over!

Rave: Spent a few hours in Santa Fe after a meeting today. Had some great Chinese food at Chow's Chinese Bistro, then went to Trader Joe's. Yum!

Rave: The local guild of organists showed the original Phantom of the Opera tonight, complete with theater organ accompaniment. I laughed myself silly.

Lee Ann

Rave: Am celebrating 16 years of sobriety today. All this week, I have been remembering the bad old days and also the many good people who helped me. That was October 30, 1988. It was a couple of years later when I started travelling internationally, for fun. Can't participate in some social activities now, but the way I had been participating wasn't really social, so the net result is that I am not missing anything.

mrwunfl, CONGRATS!! Good for you! An addiction isn't an easy thing to overcome and I applaud you for your success.

OWJ, maybe you could plant a tree as a rememberence?

Congratulations, mrwonderful. I have a friend who also celebrated his 16th year
of sobriety this summer.
I'm proud of both of you for your recovery. I know how difficult it was.

GoTravel, that is a very nice thought.

mrwunfl...congratulations on a terrific accomplishment!